There's No Crying in Pocket Pool

Just in time for the All Star Break, I'm happy to introduce the captivating and long awaited Soxaholix eBook spinoff.

Buy the eBook at Amazon

Top 10 Reasons to Buy the eBook

10. Doesn't require a Kindle and can be read on Mac/PC, iPhone, iPad, Android by downloading the free Kindle app.
9. Think of the $8.00 price as a "donation" and the eBook as a thank you gift.
8. Introduces 2.5 new characters.
7. Was written with love, care, and much bogarting of the chronic.
6. By purchasing, your Soxaholix creepy insider bona fides will be cemented.
5. What would Lisa the Temp do?
4. Unlike public broadcasting, Soxaholix receives no government funding.
3. Think of it as "buying H.B. a drink."
2. Don't be like Timmy.
1. Your resplendence is real, is never silent and has no bitch.

Purchase at Amazon.

Comments

[Bob]

Purchased and read. (And enjoyed.)

"Jaba, I am your father."

[Rob in Ct, er, SA]

Proud to have cemented my bona fides last night, h.b. Great fun. Looking forward to more of Stan.

Congratulations!

[soxinsix]

Done and done. Nice job as always, hb.

And nice job by A-Gon in the Derby last night. What a great swing he has...just effortless.

[Kaz]

In "There's No Crying in Pocket Pool", the anonymous Hart Brachen (h.b.) sets the stage, quite literally, with a one act play that reads briskly but with fervor. At the heart of the story is "BigBri", a modern-day take on a Willie Loman-meets-Biff tragic hero living in his mother's basement in Cillicothe, MO. His trials and tribulations as an internet troll are borne out as words on a monitor screen. The only thing he desires most in life is that attention must be paid.

The only fault to be found within the digital pages of this offering is that the reader is left wanting to learn more about the bartender. h.b.'s masterpiece lends itself well to an evening of light reading. Available only on Kindle software everywhere.

[pseudosanity]

Best part? There are those among us who can never comment on it because then they would have to admit they bought it. HAHAHA!

[pseudosanity78]

Or at least supporting this site/readers/subject matter to some extent.

I reckon that slice of pie would taste awful sweet. But only if served alongside an ice cold Pepsi-cola. Amirite?

[soxoshanka]

Greatjob,h.b.!

[Natalie]

Loved the book, although I am sure it will just validate BigBri's opinion that we care more about him/Yanks than he/Yanks care about us, and by virtue of that, become even more insufferable. Although now it occurs to me (and maybe I am hopelessly naive and everyone knows this but me?), is BigBri real? Is he really well-done satire? I was recently fooled on Twitter by the brilliant peanutfreemom who turned out to be a send-up of the elitist helicopter mom and who was so welldone in caricature that I swallowed the hook whole and sent scathing comments her direction....

[Kaz]

Attention must be paid, Natalie! Attention must be paid!

[Bob]

Off topic, but I think the NFL lock-out must be ending very soon.

Just got an email from the Pats saying my season tickets are in the mail.

[Rudi]

OMG! I think, by accident, I have discovered HB's real identity!

I searched in amazon for "no crying in pocket pool" and it suggested: "No Use Crying" by
Big Mike and the Booty Papas from the album "Keep Your Hand Out My Pocket". See http://www.amazon.com/No-Use-Crying/dp/B0013PIM60/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1310481863&sr=8-1

Dan Brown would be proud. Remember, everything can be interpreted as an obscure clue. H.B. is obviously trying to leave us a trail to follow.

So there's just one question left. Is H.B. Big Mike or just one of the Booty Papas?

[Rob in Ct, er, SA]

Rudi - You hit on it! h.b. is actually a member of Opus Dei. His posts are actually veiled messages to his sleeper cells. Creepy, indeed!

Fuck Dan Brown. This is right out of Tom Clancy's wheelhouse.

[louclinton]

In Re: Lost

OK, now I understand Pablo and Nikki.

[pseudosanity78]

Seriously guys? No one even mentions Stephen King? The king of creepy *and* lover of the baseballs?
And you call yourself New Englanders! Pfffttt!

[Jim S]

the smashing on the CHB and the ST song reference are worth the price of admission.

I am part of the elite.. i bought and read it BEFORE you even linked it.. i SEARCHED amazon for that bad-boy... give everyone else a pink hat, damnit!

[Jim S]

the smashing on the CHB and the ST song reference are worth the price of admission.

I am part of the elite.. i bought and read it BEFORE you even linked it.. i SEARCHED amazon for that bad-boy... give everyone else a pink hat, damnit!

[Rob in Ct, er, SA]

Kaz - your review above needs to be posted to the Amazon website.

[Steve in MD]

hb, any way to get this on my brand new Barnes & Noble Nook?

[COD]

So the book costs as much as 1 MLB stadium beer? If that is a veiled reference to the possibility that HB will be drinking all the book revenues, than I for one am happy to contribute to HB's beer fund.

[Kaz]

Rob, It is done.

[ponch]

thanks for giving us another way to support you for all you give us here. heading off to amazon now.

[Scott]

When is the paperback edition going to be released? Planning on buying it with the cover missing at the used book store...

As soon as I download the PC application it will be purchased. Nice job h.b.

[h.b.]

So glad for all your purchasing and, even better, glad to hear that everyone seems to like the story.

It was fun to write it. The essence of the story had been floating in my head since last winter but I kept making tweaks here and there right up to the end.

[Rob in Ct, er, SA]

@Kaz - Well done sir. I'm #2.

[Jeff in NC]

Been busy this week with a wife's shattered right leg (my wife's to be specific). Fell off her horse incorrectly. Horses cause less damage when in burger form. But to the point...

Just spent and went thru $8. Warm, flat, bringing up visions of things I'd rather not vision,... HEY BEERMAN! (h.b., man) Get back over here! Got any more where that came from?

[Rob in Ct, er, SA]

Jeff - so sorry to hear about your wife's equine-induced accident. Here's hoping she's back in the saddle again real soon.

And I agree. More beerman in the strip, h.b. That's a full-bodied character with a good nose just waiting to be quaffed.

[Kaz]

ROB, WHO DOES #2 WORK FOR!?

That's right, you show that turd who's boss!

[da kine]

Suicidal Tendencies/Repo Man reference for the win.

[pseudosanity78]

If we all want to know who h.b. is we can just wait to watch the next game and look for someone with a sox shirt up over their head, 20 beers in front of them and gleefully doing the 'What what in the Butt' dance with their seat mates.

[Rob in Ct, er, SA]

Lol! Allow me to introduce my personal assistant, Alotta Fagina.

[cmdrflake]

TIMMY!

[sonomasox]

No spousal leg shattering but just too busy to look up. Glad to see the book in "print" - Congrats, HB. Looking forward to the purchase and read.

Go AL!

[Professional Hitter]

Congrats on the book, h.b. Speaking of books, Hitler was apparently on the Real Doll bandwagon long ago.

[Harwich Rich]

Gynoid? Is that anything like a Gonad?? ;O

[Harwich Rich]

Gynoid? Is that anything like a Gonad?? ;O

[ParkerStPete]

I'm glad to report that with my purchase "No Crying" leapt from 5,311 to 5,604 on the Kindle sales list. Wait...

[sonomasox]

Also glad to see that the physical and emotional turmoil HB went through to finish "No Crying" hasn't kept him from this all-star creepy site.

[Rob in Ct, er, SA]

Yeah, PSP, but it's #3 in Kindle ebook Baseball Essays & Writings, and #17 in Baseball Sports Books!

Take THAT Dan Brown. And you, too, Stan Daughnessy, you fucking hack!

[soxinsix]

Hmmm...the Hitler 'comforters' only came with blue eyes and blond hair...so the Master Race extended on down to sex toys. At least he was consistent.

[Jeff in NC]

Beating a dead horse, although not mine... The MASN announcers were so bad last week that I am grateful that Joe Buck will be doing the ASG. Its all relative.

[Lazlo Freem]

Happy to support the cause, HB. Now if my wife would only get the hint that I want the t-shirt for my birthday...

[Lazlo Freem]

"Brian! Brian!"
"He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy."

[h.b.]

Today's post can be found here: "Always consider the generic brand."

I want to leave the marketing page up as the default "main" for a bit longer.

Though the sales have exceeded my expectations. Thanks so so much!

[soxinsix]

No need to thank me at least, hb. I'm happy to give back after all the entertainment I've gotten through this creepy site over the years.

[Kev]

I was able to download the Kindle app on my iPod Touch and download the book that way as well. Now to find the time to read it...

[Louclinton]

Bought it. Read it. Loved it.

Lc

[sonomasox]

yep - what LC said.

Looking for that sunset over the sliced bread capital LC

[cmdrflake]

Creepy. It sounds like my dad (Mets degenerate, think 1986, think a war in our TV room)and I on a typical day while I am between bitches. He wants to blast SNY, the lamest sorry assed network in the world. Thank god he agrees with me re:YES. That psycho guy, VEERRRRY CREEPY!
Reminds me of a girl I did while Pedro was Pedey, i.e. the 1997-2003 days. Grady made me look smart. 'Nuf said. She might be practicing psych, how I have no idea, as she is a total Donald/Daffy (On her bettah days, Daffy, esp. in bed-WHEEE!!!)Duck class QUACK! Hell, she has slept with fans of That Team, The Mets and The Jays. One Sawx fan. Me.
The story is wonderful. It was very good with a cold Bud and Rush Limbaugh on audio stream. Keep on believeing in the SAWX!!!

[nfl]

Good article5688888

[louclinton]

You're Welcome

[Bob]

Nice, LC. But I think that's the wrong Chillocothe.

[ponch]

bought. read. loved. expects bonus points for knowing ST before the notes at end. also, I saw your mommy and your mommy's dead.

[LarryE]

Bought it. Am readsing it and have learned a lot. For example, I had been pronouncing BigBri as Big Bree. I now know differently. Also, h.b., on page (or screen) 30 or so, Terry calls Stan Dan. Was that a Freudian slip?

And while I am thoroughly enjoying it and was totally happy to "buy you a drink", h.b., as it were, part of me thinks it would have been just as enjoyable actually having a drink with you.

[soxdownunder]

Thanks LC.

Now for a deliberate, confused downunder, double post:
Fascinated to see that Bob's comment on Amazon was 'removed by author'. Which author? The author of the e-book? The author of the comment? Stephen Fucking King? WTF????

sdu