Summer Vacation 2014 (placeholder 02 for comments)

Your omniscient author in absentia:
My overlong, gratuitous vacation is still going. See you back here on or about July 7, 2014.

Keep your Sox on and keep your days creepy.

 

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Summer Vacation 2014 (placeholder for comments)

Your omniscient author in absentia:
My overlong, gratuitous vacation continues. See you back here on or about July 7, 2014.

Keep your Sox on and keep your days creepy.

 

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Summer Vacation 2014

Your omniscient author in absentia:
My overlong, gratuitous vacation has begun. See you back here on or about July 7, 2014.

Keep your Sox on and keep your days creepy.

 

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Life's handing them...

Al:
Happy Friday the 13th.

 

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Doug:
Happy 1 game win streak.

 

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Mike:
Happy 9 games back.

 

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Al:
I'm actually surprised it's only 9.

 

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Mike:
Yeah, it's good lemonade.

 

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Like Robinson Crusoe

Oh hai, it's your creepy author riding life's trolley...

 

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So I got to work super early at 6am to write strip and then dive straight into the pile of work that is the "all the crap one has to get to done before a multi-week vacation" and...

 

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At work I found no Internet, no phones, no digital communication of any sort.

 

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And it just now came back up. But now I'm already behind on the work pile so the strip is getting blown aside today... you know, kind of like Red Sox hitters facing Wei-Yin Chen.

 

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Beneath the blue

Bill:
I confess I was fully prepared to watch the bullpen squandah Workman's incredible staht.

 

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Doug:
And by "fully prepared" you, of course, mean that you'd have screamed to the television that "Nietzsche was right!" and then stormed off angrily to bed angry.

 

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Bill:
Precisely and where, if I was lucky, I'd dream I was a 1960s era dolphin shot up with LSD getting a handjob from a coquettish researchah.

 

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Doug:
And people wondah why we watch baseball?

 

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Playing out the string

Al:
Look, one day you'll be able to tell you great children exactly where you were during the famous 1-game winning streak of June 2014.

 

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Doug:
A moment frozen in time.

 

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Mike:
It's almost sad, but not really.

 

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Doug:
Yeah, it's sad in the "can't afford to buy multiple houses" Clinton sense.

 

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Al:
What difference does it make?

 

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Doug:
Exactly.

 

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Livin' is easy

Bill:
Look out world, here comes anothah winning streak.

 

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Doug:
Don't look now but there's still optimism out there.

 

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Bill:
Why not? It's June and we have a whole summah ahead of us.

 

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Doug:
Seriously, even if they ruin my summah they won't ruin my summah.

 

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Great bench coach, lousy manager, integral part of Red Sox lore...

Al:
Don Zimmer, January 17, 1931 – June 4, 2014

 

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Mike:
Zim said "NO NO NO!!!"

 

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Mike:
But the Grim Reapah heard "GO GO GO!!!"

 

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Doug:
Maya Angelou, Alice from the Brady Bunch, and now the Gerbil? How many more legends can we lose in a week?

 

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Al:
Well, if Zimmah has taught us anything, it's that sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches.

 

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If you want justice, go to a whorehouse

Bill:
So let me get this straight..

 

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Bill:
MLB suspends Workman 6 games and an undisclosed fine for throwing behind Longoria...

 

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Bill:
But Price more or less admits on national television that he intentionally drilled Papi in the fucking back because he's still pissed about Game 2 of the ALDS and gets zilch, nada, nothing?

 

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Doug:
Yeah, well, Obama just traded 5 hahdcore Al Qauda pricks for 1 American desertah.

 

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Bill:
Justice, ur not doin it rite.

 

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Doug:
Justice is way the fuck ovahrated.

 

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All's mediocre that ends mediocre

Mike:
Well, you didn't think that streak would go on forevah did you?

 

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Doug:
Hell, I didn't think that streak would go on to 3.

 

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Mike:
Reality: they score runs at an average rate and they give up runs at an average rate.

 

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Doug:
And as Pinto says, "That’s a good combination for a losing record."

 

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Mike:

 

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Doug:
.474. Quod erat demonstrandum.

 

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What a difference a week can make

Bill:
Well, this sure has been an interesting past 17 games.

 

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Bill:
A week back swept by the Rays for their 10th straight loss, and now sweeping the same Rays for their 7th straight win.

 

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Mike:
Which ties the all-time MLB record for most consecutive wins aftah a double-digit losing streak.

 

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Bill:
And I'm kinda optimistic about this Cecchini kid.

 

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Mike:
Seriously, if he can make a habit of plunking the Wall as a lefty, well, let's just say based on prior lefties with a similah bent, he could make a nice little career for himself.

 

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