"He's just such a class act..." blah blah blah blah puke

Bill:
So Derek Jetah is retiring...

 

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Doug:
Yeah, says he wants to staht a family...

 

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Bill:
And that sound you just heard was the colossal puckering of Big Bri's spinctah.

 

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Doug:
Meanwhile, Prepare yourself for 162 games of media sycophantism at the altah of Jetah.

 

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Bill:
Can you imagine if the Yankees somehow manage to make the postseason?

 

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Doug:
Tim McCahvah will have to come out of retirement just for the final chance to wash Jetah's balls on a national broadcast.

 

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Comments

[Primitive Screwhead]

Eh...
I will never be a fan but ya gotta admire Jeter's career. Hall of Fame, 5 rings, in the conversation for All Time Top 10 at the position, was up to his ears in the best tail NY and Hollywood could throw at him, never in the middle of off-field controversy and knows when to retire .

His last regular season game is at Fenway.
You know Fox or ESPN are gonna be all over that.
I'll be forced to watch with the sound off.

[Harwich Rich]

Too bad it's all pointless as he'll get injured in June and that will be that.Wah,wah,waaah!!

[COD]

I really can't gin up any hate for Jeter. Seems like the kind of player we'd love if he were a Red Sox.

[Bob]

He's too prissy to be a Red Sox. Prissy and aloof. Prissy, aloof and coddled.

[Harwich Rich]

Start a family? I hear Alex and his ceiling mural are free.

[Natalie]

I really like Jeter. He features prominently in my narrative of 2004, the turning point of which was the game where he dove into the stands and bloodied his face, while Nomar pouted in the dugout. A trade, some O-Cab, an epic Dirt Dog run.... Bliss. That said, you are correct--- the amount of ball washing that's going to happen is staggering to contemplate. I live in NYC. I am sure they will do something to the fucking Empire State Building and have a parade or some nonsense....

[Cmdrflake]

The figure I can measure Jeter by is DiMaggio, tho' I have to go on my Dad's opinion that Number 5 center fielder Joe DiMaggio is by far and away the model for Number two Shortstop Derek Jeter, but just that. He is not in DiMaggio's class at bat, but Jeter is better on defense. But where is Jeter's younger brother (and Ballgame's fishing partner) Dom?

[W8r]

Dare ick geedah ..clap clap clapclapclap..ugh, all season long.

[Harwich Rich]

Remember to wear teal,Nat. ;D

[buckner was framed]

I have to say I'm a little intrigued by the timing of it all. Is it really an accident that he will never play again with A-Rod? (at least on the diamond anyway)

I'm thinking this is purposeful, and good for him

[lc]

Jeter is numbah two. go figure.
lc

[yazbread]

Jeets vs. the Big Dago. 200 words or less.

[Cmdrflake]

200 words or less, huh? Number 5 MARRIED MARILYN MONROE! Granted, that didn't last, nothing on either of them. No way Jeter can ever top that. And then there's that thing about 56 straight games with a hit for whatever that's worth. (42)

[Chairman Meow]

I can say that I have done the hottest of my species. Take that, number two. "Remember your place!"-Dr. Evil

[dustbunny44]

The never-ending Mariano Rivera farewell tour paved the way for whatever happens this year with Jeter, over and over again. The good news is we have all season to consider an appropriate bye-bye-gift at Fenway. I offer for consideration a gold-plated box set of the 2004 championship DVDs.

[Harwich Rich]

The Mo lovefest I could tolerate(barely) Jeter??-Meh

[LazloFreem]

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

[Bob]

Just give him one of his own "parting gift" bags he bestows upon his conquests the morning after.

[Harwich Rich]

Did he autograph one of his balls??

[Bob]

Yes. And one of his baseballs, too. As well as giving out pics, perfume, candy and such. Oh, and a waiver form.

[Don in NH]

I wonder whether Jeter's retirement will retire one the the best comment-handles on this site: "Past a diving Jeter"? Don

[buckner was framed]

"Waiver? I barely knew her!"

[yazbread]

Goodnight John Boy.

[pabloinnh]

Well, Bob's observations about parting gifts are my own. Kind of puts the "ass" in "classy".

[COD]

About Jeter's dive in 2004. He caught the ball in foul territory with both feet planted firmly on the ground. He didn't have space to stop so he had to fall into the stands.

Technically, it was not a diving catch and not nearly as great a play as the media made it out to be.

[yazbread]

After which, Nomar, pouting on the bench because he was pissed at $60M over 4 years, promptly informed Francona that he was available to go into the game. As Natalie said yesterday, it was the turning point.

[Bob]

Well, I've got to range 3 feet to my left for a meeting.

Have a great weekend all. Hopefully we'll have something fun to yak about on Monday.

[soxdownunder]

Jeter schmeter
Classy? Schmassy.
Fuck him.
sdu

[SonomaSox]

What SDU said.

[Harwich Rich]

So we have a quorum then.

[Kaz]

Jeter causes snow storms.

[h.b.]

*** Update Monday 2/17 ***

Absolutely crushed by what I think is allergies (though could be a cold).

No strip today.

[Bob]

I'll probably have a cold in a couple of days. Thanks to that woman on the train who insisted on coughing directly in my face without covering her mouth. About 20 times.

[Chairman Meow]

I do not have that issue, as I am a superior being.
My butler has been watching NASCAR. For crying out loud, why, I ask.

[COD]

The only time I left the couch all damn weekend was to go to bed. Still not ever whatever crud is causing a low grade fever and cough.

In other news, Dempster walks away from a guaranteed $13 million contract. I can't decide if that is classy, or stupid.

[Bill in Cambridge (MD)]

Just pure classy.

I earned much less, but it was still a respectable $500K+. I got rear-ended and suffered head trauma and my speeches (I'm a speaker) became just average. I wasn't being paid to be just average.

Sox fans should hold Dempster in high-esteem for his decision.

[Bill in Cambridge (MD)]

P.S. I left out that I also walked away as I "didn't have my best stuff" any more.