The Merriest of Merry Christmases

Hart Brachen:
So our long Soxaholix nightmare is finally over....

 

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Hart Brachen:
I found BigBri.

 

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Hart Brachen:
"When I'm not talking up Obamacare and drinking hot chocolate, I let Derek Jeter rest his balls on my chin."

 

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Hart Brachen:
Meanwhile, 3 World Series with essentially 3 completely different rosters in 10 seasons...

 

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Hart Brachen:
If you're scoring that at home it beats 10 Lords a Leaping
9 Ladies Dancing
8 Maids a Milking
7 Swans a Swimming
6 Geese a Laying
5 Golden Rings
4 Calling Birds
3 French Hens
2 Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
in terms of gifts.

 

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Hart Brachen:
So to the surly and the lovable, the curmudgeonly and the affable, the creepy and the invisible, the salty and the tealdorable, the funny and the reliable...

To all of you Soxaholix I wish a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

 

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Hart Brachen:
See you back here on or about January 2nd.

 

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Comments

[Bob]

Season's Greetings to all the creepy folks who inhabit this corner of HB's workshop.

We have our company holiday party today (Mama Maria's again). So have a great weekend all. Hopefully we'll have something fun to yak about on Monday. Or Thursday the 2nd.

[Bob]

Oh, and Merry Christmas to HB. Without him delivering us a toy everyday, we'd be resigned to having Krampus beat our asses with birch switches. (As BigBri sighs at the thought.)

[Natalie]

Merry merry and happy new, hb and all the creepsters. Thanks for making this the first place I visit each morning. Life wouldn't be as fun without you. Now... on to Truck Day!

[COD]

Merry Christmas and Happy Festivus (it is today!) to all the creeps in this dark corner of the Internet.

[Cmdrflake]

Brothers and sisters in creepiness I wish thee all well. Now, for the airing of grievances around the festivus pole, to be followed by the test of strength.

[ponch]

Enjoy the season, fellow creeps. Thanks to HB for going above and beyond this year.

And I'm not sure that's BigBri, he usually has to wear a hat because Mom won't turn up the heat in the basement.

[Rudi]

"tealdorable", an early Christmas present from HB!

I now believe I will nap while visions of tealdorableness (and 3 World Series Championships) dance in my head.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a "Shut up and sit down unless you're gett'n me a beer". See you next year.

[RedStripeNan]

Best holiday greetings to all the creeps worldwide and special thanks to h.b. Without this, would the Sox have won?

L.C., let us know when your recap poem is ready!

[SoCalBoSoxFan]

MERRY CHRISTMAS CREEPS!

The first thing I do when I get to work is read Soxaholix. Today is our last day of work until Jan 2nd. this holiday shut down works great for me. See you next year.

Thanks for everything HB!

[Chops]

BigBri a little later... http://blog.heritage.org/wp-content/uploads/ofafun_7.jpg

[David Pinto]

Merry Christmas, and thanks for all the laughs!

[Go Sox, Go Heels, etc.]

Happy Holidays everybody! My wife created a "pub quiz" style trivia thing for her office party. I admonished her for not having a "name that Red Sox beard" section. But she did have "which of these Christmas songs was not written by a Jewish songwriter?". So there you have it.

[Chairman Meow]

Why, I must ask are you humans sponsoring a holiday around the shortest day of the year? I suggest it be called "Hibernation Day", where sleeping in is encouraged.

[yazbread]

It was a fantastic year. Far better than we all anticipated. Only about 3 months until the preseason prediction poll fires up again. Probably no one predicting less than 98 wins. Thanks to all for the constantly amusing entertainment. Happy Holidays.

[soxdownunder]

And also with you.

sdu

[Primitive Screwhead]

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to you too h.b. and fellow Soxaholix

[jar in chicago]

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to every one of the creepies.

[JimLoomis]

Mele Kalikimaka ia oe from Maui.

[rm]

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year HB and the Soxaholix posters and lurkers. Hope the visions of 3 world series rings continue to dance in your heads all season long.

[louclinton]

pax vobiscum, y'all.

lc

as far as the stupid poem goes. 24th, I'd say. shit don't write itself.

[Kaz]

Axial tilt is the reason for the season!

[dustbunny44]

Merry Christmas to HB and all the holix. Thanks for providing a needed, useful, satisfying atmosphere-like essence, nearly every day, to another stellar Red Sox year.

[Bob]

I'm at work. Why? Why am I at work?

[soxinsix]

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my fellow creepsters. What a year. Never did I think it would end up where it did going into the season, (post-Veet and all) but I loved this team and can't wait for spring training. Thanks to you all for the daily camaraderie and thanks especially to hb for keeping on keeping on. You're the best!

[Steve in MD]

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to All, creeps and lurkers alike!

[SAC]

Queued at BJs. Buying THE Fruitcake. Checkout clerk in next aisle thrusting paper my way. "What?" It's a $5 coupon. For my fruitcake. Nuttiness is loveliness. Thank you. God bless us Red Sox Nation.

[SonomaSox]

Happy, Merry, Awesomeness to All. Fantastic, wonderfully surprising year made even better with the best, creepiest, fucking site on the interwebs.

Papi bless each and every one of you.

[vancouversoxfan]

Joyeux Noel, mes amis Americains...(Hopefully my HS French did not fail me)

[buckner was framed]

Merry Christmas creeps, and thanks hb for providing the water cooler for another year, May you all find peace, harmony and a little something under the mistletoe (or wherever else you may be lurking)

[louclinton]

(Apologies, as usual to Roger Angell)

Greetings, Friends.
Pull up a chair.
Our World Series Cup
Ain't goin' nowhere.
Each year, at this time
We reflect and we rhyme,
Thinking back on theyear
(Sometimes it's a whine)

But this year?
"Why No", I declare
The Big One
Materialized from out of thin air.
Last year, it was Veets
Go ahead, look it up.
And we bitched and I moaned
And slopped rum from a cup.

But this year, sweet Yeezus,
What a glorious time,
It was frightening, it was scary,
It was never sublime.

On Ellsbury, On Lackey
Ross, Oki and Drew
Where do we stop?
Hanranhan, too?
No, let's don't get excited,
Forget Andrew Miller
Invoke Mike Napoli
Ver-Sher-Fister Killer

And what did my wondering eyes did appear?
Big Papi, well into his forty-ninth year.
"This is our fucking city'
He cried in the Spring
Maybe so, but it's all His when the Fall colors sing.

Bow down to The Ortiz
That's it. No rhyme here.
We've never seen anything like it.
Thanks, David.

Ben Cherrington,
He of the Theo-like sound
Plays the numbers,
But rolls dice when Bill's not around.
That James for you newbies,
Most stay down on the farm
But Bogaerts, and Jackie
Will come arm and arm
To the Big Leagues, Our Team
And the broad Fenway Green.
Strong Up the middle,
Unlike The Empire's Team
Hello, Brian Roberts.
Goodbye Rob Canoe.
Sure, they've got Ellsbury
20 million a throw.

No need to be bitter,
No need to be crass.
The Yankees can chew on
My right hindmost ass.

That was a slip,
I have nothing but love,
But 300 million
Should buy you a glove.

Shane Victorino,
The Flyin' Hawaiian
Singlehandedly made
Bob Marley current again.

Mike Carp with his neckbeard
Salty tried ,too.
But the most godawful lettuce
What sported by who?
It's a tie. Naps and Gomes.
Who would be in THAT fight?
Hey buddy can somebody give me a light?

In fields here and there.
Non-baseball was played
Raise a cup for Ed Snowden.
Oh hai! NSA!

But back to our beisbol,
Did I mention the Series?
I thought so. We won.
So there's that.

Not even a chance with a rhyme
From that last one.
But the Sox won the World Series
So there's that.

John Farrell, Juan Nieves
Castig, Obie, too.
We never stray far from the
Words of that crew.
Since I'm feeling gen'rous
Call out to Merloni
John Rish and John Ryder
Third Mike Broni.

A year end salutation
Would not be complete
Without a big shout out to
People we meet.
First and foremost, hb,
The leader of the crew.
Without him, we'd be posting
On Sox.edu.

Rich, Nat, and Buck
Jfm and Kaz too.
SDU, whom I met
And who bought me a brew. (It was two)
Listing names can be trouble
I'll leave out a few.
Or a hundred,
I'm through.
Who knew?

Let's step and look fondly
On Twenty-13.
Be honest, you never saw
This in a dream.

We'll pause and consider
We'll never forget...
How to sync EEI
With a Fox TV set.

The year was a gift,
And the players were great
Now let's try to go
154 and 8.

To your families, and your friends,
Good joy, health and cheer,
From you surly, irascible
Old Pal, LC.

Happy Holidays.

See you in the Series.

lc

[Steve in MD]

With apologies to Frederic Austin and Mrs. Steve in MD:

On the first month after 2012,
My true loves gave to me,
A boot to Bobby Vee.

On the second month after 2012,
My true loves gave to me,
Shane Victorino, and a boot to Bobby Vee.

On the third month after 2012,
My true loves gave to me,
Mike Napoli, Shane Victorino, and a boot to Bobby Vee.

On the fourth month after 2012,
My true loves gave to me,
Truck Day, Mike Napoli, Shane Victorino, and a boot to Bobby Vee.

On the fifth month after 2012,
My true loves gave to me,
BEARDS, Mike Napoli, Shane Victorino, and a boot to Bobby Vee.

On the sixth month after 2012,
My true loves gave to me,
BRIB!, BEARDS, Mike Napoli, Shane Victorino, and a boot to Bobby Vee.

On the seventh month after 2012,
My true loves gave to me,
Buchy’s golden start, BRIB!, BEARDS, Mike Napoli, Shane Victorino, and a boot to Bobby Vee.

On the eight month after 2012,
My true loves gave to me,
Koji closing, Buchy’s golden start, BRIB!, BEARDS, Mike Napoli, Shane Victorino, and a boot to Bobby Vee.

On the ninth month after 2012,
My true loves gave to me,
Jake Peavy, Koji closing, Buchy’s golden start, BRIB!, BEARDS, Mike Napoli, Shane Victorino, and a boot to Bobby Vee.

On the tenth month after 2012,
My true loves gave to me,
A 4-2 trip to California, Jake Peavy, Koji closing, Buchy’s golden start, BRIB!, BEARDS, Mike Napoli, Shane Victorino, and a boot to Bobby Vee.

On the eleventh month after 2012,
My true loves gave to me,
Yankees playing golf, a 4-2 trip to California, Jake Peavy, Koji closing, Buchy’s golden start, BRIB!, BEARDS, Mike Napoli, Shane Victorino, and a boot to Bobby Vee.

On the twelfth month after 2012,
My true loves gave to me,
World Series Rings, Yankees playing golf, a 4-2 trip to California, Jake Peavy, Koji closing, Buchy’s golden start, BRIB!, BEARDS, Mike Napoli, Shane Victorino, and a boot to Bobby Vee.

[Harwich Rich]

Well,after all that what's left to say but peace be with you all. Oh,and good job LC and Steve.

[soxdownunder]

Nice work, lc. And also Steven in MD.

Merry Christmas from a drizzly warm Sydney. (2 more sleeps Tokyo and on to Hakuba … yay)

[vancouversoxfan]

Well played LC and Steve in MD...and as always HB

[Bob]

Wow. Nice work LC. And Steve.

I got a Real Doll for Christmas. Unfortunately, it's modeled after Rea Perlman. But still.

[soxinsix]

Always look forward to LC's year-end wrap up poetry, and Steve joins in for good measure? Nice job out of both of you!!

[Steve in MD]

Thanks all.

@Bob, that's a image I didn't want stuck in my brain!

[Steve in MD]

@Bob, Mrs Steve in MD says "it could be worse... It could've been Suzy Waldman!"

[louclinton]

Each year is better than the next.

lc

[Bob]

//Evelyn Lozada, who was engaged to ex-Celtic Antoine Walker and married to ex-Patriot Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson is now engaged and having a baby with ex-Red Sox whiner Carl Crawford.//

[COD]

Santa brought me a book / DVD combo on the history of Fenway, and Ben Bradlee's new 800 page tome on Ted Williams. Hopefully I can finish the book before next Christmas.

[soxinsix]

Bob, seriously? Wonder who she has lined up on the Bruins for her next conquest

[buckner was framed]

six, kwityerbitchin. The Bruins need someone who can score. Even into an empty net ;-)

[Bob]

Yeah, it's true. I'd guess she would have gone after Seguin, but now it'll probably be Chara. Because he has huge feet.

[buckner was framed]

Hey the Bruins could use someone who can score. Even if it IS into an empty net

[Bob]

Okay, off to the optometrist to empty out the rest of my Flexible Spending Account. LOTS of contacts coming.

Have a great weekend all. Hopefully we'll have something to yak about on Monday. Or January 2nd.

[Harwich Rich]

Could be worse,Bob-You could have gotten the Danny DeVito model. ;O

[Steve in MD]

Happy New Year to all the Soxaholix!

[Natalie]

Yes, Happy New Year, creepsters! Here's to a 2014 as good as 2013, at least Sox/Soxaholix-wise. :)

[Cmdrflake]

Happy New Year, creepy people from a guy who marked the occasion watching classic Looney Tunes, sipping JW Black, while a cat and his "daughter" looked on in wonderment. Cheers!

[Bob]

The 2nd of January. The worst day of the year. Ug.

[Chairman Meow]

As an indoor being, why do you humans venture out into ungodly cold, wet and generally awful weather for no good reason, like dumping what you call trash in a container or something. It makes no sense to me.

[Cmdrflake]

Looks like it may be time for hb's extended break or could this be it? AP: Boston closes down. You started something, there...or is my boss reflecting a trend I am not aware of?

[Bob]

Hey, guess what? I'm at the office, and the office is closed for snow. Would have been nice if somebody told me. Oh well, maybe I can actually get some work done.

[h.b.]

Meanwhile, apologies to all but I've got nothing.

Too cold for brain to function.

It's going to be a slow offseason I suspect.

[Bob]

Okay everybody, have a great weekend. Hopefully we'll have something fun to yak about on Monday. Or whenever HB can warm up a little.

[Harwich Rich]

I'm gonna take some time off ;O