« Next year Henry's gonna swell the gourd, ok? | Main | You know I'm running out of things to say, right? »

On a stick

I've entered some bizarro bearded-Spock world where I'm actually disappointed when the Red Sox win...


I mean what's the friggin point? Let's dive straight for the bottom and create something memorable, you know?


Yeah, it's hahd to root for happenstance, isn't it?


Seriously, if I staht getting excited about coincidence I may as well staht rooting for the heads rolling down the steps of Chichen Itza and the resultant bountiful hahvest the corn god will repay us for the humble offering of heads.


The corn god hates us.


And the corn dog as well.



Do I root for the O's and that douche bag manager? Better than rooting for the Skanks.

In the dwindling days of the season all I have left is schadenfruede : mfy blow ten game lead and fall into tie for first with the O's - who are now giving away tickets to reach the 11,000 mark for game attendance.

If a team wins a late game on the west coast and no one is watching, does it really count?

In honor of the corn god, a 1970s commercial featuring a young Elizabeth warren.


I bet even this guy eating a corn dog outside the corn palace hates us.

I didn't know Elizabeth Warren was Jacoby's mother!

Maize hates us too

So the rebuilding starts with a trade for Guillermo Quiroz, a career .187 hitter. That ought to prop up 2013 season ticket sales!

Don't knock the Corn Palace until you have been to Mitchell.

If Natalie's bus is going cross country it should stop at the Corn Palace. The murals that they make with the different varieties of corn and the coloring of the kernels is pretty cool. I was quite A-MAIZE-D :).

The corn gods are doing a lot of hating on the folks in the midwest too.

I too was a bit bummed to see that the sox won last night. though the pessimist in me is convinced that we have one more year of Veet. :(.

Here's the route of the bus. Mitchell to Deadwood to Rapid City to the Little Big Horn Battlefield. Americana at its finest.

Don't forget to stop at Wall Drug!

I'm a Nationals fan for the rest of this season.

Well...I'll probably feel otherwise tomorrow but: Jesus jumping mother of god boys and girls, but we are become the enemy. When I was a kid, I'd listen to baseball on the radio (yup, older than l.c.) and it is still my favorite way. Didn't know, didn't care, didn't f-ing matter if these players were flawed. It was fun; it was majicke. And then somehow, somewhere along the line Paris Hilton won and everyone wanted to know EVRYTHING about all our celebs. Why am I hating on my fomer favorite gritty, dirtbag midget second baseman? Because it turns out he's a whiny prima donna, that's why. But he still dives for balls and makes tough throws; he still hangs in there while someone twice his weight tries to take him out and the bag. He's a great ball player and he's on MY team. But the fun is (almost?) gone. Shit.
So, peeps, let us have the courage to go all the way to where we really want to be. If the Sox are heading for the pit, we can as well. Turn off ESPN and NESN. There's a really good Entertainment Tonight on. Have you seen the latest Paris Hilton crotch shots?

//Have you seen the latest Paris Hilton crotch shots?//

Link please.

Paris Hilton crotch shots? O...k..The best ones I ever saw were in an episode of "South Park", when Butters was touching her, after she'd passed out. Now, THERE'S SICK!
Wasted my time going to a follow up about a job I'm sure to hate. I felt some empathy for Veets, but I just stared at the bitch in the Jeter T, and wondered how I could provide support for her tits, which needed support. She is someone I'd like to shoot verbal daggers at, while telling her the Skanks are doing in 2012, what the Dead Sox did in 2011. But, she saw her father in me, and If she could think, she probably wrote me off as too old for the job. she'll give it to another NYY fan, who is in his '20's, and equally brain dead.

Kiddies - you ain't lived until you've been to the South Dakota state HS wrestling finals at the Corn Palace in Mitchell. And Wall Drug is the schnitz! yazbread, you are are a sophisticated and erudite man of ther world for knowing these things.

And the bus ought to stop at Devil's Tower before heading up to the ND Badlands on that Grand Loop tour. You'll never see an eerier sight than midnight in the Badlands with open veins of lignite coal set afire by lightening blazing off the side of a mesa. The Lacota Sioux believe those fires are the campfires from the ghosts of Red Sox past. Teddy Ballgame and Johnny Pesky haunt that broken ground today. The Shaman says their spirits are not happy.

Following urm rant.. Players say all the time that they dont have this kind of media scrutiny in other towns (excepting Ny of course). Boston is not a larger city than Chicago or LA or fillintheblank. So the question is, why? And this question goes far beyond baseball. Are we truly interested in this trivial unsubstantive crap, and therefore we are supplied with what we want? Or does the 4th estate just think we are, so they present what they think we want and like dogs, we cant pass a turd or crotch without sniffing at it?

My explanation. Multiple generations of sports writers trying to outdo Dave Egan.

The best part of that clip is the fact that it appeared during the Paul Lynde Halloween Special.

As for age, I actually knew Eliabeth Warren before she was a NA.

Ok, as you can see, I have nothing.


I personally don't care about Paris Hilton's twat, but I do care that the whiny millionaires who play a kid's game at least give a damn a try. And in exchange for the fact that I am paying the highest prices in MLB I expect them to appreciate the fact that people like Johnny Pesky, who had more character in his spit than they do in their whole bodies, played and stuck around it for the love of the game and nothing more. They have been coddled and told they are the balls their whole life and don't understand when someone holds them accountable and expects them to actually earn their salary. Yo, Adrian- that means sometimes you have to play on Sunday nights. On national TV. Yes that applies to a certain whiny 2B too. They are damned lucky to be able to do what they do to feed their families. Too often they forget that. I actually think the Boston media has been too lenient on these losers. They've been caught napping (the media, not just Veet) a couple of times this year. STFU and play the game the way it's supposed to be played- with respect

Is Valentine reading this creepy strip?


The comments to this entry are closed.

The Soxaholix eBook Spinoff

The captivating and long awaited Soxaholix eBook spinoff is finally available!

There's No Crying in Pocket Pool


Purchase at Amazon.


Logo t-shirts now available, several colors, even pink.

'Soxaholix logo t-shirt