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In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
No surprise that Cherington would back away from his previous comments.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
Being bold, assertive, and walking with "I'm in charge here, bitches" isn't really in his m.o. is it?
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
And we wouldn't want to hurt Bobby Valentine's feelings or anything.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
But here's my two cents...
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
If Cherington is going "to spend less time on" the managerial search, let's no skimp on the due diligence either.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
Right, of course, Ted, somebody who is saberemetrically inclined is a must...
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
Because for that guy, well, the future is all kinds of fucked up.
Your omniscient author in absentia:
UPDATE: Tuesday, 9/25
(staying in hotel)
plus
(routine disrupted)
plus
(general apathy towards the Red Sox that began a year ago September)
equals
I got nothing today.
Your omniscient author in absentia:
Sorry for the late notice on this...
We are having some restoration work done to Chateau Brachen which entails moving out for the week and taking up residence in a hotel.
I'd thought I could spit out a strip this morning, but, alas, I'm running behind trying to get everything in order before the contractors arrive.
I should be able to get into a normal schedule tomorrow.
And it's "sub .500 Fridays" until next April…
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
So keep this on the down low for now...
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
But I'm thinking about changing temp agencies.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
Besides, I know she's been a real regular around here, but, brass tacks, I've always thought Lisa the Temp was kind of a bitch.
Two guys walking, no words exchanged:
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Two guys walking, short guy speaks:
So...
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Two guys walking, short guy speaks:
What do you think?
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Two guys walking, no words exchanged:
Two guys walking, tall guy speaks:
I think that if a lion could talk, we could not understand him.
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Two guys walking, no words exchanged:
Wittgenstein?
Two guys walking, tall guy speaks:
The one and only.
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Two guys walking, short guy speaks:
Philosophy is not a theory but an activity.
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Two guys walking, no words exchanged:
Two guys walking, tall guy speaks:
Just like walking.
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Doug:
Hey, look, the Red Sox are playing "Romneyball."
Bill:
Meanwhile, at this point I think the best we can hope for is the Red Sox looks like the ending 2012 with a "47%" winning percentage.
Doug:
Yep followed by an offseason of "Cash for Clunkahs."
Your creepy author is unavailable today, so I give you Lisa the Temp …
Lisa the Temp:
Did you miss me, peeps?
Lisa the Temp:
Oh, I've been around.
Lisa the Temp:
You know, hiding in plain sight and all.
Lisa the Temp:
You probably walked right past me and didn't notice me here OP extraordinaire keeping the griefers at bay.
Lisa the Temp:
It's called extrapolation, peeps. Discuss amongst yourselves.
Mike:
OK, OK, we can all relax now because the cunning Red Sox ownahship has found a way to end this dismal of all dismal seasons on a veritable high note...
Mike:
Yes, Ladies & Gentlemen, Boys & Girls, the Red Sox will honor the 2004 World Series champion team and unveil an all-time Fenway Park team during the final two home games of the regular season against the Tampa Bay Rays on Tuesday, Sept. 25 and Wednesday, Sept. 26.
Mike:
So quit yer bitchin.
Al:
So this is an 8 year anniversary honoring the 2004 club rathah than the traditional 10?
Doug:
10 year anniversaries are way the fuck overrated.
Mike:
Yeah, nobody does 10 year anniversaries anymore because they're way too populah.
Doug:
I do think at a certain point you've waited long enough.
Let me be clear, eight is enough.
Mike:
Are you kidding me, Lucchino is bringing octal back... this is going to be the most important 8 since the Beatles released Eight Days a Week.
Al:
Let's face it, we all know that when the Roman army conquered a village, if rathah than practicing decimation they'd instead gone with octimation, well, we'd all be speaking Latin today.
Mike:
Vero nihil verius, bitches.
Another below .500 Friday finds this group of ne'er-do-wells gathered for an "un-strip" …
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
So it looks like that not only did U.S. get warnings about the attack on the Benghazi consulate but also that the mob stole from a safe house a list of Libyans friendly to America.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
Or as I like to put it, yet another Romney gaffe!
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
This Romney d.b. is like the worst president ever.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
Oh, and if you haven't heard, the Red Sox are are being sold to Bain Capital.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
Now that means, of course, that Ted here is going to get cancer of the balls.
Mike:
That's the thing about decay, there's a slippery slope between an exquisitely, molding Roquefort and casu marzu.
Mike:
Yeah, Bobby Valentine also thinks of himself a managerial savant for getting rid of Youkilis because, you know, "Kevin was hitting .238 with Boston and now he's hitting .238 with the White Sox."
Doug:
What a stupid fucking twat that guy is.
Doug:
Like I said, what a stupid fucking twat.
Mike:
If they bring him back, mahk my words: The Red Sox will be in a cryogenically frozen state to me that will not thaw out until Valentine is gone.
Doug:
If feels fucking great.
Al:
Yeah, now I finally know what it's like to by Taylor Swift crashing a Kennedy beach picnic.
Doug:
Are you kidding me? I feel like an Egyptian spoiling the solemnity of the 9/11 Anniversary.
Mike:
Hey, nobody puts the bearded prophet in the cornah!
Mike:
Well, except for Jesus. You can a likeness of him in a jar of piss and put it in a cornah and that's totally cool.
Doug:
But that's the nature of Jesus, he's tough like that...
Doug:
I mean think about it—you can nail Jesus to a wooden cross, torture him, crucify him, whatever, and a couple days latah, "Whooop, there he is!"
Al:
That's because Jesus is the Chuck Norris of Gods. He scoffs at your puniness.
Mike:
I dunno that Kali seems pretty tough too.
Al:
Kali vs Jesus, no holds barred, including multiple holds with multiple ahms.
Doug:
Wait a second, Kali? Are you friggin kidding me? If I'm Jesus' people I'm all "Who has she faced?"
Doug:
Let's see what Kali does against Ditka, then we'll talk.
Mike:
So not only are we now in an end of season spiral so dismal that, impossible as it is to imagine, makes the Epic Septembah Collpase of 2011 seem "meh" but it's also the 11 year anniversary of 9/11...
Doug:
Maybe, hug dude, can come through the Red Sox clubhouse.
Mike:
Hey, that idea's no worse than when Cody Ross suggested that somehow "the presence of a contending team in the third base dugout could prod the Sox into playing better."
Doug:
It'll be about as effective as taking a eunuch to strip club.
Mike:
Yeah, watching these guys against the Yankees is gonna be like listening to a castrato doing an album of Barry White covahs.
Mike:
At this point, is it a stretch to think this team can break the 70 win threshold?
Susan/Circle:
At this point, just making it anothah day seems a stretch.
Susan/Circle:
Your choice.
Mike:
How did we get here?
Susan/Circle:
I think we took a wrong turn at Terror St. and Agony Way.
Mike:
Hooray say the roses, today is blamesday.*
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
I mean, look, sure the wins and losses, the ERA, the OBP, pretty much everything isn't where we wanted it to be.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
But you've got to give Bobby Valentine an "incomplete." He just needs a few more years to turn things around.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
And you've got to consider how much worse it would be if not for Bobby V's brilliance.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
Brass tacks: He inherited a mess, the worst collapse since the 20s.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
No manager, no manager — not Casey Stengal not Connie Mack, no one, could have repaired all the damage he found in just one year.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
But he has laid the foundation for a new, modern, successful club, of shared prosperity, and if you renew Valentine's contract you will feel it. You will feel it.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
Look, are we all better off because Bobby Valentine fought for comprehensive clubhouse reform like banning beer? You bet we are.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
You know what I love? I love that we can trust Bobby to do what he says he is going to do, even when it is hard, especially when it's hard.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
Bobby reminds me that we are playing a long game here, and that change is hard, and change is slow and never happens all at once, but eventually we get there, we always do.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
And if you don't agree with me, well, then you're a racist and a Nazi.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
And you hate women.
In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
I'm looking at you, Ted.
Doug:
It would have been bettah if told Ordway, "You know I invented the knuckle wrap sandwich, right? You wants?"
Bill:
He should have said the whole thing in Japanese.
Doug:
And with big anime eyes.
Bill:
I've entered some bizarro bearded-Spock world where I'm actually disappointed when the Red Sox win...
Bill:
I mean what's the friggin point? Let's dive straight for the bottom and create something memorable, you know?
Mike:
Yeah, it's hahd to root for happenstance, isn't it?
Bill:
Seriously, if I staht getting excited about coincidence I may as well staht rooting for the heads rolling down the steps of Chichen Itza and the resultant bountiful hahvest the corn god will repay us for the humble offering of heads.
Mike:
The corn god hates us.
Bill:
And the corn dog as well.
Al:
Well, unlike my white linen trousahs, Bobby Valentine is still with us aftah Labah Day.
Mike:
Maybe while he was out there, John Henry wanted to drop in on Billy Beane and get his opinion on some fall scarves.
Al:
Hey, don't you fucking worry about John Henry. Dude's got it all figured out.
