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The imagination sleeps

Your creepy author's existential crisis has spread to the creepy characters …

Bill (thinking to himself):
The Red Sox died today.


Bill (thinking to himself):
Or maybe yesterday; I can't be sure.


Bill (thinking to himself):
Do not wait for the Last Judgment.


Bill (thinking to himself):
It takes place every day.



I wonder if the Red Sox who weren't traded feel "left behind."

Boom. Boom. Two more valiant contenders depart the games. Rola and Yossarian, each predicting 94 wins, now look forward to the hot stove league. Or Pats.

is it ovah yet?

the sawx died today. or maybe it was yesterday. the report was not clear, only said: "sawks suck, condolences."

Not even remotely kidding: let's burn the muthafucka down. Who's next? Let's put 'em all on waivers, release the ones we can't trade, get rid of every last fucking one of them, right down to the ballboy. Send Veet and his unbearable smugness of being back to Japan. At the very least, the flames will warm the chill in my soul this team has left. Let's start 2013 from scorched earth, like the phoenix.

Wow, Natalie. Your last two sentances are poetry. Really. Not that I entirely agree, but poetry nonetheless. Well done.

Who was that guy on the mound doing a great Beckett impersonation last night?

We did notice that HB's having a bad week, right? Hope your ship rights itself soon boss. Wish I could offer some proven advice.

In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to the American Heart Association. They sure need one.

Buck up HB. With the below 500 record and a national holiday on Monday, you've got 4 Red Sox free days to look forward to.

A friend showed me this some time ago... Go to youtube and search "fly in the mouth". Watch the video. Laugh. If you have seen this before, watch it again, and it will still make you laugh. It has nothing whatsoever to do with the redsox.

I liked the cute puppy photo on BDD


I didn't like the words that followed :(. I don't like it when my favorite, scrappy, underdog-ish 2nd baseman comes across as a whiny diva.

Not really following baseball at all anymore except to see if the pittsburgh pirates can get to the playoffs. That would be a "feel good story".

Unfortunately, I think ownership has more smugness than Veet and maybe in 2014 we can rise from the ashes.

See yer next yeah. I do admit I feared the Sox would morph back into their true selves in the dark ages (1951-1966, 1978-85, 1993-2002) when the Yawkey Mob ran this team. It is a model seen in too many NFL, NBA and MLB teams. I won't embarrass the likes of the Bills, Raiders, Bengals, Jaguires, Da Bears, Cardinals, The Lions, whose success is a mirage, and the vast crowd of permanently mediocre NBA teams, as in everyone except the C's, Lakers and Heat. All the rest? Fuhgedaboudit.
I enjoy ineptitude if it suits me. Think Noo Yowak Knix, Da Mets, the Rangers, Leafs, Devvils, and the Cowturds. Well, its time for me to concede. No way this team wins 81.

I'm possibly coming out of my funk... only time will tell.

Meanwhile, no strip tomorrow considering the under .500 rule unless I give you the group with the smug chick talking. We'll see how it goes.

Hey, the smug chick wants to go down Cape, on Natalie's bus, if it has a john on it. The lines @Bourne, or worse @Sagamore will be Longer than this lost season so fah.
I would grant thee, h.b. Tuesday off, since sunburn is worse when your team sucks.

Where is Lisa the Temp?

Lisa the Temp strips are usually about 10Xs more difficult to write than regular cast strips.

h.b. "...positive vibrations, I-ay-a,iredite" or something like that from Bob Marley. The only fun I've had following the "team" the last few months is reading this creepy stuff. Someone wrote last week after the trade--"now you got your team back." Sounded good at first--but this is not my team. For me it all started with Pesky's funeral. Pedey- shut the fuck up. Only four adults on this squad could pay their respects? Unforgivable. Have a good long weekend.

Peter Abraham said in an article today that Henry probably wouldn't fire Bobby Valentine because he's proud of the organization's reputation for "smart decision making". The debate about whether that reputation has truly been earned or simply self-bestowed upon them aside, Abraham continues by explaining that 3 managers in 3 years would go against that reputation.

I want to take this opportunity to introduce you all to the "Sunk Cost Fallacy". The human brain is wired for internal consistency. Part of that wiring tells us that if we have been investing in a particular item, then to withdraw our investment when the item goes sour and switch to a new investment incurs a cost. That cost is predominantly the acceptance that we were foolish to have gone this far with that investment...so to stay internally consistent we would rather stay with a bad investment than find a new, better investment to make. Perseverance is a tremendous motivator that sometimes keeps us sane...but only because we're crazy.

The correct answer is not to keep Bobby Valentine because Henry wants to look like he didn't make a mistake in hiring him in the first place. IF he has value in creating wins on the field over any other alternative, then keep him. If he doesn't, then fire him even though it'll be to hire the 3rd manager in 3 years. The same goes for any of the players. There was little value left in Beckett and he definitely had a lot of baggage in the clubhouse, so we got rid of him even though he was a part of some great teams in the past. Ownership escaped the Sunk Cost Fallacy with Beckett. It should do the same with Valentine and swallow its pride if it means doing so in order to bring in a manager that's going to put a winning team on the field.

So Henry thinks that not firing Valentine proves that hiring him was a smart decision?

There's so little logic in that, I find it difficult to put into words.

Ahhh. I love it. Henry is forwarding the exceptionalism argument. Redsox Exceptionalism. The exceptionalism argument is an exceptional argument for the declaration of exceptionalism to relieve one of any need to pursue further exceptionalism. A minor, but oft overlooked flaw... some exceptional behaviour is exceptionally bad. The redsox are certainly exceptional right now.

If exceptionalism were a scarf John Henry bought for his wife, what color would it be?

Gray. No, Salmon. No.... Valentine Red, appropriate for all democratic convention functions and any Crip gathering. If questioned, just tell them your husband makes good decisions, its ok.

I don't know, but if he bought Bobby Valentine a jacket it would be technicolor. One can only hope that Potiphar, er...John Henry, walks in on his wife trying to have her "Valentine's Day" well before February of next year.

The scarf would be pink.

Agreed. Pink. Good call.

The Red Sox may stink but this strip is still in first place.

def looking forward to the Pats here, and hoping that they don't catch whatever malaise is leaking down Yawkey Way.

As to Bobby V, I'm of the Billy Beane school of thought, that Managers are wildly overrated and have next to no effect on wins and losses. The manager's job is to not get in their own way with dumb moves, and present a charismatic, likable figurehead of the organization. V gets a C- on the one and an F+ on the other.

A day with a Soxaholix strip is like a day without moonshine.

Without. Without a Soxaholix strip. (The thought of a long weekend has made me stupid with anticipation.)

Boom. Goodbye HunterStars. Your prediction of 93 wins, although not outrageous, was a bit ambitious. We could have four more victims this weekend as the team heads to Oakland. The Sox have thrown in the towel and the A's are in the wild card hunt. It will not go well. Here is where we get revenge on both the Orioles and the Rays with some truly half-hearted play.

Yeah but yaz, Is the heart half full or half empty?

Oh, BTW, today is the anniversary of the last time the Sox were good.

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