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h.b. gets off to a bad start...

Your omniscient author in absentia:
Ok, so I'm not getting off to a good start which has impeded the strip writing side of my brain.

First, it seems I've lost my debit card. Now I pretty much only use my debit card when I'm on vacation to access ATMs. (By the way did I mention I'll be on vacation next week?) As it goes, it seems doubtful I can get a replacement debit card before I leave for foreign soil on Saturday. But, you may be thinking, why can't you just walk into your local branch office and have them issue you a new one? Ah, dear readers, there's the rub. Because my account is in Massachusetts but I'm in my undisclosed location outside of the Bay State, my bank won't allow such a convenience and a replacement debit needs to be sent to my underground bunker. (Odd considering the bank calls itself "Bank of America" and not "Bank of Sorta America Depending on What State You Happen to Be In.")

Second, while looking for the debit card among my stack of things I gather when I travel, I came across my camera charger but the camera was missing. The last time I saw this camera was in Tulum, Mexico. Now again, dear readers, you may be thinking, surely h.b. couldn't have left the camera behind from his last vacation as certainly he would have realized it as soon as he got home and went to transfer the pics into his iPhoto app. Ah, there's the other rub—I actually didn't take a single photo with it as I just always seemed to opt for the convenience of the iPhone. Now rub on the rub, this camera was an Xmas gift from my wife, so now I'm in the indelicate situation of my wife realizing that not only did I lose it but that I never used it. That doesn't bode well for future gifts, does it?

So there it is. That's all I've got. At least the Sox won and Papi gets number 399.



Do you feel like Earl Hickey yet? Worse, do you feel like Clark Griswold?

Hopefully YOU'LL have something fun to yak about when you get back

Hey it could be worse. You could be one of those VEET guys Natalie turned us on to yesterday.

yeah sonoma, because that's the rub that keeps on giving

I see a nice assortment of neckties and monogrammed handkerchiefs in your future...

I assume you've already gone into a branch to check this out. I had a different experience at my local bank (of course, this was a California bank, and not an American bank, although BofA used to be a California bank too). They gave me a temporary debit card that I could use until I activated the new card that was sent to my home address. So theoretically you could get one of those to use on your travels. The only problem is these cards are funky -- they don't have your name on them, and every merchant looks at them like, "What the hell is this thing you just handed to me." But they do work at any place that takes the creditor listed on the front (Visa in my case).

That sucks about the phone. I hope you're not in the doghouse during your foreign sojourn.

So, on to the important question -- who knew that we fund this kind of swinging lifestyle for h.b.? Mexican journeys where he doesn't even care to whip out his camera, secret bunkers, foreign soil. He's a regular Rick Steves. Either that or he's James Bond.

...and Veet,lots and lots of Veet.

I see a new lawn mower in his future.

That sucks. I wonder if you could call a BoA in Boston, let them know your problem, and fax them your ID, etc. so they'd let somebody pick up your card and FedEx it to you.

I swear I wouldn't take out more than $60 from your account. $100, tops.

Youkie went 3 for 4 yesterday and is now 5 for 16 since coming over to Chicago.

You only use your ATM card on vacation? Are you some sort of 'stay off the grid' type of guy, HB?

I only use ATM on vacation because that's only time I'm someplace where there is chance I need to pay with cash.

For everything else I use my credit card (paid off in full each month) to generate miles to use for future trips.

I'm one of those nuts who puts everything on my credit card and I apply for every bonus thingy there is, i.e., open a new checking account, get 45K miles which I open and promptly close as soon as the miles are credited etc.

Which reminds me: I'll be using the debit from my new Citi checking account from latest 30K miles offer on this trip.

So the not having the BoA debit card isn't in and of itself the issue. The issue is that I'm hyper-anal when it comes to packing and organizing and keeping everything in its place, so losing my debit and my camera suggests that there is a critical breakdown in my system. And this annoys me to no end. I shit you not, I actually have a knot in my stomach and feel kind of sick.

You missed a golden opportunity to write: "...only time I'm someplace where there is chance I need to pay with cash. For everything else, there's MasterCard."

Hang in there h.b, you could book a trip on Natalie's bus and get a buzz going.
As for money The late, great Hunter S. Thompson said, when asked at a chat he had at a well known second tier University in Wellsley: "When I travel, I go with 20's and 50's. No hundreds, they all have (traceable) ink on them. No sequential numbers, travel light, as you may need to run for it and watch your back."

Actually, I think HB is taking off for Canada to avoid Universal Healthcare.

Nah, I was born with a pre-existing condition of 3 testicles and an abnormally long and engorged penis.

So now I can no longer be denied health care should I lose my job.

This is a good thing.

I know who you are now h.b.

The 'Mmm mmm mmm mmm' song guy. It was rumored he had an extra oyster.

Speaking of travel, I am headed to Memphis on business in two weeks, and the boy is meeting me to parlay a Thurs meeting into a long weekend. Obvs we have to do Sun Records and Graceland... but we're also big hikers/national park goers, and history buffs. What else should we get up to down there over the weekend? Hot Springs? Shiloh? Any and all suggestions welcome, as well as for food/drink/live music recommendations in Memphis proper.

If you're at all a Civil War buff, Shiloh is one of best experiences in the National Parks Battlefields group.

I think if you have a long and engorged penis your wife isn't going to give a damn about the camera.

As Dr.Painless said ,"How'd you like to see that angry?"

As the day has gone on I've

1) Reported debit card as lost with BoA

2) Ordered a new camera, this time a waterproof one.

Now the question is: Do I continue to look for the missing cam or just quit and assume it it's somewhere in house it will show up eventually?

you NEED a vacation. Nothing will happen here...

as for me, I am committed to a family even in the ATL, where is is forecast to be 108F on Sattiday

I'll be the one a suit making his own gravy.



I plan to finish reading the panel after dinner.

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