The answer (depends on the question)
Al:
Well, I hope you enjoyed your day at .500.
Doug:
Seriously, that's what you call a premature bifurcation.
Mike:
I heard there's therapy for that...
Mike:
And by therapy, of course, I mean a Real Doll.
Doug:
That's the answer...
Doug:
Get a Real Doll, pretty her up with a scarf from John Henry, name her Sweet Caroline, and there you go... .500 ball for the remaindah.
Mike:
I like it.
Al:
Our work here is done, people.
...and remember,for an erection lasting more than 4 hours call your bullpen ;O
Posted by: Harwich Rich | 2012.05.23 at 08:46 AM
I don't think the Real Doll will get any respect.
Posted by: Bob | 2012.05.23 at 08:47 AM
Is that what they mean by a half and half?
Posted by: ponch | 2012.05.23 at 09:33 AM
This certainly settles up that half-full vs. half-empty debate.
On another note, anyone going to Gillette for the NCAA lax final four?
Posted by: ParkerStPete | 2012.05.23 at 09:51 AM
At least the Real Doll shouldn't end up on the DL.
Posted by: soxinsix | 2012.05.23 at 09:51 AM
Strange experience at Camden Yards last night - not nearly as many Sox fans as usual. No Yanks Suck chants, only one sustained Let's Go Red Sox chant, (and that was killed by an inning ending strike out looking, not by O's fans.) 2 lousy hits. On the plus side Felix D. pitched outstanding I thought, Albers not so much.
Posted by: Steve in MD | 2012.05.23 at 10:33 AM
I'm friends with a relative of Brian Matusz (his uncle) so I'm having a hard time getting too upset about his dominant performance against the Red Sox.
Either that or Natalie has the hammer down on the bus and we are blowing right by these losses.
Posted by: COD | 2012.05.23 at 10:46 AM
COD: Toot too, hey, beep beep.
Posted by: Natalie | 2012.05.23 at 11:12 AM
Bobby Valentine invented the Realdoll. True story.
Posted by: rolo | 2012.05.23 at 11:13 AM
And evidently BV invented the premature bifurcation as well.
Posted by: 'Scoe | 2012.05.23 at 11:23 AM
Hey H.B.: If the Sox win tonight (I know, a huge if) they'll be at .500 and because there is an off day tomorrow, do we get a Friday strip? Or are you going to phone it in regardless?
Posted by: HunterStars | 2012.05.23 at 11:23 AM
Day baseball today :). Work is always so much better when there is baseball to listen to on the computer.
Posted by: rm | 2012.05.23 at 11:32 AM
If they are at .500 as of Friday morning, i.e, win tonight, we are on for Friday.
Not that doesn't necessarily mean the strip will be any good, but it will be there. Hah.
Posted by: h.b. | 2012.05.23 at 11:33 AM
Make that "win today" as rm points out-- day game.
Posted by: h.b. | 2012.05.23 at 11:34 AM
The doll had better be named Linda, otherwise some serious coin has to change hands.
Posted by: cmdrflake | 2012.05.23 at 11:50 AM
We need to hire Lance Armstrong as a team consultant. That man knows a lot about living with 0.500 ball.
Posted by: Kaz | 2012.05.23 at 01:58 PM
I saw on Twitter someone refer to this Sox season as the (.500) Days of Summer. Clever.
Posted by: Natalie | 2012.05.23 at 02:10 PM
Friday strip: yippee.
Posted by: soxdownunder | 2012.05.23 at 04:10 PM
Sucks to be you, HB. If you were riding the bus you could have started the weekend early!
Posted by: sonomasox | 2012.05.23 at 07:24 PM
Never . Love, Tim
Posted by: Lc | 2012.05.23 at 09:04 PM
Even without the Friday strips or swapping Thursday for Friday strips there's still LC to look for...
Posted by: Chip | 2012.05.24 at 09:29 AM
Yes, he's surly but locatable.
Posted by: Bob | 2012.05.24 at 09:41 AM