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93 to 53

Ladies & Gentlemen, Boys & Girls the Eephus pitch has made its first grapefruit game appearance.


In a world of chaos, I cling to the Eephus like an unfortunate cruise line passengah clings to a float.


And why not?


I mean listen to this description from Valentine, "It's quite the contrast. It's a little slower and a little faster on both ends."


Wow, what a timely coincidence... I just heard Rush Limbaugh say the same thing about Sandra Fluke.


Ba dum chhh. I'm here all week, folks. Try the quahogs.



Even the word "eephus" is perfect. It's eephemeral. Eephective. Eephlorescent. Eephortless. And eephecient.

And somewhat eerie too.

"Gimme an Eff!!"

Fine reporting from Carfardo: "Valentine also enjoyed watching a first-inning double play turned by Jose Iglesias on a nice stop of Joe Mauer's hard hit grounder by Dustin Pedroia. pedoria made a nice throw to second and Iglesias showed fast hands and made a strong throw to first to turn it."

Pedroia didn't play in the game.

Every time I hear that pitch, I think of Bocephus, hillbilly king Hank Williams Jr. I don't have a joke or correlation here; it's early and my caffeine hasn't kicked in yet... In fact, my energy level for the Sox is hovering at a 5. Hopefully it picks up before April arrives...

So, this is a fluke pitch?

So if I guy can throw both the "fluke" and the "slutter" does he get free health insurance?

only if he hums it in there, hb

Man, Cafardo is really bad.

Does anyone know, was the eephus in for a strike?

Limbaugh is an asshat.

That is all.

It will be interesting to see how the slut vote breaks down today.

I can't even with this Limbaugh thing (and the subsequent lack of disavowal by the utterly shameful GOP candidates). My "sense of humor" completely breaks down at women being called sluts and prostitutes by a prominent member of the media for no other reason than testifying in front of Congress about women's health. It's not okay. And not something I am prepared to joke about here.

Sorry, had to get that out there. Please feel free to ignore and return to regularly scheduled programming.

Sorry Nats. I was hoping to make fun of the brown shirts alienating the entire electorate. If it makes any difference, I am also tracking the voting behavior of the sportos, the motorheads, geeks, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, and dickheads.

Right, can we go back to only calling women (who are not really women because they are fucking Republican cunts!) names already? tinyurl.com/73n4p7t

I mean, jeez, people.


Was prepared to either have my humor restored or to go into the highest of dudgeon, but that link doesn't work for me.... :)

*Best Dan Ackroyd voice*

"h.b., you ignorant slut!"

Oh, and Yaz:

Dickheads are favoring Gingrich by a 4-1 margin in early exit polling.

Oops, this may work better.

collection of slurs

Oh awesome, the "two wrongs make an issue irrelevant" argument. Fucking fantastic. :) It's the easiest way to argue without actually arguing. When did things cease to be 'right' or 'wrong' or worth defending or excoriating in this country? Why does this need to be a right/left cockfight? Can't we all just say: it's fucking wrong to call a woman a slut in public discourse, full stop? It was wrong and shameful for Maher and it's wrong and shameful now for Limbaugh (perhaps even more so for Limbaugh since he has FAR more power over the GOP than Maher or Letterman over the Democratic Party- as evinced by the lack of outright disgust by any of the GOP candidates). And I won't even get into the 'slut-shaming' sort of commentary in your link: "begging for thousands of dollars of contraceptives." Jesus... If men could get pregnant, NONE of this would ever be an issue, that's for damn sure.

Natalie - what u said.

I have been trying all day to come up with a funny way to address this thing via redsox, but have nothing.

Without trying to take a side on the issue here at all, how is it ok to denigrate a citizen of this country for participating in citizenry? If you disagree with her position, debate it like an adult. We seem to accept behaviour out of our public figures and leading citizens that we would belt our kids for. The only difference between some Palin bashing for example and the Fluke thing is Palin put herself out there as a politician which effectively says "what do you think of me?" Fluke was talking to her leaders in a public forum. The behaviour of the name callers is crap in either case, but the situations are different.

Oh, and all press is good press when you are a talking head - even baseball creeper blogs are running with this story. Unless of course this becomes Rush's moment of Imus (and I am doubting it will).

Go Redsox.

Go Natalie. Eephus pitch is funny. "joking" about sluts and prostitutes NOT funny. I like to think we are beyond this, then realize we still have so far to go. Go Sox, too.

Yes, it's wrong either way.

But nobody cares when it's a conservative.

Because, let's be honest, a large chunk of the rank and file of the Left — way more than a small percentage — really don’t believe that conservatives deserve anything resembling basic human dignity or respect.

As Jim Geraghty put it: "We’re not really people to them."

Not much I can do about it I guess. (Did I just rent a sunset?)

At least those of us here who are from different points of view are all still united by being Red Sox fans.

"Because, let's be honest, a large chunk of the rank and file of the Left — way more than a small percentage — really don’t believe that conservatives deserve anything resembling basic human dignity or respect."

Wow, this from a party the bulk of whom want to force women to be vaginally penetrated for an unnecessary sonogram for a currently LEGAL procedure? When the left starts suggesting an anal probe before a man's vasectomy I will entertain your dignity and respect argument, hb.

That said, no sunsets for you. I am perfectly able to talk ball and literature with folks on both sides of the aisle. When is Opening Day again? I think we are proving the darkest hour before dawn, adage.

h.b., misery loving company and all, I am glad to hear that conservatives are "miserable" at the shade being thrown their way by the left. I feel the same in reverse from the right on a daily basis - i live in a very conservative area and dont often advertise my leanings becuase of the hairy eyeballs aimed my way.

No, not really happy about mutual unhappiness. But you get the point.

Bseball metaphor - a team with only righties or lefties is not a good team.

Can't wait for lc to get in and stir the pot. ;D

You guys really should consider investing in a parliamentary democracy. It's REALLY funny.



Ah, a good old false equivalency, h.b. Way to get derpy like the best of the Republican apologists. Was it the eighth or ninth hour on the third day of requesting Ms. Fluke's sex tapes when you came up with the idea that this was just like Maher calling Palin names? Also, has Maher called for Rush to be taken off the air? Oh, that's right...he actually defended Rush instead. And most of the liberals called for Maher to apologize just as they did Rush.

I know you aren't a liberal, but throwing in with the dittoheads just makes you look stupid...especially on this one.

Very late to the argument, but as a man, son and father of daughters, I have been taught and have taught my children that how we treat each other, especially those among us with the least power is how a society will be judge...I have my doubts about ours

Very impassioned as usual, Kaz, but totally besides the point I was making (also as usual).

As a reminder, the point, or rather points, were:

1) The outrage, chest thumping, wailing tends to flow mostly in one direction.

2) The reason for #1 is that for a lot of the liberal/progressive crowd conservatives and conservative ideas merit neither respect nor dignity.

You need look no further than the comments section of this creepy site to see evidence of #1 over the past 9 years.

When the characters pick up on liberal memes and poke fun of conservatives, it's rare that anyone takes the time to register their offense via a comment.

But if the characters, or rather character as it's almost always Doug, even suggest humor at the expense of a liberal shibboleth, then we almost always get threads like this one we are in here now.

And, invariably, in the thread someone like Kaz will chime in and remind me (or Jason O or one of the others) how "stupid" we are which, in my mind at least, is supportive of point #2 above.

But please don't get me wrong. I'm not whining or complaining or "miserable." Not at all. As a Red Sox fan for years, I'm used to being on the "wrong" side and getting beat down a bit.

So rather than misery, instead, I enjoy occassionaly pointing out observations such as the selective "slut" outrage and, frankly, here in the threads I find some impish amusement in seeing it play out like clockwork.

I confess it's very similar to the pushing of BigBri's and Yankees fans' buttons.

And likewise, there is a perverse pleasure in this question: "Hey, wait, if I'm stupid, then what does that make you for coming to this site and commenting?"

Alas, this no longer seems the case for BigBri who has vanished ever since "Pocketpool" was published.

But I digress...

So last night I said to Webby the Real Doll, "You're a very bad, bad girl asking for free birth control like that... and you know what Daddy does to bad girls? That's right, get the lube, it's Fluke time!"

And in the interest of fairness, the alternative version....

So last night I said to Webby the Real Doll, "You're a very bad, bad girl talking about death panels like that... and you know what Daddy does to bad girls? That's right, get the lube, it's hockey mom time! Drill baby, drill!"

Damn, I totally forgot to work in "vaginally penetrated for an unnecessary sonogram" into my Real Doll stories!

Next time, dear readers, next time...

Your premises are demonstrably false...that is why your conclusion is stupid. For example, even when it requires outright lies about reality to do so, Fox News puts out 24 hours of conservative outrage,wailing, and chest thumping. Not even MSNBC can keep up the same pace on the other side of the aisle...it's a bragging point for Fox News.

Maybe if conservatives tried basing their arguments on facts more often (as they used to), then liberals would have less cause and ease to find them so consistently stupid of late. It'd be a start. As it stands now, the liberals may do stupid things of their own, but their track record for reason ability and logic hold up far more often. That is why I started with talking about false equivalency.

We don't go around as Sox fans waving our dicks in the air with any seriousness pretending that our history is riddled with as many championship teams as the Yankees. And if we did, they'd smack us upside our heads with 20-whatever rings. That doesn't mean they are biased or operating on a double standard...it means they are right.

Sometimes, particulary in two-party politics, you have to stop trying to defend your "team" and acknowledge that the other person is right. Being a die-hard fan gets us nowhere as a whole and lets guys like Limbaugh insult whomever they want and call it discourse. In sports, there's nothing to be accomplished by compromise or civility. In politics, there is. Big difference.


By "especially those among us with the least power" I assume you're referring to the human being in the womb?

(I see button. I push button.)

PS - I said you LOOK stupid for trying to complain about falsely equivalent hypocrisies and that your conclusions are stupid. I held out hope based on what I've read here that when presented with a bit of fact and unspun reality, you would be willing to change your mind compared to your average dittohead. Maybe I've got you pegged wrong.

I'd hate to feed your impish trolling from now on though. You'll have to get your jollies off some other liberal who feels that reality is worth discussion here by presenting the facts to stand up against Doug's conservative..."jokes"...from now on. If I comment, it'll only be baseball from now on.


It still feels to me like you're taking this all way far afield. I'm only focusing on the small sliver of selective outrage.

For instance, let's say in the course of a strip a character says:

"I bet Clarence Thomas dreams of Condi Rice strapping on and pegging him all night long."

And in another strip a character says,

"I bet Obama dreams of Elizabeth Warren strapping on and pegging him all night long."

In my mind the two are equal, but I'm not convinced the latter wouldn't draw more complaint.

And what if the first was uttered by Bill Maher and the second by Glen Beck (both of whom are "entertainers" in my mind)? Who would be asked to leave the airwaves?

(Also just point of fact, Rush Limbaugh doesn't work for Fox.)

Again, don't want to debate the merits of forcing Catholic institutions to pay for birth control as part of health insurance (where the Fluke thing is originally spawned from). I'm only talking about what seems to push people's buttons around here.

All in good fun.

Guys n etc:
noticed on that "Quadzilla" link how civil the exchanges between BigBrie and H.B. were.
Those were the days.
Can't we all just get along?
And H.B. :no not stupid - never stoopid - you crack me up and all that all the time - but your soul is forfeit. Cheney ("go F- yourself" on the floor of the senate) is worse than Rush.
Oh BTW: asked Santorum about Real Dolls and he sez "if the Bible doesn't explicitly say it's OK, then it's not OK. Duh."
Have a care H.B. Repent.

Wow. Anyway, believe it or not I am quite aware when my buttons are being pushed. Sometimes I like my button pushed (of course, the buttons I let cartoon characters push are different than the one's I let Mrs. Jeff push...). I dove in on this one just to make my first argument that regardless of political leanings, Limbaugh's behavior on this is just wrong. His conservative nature has nothing whatsoever to do with it being bad. The left and right inability to self police and analyze is pathetic. The middle schoolish arguments and childlike "gotcha" crap going around from low to hi in our society is disgraceful.

And as an aside, I kinda like loose women. Im thinkin teenage years among the amish crowd must be a bit lonely. Unless of course you got Webby's sis stashed in the cellar. Just sayin...

Speaking of buttons pushed, I'm literally heading out the door now to visit my doc for my yearly becoming an old man physical.

It's always so awkward.... I mean people just openly stare at Webby the Real Doll when she waits with me... have you no shame people! She has feelings!

No worries (or buttons pushed) hb.

As the saying goes, "I may (and in this case do) disapprove of what you say, but will defend to the death your right to say it."

Or its "all in good fun" until someone gets their eye poked out!

THey are staring in lust and fantasy. Oh, they know she has feelings.

Jeff in NC, amen. That is exactly where I am at with this. Why can't we just all agree certain things are wrong and should be excoriated, on both sides? Now, I will defend to my grave Rush's right to say what he did under the 1st Amendment, and cackle with glee as he sheds advertisers like a labrador retriever sheds its winter coat; I just think both sides of the political aisle should be standing up and in no uncertain terms saying that is not okay for anyone to refer to a citizen participating in the democracy as a slut (or for that matter, any woman. Why are we still so afraid of female sexuality in this world?).

I also hate how every issue of sustance, when argued with the Right, turns to media bias. Oh for fuck's sake, stop being so butthurt about the which direction the MSM leans and deal. I mean, FoxNews is a rightwing propaganda machine for sure and Jon Stewart is clearly a pinko communist bedwetter, as my dad used to say... why can't we talk about the issues themselves?

Now that said...
By "especially those among us with the least power" I assume you're referring to the human being in the womb?.... and, I'm out! Taking my button and going home... :)

Agreed Natalie, learned as a kid sometimes it is best to take your marbles (or buttons) and go home...;O

It's Wednesday and hopefully we'll have some BASEBALL to yak about ;)

Uhhh.. how 'bout those Celtics?!

Pedroia Papi Dice K Youk? Gonzalez Lackey, Crawford Jacoby!

In re: Lost

I miss it.

Beisbol has lost my interest.

Otherwise, can't understand the above discussion.

There, I have weighed in.


Does "retahded" not offend anyone? I tend to not get too caught up in being pc, but a now-6th grade, former student with Down Syndrome visited the other day to tell me that he was going to Washington. Part of his goal was to tell legislators about how hurtful the "R" word is. Puts a different spin on it. Almost commented but didn't. Guess Nat pushed me a bit.

Hey, guys. My internet was broken yesterday. Did I miss anything?

I just got back from my yearly you are getting older visit with the doc. The good news is that it looks like I'll be hanging out with you creeps for another year.

That's great news, h.b., but if you don't put up a new strip pretty fast this fragile, creepy coalition may fall apart.

Anybody want to talk religion? No one?

*** Update TypePad FAIL***

OK, so I had an "no post dr" strip set to auto publish at 715am but it failed to do so. 2nd time in two weeks.

Meanwhile I just pushed it manually, not that it helps much now.

But at least we can move on... turn the page... put the Real Doll back in the crate....

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