Out-hustled, Out-hit
Doug:
So people keep coming up to me saying, "Hey, have you heard this Jetah story?" with bemusedly expectant expessions on their faces.
Doug:
And I'm like what exactly are you looking for ovah heah?
Doug:
Because see this is how my mind is breaking this shit down...
Doug:
The face of the New York Yankees franchise splits up with his A-List, hot, celebrity girlfriend, whom I might add is but one in a long list of A-List, hot, celebrity girlfriends the guy has known cahnally.
Doug:
And aftah splitting from the most recent one he goes all Ghengis Cock on New York, picking up hot chicks, banging them, and then sending them off in a cab with a gift basket of assorted sundries including, get this, an autographed baseball by the Lothario himself.
Doug:
Meanwhile, the face of the Red Sox franchise is what? Sitting around getting fat, eating chicken, and asking their redneck cousin Brandyne for a tug job?
Doug:
That's right. Advantage Motherfucking Yankees.
Outhit
I'm withholding comment until I see a picture of Brandyne.
Posted by: Go Sox, Go Heels, etc. | 2011.12.19 at 09:35 AM
Remember though, Brandyne doesn't have teeth. Advantage trailer park.
Posted by: Bob | 2011.12.19 at 09:48 AM
yep, and the gold gloves were legitimate too.
Posted by: Paul in DC | 2011.12.19 at 09:49 AM
That's a good job by Jeter. At least that part of his game hasn't slowed down.
Posted by: soxinsix | 2011.12.19 at 10:30 AM
//asking their redneck cousin Brandyne for a tug job?//
Very nice.
Posted by: vermonter | 2011.12.19 at 11:19 AM
Genghis Cock, that made me laugh out loud. And wonder if a woman were doing the same thing- cutting an enviable take-no-prisoners, souvenir-replete sexual swath across the city- what would be the equivalent? Queen Vulva (Victoria)? Belle Cuntress (Belle Gunness)? Pussy Borden? I accept other ideas...
Posted by: Natalie | 2011.12.19 at 11:44 AM
Knowing Minka Kelly has been with Jeter ruined my day.
Posted by: COD | 2011.12.19 at 11:45 AM
Hilary Rodhammer Clit-ton?
Posted by: soxinsix | 2011.12.19 at 12:20 PM
COD, I would risk getting the herps to bang Minka Kelly, even now. Jessica Alba would also get the double-bag treatment. It would be the angriest four inches she ever encountered. To quote my brother: I may not hit the bottom, but I'll thrash the shit out of the sides.
Posted by: da kine | 2011.12.19 at 12:30 PM
At least my Scarlett had the good grace to deny 'shacking up' with the miscreant short stop of the New York (AL) team. Jeez.
Posted by: soxdownunder | 2011.12.19 at 02:42 PM
Clitopatra?
Posted by: Jeff in NC | 2011.12.19 at 04:30 PM
He autographed his balls??!!
Posted by: Harwich Rich | 2011.12.19 at 07:12 PM
*** Update Tues 12/20 ***
It's that slow news holiday time, but not ready yet to shut down for official holiday hiatus... intermittent for now (as in today).
Posted by: h.b. | 2011.12.20 at 07:45 AM
Yeah, it's pretty slow out there. The big news on the Red Sox site is that the farm system is "filled with heavy hitters."
They must be referring to weight.
Posted by: Bob | 2011.12.20 at 08:55 AM
I just heard that Jon Bon Jovi died. True? Or Onion news?
Posted by: Bob | 2011.12.20 at 09:20 AM
The reports of his death have been greatly exaggerated.
Posted by: COD | 2011.12.20 at 09:23 AM
The JBJ news is a fake - his response was going around Facebook this morning. https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/397523_10151065908995215_720535214_22244857_1466935794_n.jpg
Posted by: Josh | 2011.12.20 at 09:25 AM
I heard he was shot through the heart.
Posted by: yazbread | 2011.12.20 at 11:13 AM
well played, yaz, well played
Posted by: HunterStars | 2011.12.20 at 12:05 PM
Bill Conlin
Frick, indeed
Posted by: Lc | 2011.12.20 at 08:01 PM
SHOW ME THE CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: lc | 2011.12.21 at 08:13 AM