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Is to As

Hey, somebody get the college board on the line, I've got a new SAT question for them...


Kim Kardashian is to success with relationships as Theo Epstein is to ________________?


And the correct answer is: "Signing free agent shortstops."


Oh, settle down, Cubbies. We kid because we love. And by love we mean, of course, feasting on a nevah ending diet of scorn and resentment.


Speaking of the Cubs, how's the compensation for Theo coming along?


Hey, who needs compensation when we've got Larry "The Glue" Lucchino?



I just hope the Sox and Cubs don't draw out the compensation talks so long that Selig gets involved. He's the type that hands out ribbon candy on Halloween.

Ribbon candy? He's the kind that hands out apples with razors in them.

See, I would have gone with he's the kind who hands out toothbrushes- all sanctimony under the guise of "helpfulness." I fucking hate Bud Selig.

Keep 2 bowls at your door. One full of broccoli...and then another full of candy after the kids start winding up with their eggs.

Julian Edelman-sure handed receiver??

We had a neighbor handing out Snack Pack pudding last night. Pudding for Halloween? WTF?

...as PK Subban is to hockey??

Rich, I propose a Cain/Edelman ticket in 2012.

Cain/Edelman: no woman left behind!

I kid. That's some ginned-up shit on the Caininator.

da kine, I'm sure it was a typo, but their campaign slogan is actually:

Cain/Edelman 2012: No woman behind left!

I have successfully taught my youngest that Milk Duds in the candy bag have but one purpose - to be thrown at people.

Where are all the candy corns?

Kaz, I went back and forth three or four times on which one to use.

Jeff-Kaz mixed them in with the Skittles and M and M's ;D

Ew. Skittles and M&Ms mixed up...gross.

I dont want this year's candy corns. I want 3 yr old ones that just got found again and shlepped off on the punks at the front porch.

I observed a disturbing(?) trend in the typical 'slutty Halloween costume' whilst out and about this past weekend.
Apparently the new thing to do this year was to still dress as a slutty nurse/cat/witch but zombified.

The silliest thing about it is most of these chicks went whole hog on the slut and held back on the zomb, because god forbid you not be a PRETTY fucking ladybug zombie!
I think next year I'm just going to cut out the middle man dress up as a giant set of tits.
Zombie tits.

pseudo- "Night of the Living D cup?"

Buck, I actually LOL'd. I am hereby stealing your idea and incorporating it into my own. Hopefully I can get a few friends to do it with me.

If a group of crows is a murder what would a group of zombie boobs be?

tsssss, boobs or somethin'

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