Oh, it's on now...

Doug:
How is it that no mattah what day, what week, what season, what decade, what century, the Yankees always seem to a have rostah packed with guys like Francisco Cervelli?

 

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Mike:
You know how one of the lessons of Moneyball is that a college baseball player's chance of MLB success is far and away highah?

 

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Mike:
Well the Yankees have their own theory. They believe the numbah one criterion for playah selection is this: Is the guy or isn't the guy a fucking douchebag?

 

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Doug:
Lewis needs to write a new book—Yankeeball: The Art of Douchebagging Your Way to Fame.

 

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Mike:
I will say this, I was feeling fairly blasé about the remaining Yankees series, what with us kicking their ass all year and all, but now, thanks to Cervelli, I'm friggin totally into it again.

 

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Doug:
You think you're into it... just imagine, somewhere in Chillicothe Missouri a man-child is faced with the following dilemma — Renew the subscription to YouPorn or buy an authentic Cervelli game jersey?

 

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Mike:
I think I saw that in a movie once... you know, "Wankie's Choice."

 

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Comments

[Bob]

For BigBri, it's a no brainer. If he gets the Cervelli shirt, it'll double as a wank wipe rag. Double duty, as it were.

[LarryE]

I think if we face Sabathia in the playoffs, Lowrie plays third and Youk plays first. Adrian looked completely lost at the plate last night against C.C. We were one big hit away from tying the game or going ahead SO MANY TIMES. A little frustrating.

BigBri gets the shirt and asks his Mom for an increase in his allowance to get the porn.

[Harwich Rich]

Well he can always dress his Real Doll up IN the Cervelli jersey ;)

[Paul in DC]

Ah, yes, the Sons of Karim Garcia...

[louclinton]

still don't care. sorry

[soxinsix]

Maybe BigBri can cut back on the Pepsi so he can afford the shirt and the porn.

[Steve in MD]

h.b., you've done it again!

[Jason O.]

There, there, dears: I know leaving the bases loaded twice and not converting against the (ahem) formidable duo of Cory Wade and Boone Logan is difficult to swallow, but to resort to sideshows of childish name calling re: female hygiene?

Besides, it's only one game. Tonight you may watch and dream of tenderly stroking Beckett's chin pubes.

[Bob]

Well, the good news is, C.C. certainly didn't solve his problems with the Red Sox.

[da kine]

Couldn't Varitek have thrown on some gear quickly and run out to mash a glove in Cervixelli's face? That would have been awesome.

Then again, Saltimbocca's line seems pretty cool: "To me, the clap at home plate, he was excited. He hit a home run. Second of the year. Good for him." In print, that sounds mad dismissive, i.e. "second of the year. Good job, you douche. Call me when you hit as many as our pitchers during interleague."

[ponch]

CC had a whip of 2. I'm just fine with that vs. Beckett come playoff time. Yanks didn't win it as much as the Sox gave it away, but in any case, it's a loss and life goes on. Another game up tonight (that I get to see in NJ).

[Kaz]

It's amazing Cervelli can generate all that testosterone given the way he lays on the ground in a split on defense suggests he has nothing between his legs.

[LarryE]

And another gem pitched by Lackey. His WHIP was more than 2. But I agree with your main point, ponch, about Sabathia.

[da kine]

That's why Jason O is my favorite Stankees fan. Even though his team sucks dog balls, he comes correct with funny shit.

[pseudosanity78]

Just to let you know, you don't need a subscription for YouPorn so I'm guessing the jersey is in the mail.

[da kine]

Thanks for the tip, pseudo. I still prefer spankwire myself.

[Natalie]

I am learning so many new things today with the YouPorn and the spankwire and the such. Here I have been all vanilla with redtube....

I have a feeling vengeance shall be ours tonight, just a good vibe- like the smell of Fall- in the air...

[Jeff in NC]

Things I like today -

The game gives hb the fuel to ridicule a guy that I hated the first time I saw him don his too big batting helmet. Looks like a fuckin retard, he does.

Pseudo knowing that youporn is free. Very hot.

If Lacky is going to lose, as he is prone to do at times, might as well waste his start against cc.

Salty standing 12' over Cervelli giving him the what for.

The umpires telling Joe G to go pound sand.

Like lc, well half like lc, I only give half a fuck about the series. Now, to just figure out how to give half of a fuck... Puzzling.

[Bob]

This is a weird story. It seems that over the past couple of years, Rex Ryan has taken several short leaves of absence from the Jets to tend to "personal business" in British Columbia. Some have even occured during the regular season. I wonder what gives?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44339796/ns/world_news-americas/?GT1=43001

[Jeff in NC]

Rex Ryan - the agony of da feet.

[Jeff in NC]

How exactly does a foot become seperated from a leg "naturally"? The reporter has no follow up to that little nugget of forensic whatthefuck?

[yazbread]

I have a feeling vengeance shall be ours tonight


Pride goeth before the gooch.

[Bob]

Pride or testicles, depending on which gooch you're talking about.

[vancouversoxfan]

h.b. thanks for the gold today.

Jeff's "likes"-couldnt agree more.

lc, I do give a fuck but only because it is the Skankees.

[Yossarian]

Nobody mentioned today that Rob is still a witch.

[nolasox]

At the louisiana jimmy fund site introducing southern sox fans to hb. Hopefully there will be some more traffic from new orleans.