Not your father's Apple Sox
Mike:
So Papi's finally gone and done it…
Al:
Yep, he's not longah just a sluggah… With his nascent small ball abilities, he's become a complete hittah.
Mike:
Well there's that, yeah, but I was talking about his ascendance to the higher spiritual plane of the guru.
Mike:
Aftah last night's game Papi said, "We’re the Sox. Not Apple Sox. We ain’t no Barbeque Sox. We’re the Red Sox."
Mike:
Like all the great spiritual mastahs he's begun to speak in parables. It's momentous.
Doug:
Seriously. And just wondering what Papi means in that statement you reveal that you yourself are not ready for that highah level of existence.
Mike:
Right Papi exists on a plane beyond "meaning." A plane simply of "is."
Al:
I get it. It's like the riddle of "What is the sound of one hand clapping."
Doug:
Or my own personal fave, "If a Real Doll pisses in her crate, does she make a sound?"
I think Big Papi may have been channeling his inner Manny.
Posted by: Steve in MD | 2011.08.10 at 09:34 AM
//If a Real Doll pisses in her crate, does she make a sound?//
In philosophy, this is known as the Pinocchio Conundrum.
Posted by: Bob | 2011.08.10 at 09:37 AM
Hmm, I should have googled Pinocchio Conundrum first. Seems there actually IS such a thing.
"My nose will grow now."
If Pinnocchio says his nose will grow but it doesn't, he's lying. But his nose grows when he lies, so he'd be telling the truth. But his nose still grew while he told the truth.
Posted by: Bob | 2011.08.10 at 09:41 AM
Speaking of Real Dolls, that strike zone last night was tighter than a Real Doll's sphincter. And that guy's supposedly one of the league's best umpires? What a joke.
Posted by: soxinsix | 2011.08.10 at 09:42 AM
Parables? Sounds one step short of speaking in tongues.
Posted by: yazbread | 2011.08.10 at 10:01 AM
Seriously. Bedard took it well though. It's a great example of the power of remaining calm. Imagine if it was Lackey on the mound? He would have been having a pouting fit every other pitch.
Posted by: Go Sox. Go Heels, etc. | 2011.08.10 at 10:04 AM
Yeah, on EEI this morning they said a pitch analysis determined that the ump missed seven strike calls in the first inning alone. No wonder there were 14 walks in the game.
Posted by: Bob | 2011.08.10 at 10:20 AM
Here's Bedard's strikezone plot as according to Pitch F/X. I particularly like the green "ball" call that's dead center and a few inches above the bottom of the zone...wtf.
Posted by: Kaz | 2011.08.10 at 10:38 AM
The sound of one hand clapping?? Fap fap fapfapfap
Posted by: Harwich Rich | 2011.08.10 at 10:41 AM
Nor or we the Worcestershire Sox, Hollandaise Sox, Tabasco Sox, or Soy Sox, just to name some others.
Posted by: pablo in nh | 2011.08.10 at 11:16 AM
Kirk: "Everything Spock says in a lie."
Spock: "I'm lying."
Posted by: Steve in MD | 2011.08.10 at 11:39 AM
Yeah, the strike zone was rediculous. He absolutely struck out Young for the third out that McClelland blew the call on.
Regarding Papi, since he was clearly giving examples of what types of Sox they weren't in alphabetical order (Apple, Barbeque), let's be grateful that he didn't feel the need to go all the way down to R.
Posted by: LarryE | 2011.08.10 at 11:49 AM
"We're not the Barbeque Sox". Keep in mind that this is coming from a guy who sells his own line of condiments.
Does that make his comment more or less confusing?
Posted by: Chops | 2011.08.10 at 11:51 AM
Apple Sox,no-Pork Chops,yes :)
Posted by: Harwich Rich | 2011.08.10 at 11:51 AM
Hey HB, my captcha for that comment above was FQABSX. Sound that out... now I have a mental image of Carl Crawford in a teal dress. Do you write those "random" letters yourself?
Posted by: Chops | 2011.08.10 at 11:52 AM
A little OT, but the lead from the NY Post story about the Yankees' loss last night: "If Mo goes south, the Yankees have no chance."
From the Post's lips to God's ear... Heh.
Posted by: Rob in CT | 2011.08.10 at 12:02 PM
perhaps Papi is just prepping for his post-Sox career as Shaq's sideman on his next "rap" record?
Posted by: Jim S | 2011.08.10 at 01:15 PM
Steve in MD - failed to appreciate your Star Trek reference before. Good one!
Posted by: Rob in CT | 2011.08.10 at 01:44 PM
I do believe we are the Sriracha Sox. if not, we should be
Posted by: ponch | 2011.08.10 at 02:25 PM