No August holiday

Mike:
So it's the middle of August and we're tied for first with the Yankees and yet I have no tension, no stress, nothing but absolute certainty that everything is playing out perfectly.

 

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Al:
Seriously. It's like Aesop's fable of the Ant and the Grasshoppah. Theo is always working hahd, always stocking up for leanah times.

 

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Mike:
I appreciate the analogy and yet I'm not convinced that the Yankees are the grasshoppah despite their preference to buy rather than produce.

 

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Al:
True it's more like red ant vs pinstripe ant.

 

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Doug:
Enough with the fucking ants already.

 

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Doug:
It's always ant this and ant that...

 

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Doug:
But I'm here to tell you — The ant is way the frig overrated.

 

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Mike:
Dude, what are you some sort of anti-antite?

 

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Doug:
Look, ants are great if you're into the whole colony caste system, "workah" and "soldier" and the fascist insect thing.

 

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Doug:
But get this — the cockroach can live a month without food.

 

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Doug:
The cockroach can friggin swim, dudes, swim! And a roach can hold it's breath for 40 freakin' minutes.

 

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Doug:
Meanwhile what do ants do? Follow fucking ordahs. Whoop de friggin do.

 

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Al:
...

 

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Mike:
...

 

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Al:
Speaking of insects, anybody else hearing crickets?

 

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Comments

[Harwich Rich]

"When you can snatch this pebble out of my hand,Grasshoppah"

[Bob]

If we don't get a damn win from our starting rotation, I'm going to be a Praying Mantis.

[yazbread]

... and in the end,the grasshopper eat-a the ant.

[Natalie]

Hey, if we need to be analogously linked to a bug, can we be the Japanese Hornet? The Yanks can be the cockroach (seems only right).


http://www.cracked.com/article_15816_the-5-most-horrifying-bugs-in-world.html

[Natalie]

Although, from that link... certain ants are pretty fucking badass.

[soxinsix]

"Anti-antite". Fucking hysterical, h.b.

[pseudosanity78]

When I was a kid we lived on a 25 acre farm and a healthy collection of fire ant piles were dotted around the property. I don't know what possessed me to do it, but one day I decided that it might be fun to pee on one of said piles. Well, as luck would have it, I lost my balance and fell ass first into the pile where I was set upon almost immediately by hundreds of angry ants that obviously didn't think it was as funny to be pissed on as I did.
Every time I tried to get up I would stumble because of the pain and end up grinding my ass further into the pile. When I finally managed to get up and run inside to tell my mom, covered in ant bites and piss all she could do was laugh at me.
In all, I was bitten/stung about 300 times with about half of those concentrated around my poopchute. The following 2 weeks were probably the itchiest of my life, and my mom still devolves into fits of giggles upon seeing an ant pile.

[h.b.]

Now *that* was on the of the best Soxaholix comment stories EVAH!

[Rob in CT]

My aunt used to chew my ass all the time...

[soxinsix]

That's a classic, pseudo! Definitely one of those stories that would get brought up at family gatherings for years.

[redleghockey]

Don't tread on an ant, he's done nothing to you, don't tread on an ant, he'll come looking for you......

[yazbread]

Jains believe that JD Drew will be recycled as an ant.

[pseudosanity78]

I don't know what this says about me, but many of my 'unfortunate' childhood (and a few adult) stories involve me pissing on something I shouldn't have been.
My mom throwing these stories out at random intervals as I was growing up has given me nothing else if not an extremely high tolerance for public embarrassment.

[Jim S]

I once sat in a red ant pile at football practice.. those fuckers got up inside my jock and chewed the crap outta my manly (well, boyish...) bits... traumatized me for life against ants, but particularly red ones, so your story struck a nerve pseudo... a very painful nerve.

but on another subject, can we SERIOUSLY use the "buy rather than produce" analogy anymore? we're spending MORE than the Yankess right now... tough to berate them for buying power.

[Bob]

Actually, that's not true, Jim S. The Skanks have the highest payroll in MLB, at 201.7 mil. The Phillies are actually second at 173 mil, and the Sox are at 161.4 mil.

To give you some perspective, the payroll difference between the Skanks' and the Sox' is greater than the entire payroll of Tampa Bay and Kansas City.

[pseudosanity78]

Game on. Let's hope our little ants can find a few holes to sting.

[Betsy in Rhode Island]

And at a decent hour for you, pseudo.

[da kine]

Pseudo deconstructs "the no-no hole".

[pseudosanity78]

Oh jeez, I know I'm beating this horse to death but I just found this and couldn'y stop laughing.
http://ragecomics.memebase.com/2011/08/07/rage-comics-i-can-feel-them-crawling-inside-me/

[soxdownunder]

All this talk of young girls and ants reminded me of my favourite add EVAH, sic:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ac9XE2Koxg

Sick 'em Rex. Mmmmm

[Bob]

God I love Jacoby.

[soxdownunder]

Hey bob - check out my link - you of all people will love it. Good win. Let's play two.

[Bob]

That's one damn lucky anteater, SDU.

[pseudosanity78]

I must be tired because I could have sworn she had a hedgehog in bed with her. Dem's some nice unnrpants tho! No holes!

[Soxdownunder]

An echidna perhaps?

[Harwich Rich]

So glad no one trotted out any Golden Shower jokes today.Oops! ;O