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Temporary and brief hiatus...

Your omniscient author in absentia:
Apologies, my mornings are getting busted up with job related stuff that I need to address.

As it goes, there is less tolerance in my line of work for sub .500 performance than there is in MLB.

And the pay isn't nearly as good either. (Perhaps you can relate?)

Things should clear up by Thursday and strips will resume.



aww, geez.... can we at least revert to one of the original 12 to 14 topics?

.500 so close
Like a full moon in the sky
One small step for man.

Crawdad awakens
from early season slumber-
THE TEAM here at last?

I carry my .248 work average around with me at the office with the same stoic look J. D. Drew has after yet another swing and a miss with RISP. If only I made $14 million a year for my 1 in 4 efforts...

Oh, and nice to see a Sox game on the telly down here in Texas. Esp. a win. .500, here we come!

The Celtics and Sox were both on the tube. Went from thinking there might be two wins to stepping out onto the ledge. Nice of the Sox to pull out the win.

Sometimes, every day is a Monday.

Rajon with bad wing
Celtics' old legs look tired now
Youth will be served soon

Sleeping bats awake
Beckett spot on versus Twins
.500 soon ours?

Long for next B's game
Relevant Boston hockey
revives my inner goon

one for whatever,
with runners poised to come home,
basepaths so lonely

topic number i dont know what...I used to berate the Yankees management for the way their players would show up for regular season out of shape and therefore getting injured in month 1 and for not being ready to play ball in general.

so, for 2 yrs in a row the Red Sox have not been ready to play ball in general...

I ask you, am I obligated to hate on the Franconstein regime?

Okajima san
First win of the spring-time
[Can't think up last line.]

That's exactly what they told me at the campus medical center in college on Monday after I went to NOLA for Mardi Gras one weekend.

"I'm going to write you a prescription for penicillin, things should clear up by Thursday."

Clap clap clap-clap-clap

Okay, let me get this straight: Jet Pack Man completed his flight over and around the Grand Canyon SECRETLY?

What's the point of being a Jet Pack Man if you're not going to do it in public?


Flap, Flap, flap-flap-flap

Give him a break Bob, he had a knot in his body. Huh?


.500 is so over-rated...

Maybe we should just stop talking about it. Dark forces at work my preciouses.

This is doing my head in.

Ugh, I hate this time of day. Have already worked a full day here in Amsterdam, could really use a beer or 5 in the gorgeous sunshine ogling hot, tall Dutch men... but the US is about to come online and my second work day begin. On the plus side, didn't have to witness the game last night. This team HAS to be better than this, right? I really don't get it. Like, legitimately confused.

OK, I confess that I've been toying with this idea in my mind...

Only writing strips when the team is .500 or over.

Now I know some of the criticism of this (if it were to go into effect) would be of the "through thick and thin stick with them!" sort.

And I agree. Though writing a daily strip for 7 straight years is a bit different than what the average fan does in terms of fanaticism and loyalty.

I've paid my dues for a lifetime of Sox die hardness.

Meanwhile, I'm both pissed off with the quality on the field so far this year, and I'm jaded with pulling from the "12-14" topics day after day relentlessly.

Again, not saying I'm going to do this, but the thought does have a certain appeal.

I say post when inspiration strikes, hb, leave a placeholder when not. [Although I can also see how the discipline of writing every day can be self-sustaining (says one who wrote 60 pages of a novel on vacation, and has not touched it since).] You'll get no complaint from this quarter if you ratchet it down. I don't know how you do it day in day out, frankly, especially when the team is this piss poor and/or lacking in zany characters or epic performers like a C. Everett or a P. Martinez.

I certainly wouldn't blame you, H.B. But I will say that this creepy site is especially therapeutic when the team isn't doing well.

And it could end up being some sort of reverse gooch.

I have to agree with Bob on this. When the team isn't doing well (or as well as we would like) this site is like slipping into a warm bubble bath with a very large glass of Chateau Petrus.

And hanging round here since '04 I have to say there's at LEAST 17 topics you can cull from. 12-14? Pfffttt. That's for amateurs.

pseudo is right- 17 is the new 12. Shoot, we used to do 12 topics when I lived in a blog in the middle of the road, reading nothin' but CHB gravel that was dumped over us every morning- and we considered ourselves lucky!

What keeps you from adding more topics?

I'm guessing you haven't had time to peruse your favorite literature and prose or anything new for that matter either. One thing that used to drive the funny and carry the time was hearing some new revelation of how well the Sox aligned with a wide range of authors or music artists depending on the on-field antics.

We may be more Plath than Judy Blume right now...but it's just a suggestion as to why it might feel stale lately.

What Bob & pseudo said...

And a Bronx Cheer to Jason O. for being the turd in the punch bowl to bring up the whole line of thought.

The "topics" thing is an inside joke based on Jason O's comment last week.

But in any case it's all been done before.

Every strip is really just a variation of a strip already done in 2004.

Jason is right in that regard.

It's kind of like episodes of the Love Boat, e.g., zany single girl, zany single guy, a joke from Gopher, hilarity ensues as zany guy and girl almost connect but some mishap precludes such, repeat, commercial break, then boom chicka waa waa the denouement.

I've been coming to this site since the early days, both for the opportunity to either bitch or cheer about our beloved team, but also for the opportunity to read something like this:


That gem was immediately bookmarked and I read it whenever I feel the need for some inspiration or to just read something beautiful.

I hope you continue to post with your customary frequency, hb, but as Natalie suggests, maybe dialing it back and posting only when the muse inspires you could be beneficial. I for one will check in each day...just in case.

I'm not sure I like the negativity implicit in Jason O's comment (or its subsequent "topicization" by Soxa commenters) that having 12-17 themes thing is a failing. I mean, if you reduce any work of literature, writing, entertainment etc down to its essence, isn't it sure to be about one of 12-15 topics comprising the essential human experience (love, envy, regret, fear, etc)? Are all ideas in some ways reflections or reintepretations of ones that have come before? Discuss. :)

Do what you want, hb. We'll be here.



Try This

Dear HB, you are able to take a day (or two, or more) off now and then because you have gathered a whole community of characters around you who carry on a conversation even when you have to be silent! (See above 31 comments!) This may have started out as a blog, but it is now more of a social network! Enjoy!

wow- I don't know where I was on 2/24/10, but clearly I wasn't keeping up with my Soxaholix duties. Somebody slap me. Thanks for linking that, six (and of course for the original outstanding piece, hb)

I have always been impressed and somewhat awed by the general knowledge/wordplay/opinions on display here- both by the creator and the denizens of the comments section. We're a creepy lot, all right, but an entertaining bunch of misfits- able to wax eloquently (usually) about everything from the merits of scrotal inflation to the best bars east of the Mississippi. And oh yeah- some baseball too

Is urinal froth topic 15 or 16?

Very cool, lc. Although it still pisses me off seeing fuckin' Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore on camera when the focus should have been on the team. I still won't watch Fever Pitch for that reason.

I checked with the canon:

urinal froth replaced the topic slot previously held by Lost.

Oh damn, since I mentioned Lost, does that make it a topic again? This is very hard work for me.

I dunno, lc, but I for one am bummed that Fox cancelled "Chicago Code". Always liked me some Jennifer Beals

Opinion on said topic of limited topics... so what?

Its easy to shoot holes in someone else's creativity. Not so easy to create on your own.

I would submit, h.b., that everything we all do boils down to the neverending "pursuit of happiness". And that being the case, if writing a strip makes you happy, write it. If its a drag on any given day or week or shitty start to a season, dont write it. I for one, come across very few places and groups of people (one other besides this one, in fact) that can so easily mix urine froth with poetry I ain't ne'r heard tell of (that's a very long list by the way) and then still have Natalie throw in the occasional equivalent of a chat room titty flash. That is already a lot more topics than most people's two or three consisting of politics, traffic, and weather.

My analogy for you is this: a good band does not always have a great night on stage, but for all the boys and girls who keep showing up for the fun, the scene, the music which they like even on the mediocre nights, there are the treats, the nuggets of gold that appear for those present on the great nights. Some stumble into these nights. Others just wait for them to arrive with a knowing smile. The band and the fans can not know when that is coming, but they know it will come. And in the meantime they have fun talking shit about baseball, real dolls, and whatever other crazy thing they heard about this week.

lc said it well, "do what you want...we'll be here"

Is Collngwood a topic? f so they've started 6-0. If not, I'll go have a berocca and talk to the bruin-converted-almost-8 year-old-sox-fan:

Ditto what Jeff and LC said...

My normal life has maybe 4 topics three of which I can only discuss with myself, so there you go.

h.b., check this out. Suggestions on how to optimize the website for speed. :)

Lackey is a dead loss. Worst deal EVAH.

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