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Like talking and juicing plums...

Thank you Boston Bruins for being the metaphorical spring flowers to countah radioactive Red Sox April showahs.


I hate it when the Sox lose. I really hate it when the Sox lose to the Baltimore Showalters.


For the Sox, the frustration is palpable and it's stahting to show.


Though, frustration or not, you had to love this from Beckett:

"Is this TMZ? I thought we were talking about a baseball game."


And the funniest follow-up line evah would have been the reporter immediately responding with "Josh, do you think Kate Middleton is too skinny?"


Eithah Beckett laughs or he goes bat shit berserk. Win/win.


Sigh. When the pitching's there the hitting's not. When the hitting's there, the pitching goes crap side up.


Have these guys nevah heard of "multitasking" fercrissakes?


Seriously. It's 2011. In the modern workplace no mattah how divergent the tasks, you gotta be able to go two-fer* if you want to be competitive.

[NSFW Threat Level Yellow – Elevated]



I'd love to see Papi wearing one of those hands-free breast pump corset things.

Obviously he wouldn't get any milk, but I wonder if he could pump up some mango salsa.

[harts_memory ~]$ rm -r directory_mental_image_papi_pump

I never knew Jeff Suppan was black

Returning to yesterday's theme, last night's game was a big helping of asparagus.

Thanks for that Bob, literal lol on that one. Mango salsa, indeed.

And thanks for too skinny Kate Middleton, she gets me off work tomorrow. Dig these three day work weeks.

Boston Bruins win over Montreal Actresses. All is right in the world.

Is that corset ribbed for her pleasure?

Boston Bruins win over Montreal Actresses. All is right in the world.

Is that corset ribbed for her pleasure?

Sorry for the double trouble.

ParkerStPete, was that asparagus fed to a HumanCENTiPOD?

Same here, pseudosanity. Kate Middleton totally gets me off at work tomorrow...and every day!

They're looking at this all wrong. This isn't a team that can't quit get it together; this is a team that is the reverse of most years. You know, how everything is going swimmingly until the All-Star break and then the boys go into a slow, yet stead, decline until our last little bit of hope is mathematically crushed on the bitter shoals of reality around the middle of September.

This year, it's backwards. They're going to suck until July and then the second half of the season will play like never before.

And as the philosopher Wayne Campbell would say, "shyeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt."

Carl Everett was arrested for putting a gun to his wife's head. Do you think it's because she finally found out about his curly-haired boyfriend?

Rd Sox record in games that I've watched on TV is 1-4. I may have to quit watching.

Weather forecast down here may be the Sox best hope tonight - violent storms and tornado warning may result in a rainout. Could also mean Zeus and the other Olympians are Sox fans, and they're throwing a titanic fit over that bonehead play in the outfield when Pedroia, Ellsbury, and Drew watched the 3rd out kiss the grass. 3 Showalter runs followed. Yeccch

COD, I have a similar track record in watching games and, being superstitious as I am, I decided to not watch yesterday's game to see if I could unjinx them (it worked for the Bruins). Maybe I have to not follow them in real time on the Herald website.

Maybe if Pedroia, Ellsbury, and/or Nancy had worn one of those pump devices, their hands would have been free to catch the ball...

The breast pump looks like it was designed by H. R. Giger.

yazbread: "They seem to be leathery objects, like, eggs or something...they're covered in a fine layer of mist that reacts when broken."

Beckett is such a sensitive princess...watching him scream at the umpire during the Sox highlights (TC, Eck, Rice, Gammo, Heidi Watney and Schadenfreude on NESN) I did suddenly realize that this is how you must feel about A-Rod.

More like H.R.Puffenstuff ;O

My understanding in the Carl Everett situation was that his wife, a paleontologist, told him that to say dinosaurs were a figment of the media's imagination was akin to believing that the gun he was holding to her head wasn't going to result in a restraining order.

clinton portis is representing carl everett?...oops just glanced at that story.

And all because she put Jurassic Park in their Netflix queue

Ja! Good one, greg.

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