Al Fresco

Bill:
We all know Boston is the greatest city evah.

 

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Doug:
Are you kidding me? This city is fah superiah to all othahs.

 

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Bill:
But that's not to say there aren't certain civic activities in othah cities that I envy.

 

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Doug:
Yeah, like what?

 

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Bill:
Well, for instance, I really think we could do with a bit more, you know, L.A. style rooftop dining and what not*.

*[NSFW – Level 3, Elevated]

 

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Doug:
I could get behind that all the way.

 

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Bill:
Hey, so Jet Blue now holds the naming rights in Fort Myers?

 

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Bill:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Welcome to Jet Blue Pahk."

 

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Doug:
OK does this mean that during a weathah delay they lock the doors and force the fans to remain in their seats for 11 hours?

 

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Bill:
Yeah, but you get one tiny bottle of watah and one tiny bags of peanuts on the house.

 

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Doug:
So any predictions for the coming season?

 

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Bill:
Absolutely. Matsuzaka wins the Cy Young.

 

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Doug:
!

 

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Doug:
Are you shitting me?

 

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Bill:
Look, the way I see it, if you're gonna make a prediction, make a friggin prediction.

 

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Doug:
Take it to the rooftop, so to speak?

 

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Bill:
Precisely.

 

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Comments

[Kaz]

h.b., people will come h.b. They'll come to Soxaholix for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up in the comments not knowing for sure why J.O. does. They'll arrive at your front page as innocent as virgins, longing for the RealDolls. Of course, we won't mind if you look around, you'll say. It's only a few non-GoogleAds. They'll pass over the ads without even thinking about it: for it is time they have and Sox chat they lack. And they'll head down to the comments; sit in teal dresses on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved monikers somewhere along one of the punch lines, where they read when the Sox had yet to win the World Series. And they'll read the strip and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic sriracha. The fever will be so thick they'll have to brush the sweat away from their faces. People will come, h.b. The one constant through all the years, h.b., has been baseball blogs. The Internet has rolled by like an army of lolcats. It has been erased like porn on a hard drive, redownloaded and erased again. But baseball blogs have marked the time. This site, this group: it's a part of our past, h.b. It reminds of us of all that once was good and will be every day. Oh... people will come, h.b. People will most definitely come.

[Natalie]

I love al fresco dining. Had some amazing rooftop meals in Beacon Hill back in my day.


I agree re: go big or go home predictions, although Matsusaka winning the Cy Young would mean a LOT of innings watching grass grow with paint drying atop it. I'd take it...

[Kaz]

I love al fresco dining. Had some amazing rooftop meals in Beacon Hill back in my day.

That's hot.

[h.b.]

Ah, Natalie, you always seem to find a way to ratchet it up to 11.

Teal dress, salty yum, rooftop dining... a relentless tip tap tickle on the libido.

[Harwich Rich]

Can I get a "hell yeah"???

[louclinton]

I'm wif Kaz on this one. It's later than I'm accustomed to, but my extranormal implacability is starting to shake a bit. I'll be there Friday, listening to Joe and Dave on the radio.

fatalistically,

lc

ps. go rs

[Bob]

Judging by the size of that first censor bar, Rooftop Boy also ratcheted it up to 11.

[Follower of Tito]

(with apologizes to Blazing Saddles and Madeline Kahn)

To Rooftop Boy from Rooftop Girl: "Are you excited about Opening Day or are you just glad to see me?"

Rooftop Boy: "Emmm...Errr..Go Sox!"

[LarryE]

I kinda feel that my comment yesterday about the level of your excitement about the Sox season turned into some introspective questioning on your part, h.b. After reading the rest of the comments yesterday, I just wanted to add my two cents today.

I agree with Natalie in her comment about it's darkest before the dawn. Spring Training is long and I think most Sox fans just want the season to start. Second, in terms of the number of daily hits Soxaholix gets, if indeed they are down, I would liken that to the true pink hats whose interest waned in about 2008, after the Sox won a couple championships. Your daily fans are hardcore and would be VERY disappointed if you went away. Speaking for myself, I find Soxaholix therapeutic after a tough loss and in the ability to connect to other intelligent and sophiticated Sox fans, something that can't always happen at the water cooler. I also almost always find it funny and interesting when it's not therapeutic.

Of all the millions of blogs out there in the internet ether, I only read two or three regularly and I read your virtually every day. It's something I look forward to.

Go, h.b.

[Seamus]

Will Jet Blue Park have televisions for every seat?

[Salt Water Sound]

Being a Maineiac now living in Colorado, this site is a daily stop for me. I confess to being in the same boat as another erstwhile poster yesterday. The strip and accompanying comments exhibit a comedic and rhetorical kung-fu that I can't hope to measure up to. I do however, take great delight in trolling and laughing at what you guys come up with and would sorely miss it. H.B - keep the faith. You do great work.

[James]

Oh, Natalie...If I take any heat for my lack of productivity over the course of the day, I'm sending them straight to you.

[Joe]

Dear hb,

Please, please hang in there and continue. You are a highlight of my day when I first fire up my computer. It's good to start the day with a laugh!

Joe

[jar in chicago]

Have not commented in a while but I have not missed a day, although I did get to the party late on the comments from yesterday. I get a gafaw, a snicker and chuckle from the strip daily. The likes of Kaz, LC, Bob and the crew bring there A game to the comments all the time. HB, you are their inspiration and I love your strips. I will make an effort to post more often and try to bring my A game like the rest.

Natalie, I can't help but get the feeling that you have a stalker in your life. A nice stalker but a stalker none the less. I know, a creepy thought.

[redleghockey]

I know it was those Nazi's from Kappa Sig, because if were a TKE brother the girl would have been roofied..so to speak. It was Afghanistan Nat, and Thanks

[sonomasox]

So, jar in chicago, are you saying the LC is stalking Nat? Didn't know LC was into teal.

[Bob]

Surly but cross-dressable?

[Bob]

We all know that BigBri and his basement-dwelling bretheren find real women (and even Real Dolls) to be a little too real. So here's something they should be interested in:

http://bostonherald.com/news/columnists/view/2011_0330fake_galpals_show_men_in_the_clouds/srvc=home&position=2

[Jeff in NC]

Well Bob, as my long dead pop pop used to say, "I just dont't know what this world is coming to."

Ilike the part where the website says it has a high demand, so sign up now. It doesnt tell you that the high demand is coming from a single subterranean address whose resident's name rhymes with BigBri.

[pseudosanity78]

Those pics make me so thankful I went to university before technology made it's fantastic leap forward.

While I love the internets and many of the things it contains, (Soxaholix being in the top 5) I hate to think how much psychotherapy many of these youngins will have to endure in their later life.

I certainly am happy my college exploits are safely locked away inside my head, because damn....

[Bob]

Hey, here are the renderings for Jet Blue Park. The Green Monster appears to have seats both on top and "inside."

http://www.nbc-2.com/story/14344088/new-sox-stadium-to-bear-jetblue-name

[h.b.]

Those illustrations make it look pretty sweet.

[yazbread]

TSA will run the gates at Jet Blue Park. You might get seated by the ninth inning.

[Kensington MD]

A couple of us are taking a late lunch at the sports bar Friday to look for Natalie in teal and also watch Lestah open the season.
Doesn't some national league team have teal and black uniforms?

[COD]

If cell phones had existed when I was in college my life would have been ruined. Several times.

[pseudosanity78]

The Marlins used to have teal shirts, but I don't think they do anymore. You'd have to get 'vintage', break out your Pabst and black rimmed glasses. That should be just about hipstah enough not to get slapped around. Unless of course that's what you're going for.

[jar in chicago]

The teal shirts are back in Seattle! it is their alternate jersey.

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs395.ash2/67372_453841488978_33054718978_5289390_2747245_n.jpg

[vancouversoxfan]

h.b.~ all the way from the west coast, please try to hang in there...I sense you might be down because the comments are down; but I click in nearly every day despite shift work and knowing that all of you on the East coast are asleep.

I just want you to know your humour, and the forum it provides for the rest of us creeps, is a significant part of my day.

Kaz your opening salvo today was fantastic.

Let's go Red Sox, clap-clap clap-clap-clap

[dustbunny44]

Watch out what you hit on the way to the pahk. They'll let you bring in one piece of carrion.

[Mental4sox]

I'm new to the party/pahty here, came over a few months ago courtesy of Surviving Grady. It's been a treat to open up this webpage every day and get a new Red Sox-related laugh. I appreciate your dedication to this comic, h.b. It was a welcome bright spot from the doldrums of the off-season. I'll do my best to post more & lurk less.