"Our opportunities to do good are our talents."

Mike:
Wait, wait, wait... hold up.

 

---

Mike:
Carl Demonte Crawford is not just literate, oh, no, dude is such a bibliophile that he plans to open his own bookstore?

 

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Mike:
But wait, there's more, he doesn't just want to open any old book store but an antiquarian bookstore??

 

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Mike:
But not just any old run of the fucking mill antiquairian bookstore but one specializing in the works of the Puritans???

 

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Mike:
Am I dreaming?

 

---

Susan/Circle:
Seriously, dude, when I first saw that in my Google Red Sox alert I just assumed it was an Onion story.

 

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Mike:
WTF. There's "truth is strangah than fiction" and then there's this.

 

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Mike:
I mean C-Craw is so into the whole Puritan thing that he taped a passage from the first page of Plymouth Plantation inside his high school football helmet?

 

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Susan/Circle:
And he can still quote it today!

 

---

Mike:
My nipples are hahd.

 

---

Susan/Circle:
Yeah, it's all tungsten tips ovah heah.

 

---

Comments

[yazbread]

Realizing that the search for a nickname for Crawford is still a work in progress - how about 'Curator Carl' or 'Carl the Curator'.

[Bob]

This is going to make the oddest sign ever seen in a ballpark:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/54/Of_Plimoth_Plantation_First_1900.jpg

[Rick V]

Oh, come on. That MUST be a joke.

[Steve in MD]

"The Scarlet C", maybe?

[louclinton]

I'm still, going for Crawdaddy.

lc

[Lazlo Freem]

You could cut glass with my nipples right now.

[Jeff in NC]

So the new club du jour is going to be the puritans? that's just f'ing great. becuase there isnt enough religious zealotry these days.

I would be way more impressed if I found out he worked this bullshit up with his buddies over a spliff as they giggled about what he could say to New England media that would be geographical and topical and that would be eaten up like so much chowdah.

[Go Sox. Go Heels, etc.]

http://espn.go.com/blog/boston/red-sox/post/_/id/7418/getting-to-know-crawford-and-ellsbury

Last book you've read?: "Haven't read a book in forever" !!!!

[yazbread]

A tip of the cap to Royals Review. Nicely done.

[h.b.]

I've been duped!

I feel like a Swedish chick after getting pumped and dumped by the Wikileaks dude.

[da kine]

I don't care if it is a parody; that shit made me hahd 'cause I'm into book-learnin'.

[Kaz]

"Plymouth Rock didn't land on me, I landed on Plymouth Rock!!"

--Carl X

[Harwich Rich]

I think he was smokin' a Plymouth rock ;D- just kidding C-Craw

[COD]

Speaking of outfielders...JD Drew was the only good Free Agent signing of 2006?

http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/the-train-wreck-of-2006/

[sonomasox]

love it how JDD "earned" his $14 million. Going to show that to my boss, see if I can get a raise. Hell, I've earned it.

[Natalie]

Fuckin' A, that is hilarious. I don't know what's funnier, the actual Royals Review column or our usually intrepid hb being duped. How many days til truck day, people? I need to start the countdown early this year...

[SAC]

Bewtie.

[Rob in CT, er, AL]

Cliff Lee to the Phils for a reported $100 million. Cashman and Girardi must be going out of their minds.

This is all just too good for words. And Holy F-! Lee, Halladay, Oswalt and Hamels on the same roster. Guess we know who we'll be playing in the series next year...