Toward heaven still

Your omniscient author in absentia:
Hey, your humble, creepy, pseudonymous author has the day off work from today, and it going to do some autumnal rituals, like apple picking.

And, no, that's not some euphemism for something mischievous, I mean it literally, you creeps.

My long two-pointed ladder's sticking through a tree...*

 

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Comments

[Harwich Rich]

Long weekend???

[Bob]

Yeah, sure you mean it literally, H.B. Just be sure that when you're "apple picking," you don't crank up the power to the electrode clamps too high.

[Harwich Rich]

Anyone for apple crisp? ;D

[Bob]

Another "apple picking" hint: be sure to have somebody nearby to remove the noose in case you loose consciousness.

[louclinton]

turns out there's an Apple store in Liverpool, Paradise Street West
Liverpool L1 8JF.

[Rob in CT, er, AL]

Just be careful how hard you squeeze your plums.

[yazbread]

'Apple' is the most basic metaphor for mischief. Eve, the Garden, the Fall. 'Two pointed' obviously referring to the snake/Satan. Probably picking 'apples' with that witch down in New Jersey.

[Jason O.]

Sung to the tune of "When Johnny comes marching home again":

He's 1/2 a boy and 1/2 a girl,
Tor-res, Tor-res,
He looks just like a transvestite,
Tor-res, Tor-res!!
He wears a frock, he loves the cock,
He sells his ass on the Albert dock,
Fer-nan-do Tor-res,
Carragher's bit on the side!

Seriously: If Jim Rice is in the Hall, Pettitte is a first ballot shoo-in.

[buckner was framed]

wow-
not sure which is more disturbing- the fact you expect any of us to know the tune "Johnny Comes Marching" or that you actually believe that shit about Pettite being a first round shoot in.

What's next- "Old Man Rivera"?

[Kaz]

Today is the day before Bruins hockey begins.

We don't celebrate it the way we do the night before "Opening Day" in baseball, eagerly loosening up our baseball gloves and crossing another waiting day off our calendars.

There's no "Truck Day" celebrations for taking gear to Canada because the ice was frozen in wait for blades of steel for the first time after summer had run its course. I doubt many puckheads made the trip to see the Belfast preaseason exhibition game or the Czech Republic player greetings.

No, hockey's about to start tomorrow and all the bobbleheads on TV can talk about is Tom "Bieber" Brady and Randy "Rolling Stone gathers no" Moss.

Bruins hockey is a cold, cold world.

Cold as ice.

Game ON!

[yazbread]

How can you not know the tune? It figured prominently in toy ads when I was a kid. A different time, that's for sure. Bring back the sixties.

[pseudosanity78]

What about to the tune of O Sole Mio?

[buckner was framed]

Oh, I know the tune, Yaz. I remember learning it in first grade music (which I'm sure no longer exists in this enlightened age of education reform). I just thought JO was several shades younger than I, and am surprised he chose it

[Jason O.]

Kaz, from your post:

"Blades of Steel!!!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Zfn_ape5Qw

[Jason O.]

Buckner:

I didn't make up that chant, it's used to taunt Torres by non-Liverpool fans.

1) The American Civil War has been a hobby of mine since high school, I've read a slew of books, etc, so I liked it.

2) Have you ever seen Dr. Strangelove?

3) The Pettitte/Rice comment was 1/2 in jest. There's a compelling case that BBWWAA writers admitted Rice precisely to spite sabermetrics analysts who correctly pointed out that Rice had an HOF trajectory for the first 6 years of his career, then was simply above average after that. Particularly given that his offense home/away split was so heavily skewed toward Fenway.

Sox fans have told me: Well Phil Rizzuto doesn't belong in the hall either, which is a valid argument. However, the baseball writers giving the finger to SABR analysts helps no one.

[Scott]

Wow great link Yaz.=! It's all clear to me now. Back in the day kids used to play with friggin CANNONS! Now they get bright orange & pink squirt guns. The Chinese and Muslims will surely triumph over this latest generation of pussies we have created.

[buckner was framed]

nice, Jason- thanks for the 'splainin. great "Blades" link too

[soxdownunder]

It's also how the Clash's English Civil War starts, not to mention the Dropkick Murphy's Johnny I Hardly Knew You but I'm getting sidetracked; did I mention that Collingwood won the flag?

http://picasaweb.google.com.au/soxdownunder/GrandFinalReplay#5523687379599353698

[soxdownunder]

And lc, the Reds are off to their worst start to a season since 1953 but some foreign guy says they are 'making progress':

http://www.premierleague.com/page/Headlines/0,,12306~2178678,00.html

[Bob]

Congrats, sdu! Sounds like it was a good old-fashioned butt-kicking. The hat shall be worn with pride this weekend.

Well, I'm out of here. Have a great weekend all. Hopefully we'll have something fun to yak about on Monday. (Unless you jokers actually get Monday off.)