"This trawl line is ruining my manicure."

Mike:
So this is what it's come down to, eh?

Today's Globe Headline:
"Ex-Sox are playoff players"

 

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Mike:
We're not good enough to make the playoffs ourselves, but dadgummit, our ex-playahs are! Fuck yeah!

 

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Doug:
I'm awash in civic pride.

 

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Mike:
Since when did this morph into Youth League Soccer -- "You're all winnahs!"

 

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Al:
Remembah when being a Boston sports fan was synonymous with fortitude and a rejection of whimsy?

 

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Doug:
Christ, the whole friggin' New England mythos has been dumbed down and generally pussified everywhere not just sports.

 

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Doug:
I mean look what they've gone and done to the Gorton's fishahman!

 

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Mike:
That dude isn't tough enough to captain a swan boat fercrissakes.

 

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Al:
What this place needs is a good Cotton Mathah ass kicking.

 

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Doug:
That's right, Al, bring the old school smite on.

 

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Al:
Are you kidding me? I'm so old school that me and Hecuba are headin' down to Delaware to pile some heavy stones on Christine O'Donnell.

 

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Comments

[Bob]

I hear O'Donnell weighs the same as a duck, so she's made of wood, and therefore a witch.

[Harwich Rich]

Baseball hasn't been the same for me since they started the Little League high five lines at the end of the game ;O

[Harwich Rich]

BTW-nice Python reference,Bob

[Kaz]

Look, breast cancer is bad. I get it. Please stop painting the entire fucking world pink over ONE type of cancer just because there isn't some kind of shitty holiday to hype at the end of September and beginning of October. Stop beating me over the head with a pink bat. Hell, look how stupid it's gotten. A 2005 study showed even limited alcohol use to be an antagonist of breast cancer...and there are beer and malt beverage companies coloring their brews pink to get in on the hip new trend of caring about breast cancer!

YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM, ASSHOLES! If you cared, you'd stop selling shitty pink beverages for a month to honor the fallen!

I drew this line in my mind when I saw the pink accessories (when they're pink, they're accessories, not equipment) in the NFL on Sunday. Breast cancer sucks, but this pink branding sucks more.

[COD]

At least HB didn't abbreviate her name to Chris O'Donnell. Some media outlets are doing that, and it's very distressing to me.

Also, in her new commercial, she claims she isn't a witch, she's "you." But if she can transmorph, doesn't that make her a witch?

[NolaSox]

Way to go, hb! Great strip! I knew you could do it. You really shook off the fact that the Sox are done for the year. Now, let's go, we are meeting Big Bri at Pinkberry.

[da kine]

Dammit, I was composing a witty reference to Giles Corey in my head when I saw "Cotton Mather", then you went and cockblocked me in two panels later.

[Rob in CT, er, AL]

"She turned me into a newt!"

"A newt?"

"I got better..."

"Burn her anyway!"

[Rob in CT, er, AL]

Speaking of the British, I'm a bit surprised there was no mention of Fearless Leader's latest search for the Holy Grail.

"On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place."

[yazbread]

Has politics actually sunk so low that you have to deny being a witch? But then again - she does have an innocent look about her, so now I am thinking she is probably the anti-Christ at a minimum. The Rapture? The Omen? Time to brush up on up end of times prophecies.

[ParkerStPete]

Okay, so what's the Red Sox/Chelsea fan supposed to do now? Stand up at Fenway and sing "You'll Never Walk Alone"?

[vermonter]

Speaking of former players, anyone know Matt Clement's fate. He got hit with the batted ball and then nothing about him...ever...ever. Wonder where he is and what he is doing.

Go Bruins.

[jar in chicago]

@ PSP, I am in the same boat being a Red Sox / Newcastle fan. Aw hell, it's not like I root for their Nascar team. Liverpool is getting relegated this season anyways.

Now back to the witch burning. Also when did we want to have someone just like us in politics. If I wanted somebody like me in politics I would run. I'm going to take of that self fulfilling prophecy now.

[Kev]

@vermonter Looks like he's coaching his high school's basketball team: http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/news?playerId=3938

[pseudosanity78]

I don't know about y'alls but the Gorton's Fisherman has always scared the shit out of me.

Thanks for making me piss my pants cos I gotta click every frickin' link on this creepy website.

[sonomasox]

Kenny Powers ain't no witch. Kenny Powers ain't no pussy. Kenny Powers uses a god damn hammer and a nail to clean his balls. And, there's no fucking way that Kenny mother fucking Powers wears pink...ever.

[Jeff in NC]

How about the grip that fisherman has on that pink wheel-o'-dildos?

Aaarrrggghhhhhh! or maybe, Well, Hello Sailor, can you give me a hand over here?

[louclinton]

go Liverpool?

lc

[El Jefe]

I SO used to love this site. Unfortunately, it has gone more and more political over the past couple of years (read: Sox NOT making playoffs=blame conservatives) hence, the meme.

HB, you've been turning a once 'must read' into looking like your boy Kerry bouncing out the first pitch in front of the mound.

I'll miss you greatly.

[Rob in CT, er, AL]

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, jefe.

[da kine]

El jefe, don't be un douchebag. I posted a while ago that I thought hb was a fellow-traveler conservative and there was all kinds of anti-lib shit in the comments, some of it from the proprietor of the joint. HB is an equal opportunity basher on all stripes of political assholery.

Beedub, I am one of those people who think Obama is the antichrist (not really, figuratively), and I can admit that O'Donnell is a frigging fruitloop and her shit is funny. Fucker, her commercial had to start off with "I'm not a witch."

[pseudosanity78]

Wow, I was under the impression that most people who comment on this site (be they lib, cons, libertarian, etc.) may have their beliefs but take the time out to think before they speak.

What they don't do is know when something/one is an asshole and pretend it's a fucking duck.

It's bullshit hyperbole like that that subverts the ability to have a real conversation with someone, political or otherwise.

It's called satire. Look it up.

[h.b.]

Yeah, Jeff, you couldn't be more off base.

For instance, you should follow the character Doug's tweets. Doug is a hardcore Rethuglican. Whereas Bill and Mike are pretty much classic Mass liberals. Circle is an anarchist, and Al is ambivalent.

Also please reread the Soxaholix prime directive: "HB is *NOT* the characters."

(Indeed, FWIW HB thinks Christine O'Donnell is kinda hawt. For reals. I keep bringing her into the strip because I can't stop fantasizing about her and my one eyed newt and the cauldron we could bubble together.)

With that said, though, I must be doing something right if I'm taking shit from both sides of the political aisle.

Fair and balanced. LOL.

[Jason O.]

Democrats promise that they will make you taller, thinner and will remove the crabgrass from your lawn. The GOP claims that government doesn't work, then they get elected and prove it.

--P.J. O'Rourke

[sonomasox]

@ Jason O.

That's why it's just easier to ignore the political bullshit and just join in hating the MFY.

Sorry, Jason no offense...well, yeah offense intended but you know we all think you're the smartest antichrist out there.

[dustbunny44]

That's not a fisherman. That's a model for the sprinklers-r-us workmans wardrobe catalog - turn 'em up high and that guy falls over.