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She loves the bare, the withered tree; She walks the sodden pasture lane.

The hiatus begins:
A tree stripped bare, November

The Soxaholix will return in December 2010.

Comments are turned on.



Oh well,there's nothing fun to yak about anyway :(

Enjoy!! Thanks for all you do.

I always wanted to know what Lisa looked like naked.

My Sorrow's damn well here with me; stayed up 'til midnight and nothing to show for it.

Enjoy the respite, hb. Hope its restorative and reinvigorating. And happy Thanksgiving to everyone here at Soxaholix. Eat some turkey and stuffing for me, stuck here working in the cold, rainy UK.

Love the tree, H.B. Enjoy your time off!

somewhere, Vince Guaraldi is tuning up...

enjoy the time off, hb (and everyone else). And thanks

I saw a few of Natalie's vacation pictures via Twitter last week. Don't buy the "woe is me" story as she had a much better week last week than any of us that were working!

And by the way, when did Grady Little start coaching the Patriots?

Staryting Thursday, I won't be back until December, either (the pre-wedding Honeymoon).

BTW, anybody here interested in Pats' tickets to the December 13 game against the Panthers? Face value. First post on this creepy site gets them. Starting tomorrow, they'll be offered to people at work.

Too bad about the weather in the UK...it is nice and sunny & warm here in Kailua. For the whole Robert Frost poem, go to:


Fail Blog -- Cop Fail. Not sure whether the 911 call or the people off camera laughing are funnier.

"Time is moving really, really, really, really slow"

Have a happy Turkey Day.


I'll take those tix if still available. Or trade them for a Bruins game

I'm pretty sure this is a soxaholix poem... look at all the references to Lisa the Temp and the one about Manny Ramirez...

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth's sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in Summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.

-- Joyce Kilmer

Buck, they're yours.

Can you meet up Thursday after work? I have a client in town and am unavailable until about 8:15 every night until Thursday. But if 8:15/8:30 is okay, I can meet you any night through Thursday.

Happy Hiatus everyone; thanks for all hb. Good luck with the wedding bob and I still say Sydney is the honeymoon capital of the WORLD!


I only follow the NFL season so far as I think the Pats are in the running. Last night's game effectively cancelled the season for me. Onward to the B's and Celts.

yb and other stats geeks:

check this out, defending BB:


Sorry, still need a link tutorial.

HB - Thanks for the ridiculous effort over the years. Have a great break from the creepy.

Thought I posted this, but I guess I screwed up somehow.

Anyhow, even while h.b. isn't posting, people may want to check out the Facebook group called "Soxaholix Fans". I might post some stuff in the discussion section in the interim.

You can also find me at http://www.twitter.com/DrKaz.

Thanks for the reminder on that, Kaz.

I'll also be tweeting bits here and there: http://www.twitter.com/hartbrachen.

Will Lisa be tweeting during the hiatus?

I need to try to fire up Lisa on Twitter again.

I had *no* idea how difficult it would be to try and have the various characters use Twitter. Or maybe I just suck at it?

some of the twitter apps let you run multiple accounts from one platform, HootSuite is one of them I believe...

Well, yeah, it's not being able to run multiple accounts that makes it difficult.

It's trying to actually have the characters tweet something that is 1) worth reading 2) fits their personality, i.e., something Bil or Doug or Susan etc would actually say or think 3) isn't bound by Red Sox talk since, presumably, the tweets would be reflections of their inner-lives of which being a Sox fan is but one component.

Then do all of the above a minimum of 1 time a day (but preferably 3+ times a day) for each character. Oh, and to make it more realistic, the tweets should occur at all hours of the day, any day.

"It's trying to actually have the characters tweet something that is 1) worth reading..."

I don't think you quite understand how this "Twitter" thing works... ;)

hah. good point Kaz.

My Twitter account hasn't seen a post in months - I have nothing worth reading to say. Well except on this site - or at least that's my little self-delusion.

I could go the Kutcher way and post something like "uh, my balls itch right now. uh, not anymore".

I like it for posting funky links or quick one liners that I may find amusing. it's better than getting a email with the subject "FW: FW: FW: FW: RE: FW: FW: OMG look at this!"
going forward, I'll be posting as my twitter name - lobstaman. one less user name to keep in my alcohol infused cranium.

hb - thought this hiatus was about you getting some downtime not going nuts trying to figure out pithy lines for our creepy friends in the office to tweet.

chill out - I have no doubt it'll come when when all is ready.

Well, it's off to the Caribbean. Have a great weekend all. Hopefully we'll have something fun to yak about on Monday (December 14).

Have a great time down there, Bob! See you in a month!

Also, happy belated birthday, Bob. Best to you and Abby. Hope you have a great pre-wedding honeymoon down there...

Do they have sriracha down on the islands?

Enjoy your break H.B. and your "pre-wedding honeymoon" Bob.

Something to yak about: an MLB this AM caller suggested the Sox trade for Halladay the same way they traded for Becket, i.e., taking Vernon Wells (and his salary) in the deal. Y'all think we can catch lightning in the bottle twice?

You have a great sports blog here. This is my first time visiting but I'm liking it! I have two sports blogs myself. We need to stick together. I'd like us to exchange links to help spread some traffic around to each other.

Let me know if this is possible.


Ive been reading for years.. just wanted to give a shoutout to Kailua Phil..

nice to see another Hawaii Sox fan.

UCONN finally wins one for Jazz.
Sorry Charlie :\

10-0 Saints. The Monday night game should be fun. My loyalty is to the Black and Gold since I didn't follow football until I moved here.

9-1 Spurs. Looks like Natalie chose well.

Rex Ryan is a douche

Is it December yet? (Should I really be missing Hart's daily revelations and all the fun from the peanut gallery this much? Damn...)

Happy Thanksgiving eveyone. I trust there's plenty of cranberry sauce in everyone's cupboard. Oh, and for you Yankee fans, here's the bird.

sdu - you don't know what you're missing. T-Day is the best thing going -- ever. My favorite holiday of the year. Nothing but good food, family, long weekends and football (no, the other football.

Enjoy everyone. See you in December.

Is it really called "football" when it's Detroit playing, Rob?

Happy Turkey Day, everyone!

(omg, he didn't say "Thanksgiving"...I bet he says "Happy Holidays" too, the heathen.)

Turned out to be a real game between Detroit and Cleveland this weekend, Kaz. Miracles happen every day (you heathen!)


I'l personally be cheering for ABD this weekend.

(Anybody But Dallas)

Hmmmm, so hb announces a hiatus at the exact same time our beloved Bob casually mentions that he will see us again on Dec 14th.... I ask you, has anyone ever seen the two of them together in the same place at the same time??

Have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving everybody- enjoy the blessings of family and the hot stove wherever you may be

Hey all you reprobates.

I hope that the Thanksgiving Turkey comes down your chimney to greet your family and friends with harmony and peacefulness.

and so forth.

That said, here is what I am thankful for this year.

1. VMart
2. My Little Pedroia
3. Jacoby
4. Rockets Matsusaka
5. Tito
6. Theo
7. Truck Day
8. This creepy strip

Here's what I am not thankful for.

1. ___________ of the WCMFNYYankees
2. The guy who fucked me on season tickets for next year.
3. Fenway Park, the House That Beer Built.
4. Wally
5. Sarah Palin
6. Nancy

Love you, love the show.



A possible early Christmas present "The New York Daily News, citing a source, wrote that the Red Sox are putting on a "full-court press" to land the former Cy Young Award winner with the goal of pulling off such a transaction before the Winter Meetings start in Indianapolis on Dec. 7."

And Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

so long Gonzo, hello Scutaro?

So, we're going to pay almost all of Lowell's salary next year and pick up a completely unproven third catcher instead? What part of this actually makes sense again?

I had the same thought Kaz. If we are paying his salary anyway I'd rather have him on the team.

But hey, we got Boof Bonser!

The only Boof I want on my team is Susan Ursitti.

Need a catching prospect to get Halladay? That is, Ramirez is this year's Andy Marte?

Thanks for turning the comments on, hb. Glad you are re-tooling, so to speak.


mrs sdu devastated by the potential trade of 'Mikey' Lowell to the Rangers. Quoth she: don't they understand the aesthetic appeal.

and how many times will we have to endure, "You know, Joe, they're not actually booing. They're yelling 'Boooooooof'"

no Soxaholix for another few weeks? sigh....

Whatsamattah, daubie? We ain't good enough for yah?

Sounds like Bay might go to the Mets. He's offered 4/65M which is about 5 past the Sox latest offer to him.

Wow. what an off season so far.

1) I feel like the Redsox have a Cadillac budget and they are at a Mercedes car lot. they want to buy, but just ain't ready to go large.

2) If all we can get for Lowell is a warm body and a $12M salary invoice, I feel like that equates Lowell to Lugo. I believe Theo et al are smart, but this begs a big fat WTF?

3) For any and all Dune fans such as myself, you will recall how Paul Atreides and later the God Emerporer and many others with strong prescience (a most worthy trait that MLB GM's are supposed to posess) had blind spots within their prescience that kept them from ever seeing certain things in the universe. Sometimes these blind spots were created by enemies, but blind spot nonetheless. Theo is to the right side of the infield, as Paul was to the Golden Path.

right left fuck it. Shortstop.

You have a great blog here. I found it on one of my friend's sites. I have a blog myself where people from around the world come and debate on popular issues. I am telling you this because after looking at your blog I know you can provide some valuable input to many readers of my site.

I also would like to exchange links with you to help spread some traffic around between us. If you wish, please leave a comment under my "Compadres" page when you have placed my link up and I'll return the favor.

Keep up the good work.


Jason, eat shit.

Debate that out, spambot.

Back from the Caribbean cruise. They had a satellite sports bar, so I'm pretty up-to-date. Especially about soccer and the greatest cricket players of all time.

Even if they do manage to sign Beltre, this Mikey trade makes absolutely no sense to me. Pay $12 mil to create a hole at 3rd base? When we won't go an extra $5 mil to keep Bay? WTF, Theo? Was it really Jed Hoyer's smarts all along?

I've got nothing baseball related...the stove remains way too cool.

So - a big shout out to my alma mater, UVa, grabbing the soccer National Championship yesterday.

Go 'Hoos!

Welcome back, Bob.

How about those World Cup draws?

Not Anymore: Lackey to Boston, 5 years, $85 mil. Halladay to the Phillies, Cliff Lee to the Mariers and a ton of propects to the Blue Jays.

not that hot on Lackey.
Questionable injuries and always seems like a giant pussy come playoff time.

Lackey in Boston; Lee in the AL West, and Halladay in the NL sure beats having any of them in a mfy uniform.

I'd just like to say these words:


That is all.


not going to be surprised if either Bay or MH end up w/ the MFYs

This Lackey signing and the trading away of Lowell means Buccholz is gone to San Diego, and Adrian Gonzalez is at first, and Youk is at third next year. Or they sign Beltre and let Beckett walk after his contract is up.

What I don't understand is the supposed signing of Mike Cameron to play LF.

Not sure how I feel about Lackey either. On one hand, beats the shit out of the do nothing approach. On the other, it's John Lackey. If he doesn't pitch well, he can at least out ugly the batters and whine a lot when he loses.

and Mike Cameron seems to be an ackowledgment that the Redsox are not going to spend as necessary to get Bay or Holliday. Sure hope our pitching is lights out this year.

and I am thoroughly enjoying the Damon wants more $ than his team wants to give him saga. Name that tune in 6 notes or less.

Turning to some news that is actually very exciting, the New Orleans Jazz Fest has announced its lineup for this coming Fest. One of the best ever.

Nola - I'll see you there with my boogie shoes on.

the seismic shift of matsui moving his porn stash to the west coast did nothing to cause h.b. to stir from his slumber?

i reckon if a tiger woods sex scandal couldn't do it i shouldn't be surprised.

MC may play center w/ the Native in LF. JDD can just play 20 ft in RF and not much will drop.

Adding AG will be a nice bat...hope you're right Madraider.

Seeing how nobody saw Lackey coming - Theo et al may have a few more tricks

count me among the doubters on Lacking.... He's the Peyton of starting pitchers. Everything's cool until someone boots a ball and therefore gets thrown under a bus. Also, I'm firmly in the "I want nothing to do with Miguel Cabrera" camp....

As for Gonzalez, he'll sure look nice in the home whites, but I don't see it happening until the trade deadline at the earliest. If you're Jed Hoyer, why not wait until the Sox limp their way thru the first half with an impotent lineup and drive up the price? Don't see it happening unless Theo blows him away with an offer

Oh, and welcome back, Abby and Mr. Abby

Acquire 1B/3B (one Adrian or the other), and you have a functional team. Probably still top 5 offense, definitely top 5 pitching.

So, I'm an uncle now.

Uncle Hulka??...and his big toe?? :D

Uncle Festivus?

...and now the feats of strength :D

Congrats Kaz on being an uncle. I have always liked Cameron he has always done well and I think he will surprise us. I am glad we didn't bring Bay back, I always felt that last year was an aberration and that he was never going to put up the same numbers. Not a Holliday fan either.

For the rest of us I'll bring the aluminum pole.

kinda like Mike Cameron

Rob Neyer over at ESPN.com has Cameron as the 36th best player of the decade:

"36. Mike Cameron - Exactly the sort of player who's usually underrated: Low batting average, but midrange power, solid baserunning and outstanding defense in center field made Cameron better than you probably thought."

Okay. I can live with that.

(Oh, and congratulations Uncle Kaz!)

what to give up for Adrian?

I'm reading Ellsbury is in the mix. No thanks. Send Clay and a few prospects.

Ellsbury blocks Reymond Fuentes, the question is if you send off Ells who do you sign to play left that won't block Reddick/Kalish or Westmoreland?

I think trading for Gonzalez is contigent on the Sox signing Chapman. It's easier to give up a top pitching prospect if you can plug another back into the pipeline

never been one to buy into this whole "blocks so-and-so" routine. Give me a proven MLB player over a supposedly can't miss prospect any day. Seen too many "untouchables" who just didn't pan out, dating back to, oh I dunno, Ted Cox and Eric Wedge.

Cameron is a downgrade over Bay's bat. How much defense does it take to play left field at Fenway?!

Paying Lowell to play for another team is the most ridiculous move in team history. Yet another reason why Theo has to go.

Happy Holidaze. Bah Humbug!

Ah, the lazy, frigid days of December.

Have a great weekend all. Hopefully we'll have something fun to yak about on Monday.

ahh Max Ramirez, we hardly knew ye.

She walks the sodden streets of Boston. Yawkey Way and Lansdowne, sad and lonely. She wonders where the banners went, the hopes the dreams, the wishes sent. She turns and looks with hopeful sigh. Why can't they win? She wonders why...

{As always, apologies to Roger Angell}

Greetings, Friends
Please draw near
To hear about last Red Sox' year.

The triumphs, the failures
The weak and the strong
The boneheads, the Lugos
J.Bay and beyond

Say hey, Kevin Youkillis,
He of the chin mop,
Zut Alors! D. Pedroia
His motor don't stop.

And on to Jacoby,
then Nancy and V Mart
Two out of 3
Can make Theo look smart.

A Wassail for Heidi!
Some cheese for the Eck
Welcome Back Jerry Remy!
The fill-ins were dreck.

A toast for the bullpen!
Fill up your tankard
Oki, and Wagner,
Saito and Bard.

Of course, a special word of thanks
For Tito, always closing ranks.
Millsy, Bogar, Hale and all the others
You'd think these guys were really brothers.

They're not! You cry.
You're Right, I shout.
Mike Lowell
Are you in or out?

Redass Beckett
Dumbass Paps
All the broads in
Their Pink Caps

This is the season!
One happy nation!
We hope Manny liked
His summer vacation

Which reminds me,
Huzzah Big Paps
We're still convinced
You have the chops.

Varitek? Eh,
Though you implore us
We sort of hate you,
Scotty Bora$

Dice-K, styling, won the Classic
Then he nibbled, I got carsick
Bucholz, Lester, Wakefield's legs
Monster seats, foul-smelling kegs

Month- old beer, dogs a-plenty
Larry, is there change from twenty?
"I think not. We've mouths to feed.
We'll squeeze you till your eyeballs bleed"

A special hug
To the dirty dickhead
Who shut me out from
My season tickets.

No disrespect, sir
(no intent, but)
I hope you're hit
By a cement truck

Back to the park and have a drink
My infield's now a hockey rink.
We have to monetize the Winter
Frozen as the Splendid Splinter

Joe Castig and Dave O'Brien
Rish, God Bless him, keeps on trying.
Henry, with his wife-slash-daughter
Was that a Kobe Ring her bought her?

And so we look to Twenty-Ten
Whither Gonzalez?
If so? When?

Collect the Mistletoe and Holly
Kiss those red socks, embrace Wally
It Christmas Time, a Holiday
(Not Matt or Roy: we wouldn't pay)

Spring arrives, the Sox are better;
Feed the baby, mail your letter.
Christmas again, and peace on earth:
Godspeed, good friends, for what it's worth.

Your pal


That's the most enjoyable thing I have read on these iterwebs in quite some time.

Thank you lc. Merry Christmas, etc., etc.

and Soxfan, nice little picture you painted as well.

Don't know much about poetry, not even after all of h.b.'s helpings piled on my plate, but I know what I like when I read it. Some say kind of the same thing about obscenity. I'm good with obscenity, too. Most of it anyway.

Merry Christmas to you all, hope you enjoy the little snow you received this weekend.

My alma mater won it's first ever bowl game.

All I need is a big righthanded bat that can post an ops over 1.000 in Fenway to make my Christmas bright.

nicely done, lc.

Merry Christmas, fellow creeps

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas... Oh wait, we are going to have a white Christmas! And my early Christmas present is watching all these Maryland natives try to drive in it - it's either laugh or cry.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!

Bravo lc, bravo.

and a most joyous non-denominational wintertime holiday giving season to one and all.

"White Christmas" =

A) There's snow on the ground. Tada.

B) It actually snows on December 25th.

I've always been more of a (B) because it's obviously more rare. But it seems like everyone else I know has been saying that it's more (A). Is it because that way they can tout having had more "White Christmas"es? Oh well.

Happy Holidays to all of you Soxaholix out there!

Nicely done LC! And a happy and creepy holiday season to all the Soxaholix.

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