Doody in the pool

Mike:
Hey, long time no see, Circle.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Yeah, you know how it is. I've been been busy with my second job.

 

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Mike:
Oh, really?

 

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Susan/Circle:
Yes, it came to my attention that the mahket for the tie-around, hemp-fabric, shaft and nut sack was like totally untapped.

 

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Mike:
Ah, the perfect stocking stuffah!

 

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Susan/Circle:
Speaking of bad ideas, rumah has it that A-Rod's gone and knocked up Kate Can Be Used as a Runway Hudson.

 

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Mike:
Ewww.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Yeah, talk about tossing a Baby Ruth into the gene pool.

 

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Mike:
I wondah if A-Rod will write a book for this kid like he did the last one, remembah the dedication?

"For the greatest gift God has given me, for my precious little angel, Natasha Alexander."

 

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Susan/Circle:
Oh, I believe so. The new dedication could go something like this:

"For the othah greatest gift God has given me, for my precious little bastard..."

 

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Mike:
Hey, they don't call him A-Fraud for nothing.

 

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Susan/Circle:
I'm just glad that it seems Alex has found a new friend.

 

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Mike:
What do you think they're talking about?

 

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Susan/Circle:
"Hey, little fellah in the velvet brown jacket, I have these gatherings at my pad, you know, just a few guys hanging around the man cave …"

 

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Mike:
"Say, you don't mind you mind if I call you, Jetes, do you?"

 

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Comments

[da kine]

I seriously don't get it. Never mind that he's a MFStankee, is A-Rod attractive to females? Are blue lips in this year? Jeter I can sorta understand. He isn't goofy looking, just feminine. But A-Fraud?

Oh, and Hudson ain't even hot. I'd take her Mom from the early-70s over her any day.

[Rob in CT]

A-Fraud and Kate Hudson? Sounds like a match made in heaven. They could remake "10 Things I Hate About You."

Speaking of books (9th panel), I really found this depressing...

[Go Sox. Go Heels. Yankees Suck. Dook Sucks.]

How about the Sox pitching last night? For all of you crybabies who think the season's over because our second stringers lost a few games in a row, here's some advice: Unbunch those panties, have a cold beer, wipe your nose, and relax. These guys know how to play in the playoffs. Maybe they win, maybe they lose. But they're going to show up and play hard.

[Bob]

My allergies are so bad right now, all I can see is sneeze. I assume H.B.'s strio is brilliant.

Nice effert by Lester last night (sneeze).

[Bob]

I see dead pollen...

[Rob in CT]

Gesundheit!

[madraider]

It was a 3-0 win over a very anemic Cleveland team. Lester should look good against these jokers, I guess I feel a bit better cause his knee isn't all messed up from that wicked liner. There doesn't seem to be any magic in this team this year.

Do you bite the bullet and keep little Papi off the play-off roster? I think I do.

[madraider]

Also in that scary scary kids book, doesn't it look like wee Alex was already on the "boli"?

[ParkerStPete]

I guess that's what happens when you try to use a hemp nutsack as a condom. Ouch! Or maybe not. Ladies?

[madraider]

Anybody else think the merchandising is outta control when they're selling AL Wild Card "Champs" clothing and gold plated commemorative coins?

Then comes ALDS champs merchandise then ALCS champs merch. The only stuff I'll buy is World Series champion merchandise, cause really thats all that matters. If you don't win it all might as well be swept out in the first 3 games. Winning a playoff series and not winning the world series is like kissing your sister, big bri might be able to enlighten us on that.

HB great strip today.

[madraider]

One more thing then I'll shut up for the day, looks like A-Rod found his realtor, masseur in the special 70th anniversary edition box of The Wizard of Oz. How's that lollipop guild workin out?

[louclinton]

I wouldn't buy any WS crap. I don't even own a RS hat. When I go to Larry's Piss Palace on Sunday, I'll be the only person without RS gear on.

I do have some plaid RS pj pants, though.....

lc

[Kaz]

I'm with you, lc. I don't buy any of that crap except for a hat each year we've won the World Series (I mean, you had to in 2004, right? Because who knew when the next time would come and it was so great to break the drought and all...and then 3 years later, the hat was really showing its wear and I needed a new one).

Oh, and my Ortiz jersey. Had to get a nice replica jersey.

Right, and that Coco-Cola shirt from da kine and his brother before Coca-Cola made them take it down.

Oh, and my "road jersey blue" t-shirt.

But, yeah, other than that, I'm right there with you, lc. *respect knuckle tap* You and me, bro.

[h.b.]

I'm stuck in the middle. I bought some Red Sox stuff after the WS but I never wear it. I like to wear my Spinners stuff though.

[louclinton]

never bought one. not even in 04

[Kaz]

Exactly, lc! That's exactly what I'm talking about.

Never bought one. You and me, man, you and me.

*gestures with two figures from my eyes to your eyes*

Like twins, the way we think.

[Jason O.]

You can sell that bullshit to the tourists, I know louclinton wears those rub-on decal tattoos on his cheeks every time he goes to Fenway.

Have you seen the video of the crowd reaction to Chicago's Olympics elimination?...fucking priceless.

[louclinton]

fuck off jason O.

No disrespect

[Rob in CT]

Yeah, Jason. Kinda reminded me of Yankee fans this decade. Will they celebrate Mardi Gras in the Bronx this year?
:-D

They've got a zoo in the Bronx. You should know better than to poke surly, but loveable tigers with a stick.

[Natalie]

I think the penis cozy is an idea whose time has come. So sexy- raowr!


All my Sox gear I owe to the Soxaholix and do enjoy wearing my hat on walks with the dog in Hyde Park. You find likeminded fans that way. I just saw a British guy (non-expat, in other words; could tell from the accent) wearing a Sox hat in the grocery store and wanted to say something, but he was with his two young kids and I didn't want to appear like a crazy stalker chick Sox zealot, so... I just smiled and waited my turn at the register :)

[h.b.]

I'm always happy when the words "penis" and "cozy" are use in a sentence. Just feels right on so many levels.

[madraider]

I'm still rockin my fitted cap I picked up over a decade ago, although my mom hooked me up with a nice flexfit Benjamin Moore Sox cap I work into my rotation as well.

Yankee fans are like slinkys; not good for much but alot of fun to push down stairs.

[Kaz]

You can peddle your "penis cozy" however you like. But I'm trademarking the name of my version:

The Schlong Sling!

[yazbread]

Chicago loses the bid and the mother of all cost overruns died with it.

[Bob]

Penis, cozy.

Horny, Porny.

7.25, schneven point schno- five.

I gotta go take a nap; busy weekend: Sox tomorrow night, Pats Sunday afternoon.

Have a great weekend all.

Hopefully we'll have something fun to talk about on Monday.

Penis cozy.

[Bob]

http://www.improperetiquette.com/sitebuilder/images/Penis_Cozies-600x400.jpg

[h.b.]

Yaz,

Something tells me that the mother of all cost overruns is alive and well in the hearts of many in Washington.

Stimulus?

I've got your penis cozy right here.

[louclinton]

am i the only one who thinks that that thing looks scratchy

[h.b.]

scratchy yes.

I'm still trying to figure out that thing's real purpose. Is it for some crazy holistic healing exercise where people role play and crap and the hemp shaft/sack is so you can identify the creepy male [insert fave feminist pejorative]?

[Mike E!]

Madraider, you're not talking about leaving David Ortiz off the playoff roster, are you? I must be out of the loop, because I have no idea who "Little Papi" is.

[Rob in CT]

Kaz -

Wouldn't that be Schlong Schling?

[Rob in CT]

And by the way Kaz, when did you take up knitting?

Did you learn from Rosie Grier's book?

[Devine]

"no magic"

What about those weeks in the summer where 2-out RBI rained like candy at a parade? What about the 15-5 stretch before Wakefield and the 'pen blew it against KC and Tito started yanking starters and subbing scrubs?

Momentum and magic are overrated. Lester and Beckett (if they are healthy) at the top of your rotation are not overrated. Also, no one get scared of a bad start this week. Beckett laid an egg in his last regular season start against the Twins in '07, then went nuclear in October.

This team is better than last year's (Kotsay and Tek won't be starting, for one thing, if no one gets hurt), and that team sniffed the World Series. No guarantees they'll win a game against the Angels, but they have a great shot.

[jhammo]

madraider says bench Ortiz, who has the 3rd or 4th most HRs in the majors since he hit his first of the year. Bad start aside he's not the same Papi as 3 or 4 years ago, but still better than most of the DHs anywhere. Leave him off the roster? I don't know if you're stupid or trying to bait me, or what. I'm guessing bait, but whatever.

Magic is a businessman who owns many Starbucks and 24 hr Fitness franchises, and who once upon a time joined a guy named Bird as the 2 greatest basketball players ever. Magic is not a commodity needed for a team to succeed in the playoffs. Might as well start fucking talking seriously about aura and mystique.

[Scott]

In other news the Rockies clinched yesterday. It was a fun afternoon at the park and evening at the local watering holes. Welcome to ROCKTOBER here in Denver.

[louclinton]

I'm going to market The Penise Valise

[Bob]

How about the LapFlop?

I'll go away now.

[h.b.]

// How about the LapFlop? //

They've actually found a cure for this involving two bath tubs, a sunset, and a pill.

[madraider]

We know they won't leave Captain Over The Hill off the roster, and yes contrary to popular belief he'll still be starting because of his "intangibles" and won't bat Ortiz down around say 6 or 7 where he belongs now, he just kills so many rallies. So I'd rather have Ortiz left off the roster, Jason Bay DHing, somebody who can cover more ground in left either Baldelli or Reddick, defense and pitching is gonna win it.

[madraider]

Scratch that, keep Bay in left, let Lowell dh, Victor at first and Youk at third.

[madraider]

Oh and since y'all think I'm crazy now, might as well think I'm coldhearted too, I'd DFA Ortiz after the season, keep Variteks option, telling him he's gonna catch somewhere about 30% of the time and rotate the dh duties between Lowell, and V-Mart with a smattering of Bay and Youk to keep everybody fresh.

[Larry Here]

Does that penis cover thingy prevent pregnancy and stds? And I hope it's real stretchy. I love gear made from shemp.

[soxdownunder]

Paint drying on grass.
Grass growing, intangible:
Mothra tuning up.

[soxdownunder]

dusty
!!

[louclinton]

I think Devine's comment deserves careful attention