Wishing well

Doug:
So let me get this straight — Beckett has been the suck for a month now, giving up homahs like the government give out cheese, but we are to take solace that perhaps, perhaps, he's ovah the slump/injury/wtf-ails-him because "he settled down to hold the Rays in innings 3-6 last night."

 

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Mike:
I know. I haven't seen this much wishful thinking since my buddy Murph fell in love with the strippah.

 

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Mike:
"Mike, Mike, she's *really* into me. I mean why else would she ask me and not some othah guy to pay for her boob job?"

 

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Doug:
Poor Murph. He's like an NL pitchah in an AL world.

 

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Mike:
Brad Penny. 8 shutout innings.

 

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Mike:
Why do I get the feeling that if Dice-K was traded to the NL he'd pitch back to back perfect games?

 

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Doug:
I think the Red Sox finally have Matsuzaka figured out.

 

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Mike:
You mean the training regimen and off day pitch counts?

 

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Doug:
Well, turns out it wasn't the training, it wasn't the language, or the baseball size or the strike zone differences — nope, turns out our American toilets were just, you know, not Japanese enough.

 

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Comments

[da kine]

I want to see the next in the series of pictures from that link. It looks like the start of something special...

[Harwich Rich]

I think he's turning Japanese,I really think so.

[Soxdownunder]

Matsuzaka San
Many and varied they are
Jap. toilets are cool.

(I particularly like the in built bidets)

[Matt of CT]

The NL is a friggen joke. How the hell can a guy who could barely get out of the 6th inning here hit the left coast and toss a gem?
If the Nats were in the AL, they'd go 0-162

[Bob]

SDU, I was just talking to Abby about bidets last night. I want one. Soothing, cleansing, less toilet paper, too much information...

BTW, H.B.:

//Why do I get the feeling that if Dice-K was traded to the NL he'd pitch back to back perfect games?//

Coffee-out-of-the noser.

[Bob]

//Why do I get the feeling that if Dice-K was traded to the NL he'd pitch back to back perfect games?//

Although the combined times of those two games would be 12 hours and require the groundskeepers to paint the grass.

[COD]

I see a new opportunity for Theo here. Red Sox under achieving pitchers are apparently sure things in the NL. That should open up some trade opportunities.

[Harwich Rich]

Has it really been 1 year,Nat???

[Natalie]

One year, Harwich Rich. Can you believe it? So thrilled I made the move to London...despite the lack of easy Sox watching.

Based on today's title I am expecting some Soxaholix far more clever than I to adapt the Terence Trent D'arby lyrics for the current state of the Sox. :)

[Lazlo Freem]

Suppose the RS just move to the NL East?

[da kine]

Bob, I have five (5!) bidets in my house, and I have no idea how to use them. I think I am scared to even try, and I definitely don't want to use google to find instructions.

[Bob]

//Hugging like a monkey see
Monkey do
Right beside a riverboat gambler
Erotic images float through my head
So I wanna be
Your midnight rambler//

Nat, it'd take a better person than me to do something clever with those lyrics.

[Kaz]

I posted this late last night after hearing that Hinske had hit a HR for the Yankees against the O's. Let's see if it gets more action by reposting it this morning:

If Eric Hinske plays for the O's next year, he'll have played for every AL East team during his career. Not an easy feat, even in this era of free agency.

Trivia question: What current MLB player is the only one to have played for every team in an entire division?

[Natalie]

Admittedly those lyrics are crap, Bob, but I always liked the beat of that song, and his If You Let Me Stay rocks a playlist or two on my iPod. TTD was a fave of mine in my pre-teen years: I can remember hearing "If You All Get to Heaven" for the first time on an episode of 21 Jump Street, how funny is that.

Now I am dating myself... ;)

[Joe]

Headline in this morning's San Francisco Examiner: "Penny Worth Every Cent".

Grrrrr.

[Kaz]

Now I am dating myself...

That's hot.

[Jeff in NC]

re: Penny, If he stays good, and that is a big if, and Smoltz plays reasonably well... is it the NL? or is it Farrell?

I know the NL lineups are a little weaker, but 8 innings lights out v. can't make it through 5 in the AL? WTF?

[Jeff in NC]

almost forgot.. am I the only one who gets a perfectly good Beavis and Butthead chuckle every time Orsillo makes the call that the batter "fisted that one" into right for a base hit?

Wife just says I'm a pig.

[NolaSox]

TTD came to mind for me when I saw the title, too. And I am glad to have that song in my head rather than the Barry Manilow crap I had on my cranial soundtrack after yesterday's strip - I will spare y'all that misery by not naming it - let's just say it kind of rhymes with the empty blue ball park.

[Jim]

Can't figure it out...suck in Boston, shine in NL. What else could it be other than the quality of opponents?

HB - is today's title a nod to Bob Mould?

[Rob in CT]

Speaking of Don Orsillo, there's an interesting little article on WSJ's online edition today about who's the chattiest radio baseball announcer. Orsillo comes in 12th out of the 30 listed at 81.73 wpm. Vin Sculley tops them all at 143.51 wpm, but is asterisked because he works the booth alone. The Cardinals' Dan McLaughlin comes in 2nd (or 1st for a shared booth) at almost 110 wpm. Interesting factoidal piece. Here's the link (sorry, no mad HTML skillz today).

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204731804574389073527854120.html#mod=article-outset-box

[Rob in CT]

Nola - just to turn the "eff with the gang" switch to "True", that song wouldn't have been:

"At the Copa, Copa Cabana.

The hottest night spot in Havana...."

Sorry, I'm feeling unusually evil today.

[Rob in CT]

Oh, and sorry for screwing up the page formatting with that last link.

Or am I? >:-)

[Bob]

"Two and two to Harvey Kuenn...one strike away...here's the wind-up and the pitch...swung on and missed, a perfect game!"

Vinny may talk a lot, but he's mellifluous.

[NolaSox]

Lalalala, Rob, I can't hear you.

Hey, Kazflac Duck, can we get a hint?

[Billy Mahty]

Sabbath:

Throw me a penny and Ill make you a dream
You find that lifes not always what it seems, no no
Then think of a rainbow and Ill make it come real
Roll me, Im a never ending wheel
Ill give you a star
So you know just where you are
Dont you know that I might be
Your wishing well
Your wishing well

[h.b.]

// HB - is today's title a nod to Bob Mould? //

Nope. Not Mould, not Terence Trent D'arby. Much simpler and, perhaps, cruder.

Wishing = Hoping Beckett returns to form and Murph hoping to make it with stripper.

Well = the Japanese toilet in the photo.

Stupid, yeah, but sometimes you just need to slap a title on and move it out.

[Rob in CT]

Why give that away, hb? Part of the joy and fun of this creepy space is the multiple layers (intentional or unintentional) of meaning you and the readers put into the work. I remain impressed by the quality of the references made in the strip and responding posts. And you all bring it every day(!) Music to literature to pop culture to history to.. oh yeah, beisabol. Don't sell yourself so short!

[Jeff in NC]

h.b., that is so cool. Not casting aspersions on anyone who found greater meaning in the title than was actually there, but I have this great laugh about us (us being people in general) and our ability to overplay and over read shit. (I, a past, present and forever deadhead, can find cosmic meaning in anything - fucking ridiculous to say the least, but there I am).

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

[Rob in CT]

Jeff --

"Number 9... Number 9... Number 9... Number 9... Number 9... Number 9... Number 9... Number 9... "

Heh.

[h.b.]

Jeff,

Or as Freud might say, "Sometimes a woman's head popping out of a toilet is just a woman's head popping out of a toilet."

[Jeff in NC]

The Dark Side of the Rainbow

[Jeff in NC]

or one of my personal favorites, watching the Grateful Dead during their last performances at the Boston Garden - still a few years before being torn down, still before Jerry G died, still expecting to play there again - or were they? "Brokedown Palace" played as an encore - "Gonna leave this broken down palace..." ah, the meaning, the foreshadowing, the premonition, the tribute, the... shit, it's just a song and after 6 nights they were running out of shit to play.

[Kaz]

NolaSox, here's a hint:

The division is the NL West.

Another clue in an hour.

[Rob in CT]

Nah, Jeff. It was totally premonition.

"Turn me on, dead man..."

[soxdownunder]

All time top five inventions (IN ORDER):

1. The Iphone that allows you to listen to the Red Sox in Sydney during the prosecutor's address

2. http://picasaweb.google.com/soxdownunder/NicePubInTokyo#5332078427907050706 "> This Japanese toilet (so good I took a picture)

3. Daylight

4. Fire 5. Wheel etc.

Kaz - too funny! Waiting for the next clue.

[Kaz]

Next clue:

He is a pitcher.

[Kaz]

Next clue: he's currently with the Rockies.

Sorry, have to speed it up a bit because I have an eye exam at 5:30.

[Rob in CT]

Matt Herges

[Bob]

Yes, it's the IMMORTAL Matt Herges.

Good Lord, that was a good one, Kaz.

[NolaSox]

Just found it, too, and he is one of the few players who is actually older than me. Prior to the hints - I was looking in the AL West for pitchers born in the early 70's.

[Kaz]

Yep, Herges. Good job, Rob.

I *think* he's the only one that meets the criteria, I can't think of any other and my attempts to research it have turned up nothing. If anyone comes up with another active (or inactive at this point) player who has played for every team in a division, please feel free to list them.

[Professional Hitter]

Steve Finley, also in the NL West (linked to Herges for the distinction in some Interwebs site). Inactive.

[NolaSox]

Gotta love the writer of this headline "Woman posing on police car leads to probe"

[Natalie]

Wow. This is waaaaay too much knowledge for me. I bow to you all. I guess I am a Sox fan first, a baseball fan second. Part of me is like, what's the NL?

Wait, did I just lose tons of street cred admitting that?

[h.b.]

I used to have a lot of probs with the Herges until Valtrex.

[h.b.]

But which of us are the "red shirts"?

Those I guess would be the folks who show up, comment once, and then are never heard from again?