The shape of things to come?

Al:
Ugh.

 

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Doug:
I take your Ugh and square it.

 

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Mike:
Screw that. It's Ugh factorial.

 

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Doug:
The Rays are now just 3 behind the Sox in the wild cahd.

 

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Al:
You know what that means — All ovah Tampa the salon phones are ringing off the hook with calls for Rayhawk bikini wax redux.

 

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Mike:
But remembah ladies, it doesn't end with a wax job. Today's fashion is all about strong, sexy, sculpted, ahms and shouldahs.

 

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Doug:
I've got your "shake weight" right heah.

 

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Al:
Just 6 minutes a day.

 

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Doug:
More like 30 seconds of shake for you, Al.

 

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Al:
That's right. Al is evolved for speed and not comfort.

 

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Mike:
Richard Dawkins would be so proud.

 

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Comments

[Colin]

Ugh is pretty much the apotheosis of the moods amongst Sox fans here h.b. Well said.

However, this leaves me with legitimate worry over the 4-day spiel against the MFY. Am I predicting a sweep on either side? Not really. Would I love a 12-0 record? Fuck yes I would. But...I would really love heads out of asses on this one amirite Smoltz and Clay?

[Harwich Rich]

Oh h.b.,you've done it again :))

[silver2]

Hate to say it but this team doesn't seem to have the chutzpah to make it to the post season. Hope they can get a spine the rest of the way.

[Steve in MD]

All those catwalks would make an excellet place to hide a camera you were using to steal signs... Just saying.

[yazbread]

Slip sliding away ...

[Jason O.]

I can't comment on this series as I don't have all the information yet. I promise that as soon as I have all the information, I'll make a comment. I simply haven't been successful in my attempts to obtain any information re: this series.

[anonymous coward]

couldn't help but notice that the ray-hawk was mentioned and then just to the right was an add for laser hair removal :)

[Bob]

Reading H.B.'s link on Richard Dawson, I saw that he published, "The Selfish Gene."

Now, I know the two had a game show rivalry (Family Feud versus Match Game), but that's still pretty mean of him.

Game sucked last night. Thanks for the late and utterly useless comeback that caused me to miss "Top Chef Masters". I'm bitter, angry, and so hopped up on Berocca that I'm peeing vitamin B-colored urine on Abby.

Oh yeah, baby! Take the neon shower!

[Colin]

@Jason O: I see what you did there. It'd be best to keep quiet given how your team has/had those same...issues.

[h.b.]

re the laser hair removal ad, yeah, Google feeds those ads based on context. Google knows all.

[Bob]

Yeah J.O.

As Giambi said, "I apologize about the something that I don't know about that thing that does the something."

Or Pettite: "Duuuuuh, what?"

Or A-Rod: "My lips are naturally purple and I only took 'roids for one year to minimize my Hamburger Helper Hand."

Or Clemens: "My wife inadvertently injected me with steroids during an S&M session with A-Rod."

[Jason O.]

That's ludicrous, Bob: Everyone knows that Clemens's wife would need at least 10 more lbs. of pure muscle before Alex would even think about a threesome.

Stay healthy during this series: Mind the curbs and other obstacles walking home from your favorite bar. Remember that your kidneys and liver will be working OT for the next 72 hours, so drink plenty of water and add broccoli and artichokes to your regular diet.

[Bob]

Jeez, don't you know that both asparagus and artichokes are terrible with wine?

And people named Chamberlain have a hard time beating Boston teams?

(Reverse gooch: we lose every game by at least 10 runs.)

[louclinton]

hb, kudos to you for coming up with content today. Except for the above comment, i have nothing

[h.b.]

Thanks, lc. If it wasn't for the "shake weight" video I'd have been toast.

I ran across that yesterday (via AdRants) and immediately knew I had to find a way to work it into a strip.

Once the Rays won and swept the 2-gamer, I knew the Rayhawk bikini wax was the perfect segue.

BTW all -- make sure you watch the shake weight video if you haven't already. It's not only amusing but surprisingly titillating (at least for h.b. it is).

[Bob]

That "Shake Weight" vid is hilarious. The last time I saw anything like that, I was on a movie set in Culver City. And by movie set, I mean apartment with a wood siding-covered basement.

[Bob]

BTW, When they show the price at the end, is that the money shot?

(I'd mention veal here, but Abby ruined that for me.)

[Kaz]

Ladies, please use the Shake Weight in moderation. Overuse could result in unexpected outcomes like Madonna.

As Bill Maher said in New Rules on Friday: "Stop working out if your arms start looking like Clint Eastwood's penis".

[louclinton]

twitter is in the shitter

[Bob]

Kaz, even stranger than Madonna's freak arms is that Bill Maher knows what Clint Eastwood's penis looks like.

[Sean L.]

mmmmm. Shaaaakeweight...

[Sean L.]

For longer pleasure with shakeweight just think about baseball, or Madonna's arms.

[silver2]

Let's hope Smoltz brings the old Dynamic Inertia tonight.

[sonomasox]

what's the over/under on pitches the hut throws at Youk's head. thinking 3 resulting in an '04-esque brawl.

Youk v. Hut w/ Trot (as surprise tag team) flying in off the top deck for the pin. The gerbil as ref of course

[Bob]

And sonoma, as much as I hated him, the ghost of Thurmon Munson (RIP) getting into the fray would be fun to watch.

Man, those were the good old days of brawls.

[Jason O.]

SonomaSox: Then Hank Steinbrenner appears in the Red Sox management suite and hits Lucchino with a folding metal chair.

Cue Jim Ross: "NOOOO!! Baby Stein and the chair!!! Pearl Harbors the unsuspecting Luscious One!!"

Friday's retribution: Jared Remy hospital jobs Cashman with a fungo bat for while Theo and George Mitchell look on in celebration.

[Matt of CT]

Batshit Tavarez is floating around as a free agent, right? Can't we pick him up for this series?

[sonomasox]

Bob, JO - funny shit. Let's just hope that Beckett doesn't pull a Spaceman when it all goes down

[Harwich Rich]

Meaning a sucker punch???

[sonomasox]

I was thinking more of the separated shoulder...sucker punch away - just not the throwing hand, meat.

[SAC]

Needed ShamWow to clean up after watching Shake Weight...

Did Germans make it?
...they make all that great shit.

[Kaz]

Sonomasox:

Spaceman?

Oh wait, you meant Bill Lee. Sorry.

[sonomasox]

just wrong, Kaz, plain wrong - especially right after lunch.

[Kaz]

Speaking of "shapes of things to come".

A shot of Hendricks

Here's some eye bleach for anyone clicking on the Spaceman link.

I'm out for the weekend. Go Sox. Yankees suck. See you all Monday.

[buckner was framed]

Kaz-
was that Remy hooked up to an experimental chemo in the link?

everyone knows it wasn't Bill Lee- he's at Pete's

[Designated Sitter]

There's a British word which fits what's going on in the Bronx right now perfectly: bollocks. Oh well, 8-1 for the season.

[Kaz]

http://bit.ly/Qwdpj

That is all.

[soxdownunder]

I know I'm gunna repeat this post tomorrow (if I survive) but:

http://picasaweb.google.com/soxdownunder/NoChinsEtc#5367072729121174498 "> top of the fourth

http://picasaweb.google.com/soxdownunder/NoChinsEtc#5367072735751753106 "> bottom of thbe fourth

sux
sdu

[martin]

Bob, Looking at the shot taken at the bottom of the fourth, it looks as though SDU was playing up to the cameras but you, on the other hand, look seriously pissed off and seem to be inhaling that beer. I think you might be my new hero.
Keep up the good work SDU. Through your posts I'm travelling the world and watching the Sox.