Motion of the Ocean

Doug:
Ugh. I hope this Rosenthal story is true and that Wagner is going to exercise his no trade clause.

 

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Mike:
Really? Jeez, here I was hoping we could pay him a lot of money while watching him lose games and then ship him off to St. Louis. Where they'll tell him he's been tipping his pitches.

 

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Al:
What exactly is Theo's obsession with wanting to sign coming-off-injury National League pitchers on the wrong side of their career arc?

 

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Doug:
Seriously. Memo to Theo: These guys are like waves on the Maine Coast. Step away from the friggin edge, dumbass.

 

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Mike:
Fitting metaphor as the Sox are now drifting in a Wild Card current where is gathered the flotsam of the Sea of Chance.

 

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Al:
Float, mothahfuckahs, float!

 

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Comments

[Harwich Rich]

Meet George Jetsam???

[Rob in CT]

Float, mothahfuckahs, float!

Perfect!

[Bob]

In best Pennywise voice:

"Oh, it floats, Georgie, it floats..."

So, seems like we can't score less than 8 runs a night, but can't give up less than 7 or 8.

"We have too much pitching."

-Somebody, in April

[louclinton]

Is Wagner German for Gagne?

[Natalie]

Float, mothahfuckahs, float!



That line made me laugh aloud, but I'd rather the motherfuckahs start to fucking swim. Otherwise, I envision them as that nasty styrofoam cup that turns up in every pile of flotsam, covered in sludge and weakly spinning in the whirlpool, going nowhere. Swim, motherfuckahs, swim. Please! :)

[h.b.]

Glad that line is going over well.

So does the September return of Dice-K increase the buoyancy or is he like cement shoes?

[Jim]

I think Dice-K will be the sludge that attaches itself to Nat's styrofoam cup, not really doing much, but certainly visible and annoying.

[Vasoxfan]

Why the f@@@ didn't anyone on the redsox see the pitches being tipped. Are we f@@@ing daft?

[Vasoxfan]

Cement shoes!

[Harwich Rich]

Well,he's tearing up single A. Smoltz redux??

[COD]

Comments at Baseball Musings indicate that the Cardinals tell every pitcher that they acquire mid season that he is tipping pitches. Maybe it's a running gag by the pitching staff to inject a little confidence before the first start?

[Professional Hitter]

So, I saw Inglorious Basterds this weekend - is it in bad form to call Youk The Bear Jew now?

[Bob]

Wagner has choked so many times in the clutch, he drives an automatic to work.

[Bob]

//is it in bad form to call Youk The Bear Jew now?//

Only if you're saying he's a fat, hairy, Jewish gay man.

[Natalie]

I love that anecdote about the Cardinals. Do they tell every slugger they acquire midseason that he's been using the wrong weight bat (only to give him the same weight bat as a solution), or every newly acquired clubhouse attendent that his towels looked gray but in St Louis, voila, they're white, or every newly acquired fan that back in X city they had the wave slightly wrong, but now, in St Louis, they have it down? They're like a clubhouse of motivational posters!

[Professional Hitter]

Oh. I am definitely not saying that at all; I just think he wields a mean bat. Maybe then the Bear Jew is the Greek God of Skull Bashing.

[Steve in MD]

I went to see Inglorious Basterds over the weekend specifically to forget about the Sox for awhile (20-11 - WTF?), and up to the plate steps the Bear Jew...

It's a must see movie anyway.

[Bob]

Nat, here's the motivational poster for both Smoltz and Wagner:

Motivational Poster For Smoltz and Wagner

[louclinton]

{With apologies to Elvis Costello]

♫ ♫

Oh I’ve always been a Sox fan
and I like to be abused
But since Smoltz and Penny busted,
You know that Dice-K’s gonna wear lead shoes.
But when he said he’d try to pitch in September
That's when I knew that I could not refuse.
Days pass and I’m getting older, now Dice-K wants to wear some lead shoes.

♫♫
Lead Shoes!
Dice-K Matsusaka wears Lead Shoes
You know he wants to walk someone
Lead Shoes ♫ ♫

and repeat

[Bob]

One more time:

MotivationalPosterForTheo

[Natalie]

Bob, now THAT is hilarious (it's funny cuz it's true). Thanks for the LOL.

[ponch in jerz]

I wish to reserve judgment on Smoltz's apparent non-suckitude until he pitches against someone who isn't the Padres, bottom-dwellers in all stats concerned with batting. And not getting Wagner is a good thing, even if he's looked in good in the two whole innings he's pitched. I remember when he was a relevant part of the Mets and he was a d-bag then. Can't imagine he's gotten any more palatable.
.
Ugly win is still a win. Cookies for everyone.

[Jeff in NC]

Smoltz sucks. That's not going to change. and no, the Cards can't see something we couldn't either.

Wagner sucks. Hope that mother fucker floats far from our styrofoam cup.

Bucholtz sucks (or however you spell that name). "fuck VMart, I don't want to throw any of those pitches you like. No. No. I knnow you are there watching the batter up close, I don't care. Fuck No. Yes, that's the pitch I am goin with - the homerun meatball". I'm thinking VMart pulled a Crash Davis.

Dice-K - the only thing for sure is that the paint will continue to dry.

Maybe we can just use that fantastic Japanese physicality to pitch Tazawa and Okajima non-stop for the rest of the year.

[Harwich Rich]

Accidents will happen lc,but only hit and run

[ParkerStPete]

Francona's army is here to stay, and I would rather be anywhere else but here today.

[sonomasox]

how'd you find my van, Bob?

nice lyrics, LC. Was at his show out here in Santa Rosa, Friday night. Not quite Basterds but an excellent way to avoid a 20-11 shitstorm.

and, we all know what happens when that styrofoam cup meets up w/ other shit of the sea - it creates a R.I sized island of trash
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8184397.stm

Is this where we're headed?

[louclinton]

Wagner deal done, apparently

[louclinton]

cue "Billy don't be a hero" parody

[h.b.]

25 guys, 25 cabs. We're not in "Cowboy Up" land anymore, folks.

[Jeff in NC]

25 guys, 25 cabs, 25 churches.

A strange mix of players. Given Papelbon's ridiculous comments yesterday about the Sox trying to get Wagner, I'm waiting for Youk/Ramirez redux in the bullpen between Wagner and Paps.

In this particular daydream, they both lose and Bard steps up to be The Tom Brady of the Bullpen.

[Professional Hitter]

Right on, h.b. I rather liked not being a fantasy team-like collection of former all stars like "they" are. But, it's not my team, I only root for them.

[Jeff in NC]

ya think Papelbon is still writing his HOF acceptance speech, or has he started to realize the Redsox are trying to get someone who can close behind him?

I say the hillbilly is still legendary in his own mind.

[Natalie]

Ugh, you guys, I follow Jerry_Remy (or likely his unpaid intern) on Twitter and his latest post is about rooting for the Yankees against Texas. Really? Do we have to? Can I not instead wish for some horrific accident to befall both teams or swine flu to knock them both out?

Oh, I josh. I would never wish grievous bodily harm on anyone. Maybe.

[Bob]

A chickenpox on both their houses, Natalie.

[Jeff in NC]

I'll defer to lc's wisdom of the other day on the Yanks/Rangers thing. I will only root for the Redsox.

I do however hope that short of a pox on both houses, they beat the crap out of each other, go multiple 15inning games, leave a few stars on the DL, get some 15 game suspensions for brawling, blow out some achilles tendons rounding the bases,... you know, basic stuff.

[Kaz]

WAGNER!!!

Sorry, getting my workout in since I felt like I pulled a typing finger shortly after we got Gagne. I just want to be prepared for the first time Billy blows a game in the 8th.

[jar in chicago]

I know I'm crazy, but I like picking up Wagner. There is a difference between Gagne and Wagner. Like 200 saves and he isn't a flash in the pan HGH idiot like Gagne. Plus, he is going to be extra motivated to get his last pay day next year.

[sonomasox]

so, I hear Tom Seaver is available...is Oil Can still looking for a comeback. I think El Guapo could make the 'pen more enjoyable.

[louclinton]

I don't really see Brad Penny and Wagner slammin' empty water bottles in the pen to support their mates. Nonetheless, maybe Wagner can out-asshole Paps and light a fire out there.

[Kaz]

Oh man, lou, I SO want to see that camera shot now with all of the Japanese guys and Papelbon and Delcarmen all banging away on the overhead on one side of the bench, laughing and having a good time......then the pan to the left and Wagner is sitting by himself in humbuggery with a scowl and his hands on his ears trying to watch the game on the field.

LOL, I can just so totally see it.

[Rob in CT]

Not excited about the Wagner move, but here's hoping it leads to a new version of a Wagnerian Ring Cycle.

Hope it's not as interminable to sit through as the musical version. Cue up Helga and the iron brassiere...

[Bob]

From EEI:

Entercom New England announced today that, effective with the team’s game against the Chicago White Sox Wednesday evening, August 26th, all future Boston Red Sox games will be carried on WEEI 850 AM in Boston, the flagship station of the WEEI Sports Radio Network.

[louclinton]

huh, they are really feeling the heat from the criminals at CBS radio

[soxdownunder]

http://www.boston.com/interactive/graphics/200908_ellsbury/ "> At least we've got speed

[pseudosanity78]

This is all like a patchwork quilt. It can either look beautiful once it's finished or it'll come apart at the seams at the slightest tug. It's all about which thread you pull.

[sonomasox]

patchwork quilt or island of trash floating aimlessly toward the hot stove.

[Steve in MD]

/huh, they are really feeling the heat from the criminals at CBS radio/

Yup - the same criminals that butchered Westinghouse.