It's the heat. And the turbidity.

Bill:
No game means no words. No problem.

 

---

Mike:
Are you kidding me, guy? You didn't hear the breaking news?

 

---

Mike:
The Red Sox signed their ninth-round draft pick! Whoo-hoo!

 

---

Bill:
Ah, yes, anothah crucial cog in the well-oiled machinery of the vaunted Red Sox fahm system.

 

---

Mike:
Who needs a Texeira when you can develop within. Insert the sound of maniacal laughtah that I'm too beat to manifest.

 

---

Bill:
It's hot. It's humid. I'm trying to decide which is droopiah — The Red Sox or my poor sweaty nut sack.

 

---

Mike:
I bathe once a day, am frightened by cats and shadows, sleep hahdly at all.

 

---

Bill:
Summah will follow summah, the air will be lake cleah, and the meaning too.

 

---

Comments

[h.b.]

Lines in the two final panels are from Bukowski's "to kiss the worms goodnight" in the collection Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame .

[da kine]

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

The Buk lines made me laugh my sweaty, droopy nuts off.

[Go Sox. Go Heels. Yankees Suck. Dook Sucks.]

A Nation turns to Beckett.

[Colin]

I still see no need to lament Tex. His doucher wife was all hot and bothered over NY. There was no way to win.

[h.b.]

re Texeira, I agree that there was probably no way to sign him. But I also agree with Dave Pinto that the Red Sox then made a mistake by pocketing the money they were prepared to spend on Texeira rather than go get another guy.

They were interested in Tex. because they needed a big bat in the lineup. That need didn't all of a sudden dissolve once the Yankees signed him.

And this need shows itself night after night these days.

[Bob]

Truly weird. I had beers (and a $2.00 burger) at Bukowski's last night, after a recording session in Back Bay.

Another Bukowski line that seems appropriate right now:

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must live.”

[h.b.]

Bob,

Even weirder, I almost used that line today.

[Bob]

Cue Bernard Herrmann music.

[Jim]

Bob - did he write the theme from "Twilight Zone?"

[Bob]

I don't think so. But possibly I guess. He did a whole bunch of Hitchcock films, that's where I know him from.

[Professional Hitter]

Great strip.

[louclinton]

nothing to say

lc

[h.b.]

The sad and somewhat embarrassing thing to confess is how much easier it is to write the strips when the Sox are doing poorly.

For instance, I already have the next day after a loss strip written. Yeah, that's how easy it is -- don't even need to wait for the actual game to transpire.

Of course, The Soxaholix was conceived in 2002-2003 and came to life for the 2004 season. Arguably, that is the the high water mark of fan frustration, so it makes sense that it's a more natural fit to revert to pre 2004 World Series win angst.

[Kaz]

h.b.:

Sometimes the line-up can tell you how it will all end before they even play the game.
--Bu-kaz-ski

[Natalie]

Torpidity? Or am I missing some allusion? It's hot here in London, too, and I'm certainly torpid myself.

[h.b.]

Nat,

See "turbidity current" and the notion of drawing up sediment or a fancy way of saying "muddying the waters." (The Buk poem had worms in the title so I was going down of path of mud, dirt, worms, water in my mind. Kind of dumb in hindsight.)

[Natalie]

So the title's reference to "turpidity" is not a misspelling but a nice mix of torpid and turbidity? I dig it. Sluggish and muddied. Describes this team and how I am feeling about right. :)

[h.b.]

Oops. No, misspelling. Should be turbidity. I'm swapping it.

[Billy Mahty]

The view into fan frustration, pre-2004, was what initially appealed to me about the strip. Now all I have is Marty (j/k).

"The Red Sox then made a mistake by pocketing the money.." I don't remember who else was available then. Maybe they should have picked up Bonds.

I'm glad I dodged Natalie's salty assault yesterday! ;)

[Billy Mahty]

This is interesting to read.. published the day before the Yanks signed Tex.

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20090102&content_id=3731652&vkey=hotstove2008&fext=.jsp

[vermonter]

It's now clear that h.b. is Bob.

The bright side, of course, is that they didn't lose last night.

[Jewel Heldman]

Today is coincidentally Bad Poetry Day. Hmmm.

[ponch in jerz]

One has to be impressed that you conjure up Bukowski on a humid day instead of just making an easy dick joke.
.
Not that there's anything wrong with an easy dick joke.
.
Maybe Tex's wife just wanted to hang out with the other Yankee wives - http://deadspin.com/5338494/meet-the-yankee-mean-girls
.
Ye gods, how long until that's made into an insufferable reality show?

[Matt of CT]

Ponch, the BBC has the Footballers Wives (albeit a fictional series, right Nat?) It's only a matter of time before a reality show rears its ugly head.

[Bob]

vermonter, I think I'm miles away, and about 25 IQ points short of H.B.

[Harwich Rich]

"Torpid is as torpid does"-F.Gump

[louclinton]

i thought of something to say

lc

[Jeff in NC]

I remember that I took a hiatus from the daily following of a slightly different group of frustratingly poor playing fucks about this time in the '04 season, so I looked it up..

August 18, 2004 - Redsox with 67 wins, 8.0 games out of 1st and tied for the Wild Card with, guess, guess,... The Rangers.

August 18, 2009 - 66 wins, 7.0 games out, 1 game off the Wild Card.

Just sayin'.

[Harwich Rich]

I guess sometimes a reality check is a good thing...I guess.

[Jeff in NC]

Just Sayin' maybe we coulda fucking won a certain 15 inning game and a certain meltdown against the O's and a few Papelbon blowjobs and... and I wouldn't have to do this god damn reality check becuase I'd be as happy as the MFY fans are now and they would be sifting through wreckage saying "well at least we are 8-4 against those assholes".

just sayin'.

[Kaz]

Bill: "Summah will follow summah, the air will be lake cleah, and the meaning too."

Hurricane Bill: "I'm coming this summah, the air will be like I dropped a lake on you, and the wind will be mean too."

Thanks a lot, Bill.

[Harwich Rich]

Hurricane Callaghan-lol

[Professional Hitter]

@Ponch, The Real Housewives of the E. 161st St. Syphilis and Pulpy Vaginal Discharge Clinic?

[vermonter]

Yeah Bob, h.b. does have some points over us. Of course, if you WERE him, that's what you'd want me to believe. I'm guessing you have another 25 points on me, which still leaves me dwarfing the average Yankee fan.

Anyhoo...

[Bob]

From Boston.com:

Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia has left the team in order to be with his pregnant wife, Kelli, in Boston. He's not in the lineup, and we'll have more details later.

Also:

Jason Varitek has been scratched from the lineup with a sore neck, replaced by David Ortiz. Victor Martinez moves to catcher, Mike Lowell to third.

[Kaz]

I just commented on Twitter that Varitek probably has a sore neck from watching all of those strikes go by.

[paddy24]

Pedroia should play. He just signed a big contract. I don't get to take off work every time something happens in my personal life. He's already sleepwalked through the whole season. Perhaps he shouldn't have made those idiotic comments about his home town or written an autobiography, either. Very few of the Red Sox players seems ready to play, day in and day out.

[Larry Here]

Paddy's the anti-family values guy. I love it. How dare you, Paddy? Heh.

[Kaz]

Paddy, that's just stupid.

[h.b.]

I think Paddy's point has validity, and I always do enjoy his cynicism.

[Jeff in NC]

Have to agree with Paddy. It's nice and all to have shiny happy players and we're all there for each other stuff in the locker room, but Pedroia needs to lift up his skirt and grow a pair. He's got a job to do.

I think I'll take tomorrow off and go fishing, you know, check on the health of the ocean - I'm sure my fans will understand.

[Jeff in NC]

On 2nd thought, maybe Beckett needs to go visit Pedroia's wife too. I think he is spending too much time watching Penny pitch and it's wearing off on him.

[Kaz]

Are we all clear that Pedroia's wife just gave birth to their first kid tonight??

And you don't get a day off to go watch your first kid get born??

Have none of you any haaht???

[Billy Mahty]

Yeah, seriously.. I don't want any player on the field when their wife is giving birth.. jeez.

Jeff in NC -- that is an amazing statistical comparison with the '04 team.

[h.b.]

Dude's wife finally popped out that spawn? About time.

And hurry up and kid that kid a job. I need my fucking social security.

[Jeff in NC]

ok ok ok I relent on Pedroia. Thought it was just more bedside lovey dovey shit while she was bored in the hospital.

Still think maybe the rest of the pitching staff shouldhave gone with him though - their current lack of prowess on the mound and all.