Mr. Jaws

Marty:
[Making the Jaws sound] Da-Dum...Da-Dum...Da-Dum-Da-Dum-Da-Dum...

 

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Bill:
Jesus, Mahty I don't know how it's possible but you've managed to become a caricature of a caricature of yourself.

 

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Marty:
There's Red Sux blood in the water, Billy Boy, and the Pinstriped shark is circling ... Da-Dum...Da-Dum...Da-Dum...Da-Dum...

 

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Bill:
You know, Mahts, it's fitting that you'd go with a Jaws movie theme here — I mean the 70s look/feel, the creaky, mechanical dated special effects — that all does scream "Yankees."

 

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Bill:
Except now instead of a 70's summah blockbustah, your shahks are more of the made for obscure cable channel shlock variety and not especially scary.

 

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Marty:
Ok, Callaghan, here's one for ya — "KNOCK KNOCK."

 

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Bill:
Oh, you've got to be kidding me, now you're dredging up 70s SNL skits?

 

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Marty:
No, this is different... "KNOCK KNOCK."

 

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Bill:
Alright I'll amuse you, "Who's there?"

 

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Marty:
"Red Sox leadoff hitter.

 

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Bill:
[Sigh] Red Sox leadoff hittah who?

 

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Marty:
Exactly!

 

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Marty:
Bwahahaha.

 

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Comments

[Harwich Rich]

Eat it Mahts.

[Bob]

I still hate that Marty looks like Ted Williams. I know that H.B. is creating hatred of the cartoon-man, but still.

My thoughts on Doc Halladay: Everyone (Gammons, Buster, Phillips, etc.) thinks Phillies. Just saying, don't be surprised. Just be happy when it happens.

Oh, and regarding the British Open: it's exactly what I love and hate about sports. No script written by some Hollywood guy who always wants a happy (or at least satisfiying) ending. Just sports. Just whatever happens, happens.

It's why I love sports. And occasionally hate it. One miraculous catch by a D-list recievever prevents the Patriots from being the best team of all time. One grounder to a first baseman, one 8-foot put from a golf legend, one reach from the stands by a kid, one pop fly that caches the cosmic wind and Bents us out of shape...it's why sports will always be the best reality show.

[Harwich Rich]

Sorry,that was just childish. What I should have said was,Let's see how much you crow when the Sox #1 and 2 are Beckett and Halladay.

[ponch in jerz]

pulled the trigger on Lugo, now it's time to pull the trigger on Penny. Trade him for probably a few AA prospects and put in Buchholtz, because I'm no longer enamored with Penny going 5 innings with a 5.01 ERA.
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I had a professor in college who used to mock the way we Jerseyites pronounced 'shark.' Seeing 'shahks' gave me a good laugh, thanks

[Kaz]

Maybe all of those shark attack victim do-gooders wouldn't be so quick to defend their attackers if they only knew they were metaphors for the Yankees too!

[Billy Mahty]

Daily News headline today: "Mike Mussina, last Yankee to beat Red Sox, won't come out of retirement"

[Jeff in NC]

So if any of you have been to the Universal Studios tour in LA, you can completely appreciate the strip today. I saw the Jaws robot attack my tour bus when I was a kid and it was awesome - I was amazed at how they did it, that that was the shark in the movie.

I was on the tour again as an adult some years back. "Oh (future Mrs. Jeff) your gonna think this is so cool when you see Jaws!" Well, she had a whole new appreciation for what I dork I was after she saw that raggedy ass, joints squeaking, smaller than life plastic shark come and bark at our tour tram.

Just not what it once was. And as for sentimentality for the way it was, I imagine lc may be coming out with a series of yankees models soon.

[Devine]

"You're gonna need a bigger bat."

[sonomasox]

what I love about Mahts is that he thinks he's so cool to come up w/ the jaws theme and such a wicked genius knock knock joke.

You know he's standing around the bubblah whacking it w/ his greased up chain wearing boys bragging about how he just gave it to Callaghan.

He's such a douche.

[yazbread]

Saw Jaws when it was first released. Hated swimming in the ocean ever since. Sailed with future father-in-law in the Bahamas in the summer of 82. Lots of snorkling - usually to the accompaniment of my comment 'I'll be on shark watch'. Future father-in-law - a combination of Hemingway/Indiana Jones/St.-Euxpery - was not amused and derisively noted that in 25 years of sailing he had seen one shark at a distance. So we are diving for conch at Mama Rhoda Rock out of a small dinghy. Old man (55, not in great shape) flips backwards into the water a la Jacques Cousteau. Two seconds later he shoots out of the water like a Polaris missile yelling 'there's a goddam shark in the water'. Turns out he landed (and straddled) on top of an 8-foot shark upon entry. Should have had future son-in-law on shark watch. Old man puts view finder in water. Looks around. Says 'I scared him as much as he scared me'. Goes back into water. Puts head under water and looks around. Looks up at me, says all is clear - coming in? His version of a pissing contest. So I go in, realizing if I did not, I would have to suffer slings and arrows for next 30 years. Stupid, macho crap. We harvest conch in about 8-10 feet of water, I take one to his three or four, fully expecting his friend to return for lunch.

[Jason O.]

Jaws is still Spielberg's 2nd best movie, after (obviously) Schindler's List.

Empire of the Sun and AI are, to this day, both massively underrated.

I tend to agree with Bob, and not just in terms of preferred alcoholic beverages: When the Red Sox and the Yankees have supposedly "fallen out of the Halladay race" is exactly the time to be on alert.

[Natalie]

Fished for shark off of Montauk as a kid. Boy, there was a trip, chumming and waiting for the frenzy on my granddad's boat. Never had shark fear although not sure if I'd go in the water in Australia, they seem to be everywhere. And the movie Open Water terrified me more than Jaws....


Looking forward to the Soxaholix fest at Pete's a week from Sunday. Who all do we have going? Did I read correctly that NolaSox would be there? Fun!

[Bob]

Pete's list so far (and I don't have everybody who's going, so chime in please):

Me
SDU
Natalie
NolaSox
Kaz
Yazbread?
Harwich?
H.B. behind the bar in wig and breasts?

[Bob]

Oh, and J.O., don't forget Spielberg's "Duel."

TV movie yes, but maybe the best ever.

[yazbread]

Would love to make the gathering at Pete's but the travel budget has been exhausted for the summer.


I think that Jaws real claim to fame is placing the story of the Indianapolis into the public consciousness. Anyways, we delivered the bomb.

[MWL in MD]

By coincidence I'll be in Boston on the 2nd but I'm not sure I'll have any free time. Is this an afternoon or evening gathering?

[Nolasox]

Bob, I think I saw BWF +1 indicate he might make it.

My shark story, late last summer (on Gustav evacuation) spent part of it in Gulf Shores, AL, we were fishing off a pier and some yahoos had caught a shark and couldn't get the bastard off the line. They eventually had to drag it all the way to the beach to get it off. My son still talks about it. Needless to say, I did not go in the water the next day.

[Bob]

MWL, it's an evening get-together. Say, from 6:00 PM until whenever.

[Bob]

Oh yeah, Buck said he'd be there.

[Natalie]

Doing a close tag on the italics, hopes it works.


Didn't realize... evening game on that Sunday? Are we ESPN game of the week that day?

[soxdownunder]

And mrs buck (Lisa ipersonator). And (in best Aussie drawl) 'that's not a shark ...'

[louclinton]

Dodgers v Braves and
Mariners v Rangers are the late games on 8/2

Sox play O's at 1:35 p.m. on 8/2

[Bob]

L.C. is right. I just checked my Outlook calendar, which says, "Sunday, Aug. 2, 1:30 at Pete's."

Of course, I might be there just a little early for some liquid brunch.

[Jeff in NC]

Another great bit about sharks. I don't usually fish for them on purpose, but often get them on the lines (equivalent to a freshwater fisherman's problem with weeds). They are all over the place here on the southern coast of NC. Charter boats routinely catch 70-80 to 300+ lb sharks no more than 100 yrds off the beach...full of swimming vacationers. Maybe not Jaws, but big enough to ruin your day. Ignorance is bliss.

[buckner was framed]

Abby?

[buckner was framed]

excuse me- Abby?

[buckner was framed]

Bob, you still bringing pizza, or did I dream that?

[louclinton]

as far as sharks gom, the only thing i want to say is that from August 1, 2001 up until 7 am on 9/11/01, all this stupid country wanted to talk about was shark attacks. Then, they didn't.

In other words, shark talk fills a void, it's not interesting, even to Yankee fans

[Bob]

Yeah, Abby will be there. And pizza from the original Regina's, too.

[soxdownunder]

How did we all become so italicised?

[yazbread]

Mea Culpa. I think.

[Bob]

It's like we all have scoliosis.

[Kaz]

Fix italics?

[Bob]

I can walk! I can walk!

[Kaz]

Yikes, I just tried to close the italics too...lemme see...

Trying one more time.

[Kaz]

This is my last attempt.

Did that work?

[Kaz]

Nope, something about the way TypePad takes in the posts or I'm not guessing the right tag type (tried i and em) won't let me force it closed at all.

In the meantime, what time is the gathering on the 2nd? I'm actually going to end up being out of town that weekend, but I should be getting back ON the 2nd...so I'm trying to figure out if I can make it or not.

[Bob]

Italics are gone on my side.

Kaz, the plan is to meet at Pete's/Durty Nelly's on the 2nd around game time (1:30).

[yazbread]

Dr. Kaz - who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?

[Kaz]

Crap...I don't think I'll be back that Sunday until later in the evening. :(

[MWL in MD]

Kaz, I'm in the same boat, something like 6 (or 8) pm might have been do-able.

[h.b.]

yazbread,

pretty sure that is among the best "it happened to me!" stories ever in the soxaholix comments.

it's in the 'teal dress' realm of things.

we need to collect these and publish a "soxaholix letters" volume.

[h.b.]

Mmmm... Pizza.

Mmmm... Abby.

[Bob]

Lay off there, Mr. Hart Brachen!

I have a feeling you're tall, dak and handsome, and hung like Jim Rice.

(Not that I know how he's hung, but, uh, I do. Long story. Very long.)