Tied for First

Doug:
Was Beckett on fiah last night or what?

 

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Mike:
Simply brilliant. Amazing though that a 10-1 seemingly invicible lead when Beckett left the mound turned into a WTF shortly aftah.

 

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Doug:
Seriously. In the old days, we'd have lost that game 10-11.

 

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Mike:
So Sox win, Yankees lose and we are tied for first.

 

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Doug:
The trolls must be beside themselves this morning.

 

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Mike:
Do you ever wondah what it feels like to be a Yankee fan troll?

 

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Doug:
No, but I confess that I sometimes wondah what it feels like to be Kim Kardashian's glorious ass.

 

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Mike:
Yeah, and how is it?

 

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Doug:
Sublime, baby, sublime.

 

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Mike:
OK, so, Cage Match: Kim Kardashian's Ass vs. Gisele Bündchen Brady's Ass. Who wins?

 

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Doug:
Wait, are eithah of the asses secretly named "Ditka"?

 

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Mike:
No, Ditka is not involved whatsoevah. This is straight up beaucoup ass vs immaculate ass.

 

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Doug:
!

 

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Doug:
You've stumped me.

 

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Mike:
Seriously. It's the mothah of all stalemates.

 

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Doug:
Now I know how Sonia Sotomayor would feel trying to decide a case between a disabled Latina Muslim and a transgendered Native American atheist. My empathy is at cross-purposes!

 

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Comments

[RonF]

I have this fantasy where I'm watching Wakefield throw a no-no and the Red Sox win on a Ortiz homer while the TV image is is reflected off of Kim Kardashian's ass.

[RonF]

But then I like wide-screen TVs.

[Bob]

Might be a little MIA for a day or two. Abby had a seizure yesterday and slammed her head on a sidewalk pretty bad. She's going to be fine (CAT scans and neurosurgeons swear to it).

But in case any of you creepy people wonder if this creepy site means anything to anybody, she made me promise to tell H.B. and all The Soxaholix that she's okay. Swollen, but okay.

Perspective is everything, I suppose. But I still hate the Skankees.

[louclinton]

get better, ag. I'll order up a sunset for ya.

lc

[Rob in CT]

Good God, Bob. I was all set to put to rest any misconceptions about Kim's ass being even in the same league as Gisele's, then you drop that bomb.

Please let Ms. Abby know that our thoughts and prayers are with her for a speedy recovery. Here's hoping she's back to form spanking your ass like a 4 year old in K-Mart just as soon as possible. BE WELL SOON, ABBY!

[Rob in CT]

ANd again, just for the record, Giselle's ass would spank Ditka like a 4 year old in K-Mart, too.

Spanking and Giselle's ass in the same sentence... Um, I gotta excuse myself for a while.

[Kaz]

Yikes, Bob! I hope they find the cause even if everything says she's fine now. Dude, if I believed in ghosts...well, that house, man, that house!

But no, sometimes things just happen. I hope Abby gets well and take the time you need to help her through this. Be there for all of us.

[h.b.]

Wow, Bob, that's nuts. Maybe you're new place is cursed/haunted after all.

Hope Abby gets well soon. Be sure to tell her we are amusing ourselves with ass talk in her absence.

[Kaz]

Also, Kardashian crushes Gisele. I've just personally never been a Gisele fan for some reason. Kim K has a touch of crazy that makes her seem like she'd be a lot of fun.

[vasoxfan]

Bob,
Wish Abby well for us from Virginia.

[Harwich Rich]

Now Abby,here's where you get Bob to wait on you hand and foot :) Get well soon.

[COD]

Add me to vasoxfan's well wishes from VA. And have Father O'Brien from the local Parrish pay a visit to that house of yours!

[NolaSox]

You can serve tea on Kim's - Gisele would get some nasty burns if you tried to.

Abby, I hope you get some good prescriptions out of this in addition to Bob serving your every need.

[Rob in CT]

RIP Kwai Chang Caine.

Bill got killed...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/as_thailand_david_carradine

[louclinton]

David Carradine found hung in Bangkok?

yoiks

[louclinton]

ric beat me. good on ya

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

Bob, I hope everything's okay. Good wishes from the Nutmeg State :)

[Kaz]

So, the original BBC article on Carradine's death said that he had rope around his "neck and genitals". They've since changed that to "neck and body". This is starting to sound like accidental hanging during autoerotic asphyxiation (if you ask me).

"Waiting for Grasshopper" by Samuel "Kill Bill" Beckett?

[buckner]

Abby, get well. Bob, somehow I bet you were expecting to use the phrase "swollen but OK" in a different context re: Abby

[Harwich Rich]

Was Master Po involved??

[Harwich Rich]

...or possibly Master Bates. Sorry .

[h.b.]

Not sure, but it's possible a one-eyed monk was involved.

[Kaz]

Brings new meaning to today's strip's title.

(He was in Bangkok filming a movie too...so it's the dreaded TRIPLE entendre!)

[Go Sox. Go Heels. Yankees Suck. Dook Sucks.]

A spitting, one-eyed monk?

And as for the ass contest... Well it's not really a contest. Kim's got one, Gisele don't. I'm not a hater, she's a beautiful girl, but this is an ass contest, not Miss America.

May the knuckleball flutter and the flight home be joyous. And may Abby make a full recovery...

[ponch in jerz]

No on Kim's butt. I like a little cushion for the pushin' too but not something that looks like two mattresses crammed into a pillowcase. But hey, that's me.

[Natalie]

Sending my best wishes for a speedy recovery, Abby!

[Jeff in NC]

re Bill, it appears one of the snakes, his - not Elle Driver's, finally did him in too, much like the mamba got to his Sidewinder Budd - think he took a load of stuff in the face like Budd did beofer going crosseyed and going to see Buddha?

re Haunted Houses and strange shit. Just watching a CSI last night about folks living in haunted houses in Amityville - i'm thinking who the fuck moves into a haunted house in Amityville?

Boston is not Amity, hauntings make cool stories, but holy shit that's scary Bob. All kidding aside, wish Abby the best of recovery and hopefully she'll have some nice peace and quiet to contemplate paint drying on growing grass while she takes five.

[sonomasox]

hope it wasn't it the wedding plans that sent Abby over?

wishing for a speedy recovery for the left coast: Get well Abby.

in re: ass - I'm w/ Doug. You've got two great flavors but yet one choice...I'll order the twist.

[Tim W. (No, not that one)]

While the jury deliberating the question re: asses remains hung, I will forever be looking for an opportunity to work the phrase "immaculate ass" into every single conversation.

[SAC]

This IS a creepy site.

[Rob in CT]

"While the jury deliberating the question re: asses remains hung"

Always have been, hope always to be...

[yazbread]

All the best to Abbey.

[Jim]

of all the days to hop on at 4!

Bob, best to Abby and tell her to take full advantage of her recovery time and helper(s)! Was it the wedding?;)

[Devine]

Hope Abby is better, mang.

Turned out to be a good road trip in the end.

[soxdownunder]

Australia too throws its support behind a full recovery for Abby.

And there's no contest - it's Giselle by a kilometre.

[soxdownunder]

Australia too throws its support behind a full recovery for Abby.

And there's no contest - Giselle by a kilometre. Size isn't everything Dook Sucks - she has one all right: it's real and it's magnificent.

[sonomasox]

what is this kilometre thing you speak of

[Harwich Rich]

Let's not open up that can of worms,Sonoma :)))

[Soulie]

How can we be discussing deriere's and not have Beyonce come into this discussion? A crime, I say, a crime.

[Lazlo Freem]

Beauty is in the behind of the holder.