Sox con queso

Doug:
I hate losing to Sciosa's LA Anaheim wannabes, but sometimes you just have to tip your cap to one of their guys.

 

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Doug:
Palmah was simply phenomenal once he found his groove.

 

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Mike:
Besides that last night won't be remembahed for a mere win or loss but for the MLB debut of one Daniel Bard.

 

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Al:
Registering 98 mph heat on what is reputed to be a slow gun? Oh, yes, please.

 

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Doug:
Angels catcher Mike Napoli describes Bahd best — "He’s got easy cheese."

 

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Mike:
Are you kidding me? Bahd brings so much cheese the government wants to name a welfare program aftah him.

 

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Al:
Seriously. Bahd brings so much cheese that on days he pitches they need to post signs around the pahk warning the lactose intolerant to entah at their own risk.

 

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Doug:
Frig yeah. Bahd has so much easy cheese that when he travels to France they refer to him simply as "Croque."

 

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Mike:
You know, I think this is going to be damn fine summah.

 

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Comments

[Harwich Rich]

Guess what LA-Nacho cheese :)

[vasoxfan]

Cheeze wiz- what he throws.
Cheese fries -batters that get struck out by him are called these.
Cheese and crackers- the bats that get broken by him

[louclinton]

Cheese. speaking of Lost...

ok so the Rascal Flatts looking dude is Jacob and Locke is dead and shapeshifting and whatnot, and Juliet fell down a hole and bonked the plutonium core eight times and the end title is black on white instead of white on black and Rose and her husband are hippies in the woods and something about whats done is done and then something about serving in Latin and theres a big lego looking statue that had most of its body cut off and wait what poor old phil got metal roads magnetically piercing this thorax and heart. I'm glad it all came together. Thank god its not on again until the next decade.

[Bob]

"Easy cheese."

Heh. Remind me of last night, a few hours after eating Haymarket pizza.

High hopes for The Bard. "Such stuff as dreams are made of."

[Kaz]

Let's hope Farraday was right and this whole thing unravels back to before the crash, because if it doesn't then we just put everything into a loop and next season is going to be awfully boring and retread.

Also, Locke wasn't Locke. He's dead, there's no coming back from dead. He was that other guy who told Jacob that he'd kill him eventually while they were watching that sailing ship go by in the mid 1600's or whenever.

[h.b.]

I haven't watched Lost yet, so could you please refrain from posting spoilers?

:)

[louclinton]

believe me, none of what i put in there is going to spoil anything, unless your life turns on the "whatever happened to Rose?" axis.

lc

[ParkerStPete]

Isn't Lost so inherently absurd and crazy that it's pretty much spoiler proof? Just sayin' that hearing about it before I watch it never seems to make much difference.

[Jesse]

It's not JOSH Bard - it's DANIEL Bard.

C'mon, guys... that's embarrassing.

[Kaz]

And, lc, could you believe what Jack did with that Other? I mean slitting her from head to toe so that he could sleep in her skin? Gross. But if you're gonna have to travel off the island to where the polar bears came from originally just to save Kate from those midgets...you do what you gotta do.

Sorry, what's that, hb? Oh, right, no more spoilers...gotcha.

[CT Soxfan Sammy]

That was worth staying up, to be able to see Bard's debut. I'm glad I spent the $30 two years ago to get 4 of his Autographed rookie cards for my Son's collection---this kid is special. "Viva El Queso!"

[louclinton]

4 sure Kaz, and especially the part where Ben puts on a ballerina costume to cook up some cool meals at Benihana while Mr. Eko looks on from the ceiling (or was it Venus?) we'll never know... sorry hb

[Chops]

Bard's got so much cheese, the Angels who faced him won't be able to take a dump until the All-Star break.

[Chops]

Sox management just announced that on night when *Daniel* Bard pitches, they'll be replacing the water cooler with wine rack... to go with the cheese.

[Chops]

Daniel Bard has so much cheese that he automatically qualifies to play in the next World Baseball Classic for France.

[Harwich Rich]

Does that mean the opposite dugouts will be supplied with "whine" racks?? sorry

[h.b.]

//C'mon, guys... that's embarrassing.//

Oh, Jesus, I'm so, so, so fucking sorry. It's amazing in the 5 mins I spend each morning writing the strip that I sometimes have a brain fart and create a typo, grammar error, or I somehow manage to confuse my Bards.

I am such a total loser.

And considering how much you pay to access this blog, it makes it even more embarrassing. Hell, it's not just embarrassing, it's corrupt!!!!!!

Please send me your contact info ASAP so that I can refund your subscription fee and, fuck, I'll send you my left nut as well.

And, just so you know, I've cut up and thrown out my RSN membership card because it's so fucking, painfully obvious that I'm a complete poseur. (I confess I'm typing this while wearing a pink hat.)

Dear reader, I remain your most humble servant.

[louclinton]

and __only__ a pink hat

[SoCalBoSoxFan]

Taking the day off work and driving out to Anaslim! Here's to hoping Brad looks half as good today as Bard looked last night.

[Jeff in NC]

and... BAM! WHOP! KAPOW! (picture old Batman show fight scenes please), the gloves are on the ground and the bard, not to be confused with the Daniel or Josh variety, is tearin' it up in defense of the art of the storyteller. Fuck ya!

Free stuff - such a ripoff.

I might advise against the left nut refund though, h.b. - it might leave you a bit unbalanced... well more unbalanced than usual anyway:)

[Harwich Rich]

...and all this time I thought it sprang fully formed from your grey matter,h.b. j/k lol

[Jeff in NC]

I know we all know how curveballs work, but this is cool -
Secret of the Curveball

[h.b.]

Yes, LC, wearing *only* a pink hat on account of the fact that my teal dress is at the cleaners (because of the stains).

[Jeff in NC]

not sure what's up with the linked page - go the bottom of the linked page and hit that link to see the visualization of the curve ball.

[ponch in jerz]

if you do give your left nut away, you can always get one of these as a replacement: http://www.neuticles.com/index1.html

(I'm old, I don't know how to use hmtl or whatever.)

[Kaz]

Besides if Josh Bard could pitch like Daniel Bard, then we would have made Wakefield be the catcher!

[Jesse]

Defensive, much? Confusing one player with another on the team you write about every day isn't a "typo" -- just be a man and admit your mistake without going mental.

[Jesse]

Although penance of wearing a pink hat does sound pretty fantastic.

[Scott]

I just hope Daniel Bard's Red Sox career doesn't go the way of Josh's!

[louclinton]

Jesse, you're new here, right? Here's a chance to demurely bow out, cause that's a girl's name right

[h.b.]

//Confusing one player with another on the team you write about every day isn't a "typo" //

Actually, as someone who does this every day and commits all sorts or grammatical mistakes, I'd argue it is very similar.

Indeed, I'd argue it is EXACTLY the same as making a their/there, hear/here, it's/its etc kind of error.

These are all mistakes of sloppiness and lack of proof reading rather than any inherent lack of knowledge.

The brain tends to go on autopilot when we write. When I'm busting out a strip I'm thinking about the next line I'm going to write rather than whether I got here/hear or Jason/Daniel correct. I just assume, mistakenly, that I do.

So the presumption on your part that I actually thought the catcher Josh Bard was called up from the minors to make his MLB pitching debut rather than assuming, as everyone else did, that I just unwittingly goofed on their first names is the same as thinking I don't know the difference when I write "two" instead of "too" or "to" or write "there" instead "their" or "they're."

As for being "defensive" I'd say it's more a case of frustration.

Pointing out these sorts of errors is petty and mean-spirited. You are trying to publicly show me up. A more thoughtful reader would have just emailed me about the error (as 3 of you did, thank you). Or if you wanted to post it here in the comments you could have been less inimical about it.

I feel like a give a lot to this strip every day and have been doing so for 5 seasons now. When I make a mistake (as I do almost daily), it sucks to have somebody pull a "Ha ha ha you're a dumb ass" bit on you.

Yeah, I should just ignore it. But sometimes you just get tired of being shit on by the random asshat reader. Especially when the shitting on is done by a fellow Sox fan. (I expect BigBri to shit on me.)

If that is defensive, then so be it.

[soxoshanka]

Right on h.b.!
I guess Jesse missed yesterday's strip.

[Kaz]

hb, it's cool. I think we all recognize Jesse's just overcompensating for having a "Josh" Bard instead of a "Daniel" Bard like you do.

Size matters, ya'know?

[ruby02138]

yeah, y'all, leave *our* h.b. alone! I couldn't start my day without him!

[Harwich Rich]

h.b.-you are appreciated for all you do by those who matter :)

[h.b.]

Thanks, gang.

In hindsight I should have just let it go. But sometimes you just feel like going Batshit Tavarez.

(BTW I do realize Batshit isn't really his first name. We all know it's Juan. :)

[Jeff in NC]

T shirt...
Josh, strike that, Daniel
"Ha ha ha you're a dumb ass"

HR - You are very correct. and some of us are of a size that makes us matter.

[Jeff in NC]

or hoolian if you happen to be John Miller.

[jar in chicago]

HB, warts and all you make me laugh every day. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Thanks for 1,825 laughs minus a few lisa the temp strips. Those are for other moments.

[Harwich Rich]

BA-DOOM

[COD]

There was a mistake in the strip?

[Jeff in NC]

so, given the last couple dyas, h.b. is not as funny as he thinks he is and he can't type. Sounds a lot like me - that must mean....... I'M H.B.

Oh sorry bout the typo, intials are really J.B. - got confused while trying to be funny.

[louclinton]

you know what, that jesse chick doesn't even move the dial. time for day baseball.

[soxdownunder]

//less inimical about it//

Now there's an expression that, regrettably, one does not hear every day.

[sonomasox]

HB - anyone who visits this creepy site knows the genius we get to bare witness to daily...the rest all have bitch tits.

So - can we go back to cheese now. "Daniel" Bard needs a nickname to prevent any further "embarrassment"

[Jeff in NC]

Napoli already gave it to him

Easy Cheese or Easy Cheesy Lemon Squeezy if that's more fun to say

[louclinton]

Daniel "Hard" Bard is my nomination

[DuBois]

I just got my first HD TV. Lets just say that Heidi Watney in HD makes me easy cheese my drawers.

[Jeff in NC]

Future post game interview with Heidi Watney and Daniel Hard Bard..

"I'm here with Daniel Bard after a great performance tonight. Daniel, your new nickname is Hard Bard - just how hard are you tonight?"

"Well Heidi, I was throwing hard all night. Now I'm here with you and let's just say I could cut glass right now."

[Bob]

Jeez, I go to a bunch of meetings and all hell breaks out here.

Let me be the peacemaker, okay?

Jesse, shut the fuck up and stop licking your mother's balls.

H.B., keep doing what you do.

(And yes, Jesse, I am an asshole. A know-it-all asshole at that.)

[Scott]

This just in Papi is done. Francoma needs to move him down to the JV part of the order with Bailey, Lugo and Tek.

[louclinton]

another nomination

Daniel "Sling Cheese Incident" Bard

[sonomasox]

0 - 7...3x w/ bases loaded.

OUCH!

[soxdownunder]

Fuck the home plate umpire; fuck both centre fielders; fuck big papi (no, I don't mean it); fuck del carmen. Fuck cheese. Fuck pedantic comments. Mostly, fuck the home plate umpire. Okay, now I can move on.

[Daubie]

Adding my two cents: h.b., the rest of us "just readers" are behind you too. Fuck Jesse's girl: dumbass.

Anyone realize Batshit is a GNat now? His J-Lo quote was fantastic. In case you missed it:

"Why did I sign with the Nationals?" Tavarez said told a group of reporters. "When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you're just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J. Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It's 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me."

I loved that.

[Rob in CT]

"Sounds a lot like me - that must mean....... I'M H.B."

No, I'M h.b.

I'm h.b.

I'm Spartacus.

No, I'm Spartacus. :-D

We got your back, h.b.

(This post must mean I'm posting/talking to MYSELF, since I'M H.B.

[Lazlo Freem]

As a daily reader and infrequent commenter, I want to thank Jesse for ending the Lost banter, for revealing HB's inner vitriol, and especially for confirming that my not pointing out an insignificant typo noticed in an earlier strip was a good decision.

I submit Daniel "Fromunder Cheese" Bard.

HB, you can do no wrong.

[Chip]

H.B., you're the absolute best, and a little insecurity is good in a King.

[h.b.]

Per Lazio's comment, I don't want anyone to come away from this thinking they shouldn't point out errors in the strip.

Seriously, I truly appreciate it.

But something like "Hey, I think you meant to say 'XYZ' in panel Zed rather than 'ABC'" is preferred to "Hey, stupid. You wrote 'XYZ'. Embarrassing. And I bet you hate puppies too."