Tired of Six

Bill:
OK new rule — I no longah have to feel guilty for not staying up for an entiah West Coast late staht game as long as the Sox are below .500.

 

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Mike:
What the hell is up with Lestah? His first staht you say, well, he's rusty, but now the second staht is worse than the first?

 

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Bill:
And then there's the offense which has gone all Iraqi WMD on us. I mean I'm told it's there but I don't see any evidence.

 

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Mike:
Of course if you grab any random 6 game stretch from any season and you're going to get your 2 for 5 runs where the pitching is off and the hitting is off.

 

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Bill:
Absolutely. It's meaningless to draw any conclusion from 6 games.

 

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Mike:
With that said, though, I sure would like to see these guys bust out their innah Susan Boyle's though right about now.

 

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Comments

[granular_serene]

I think the soxaholix crew is a pretty levelheaded bunch, so I'll stave off panic until I see it here...that being said, there are 2-5 stretches where they look ok but just didn't get the w. they do _not_ look ok...

[Harwich Rich]

Can we play the 0-7 Nationals?

[COD]

We do play the Nationals - although they will be the 15-35 Nationals by then.

[Bob]

So...very...tired.

Why, you ask, would I stay up to watch that debacle?

I didn't. I just watched the first six innings.

So...very...tired.

BTW, last night at Pete's, had jerk chicken made by a Jamaican friend.

Wonderfully hot and spicy last night, not-so-wonderfully hot and spicy this morning.

[Steve in MD]

This team has the look of the 2008 Tigers. Everybody is trying to hit home runs when we deparately need baserunners, trying to kill the ball when we need sac flies, can't lay down a bunt ot save thier lives, playing hurt and not telling anybody, etc. Tito needs to right this ship by kicking some folks in the ass.

At least the skanks got smoked, so there's that...

[Colin]

Yes Steve the Yanks did get smoked.
.
.
.
.
by the friggin' Rays. I loved how people were writing them off last year only for egg to get all in their faces. I fear the Rays more than I do any other team in the AL East right now.

As for the Sox, this LOBster menace is bullshit. From the looks of it they're either lacking coordination, patience, or skill. Papi looks like a fish out of water and I'm still reluctant to blame it on Manny's absence, Pedroia since that HR lost his groove (but he's seemed to have April blues before), Lowell is either hot or ice cold...never consistent, Drew outside of an occasional hit is nearing 2007 Drew, Bay and Youk I give credit to, Varitek tries but gets little support, Ellsbury is disappointing, and Rocco bless his heart tries as well.

[Jason O.]

RIP Marilyn Chambers. A true pioneer in her field, both in the fledgling porn industry in the 70's and then, as I knew and loved her, in her softcore
Skinemax revival in the late 80's and 90's.

[vermonter]

Perhaps it's just the nature of nostalgia, but I am really sad that Mark Fidrych died. What a perfectly cartoon-like baseball character. I didn't know he only won 29 games in his career. He seemed to know how lucky he was to be on the mound.

[vermonter]

Fidrych, Kalas, amd Marilyn Chambers.

Giggity...

[h.b.]

Thanks for mentioning the passing of both Fidrych and Chambers. I wanted to work that into the strip, but, like the Red Sox, I'm not really hitting my groove right now.

[Jason O.]

Don't sell yourself short, Judge. You're a tremendous slouch.

[ponch]

If Chambers had done a porn set at Fenway would it have been called 'Behind the Green Monster'?

I need sleep, sorry.

[Kaz]

By the way, if you haven't checked out the Susan Boyle link, you should. Fugliest never-been-kissed woman in all of the UK....hell of a singing voice. Perfect correlation, h.b.

[vasoxfan]

Damn if the Sox could only channel the gumption and performance that Susan Boyle showed we would win the WS. She was amazing!!

[vermonter]

Caddyshack...nice, Jason.

Hey Bob, what's the name of the place on Canal (I think) where my bro and I met you and the wonderful Abby?

[Go Sox. Go Heels. Yankees Suck. Dook Sucks.]

C'mon people, we're supposed to panic. This is the Red Sox. Just because they've won it all a couple of times doesn't mean we all have to turn into reasonable, level-headed fans and approach baseball like an actuary figuring out the probability of getting run over by a bus on your way to work. This is the worst start we could imagine, and it's time to panic!

[soxdownunder]

I'm pannicking!

[soxdownunder]

PS And I'm full of shochu and very very good sushi. And yet I'm PANICKING. Swallows v Giants Thursday.

[Jason O.]

Cue louclinton:

-Marilyn Chambers
-Kleenex
-wipe away tears at funeral
-after many years of using the above to tidy other bodily fluids
-Irony

[louclinton]

what's your point?

[soxdownunder]

彼はどれも有しない

[yazbread]

Can't wait to see the corner's report on Fidrych. Cause of death - tire'd out.

[Bob]

Vermonter, if it was on Canal (speaking of which, RIP Marilyn Chambers), it was probably either Sullivan's Tap or maybe the Grand Canal.

But it could have been Pete's Pub on Blackstone Street. Now known Durty Nelly's (the pub, not the street).

[Jeff in NC]

Wow - Susan Boyle - wow.

and now, for something completely different...

Marilyn - hmmmm - my first (Private Fantasies).

And the Redsox are sucking when they should not be sucking - feels like old times. Those times were good right?

[vermonter]

Not Canal, then. A block or two over. Great Guinness pour, Australian Rules Football on tv, bar to the left as you enter...Irish, I think. They pour whiskey like it's milk.

[vermonter]

Mc-something...

[Rob in CT]

Hey, Jason.

The world needs ditch-diggers, too, ya know!

[Rob in CT]

SDU - Looking forward to the pics of your visit to the Land of the Rising Sun (tm)...

Happy Trails!

[Rob in CT]

Oh, and I have never looked at Ivory Snow detergent the same since I first found out about Marilyn C.

[sonomasox]

utter disaster was last night's game.

Most exciting part was Dustin's infield single...sent RSN into a friggin tizzy. Know things aren't going you're way when a dribble gets you excited...is that what's like to get old?

[yazbread]

Yes.

[RedStripe Nan]

H.B. - Thanks so much for the Susan Boyle link, made my day (as for sure the Sox did NOT)

[vermonter]

Got it...McGanns. Anyway, if there is a Game 5 for the B's, I'll be there by 4pm.

[Steve in MD]

Colin, the Rays winning/losing means little to me emotionally. They will have a few good years courtesey of a decade's worth of number one picks, but they won't be able to hold on to them long term because they couldn't even sell out the second home game of the season (there are still tickets available for tonight's game at last check) after wining the AL pennant. And they won't get high picks while they're riding high. They are not the long term menace the skanks are, so I don't have the same level of hatred I have for the mfy, (or the Cowboys, da Bears, Habs, Lakers, Golden Bears or Trojans for that matter).

[Bob]

Oh yeah, McGann's.

Remind us though. Game 5 is a ways away. (If necessary.)

[Bob]

Okay, fun diversion. How many of these Top Ten did you actually attend (not see, but attend)?

http://www.boston.com/sports/other_sports/04_11_09_moments/

Makes me feel like a very lucky man. I was at # 9, 5, 4, 2, and 1.

(Don't necessarily agree with this guy's order, but it's still a fun exercise. The only exercise I get, actually.)

[paddy24]

I think we're about to see radical changes. This team, as it stands right now, will not be scoring runs this year. Lowell's career is clearly over. He's the slowest runner in MLB history. He may hit into 50 double plays this year. He also can't bend over to field a ground ball. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets waived very soon. Papi's career is also very close to being over. We need at least two sluggers, in addition to a contact hitter. I would package Buccholz, Ellsbury and Lowrie to San Diego for first baseman Adrian Gonzalez. Move Youkilis to 3B. Play Lugo at SS. Bring up Anderson, or use Carter for DH. Trade Ortiz for a bag of balls. Waive Lowell. Waive Wakefield or trade him for whatever we can get. Place Bard and Smoltz on the roster. Trade for a new CF. Right now, we need a 3B, CF, DH, and SS. And we'll need a C soon, unless Kottaras does OK for Varitek. It's a myth that Varitek calls a great game. Maybe he used to, but not any more. This team looks old, and Ellsbury's hitting skills were way overrated. We should trade him before it becomes even more obvious. Lowell and Papi both look like they're 80 years old. No way will they help us this year. It's gonna get very nasty very soon, when both of them can't field their position or run, and both are hitting .190 well into June. Theo is gonna go berzerk with transactions very soon.

[DuBois]

Six games for Beckett.

[yazbread]

So maybe Theo should not have sat on his ass all winter?

[buckner was framed]

OK, why hasn't anyone commented on Natalie and her teal dress showing up in the Susan Boyle clip as the UK's Paula Abdul? I knew she said she went over there for work, but, really, who knew?

As for the Bruins' game 5, there will be one because I have tickets to it. Vermonter, Bob, Kaz and whoever else can make it to McGann's- first round's on me

[someone]

uh, one inning for the WBC MVP? Am I living in an alternate universe?

[NYSoxfan]

I'm listening to Joe Castiglione on the radio feed. Ellsbury singles with 2 outs off A's reliever Castilla in the 8th. Castiglione points out that baserunners are 20 for 20 in steal attempts off Casilla -- I'm thinking Ellsbury is defintely going to steal and the Sox bench must surely know this stat. First pitch is down and away and Ellsbury is just standing there. Pedroia was taking all the way, and probably wondering what the fuqq gives. A few more pitches and he fouls out, ending any wouldbe threat. And this is just another episode of the Bizarro Sox, the moody cast of characters calling themselves the Red Sox so far this season... WTF?!?

[someone]

not good

[SoxSweepAgain]

I stayed up for tonight's game, and I'm pissed.

[Bob]

@;30? 2:30?

I hate west coast games as much as I hate mayonnaise.

And I really, really hate mayonnaise.

[h.b.]

Bob,

One of my fave all time combos for a sandwich spread? Sriracha and mayo!