One slap at a time

Doug:
OK, so here's my sports page headline — "Van Every Stirs Fan Reverie!"

 

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Bill:
Ah, don't quit your day job kid.

 

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Doug:
Damn, and I heard that there is such a bright future in the newspaper biz.

 

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Bill:
OK, so where and the frig to the Red Sox find guys like Jonathan Van Every.

 

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Doug:
Seriously, hats off to Theo and Jed Hoyer and the entiah Red Sox scouting organization for creating such a deep bench of talent.

 

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Bill:
I didn't even know Van Every was on the rostah.

 

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Doug:
This Red Sox lineup is like the Slap Chop Remix.

 

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Doug:
"A little like this ... put the Van Every in, add some Nick Green right there, you hit it like this ...."

 

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Bill:
Hey, AL East, you're gonna love our nuts.

 

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Comments

[Harwich Rich]

Slappin' your troubles away is right Vince-lol

[Bob]

"You're gonna love our nuts."

Spoken by Vince, and also Bronson when he was hitting the colleges.

Tome to start the back page of the Herald headline contest:

"He Does Van Every Thing."

"This Van's a rockin', and he came a knockin'."

[Bob]

Oh. Try the veal. Really. It's not selling well.

Pork chops aren't doing so great either right now.

[Harwich Rich]

When pigs fly(or swine flew)

[vasoxfan]

h.b.
Hope you are well and

http://soxblog.projo.com/2009/04/van-every-trump.html

is busted for me.

[granular_serene]

van every did indeed get it done, but even more heartwarming is our bullpen awesomeness. starter getting knocked around? don't sweat it. eighth inning away game and you're tied? relax. need 4-6 innings of era 0.00 ball? call the best pen in the majahs. while i'd rather see penny getting something done and lester being the pitcher i know he is, i'm a lot more comfortable with innings 7-9 these days than i have been in a long time.

[louclinton]

Bob has the headline flu.

lc

[Kaz]

"Jonathan Van Every Man" is my headline submission.

[Kaz]

BTW, if you guys like the auto-tuned version of Vince with Slap Chop, you'll probably like these guys who auto-tune the news. The Katie Couric segment is hot. Shortay!

[Kaz]

Hmm, chewed up my URL link.

Try again...here's a link to the guys who auto-tune the news.

And again, in case it chews it up again:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBb4cjjj1gI

[yazbread]

Kaz - you beat me to the punch. I second Everyman. Anyone else not happy with those long fly ball outs that Paps is recording?

[louclinton]

no, i am positively giddy with Papi's fruitlessness

[Kaz]

Big Ploppy?

[SAC]

Honey, I'm out back swattin' the dog with the Kindle.

[Harwich Rich]

I thought Kris Kindle only came around at Christmas time

[granular_serene]

saw this dis on tek in the onion - angers me even tho i was saying the same thing end of last season. more appropos for papi these days...

[sonomasox]

JVE is the new BFE of RSN

Just trying to stay cool and hip for gen-tweet.

[Kaz]

Butt Fuck Egypt?

I think you mean BFF.

IDK, my BFF Jill?

[yazbread]

If Tek maintains his current .250 average across the season, we are getting more than we bargained for.

[sonomasox]

naw - I meant BFE but for lack of oxygen forgot about Egypt - being from Maine just about everything was BFE so it was always just "that way" - but was an obviously lame attempt to play off Every: best friend every-where (at the plate, on the field, blah, blah) - needless to say I won't be following Doug or Bob at open headline night.

[w8r]

the flyn dutchman in right!Ironic that he spent 7-8yrs up and down the Indians farm system.

[DuBois]

Wtf was up with DelCarmen? Two walks and a hit batter? This aggression will not stand, man.

[louclinton]

You're Welcome

[Bob]

Reverse thanks, LC.

I heard about the man boobs on EEI this morning.

So does A-Fraud need a Bro, or a Mansseire?

[sonomasox]

Neither - Madonna turned him on to cones.

[Steve in MD]

h.b. - you might be the only one reading this at this hour, especially given the disaster going on in Tampa Bay, but I didn't want to let this go by: Details on A-Rod's alleged pitch-tipping scheme in Texas at http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/baseball/mlb/04/30/roberts.qa/index.html?bcnn=yes

What peice of crap that guy is - tipping opposing players to pitches? WTF?

[Harwich Rich]

W...T...F...?????

[Kaz]

Yikes. Calgon take me away...

[Devine]

I am so embarrassingly grateful for that infield hit that got erased on a double play.

[Natalie]

What the FUCK happened last night? And what is going on with Beckett????

[Bob]

Kaz, you're just not old enough to use the Calgon line.

[Bob]

Madge from Billerica:

"Bad starting pitching...I'm soaking in it."