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Biscuits and Sausage Gravy

"One-Adam-Dunn, One-Adam-Dunn, see the man about an exorbitant contract."


Seriously, I don't see the fit for Dunn on this club.


Maybe if we hadn't signed Rocco, maybe …


Let's hope. I mean a guy asking 4/$56 who doesn't even like baseball is crazy talk.


Absolutely. I mean just because the Yankees have fattened up like Jessica Simpson at an all you can eat Shoney's buffet, doesn't mean we have to.



I'd rather pay Kent McCord 56 mil than Adam Dunn.

Just because fish is brain food doesn't mean you have to eat a whale :)

Dude, there is nothing wrong with Jessica Simpson looking like that. I would take her to Shoney's any time she wanted. It's better than her Posh Spice looking days for sure. Don't get me wrong, though, I am not about to want to marry into a family that has a "Bronx Mowgli" in it. Yeesh.

Jess definitely has been enjoying her biscuits and gravy. Not that there's anything wrong with that... Lack of talent ought to be the bigger concern.

Adam Dunn? Meh. Non-starter for me.

And I'll take a double order of Waffle House hash browns over anything Shoney's has to offer. Anytime.

Dunn, Varitek, Manny, Cassell, Torre, truck, snow, rain, cold,ARod, assholes, alcohol.


Scattered, covered, smothered, chunked, topped, and peppered.

Waffle House what? No, sorry, that was how I wanted Jessica Simpson...

I hear you, Kaz. I feel the same myself to tell you the truth.

I wonder if Tony Romo will stick by her.

I like to think this is a brilliant career move: she's done this intentionally to appeal to the country music crowd. She was having trouble winning them over, but now middle America can relate to her better. And she gets to be a victim, teased by the press for her weight. GENIUS.

Fat? I like this version of JS, clearly Bill's degenerate mind is excited by 16 year old anorexic asian girls.

Epstein and Donald Pleasance, aka Francona, would make it fit. 200 jacks in the last five years? A .381 career OBP WITH a high K/BB ratio? The man's career OPS+ is 130.

Count me worried if you fuckfaces sign him.

oh, and "fuckfaces"

All I meant Kaz is that she's in illustrious company,Steven Stills,Marlon Brando,Aretha...

How far the mighty have fallen. J.S. was working a chili cook-off in Florida. Really? That said, I am buying the general consensus here that a bit of meat on the bones is not a bad thing.

I think J.O. is trying the old *Double Reverse Gooch* (Pat. Pend.) with his Dunn comments. I'm NOT buying THAT. It take s fuckface to know a fuckface, Jason.

So, hey, whatever happened to Thursday Lostaholix? I would have thought time travel and freaky physics dude would be right up the characters' alley.

mmmmm, Shoney's. Loved me some Shoney's back in Charlottesville. You could go healthy w/ bagels (Bodo's) or dive right into the local grease after a solid night - my heart aches a bit.

Dunn??!! WTF. Theo can pay me half that to sit on the bench and strike out 10million times.

Where's Abby?

Don't ask that three times into a mirror, Sonomasox, or she'll appear.

I'm here. I'm wallowing in my Chicken of the Sea lamenting the tragedy that is Jessica Simpson

BTW, Bob, you're an ass.

Lovin' the Bob n' Abby show!! This is great. More, please.

Thank you Sir,may I have another?

Poor Jessica Simpson... that photo that's making the rounds was shot from underneath her...never a flattering angle. Of course, she didn't help herself with those jeans (WTF?) That said, if I played for that team, I'd hit it.

Billy Mahty, normally see eye to eye, guy, (aside from the Yanks thing) but have you seen country music female artists? They blow pop artists out of the water for skinny and hot (cf. Faith Hill, Carrie Underwood, Miranda Lambert, etc).

When is baseball going to get started already? (said with a distinct whine and pout) My 12 pounds a month for North American Sports Network (close enough to NESN to make me smile) is going to waste as I wait. Cricket is just damn dull.... and who can pick a Premier League team???

Adam Dunn... sheesh. Its starting to feel like watching an episode of Sanford & Son with Lamont (played by Theo) bringing home the truck full of used up shit, Fred (played by Francona) asking Lamont, the big dummy, what they're supposed to do with all that used up shit, and Esther (played collectively by us fans) screaming at both of them. Can we get that theme song played at the front end of the NESN broadcasts? or better yet, at the games when they announce the players?

oh, and JS... after the perfection of form that was Daisy Duke, there was nowhere to go but downhill...sitting in the middle of the pickup truck bench seat...slapping her head on the empty gun rack behind her...heading for steak night at the ungry heffer...retiring to Keller Williams' middle america in her double decker double wide.

Rob in CT: What? The guy is 28 and he rakes, plus he will eventually settle for around 5 million/yr. Are you kidding?

Sonoma says he strikes out a lot...Is this 1964? Does anyone know who Bill James is? Fuck it, I'm meeting Don and the fellas from Sterling Cooper at Toots Shor's after work for some laughs and a few gibsons.

Maybe that one Rockette I've had my eye on will be there...she's swell.

Oh awesome Mad Men reference. Just got into that show on DVD. Addictive. Not quite as addictive as The Wire, but up there. Don Draper is dreamy. :)

I particularly like LeVar Burton on Mad Men.

/"The Soup" reference

Daylight come and Tek wanna go home.

DAY! Me say DAYYY-O!

*** NO STRIP TODAY, FRI 01/30 ***

Sorry. Not only does the aforementioned project frogmarch continue, but in the also mentioned possibly restructuring/layoffs in my day job I've been forced to gear up for job hunt mode.

So I've been putting feelers out, updating my resume, and getting my portfolio in order, which has sucked up my strip writing time.

I will not get caught flat-footed.

Oh, and turns out TypePad was down for past 4 hours so couldn't post this sooner.

Could someone answer me why Varitek is getting treated so viciously by the fanbase? Hey, I know things are tough lately, but to suddenly decide these guys are overpaid(they are not - they are paid what the market will bear) is, well, r'tah'did.

I'm curious, Hart.

When putting together an updated resume, would it be your intention to include your Soxaholix blog and all the related accolades (WSJ, Bloggies, Globe, etc.)? Certainly your resume ought to be a "best foot forward" statement, and what could possibly be better? Of course that also runs the risk of your Clark Kent alter-identity becoming known.

Predicament? Opportunity? Tell us Superman, how will you handle Lex "Bad Economy" Luthor's devious plan?

Oh, and good luck to you. If it helps, I heard a bit on the news that college-educated unemployment is only ~ 3%. Lower in Australia.

"Could someone answer me why Varitek is getting treated so viciously by the fanbase? "

1. He is a subpar defensive player
2. The reason he turned down arbitration is that he wanted guaranteed money and didn't want to be cut loose the way Mirabelli was last year.
3. He is a subpar offensive player.
4. He reputation as being magic with pitchers grew in harmony with his handling P Martinez, the smartest pitcher of the last 20 years.
5. He is represented by Scott Borass, who encouraged Manny to cornhole the team all of last year.
6. He threw his family under the bus, and started banging the sideline whore on NESN.


I am right there with you Soulie. As a fan I want it all from each player - hitting/defense. But given a choice, as a fan, I like a 300 hitter, I can tolerate a 200 hitter (NL teams work around this issue all the time). What I can't stomach is blown defense - it f'in kills me. I expect 980-990 defense. I don't ever want to watch my team lose games because of a blown play at the plate, a passed ball, a crossup with the signals. I don't harbor ill will toward Buckner, but don't ever want to lose due to defensive miscues. So - while an all star, silver slugger catcher is nice to have, I am happy to have Tek back if our choices are Bard, etc. And if he can't settle his crazy stance and can't hit again this year - then fuck him. I'm not that stupid.

I'm w/ you Soulie...I don't think too many professional athletes have more than a couple brain cells - so they're puppets to their agent. Tek like the other 25 will always have a very special place.

Totally unrelated: for those of you raised in NE but now living away (south of Baltimore, west of Phily) - are friends asking you to repeat: "Say hello to your mothah" again and again??? It's a funny skit but I feel like a foreigner.

Well-said, l.c.

Also let's not forget that Tek pulled this same stuff right out of college when he held the Mariners hostage for a signing bonus and Tek chose to sit out his first post-college eligible year in MLB rather than play for a check he found insulting. That was a watershed moment in MLB and changed the entire relationship between draftees and clubs.

Was that all Boras? Perhaps, but I'm guessing the young Tek and Boras were a perfect match for each other.

Ironically, what works when you're 21 doesn't always work the same when you are a bit long in the tooth.

Be that as it may, LC, it's a very, very personal assault.

I guess as I get older, I have a different perspective. We, the fans, project the dumbest stuff on these people. We have no clue what their outside lives are like, we don't really understand the day-to-day routine of being an athlete. We expect them to be model citizens and infallible executers of their skill. And we always forget this is a business. The Sox and Tek are making business decisions, not participating in a morality play.

So, fine, Tek is long in the tooth, and it might be time to part ways. What this "What a greedy SOB who should go and rot in a van down by the river" poison....it's exactly why athletes keep their distance from the fans. And it makes being a fan less enjoyable.

" The Sox and Tek are making business decisions, not participating in a morality play."

True, but that's not the question you asked. You asked why he was getting such a hard time from fandom of RSN. If you don't want the answer, don't ask the question.

Personally, I'd handle in a way similar to Varitek, although his choice of poon has always been mysterious, to say the least.


No, sonomasox, they don't ask me to do it...I just have a habit of saying it anyways. But thanks for asking. By the way, how's your mothah doin? Say hello to her for me, okay?

As for what I think about Tek right now, well, I think initially he got some bad advice (likely from Boras). He turned down arbitration feeling like he might get a buzz and competition going with another team to drive up his price tag. It didn't happen and that was the risk he took. I don't blame a man for trying to get a better offer, although if I were in his same position with the previous year's stats I certainly wouldn't have walked away from arbitration and a guaranteed $10M/1yr. So, no hard feelings, it's all business.

Then, the player market took a nosedive and the "always upwards" contracts that Boras liked to negotiate dried up. Boras still did his damnedest for his youngest talent and pissed off Tek's backup plan. Again, no fault of Tek's other than having Boras for an agent (not my choice, I'm more of a Jerry McGuire player where I look for a guy I like and can work with on a smaller scale than the biggest shark who can get his payday from any and all of his clients).

Now, with Boras sitting on a pile of money gotten by burning bridges with Tek's old team, with the dead albatross of a high draft pick tied around his neck because he walked away from arbitration, with only weeks left until pitchers and catchers, with John Henry making a personal trip to Tek's house to smooth over hard feelings...the Sox still come back and offer Tek $5M and two options for playing a second year along with incentive pay that can bring the $5M back closer to the $10M he walked away from earlier. And what does he do? By all appearances, he's decided to blow it off and wait longer to see if someone else will jump at him or if he can leverage any kind of Sox desperation as the season gets closer.

Well, now, fuck'em. He's gotten us to 2 WS trophies, multiple no-hitters, and more. Always grateful for the Sox history..but he's spit on the team and the game at this point by not reciprocating the gratitude when his team gave him a way back after all of his back-turning moves this off season. Maybe his "Captain"-dom went to his head, but when you're the team's captain you don't walk away from the team when they reopen the door for you. So, yeah, he's a lesser man today than anything I ever felt about him when he was largely considered an automatic out last year. At least then I was always rooting for him to pick it back up or make one of those 1-for-5 hits in the 9th to keep a rally going even if he never seemed to do so. There's nothing valid in how he's behaving now to root for or hope for him to come back. I don't think he's capable of accepting reality for what it is...so let him sit at home and watch the games on NESN and pout. I'm guessing the team might even *still* be willing to take him back, but he's going to have to be a really humbled fuck before I see it happening now.

Sources: Sox's deadline doesn't existComment Email Print By Jayson Stark
Archive The Friday morning deadline for Jason Varitek to accept the Boston Red Sox's "final" contract offer doesn't actually exist, according to sources familiar with the negotiations.

The Red Sox have told Varitek's agent, Scott Boras, they wanted an answer Friday to their one-year, $5 million offer, which could also contain an option for 2010.

But the source referred to the 8:30 a.m. deadline -- which has been characterized of late as being 8:30 a.m. Pacific Standard Time; Boras' headquarters are in California -- as being "kind of a media creation."

So the wait for Varitek to respond goes on, with no assurance the Red Sox will even get the answer they've asked for by the end of the day.

The Red Sox are trying to resolve their catching situation before pitchers and catchers report to spring training on Feb. 12. They signed backup Josh Bard this offseason but reportedly will pursue a trade if Varitek does not return for his 13th season with the team.

Since Varitek declined the Red Sox's offer to go to arbitration, his desirability to other clubs decreased because the offer of arbitration requires a club to give up a draft choice if it signs the catcher.

Senior writer Jayson Stark covers Major League Baseball for ESPN.com.

Alright, I temper my feelings on Tek back to primarily indifference based on what daubie just wrote, but if it still turns out that Tek walks away from this team with the offer that's currently on the table, then I will return to what I've laid out above.

From RedSox.com:

While reports surfaced that the deadline was 8:30 a.m. ET on Friday, a Red Sox official said that was not the case, but that the club was hoping to have a resolution by the end of the day.

For what it's worth, I don't think the Soxaholix characters have been especially hard on Tek and they definitely have not been making "a very, very personal assault."

And maybe I'm not hanging out in the right places, but my pulse of RSN isn't that Varitek has become a scourge of fans.

What I'm seeing of anti-Varitek sentiments is nothing compared to what Manny got on a good day well before his transgressions of this past season.

Of course, if Tek is your fave player, which I'm guessing might be the case Soulie, then the criticism of Tek will seem amplified.

yeah, I'm hurt by Tek's spitting on the team and the game - it's piss poor at best - hardly captain material. He still is one of the 25. And, I'm probably trying to ease myself into what happens when this scenario replays w/ Papi as the antagonist. I dread the day.

Hi Abby - say hi to your mothah for me.

The Tek situation is making for a great debate.

I just can't get on board with trashing the guy. It is in fact a business decision by both sides, a bargaining/negotiating game, and yes, personal feelings are a part of it all - anyone who thinks otherwise has never had to negotiate or compete for services. Varitek will ultimately receive what the market will bear.

This pissing contest they are in does not diminish his past achievements. He did not pully a Manny or even a Garciaparra on the team - he played for all he had (be that a bit less than before) all the way to the last inning last season. I suspect, but can't ever know, that Tek is feeling insulted by the offer. We all applauded Torre for refusing an insult, but we disparage Tek?

I think Tek is mistaken about his worth - he obviously doesn't think so. I don't see that he has treated his own team badly, any more than I think the Sox should overpay just becuase of past performance.

Does he belong on the team now? Theo will let us know. Regardless of the answer, he still is a great Redsox player who leaves behind great memories and a few rings. I just can't bash the guy.

maybe its because i bought that really expensive Varitek team jersey - Damn!

Is it beer cart time yet?

T minus 2 hours and 7 minutes.

Is it beer cart time yet?
Normally I would say 'ask Bob' but this week I'll say 'ask Abby'.


Jason Varitek has reached a two-year agreement with the Red Sox, SI.com has learned. The captain decided to return after many twists and turns in negotiations.

The Red Sox gave Varitek a deadline of today to accept their offer, which was reportedly worth $5 million for this year, with an option for 2010 in which Boston could accept at $5 million or Varitek could at $3 million.

Link|Comments (0) Posted by Chad Finn, Globe Staff January 30, 2009 02:16 PM
Jason Varitek and the Red Sox have agreed to a one-year contract with an option, a baseball source confirmed to the Globe's Tony Massarotti.

Varitek will earn $5 million in 2009, with the club holding a $5 million option for 2010. If the Red Sox do not pick up that option, Varitek has the choice of remaining with the club on a $3 million deal. In '10, he can earn another $2 million in incentives based on playing time, beginning at 80 games started.

Thus, the potential total value of the deal increases from $8 million-$10 million to $10 million-$12 million. The incentives apply to both the team and player options for 2010.

Tek has been the core and captain of this Red Sox team for a reason. I am very glad he stuck with them, and i hope he retires in 2 years and joins the Sox as a coach for many years to come.

My bad HB is I seem like the characters are ripping Tek. Not the case.

I just don't see why fans put such moral judgement on these type of things. And it's not just Tek, either. The hot air around Manny was just silly.

Tek was never a fav, either. Good catcher, calls a great game, punched A-Rod in the face. But there will always be other players and personalities. I was a big Trot fan, but he didn't age well, and I moved on.

Meh, I probably deserve this for reading the comments on boston.com. Not as enlightened as y'all here.

we're busting out MOMOSA stuff... we trump bob's lame beer cart...

we're busting out MOMOSA stuff... we trump bob's lame beer cart...

Tek is back, all is well. Those boston.com comments are fuqqin ridiculous. Those are the same blowhards who listen to that Herald assjack Howie Carr, a Bostonian Limbaugh. Methinks they doth protest too much (and don't know baseball like they think they do)...

in re: Vtk

1. whatever
2. good for him

Barkeep-Duvels all around.


Have an apple-tini while you're at it, Abby.

BTW some more acute warning signs at the day job of bad things to come ...

Feels like I'm on one of those clubs who come Labor Day is 20 games out of the wild card race.

And per previous question, yes, leveraging both identities for all its worth, anonymity be damned!

Bob.... S-C-R-E-W

I'd like to say that my personal diatribe above was read by Varitek and he manned up and came back to the team after realizing what a mistake it would be not to...

So I will. I'd like to thank you, Tek, for taking my words to heart and coming back in time for the season. It was the right thing to do for many disparate reasons. I'll always remember this as the day I brought Varitek back to the Red Sox...unless he sucks really bad and costs us the 2009 World Series, then I was never here.

h.b., Think Positive!!

Sonomasox - how is Tek pissing on the game? See, I just don't get this. He's looking out for #1. Same as we all would. Would you prefer that all players have to go to ownership, hat in hand, every season like in the old days? That didn't work very well.

Honestly, this is like watching Caps fans eat their own when Kolzig left town.

People are starting to break open beers already, so drizzle, drazzle, drozzle, drome...

Have a great weekend, all. Hopefully we'll have something fun to yak about on Monday.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/technology/bickering-couples-move-in-online/2009/01/30/1232818725598.html "> Bickering couples move in online

When I saw the headline I thought that this creepy place and Bob & Abby had made the front page of the Sydney newspaper.

5 year old sox fan started school. Mrs sdu & I bereft!

Sierra Nevada on tap, half price till 8pm. Life has its moments... bonne weekend Sox Nation

"have you seen country music female artists?"

Ah, yeah, good point, Natalie. And now I'm seeing eye to eye with you on this one.

Natalie - Premier League team: I said it before and I'll say it again Portsmouth. End of.

But you're right about cricket.

Well that about wraps it up for God: see Kurt Warner's 2001 victory speech; cf Hitchhikers Guide to the Galazy.

Oh, and Natalie, with unfeigned respect to the Designated Sitter and Pompey: Liverpool FC.

See, this is why I have a problem! DS says Portsmouth, you say Liverpool, my friend Steph says Chelsea, and my boyfriend here is a Man U guy (I would never go for Man U, that's like being a Yankees fan). It's impossible to decide! And to be honest, I really haven't given it much thought, although watching the Chelsea/Liverpool game yesterday was damn fun.
Oh, and we got 6 inches of snow here last night. First snow of the season. I hate it. :)

How was the Superbowl? What good ads did I miss?


Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
But you'll never walk alone!

It's that simple.


Why is Jerry Lewis ringing in my head, SDU?

Quite a 4th quarter last night. But watching that game made me even more angry the Patriots didn't get into the playoffs. Easy win against either of those teams.

Nat refers to her "boyfriend here."

Does that imply you she keeps one "here" and another "there"?

Oh that's funny, hb! Never been a girl that can multitask men. I used here because he was sitting next to me when I was typing... :)

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