Marty rings out 2008 with a soliloquy

Marty:
[Sound of a phone ringing] Ah, c'mon, Billy Boy, pick it up why don't ya …

 

---

Empty office, Bill's voicemail picks up:
[Bill's voicemail greeting] "You've reached the desk of Bill Callaghan. I'll be out of the office on vacation until January 5th …"

 

---

Marty:
Oh, whatever, Callaghan, you can't stay on vacation for ever. Your day of reckoning with the Yankees fission powered hot stove reactor is coming.

 

---

Marty:
Hah, and by January the Yankees will have probably signed a few more premier free agents while Theo Epstein stands around with his thumb up his ass.

 

---

Marty:
Oh, wait, wait, my bad. Theo *is* about to sign those two titans of baseball legend, Josh Bard and Brad Penny. Oh, the boy genius strikes again. How can we Yankees ever hope to compete with such "smarts"?

 

---

Marty:
Bwahaha! Suck it Red Sawx fans.

 

---

Comments

[Ray]

Penny I'm kind of excited about. . . Bard is killing me.

[Harwich Rich]

Maybe this time he'll learn to catch Wake's knuckler.

[Ray]

Or maybe with a little work in the cage, he can raise his average to match Varitek's lofty .220 averagve from last year.

[buckner was framed]

Brett F*ing Fav-rah, and now Marty.....

Thank God for those first place Bruins

[Deepsub]

I like the Bard signing. Look at what he did after the Sox traded him to the Padres for Mirabelli. I'm not worried about him catching the knuckleball, I think he may be 'Tek's replacement.

Totally pumped about the Bruins so far. Nice turnaround Julien, very nice.

[COD]

I think Mangini threw the game once he knew the Ravens were going to win. That asshole would take great pleasure in being the "spoiler" by losing.

Oh well, when is truck day?

[Soulie]

I had a turd of a Xmas weekend, and to have Marty show up on Monday seals the deal.

As a reformed Bruins, and now Washington Caps fan, I am thrilled to see the B's and the Caps atop of the eastern Conference.

[yazbread]

Not a great holiday sports-wise. Celtics drop a couple, an 11-5 Pats team stays home, and Theo .... (well, in Theo we trust)


Well maybe the Bruins hoist the cup this year.

[sonomasox]

The weekend losses sucked - even the win sucked - but it's still great to be in center of the sports world. Sure beats being from about a million other cities.

Never that much of a B's fan...I'm now learning who plays on the team. Do the B's have pink hats?

[Harwich Rich]

unfortunately

[IsaacL]

I refuse to watch the Bruins unless they make the Stanley Cup Finals. Brett Fucking Favre ...

[yazbread]

Hey Marty - your boy Mangini just got canned.

[Steve in MD]

I think Bill Belichek would have traded missing the playoffs to see Mangini fired.

Brett's done - he embarassed himself in the last 4 games. Ted Thompson is still a fu*king idiot though...

[h.b]

*** Next Strip 01/05/09 ***

We'll get things rolling again after the New Year.

We are still a long haul from Truck Day, but there is something about having Christmas behind us that always gets me feeling that first tinge of excitement for spring and the new season.

[Harwich Rich]

...and Bob will be back,so that in itself will give us something to yack about.(Just kidding big guy) Hope you and Abby are having a good vacation.

[Natalie]

Happy New Year to all the Soxaholix! My wishes for this new year's eve are simple: that nothing burns down this year. :) Off to Paris, will raise a glass of champagne to one and all.

Here's to a great 2009, with some hot stove action from Theo when we all return...

[Scott]

Happy Holidays!

Brett Farve sucks donkey balls

Love the Josh Bard signing.

That is all.

[sonomasox]

gotta like the Penny deal too. Pure Theo: sign a guy after one bad year and resulting value decline. Little downside a lot of upside.

[Kaz]

Happy New Year to all.

Is it bad that I bought my brother a pair of tickets to every Orioles Sunday home game for the upcoming season...just so I could go with him to either the Aug 2nd or Sept 20th (or both) games against the Red Sox at Camden Yards?

Hehehe.

[Ray]

Kaz - definately not bad - "Fenway South" is the only way I can afford to see the Sox play. . .

Are you a Baltimoron too?

[Harwich Rich]

Prospero Ano all, especially those of us far away.

[sonomasox]

Happy New Year to all SoHB and DoHB!

Nat - how's the teal dress work in Paris?

[louclinton]

[with apologies to Roger Angell]

Greetings, friends, please take a seat
As we search for Hot Stove heat.
Your humble writer has endured
An off-season fouler than a turd.

In search of warmer, gentler times
Let’s go back to Summer through these rhymes.
’08 was great, except of course
The end, which shattered with great force.

Down to the last, the boys recovered
And then The Rayzzzz; our hopes were smothered
But lest we think that all is lost
Let’s recall Summer amidst the frost.

Dice-K, Lowery, Okajima
With Papelbon, who needs the Steamah?
Mikey picked ‘em, Jacoby ran
Yoooouk’s a monster, Papi’s hand...

Tito rocked, and so did Dustin
Theo dealt. God Praise Justin.
Beckett was a batter tamer.
Nancy’s hypobaric chamber...

One fine day came Jason Bay
The same day Manny went away.
Coco Crisp was held in check
As was our Captain Varitek.

Lester’s bester, Bucholz not
Yankees lacked a pissed-in pot.
Will that change in 0 0 9?
The games are played between the lines.

Timmy’s floatah; That was nifty.
Fenway beers? Pay $7.50.
Schilling couldn’t come to play
Yet still he had some words to say.

And for the Soxaholix crew.
I guess we still have some work to do.
Kaz, Nat, Bob and Harwich Rich
They hardly ever miss a pitch.

Sonomasox, Steve in MD,
Yazbread, even Jeff in NC.
Nolasox is on the crew.
Pawsawxpop, we remember you.

The nonbeliever, Jason O
Soxdownunder, good on yo’
Countless others fill days nights
With haikus, slams and keen insights.

Last, not least, the great Hart Brachen
To him we simply give a token
Of our gratitude and thanks
For creepy strips and surly cranks.

Thanks for a great year, kids. See you in the Series.

lc

[Steve in Md]

/Is it bad that I bought my brother a pair of tickets to every Orioles Sunday home game for the upcoming season...just so I could go with him to either the Aug 2nd or Sept 20th (or both) games against the Red Sox at Camden Yards?/

Kaz, I'm not sure your brother is going to thank you - did you happen to notice the O's record on Sunday games last year? They lost like 16 in a row!

[soxdownunder]

In a series of rhyming couplets, an elderly gentleman has compendiously summarised a season, and part – Godwilling, the worst part - of an off season. Throwing aside the surly bitterness and degenerate pithiness that oft underscore his observations, the scribe (who boasts to have supported Franklin Roosevelt’s ‘New Deal’ which, apparently, can be ‘looked up’) sends bouquets to many of the regular correspondents to the ‘website’ (a vile phrase) while ignoring some of the irritating so-called ‘trolls’.

If one has a criticism – and one is always reluctant to criticise such a Herculean (or is Quixotic?) attempt – it is the omission of soe notable Soxaholix from the third and fourth stanzas. Springing to the antipodean mind are, for instance, and without in any sense attempting to be exhaustive, are the ‘nice one’ (I speak, of course, of ‘Rob of Connecticut’), ‘da kine’ whose http://kintees.com/ "> range of t shirts
range of t-shirts [] brings some joy and Tessie who deserves mention if only by virtue of her enduring the stigma of living in, gulp, Cleveland Ohio.

Nevertheless, an outstanding contribution: the rhyming of ‘Jason O’ and “yo’” in the ultimate verse was moving in its gritty, street wise, almost hip hop inspired simplicity.

Yes, Lou - and all the rest of you scamps - happy New Year. What a year 2009 will be for Bob & Abbie in particular. A Fenway wedding. Sweeeeeet.

sdu

[Harwich Rich]

Outstanding LC :)

[yazbread]

Will someone please euthanize Dick Clark.

[buckner was framed]

I thought they already did....

lc, you raised your own bar a tad higher

[Kaz]

Hi, Ray. I am a Baltimoron transplant to Boston. The rest of the family is still down there in the Baltimore/DC region while I'm up here in Boston.

Lou, that was inspired and inspiring.

Steve in MD, yeah, my brother mentioned that after I told him what I was getting him. We had a good laugh about it. Would it be too much to ask that the O's play great baseball next year and have more of their Sunday games moved to the night game for ESPN (so as to let them avoid the deadly day game for them)? Heh.

Yazbread, I'm not so sure we weren't watching "Weekend at Bernie's" accidentally instead. Also, what in the sheer hell happened to Kellie Pickler?? Where has our cute vixen simpleton gone and who replaced her with this over-plasticized retarded tart?

[Kaz]

A little bit of hot stove news:

Starbury might be coming to the Celtics.

I like the move, but I might be the only one. Also, it's sad that the height of the Red Sox hot stove is Celtics news....

[Jason O.]

Sorry to offend any BC people here, but you lost to Vanderbilt on 12/31.

The first bowl victory for the Commodores since 1955. The first winning season since 1982.

I'm able to identify with your mood in 2004.

[Kaz]

BC sucks. I'm glad they lost.

--Sincerely, A BU Alum

[h.b.]

*** OK, NEXT STRIP JAN 06? ***

Sorry, gang, I'm having trouble getting motivated this morning, so I'm going to wait at least another day before getting a new strip out.

[Natalie]

hb- I so don't blame you. My motivation was so low yesterday that I bargained with myself that I'd get up at 4am this morning to do a report I had procrastinated rather than do it on the pre-planned Sunday (the bargain reached because I was oh so busy watching the third season of the Wire from beginning to end. Simply awesome, that show.)

Where the hell is our hot stove? Theo? Theo? Anyone? :)

[Bob]

Urg. Back at work.

Typically, the very first step I take outside my apartment building this morning took place on a deadly sheet of ice. I fell backwards, hit my head on the last step of the stoop, then slid across the sidewalk and slammed into a parked car.

Stop laughing! Stop laughing I tell you.

[sonomasox]

quite impressive LC. The ice and snow bring out your most prolific.

in re BC. Pretty sure UNC doesn't think they suck.

Have a drink Bob anstopyerbitchin.

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!

[NolaSox]

SDU and Bob, one week left to wear your "Let Jim In" kintees shirt.

[louclinton]

RIP Carl Pohlad

[Kaz]

If Pohlad had any sense of humor at all, his will would begin by bequeathing the ownership of the team to his grandson, Billy Heywood.

[Bob]

From your mouth to God's ears, NolaSox.