I'm au fait, you're au fait, we're all au fait

Doug:
Ok, so I've been thinking …

 

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Mike:
Oh sweet Jesus …

 

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Doug:
It's like this … Remembah the joke saying that George Bush was a man born on 3rd base who thought he hit a triple.

 

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Mike:
Yep, coasting on privilege and all that.

 

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Doug:
Well, I'm glad you bought into it because here's my tweaked for 2009 version — Caroline Kennedy is a woman born on home plate who thinks she hit a walkoff homah.

 

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Mike:
Dude, don't mess with the daughtah of Camelot, they're our Royalty.

 

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Doug:
I'm sure John Adams and Paul Revere would just love to hear you saying that. I mean it's not like they fought a revolution or anything to break free of the tyranny of monarchy.

 

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Mike:
So, ah, meanwhile, the "Sons of Bill Simmons" website is reporting that sources have confirmed to them, that the Boston Red Sox have agreed in principle to an eight-year deal with first basemen Mark Teixeira.

 

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Doug:
OK who and the frig are the Sons of Bill Simmons? And they have "sources?" WTF?

 

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Mike:
Hey, it's the interwebs guy. No holds barred.

 

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Doug:
Christ, I expect to wake up tomorrow to find the Spaghetti Cat announcing an imminent trade of Mike Lowell.

 

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Comments

[Harwich Rich]

...and Sam.Don't forget Sam Adams :)

[Natalie]

Ahhhh, a Spaghetti Cat reference. Nice. Can we expect a Chicken Cutlets or Empress of Lucite mention next? :) (for those who have no idea what I am talking about, you must check out dlisted- utterly hilarious site, as hb has mentioned before).

I actually think the Sox are getting Texeira. I have no more sources than the Sons of Bill Simmons, just a hunch.

Merry merry to one and all! Off to Spamalot with the family tonight. Rob in CT, will think of you watching the Monty Python goodness.

[louclinton]

spaghetti cat rules.

Anyone up for a Sons of LouClinton Board?

Too bad, you're all banned.
lc

[Harwich Rich]

Still surly but lovable

[Matt of CT]

Are SoBS people who can't get into SoSH and bitter that they can't post on the internets?

[yazbread]

Carolyn Kennedy as senator? Makes sense if you believe in strange women lying in ponds distributing swords as the basis for a system of government.

[Billy Mahty]

There's gotta be a Sons of Mario Cuomo joke in there somewhere.

[Bob]

And yazbread hits it out of the park.

Anyway, Tex (evidently pronounced "Tesh") is starting to get on my nerves. Playing the frigging Washinton Nationals against actual major league teams just to draw out every las penny?

Come on, Tesh. Are you a man, a mouse, or in an office with short ceilings Being Scott Boras?

[Kaz]

Do the Red Sox have a shortstop or a catcher yet?

Oh, well, good thing we're gonna get a 3rd power hitting infielder.

[Bob]

Here's a little holiday story that should bring you all some cheer:

SkankeesEvenSuckAtHavingMoney

[louclinton]

“Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark”

[louclinton]

What's great about the MotherFucking Yankees tax is that it (the additional tax) exceeds the entire Florida marlins payroll ($21,836,500)

[Harwich Rich]

Very witty Lou,very very witty. :)

[sonomasox]

Brilliant again HB - and thanks for the early x-mas present: back to back strips during a hot stove recession!!

Happy days to all, safe travels and keep the sriracha away from the candy canes.

Would this makes us SoHB?

[Bob]

The latest (2:45) from boston.com:

The Yankees are in deep discussions with Teixeira, in what is now an attempt to beat out the rival Red Sox for Teixeira's services. The Teixeira sweepstakes is considered to be a three-team battle with the Nationals still involved. However, the Yankees' talks have turned serious in recent hours, as the team appears to be stepping up its attempts to lure the free-agent slugger to New York.

[Bob]

The Skanks got him. Oh well, at least their luxury tax will be even higher next year.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3790141

[COD]

If Tex joins the Skanks, that will put the 4 highest paid players in baseball on the Yankees. It'll be fun to watch them explain why they are watching the World Series on TV next Oct.

[Steve in MD]

So I guess the SoBS were full of BS. I've never been in favor of a true salary cap before, but this is f*ing bullsh*t. I expect to hear that they've signed Manny and D-Low at any moment.

[Matt of CT]

Well now, we can chalk up all that "what do we do with Lowell/Papi/Yoook" chatter to useless banter, amirite?

What will Spaghetti Cat say?

[soxdownunder]

Theo hibernates
CC, AJ y Mark Tex
We get Tazawa!

[Steve in MD]

Talk about coal in my Christmas stocking: this on top of last night's Packers debacle in Chicago. What's next - news that the Lakers have traded 3rd round draft picks for LeBron and D-Wade?

[Billy Mahty]

Finally there is some parity in the AL East again. (j/k)

So any guesses as to where Manny will end up? I'd guess one of the Chicago teams, L.A. Dodgers, Detroit, Mets, or Yankees.

[sonomasox]

I ain't no Nostradamus but I did call this yesterday.

Victory will be all the sweeter.

[Kaz]

Steve in MD, I actually believe the Sox *were* on the verge of signing him. Then Boras said *just* the right thing to Hank the Skank Steinbrenner to make him blow his wad...of cash. Namely, Boras probably said, "The Sox are about to take us 'cheap'".

I think Theo and Henry did everything right here by not slobbering on a Boras client, basically telling him to take a hike (in order to drive the price down to within reason), and letting the Yankees go bozo for Boras instead. If the Yankees play it smart, we get a reasonable deal on Tex. Since they didn't, we don't get Tex, but the Yankees are unlikely to be able to get much of anything else they really needed (like..hmm, PITCHING?). Maybe not a win-win...but a win-draw, none the less.

[Wes]

To Kaz,

At this point I don't think there is a limit to the Yanks spending! ESPN is reporting that they are actually under last year's ridiculous $220 million payroll. I'm still not sure how! But I'm also hearing something about them not paying Luxury tax next year because they financed the building of the new stadium? Can anyone confirm that?

[mike h]

I can't decide who I hate more in this situation: Boras or the Yankees.

M

[Harwich Rich]

This rivalry is about to get VERY nasty

[Scott]

The Red Sox are cheap. They couldn't get that guy out in the playoffs and now they face him 19-times next season. All for a measly (in their world) 10-million dollar difference. They had better use the money saved for some starting pitching or a catcher. I certainly hope Lowell's hip will be ready to go too.

On the political scene if we continue to have antiquated laws on the books that allow the Governor to appoint Senators in this situation then we must live with the selection. A Kennedy or highest bidder either way. The law is to blame here not the Governor.

[Bob]

//But I'm also hearing something about them not paying Luxury tax next year because they financed the building of the new stadium? Can anyone confirm that?//

True, but not completely. There's definitely some sort of luxury tax break.

But to say the Skanks financed that stadium is a joke. Mayor Bloomberg mainly financed the new Toilet Bowl.

Anyway, I'm out of here in an hour, so here's a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanaaaaughukah, and Kwazy Kwanzaa to everyone. I have the rest of this week and all next week off, so until a week from Monday, here's hoping we have something fun to yak about on January 5.

[Harwich Rich]

Happy Holidays to all who visit this creepy site and as always thanks hb :)

[Edgy Reggie]

Cashman's stealth approach fools Boston management AGAIN! They flew down to Texas thinking they had Tex in the bag. Turns out, according to Gammons, Tex thought Henry and Lucchino were assholes. Some good move by Henry calling Boras' bluff. Double your pleasure, double your fun for the Yanks. We get Tex, and keep him from Boston. OK, let the flip-flopping on Tex's value and the sour grapes whining from Boston fans begin!