How's Dice-K with flooring the geriatrics?

Doug:
OK, people, time to grease your genitals and Chlorox your no-no hole — It's AL Pennant defense time.

 

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Bill:
Nothing friggin like it. I still can't believe this — 4 ALCS appearances in the last 6 seasons. Un.Buh.Lievable.

 

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Doug:
So who stahts game 1? I'm hearing a lot of people suggesting Dice-K to give Beckett another recovery day.

 

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Bill:
Ah, perfect, because, you know, there's nothing I'd rather do between now and Friday night than chew and tinfoil and wondah which Matsuzaka will show up — The wildly wild Matsuzaka or the mildly wild Matsuzaka.

 

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Doug:
Seriously. I need to go ovah to the Topsfield Fair and ask the freak show guy if I can borrow his fucking bed of nails to lay on while watching the game.

 

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Bill:
So leave it to Shaughnessy to find a way to pound on the series with his historical sledgehammah.

 

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Doug:
What I want to know is to Tampa Bay get permission from the doctahs to take Zimmah off the life support machines? Dude is oldah than dirt.

 

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Bill:
And he looks more like a gerbil than evah.

 

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Doug:
Gotta love this line from Zim: "Why wouldn't you think you can win when you win 97 games?"

 

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Author's Notes
Doug's first line is a derivation of this original from Dlisted.

Bill:
I dunno Zimmah, why don't you call up your buddy Sciosa and ask him?

 

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Author's Notes
Doug's first line is a derivation of this original from Dlisted.

Comments

[Frank (not TV)]

I wondered what had happened to him after the left the yankees. Had no idea that Zim was with the rays now. Pretty scary picture in the Globe this morning.

Rays are going to be tougher than the angels, though. I'm worried about the rotation, too.

[Natalie]

Oh, I love Dlisted. Also hilarious for that sort of thing is Idontlikeyouinthatway.com.

Sky TV is all installed and I have LIVE Sox baseball Friday 1am. Gonna be a late night, kids, but I am up for it. Woot!

[Colin]

Anyone still catching the sour grapes from the OC Angels faithful?

Man the Lackey comments still make my blood start to heat up. Luckily the comfort of schadenfreude prevents a stroke at age 24.

[Bob]

Pedro's never been quite the same since he face-planted Zimmer. (Beacon Hill Pub, my best Howard Cossell imitation ever: "Down goes Zimmer! Down goes Zimmer!")

I think when Petey grabbed Zimmer's gigantic frying pan head, he actually ripped several tendons.

So, everyone's saying Dice-K in Game 1. Against Shields, right?

If I were Tito, I'd make it a mind game for these upstarts. Put Wakefield on the mound in that shopping mall dome.

Old man at Tropicana Field talking to old woman wife: "Oooooo, Wakefield has quite the flutter ball, honey."

Old woman: "Ooooo, your teeth fell out, dear. And you have nacho cheese all over your pants."

Old man: "That's not nacho cheese my lovely. It's the shit created from all that creamed corn you feed me day after day after day you bitch."

(Old man machetes wife to death on national TV. Hey, it IS Florida.)

[Harwich Rich]

Zim just hasn't been the same since he played Matador with Petey :)

[Harwich Rich]

Sorry Bob-missed your post(great minds think alike)

[h.b]

Considering the bad blood between these two clubs over the years, I wonder if we might see some bench clearing action?

[Steve in MD]

/Considering the bad blood between these two clubs over the years, I wonder if we might see some bench clearing action?/

Can we get Batshit or Arroyo back for this series? Then we would have some fun!

[Jeff in NC]

Observations:

Wake & bake in Game 1 sounds good.

Abide the Tek.. Schilling did not abide - no nono, Lester did - yes nono, Game 3 Beckett "palsied" his way thru non-abidance.., Delcarmen stayed with the Tek on the anti-squeeze ops.., complete the pattern kids.

Maddon played coco like a fiddle earlier this year - the Rays are no longer skeered of the big bad bosox.

The Rays are tough, but are not yet experienced enough to grease up the genitals or the nono hole - a simple oversight by the young that will result in pain, failure, and the loser's inevitable time alone with themselves putting things in order with their own equipment saying "At least I'm playing with the better team"

[yazbread]

Has anyone noticed that Schilling is doing is best to garner some last minute attention in the press before retiring? First a comment about maybe pitching for half the season next year and something this morning via the AP wire about the Sox-Rays rivalry. The playoffs must be pure pain for him without a microphone shoved in his face.

[Jeff in NC]

yea, schilling said he was wondering how life without a structured off season would go, that he wasn't sure how that would feel. Seems like code for wondering how it would feel when even the last 10 of his followers stopped giving shit about his opinions

[Rob in CT]

"I'd have bitten Barnett's ear off," said Lee. "I'd have Van Goghed him!"

God, I love the Spaceman! Thanks for the link, h.b.

I also agree with Bob. Flutter-ball the bastards in Game 1. Wakey-wakey, eggs and bakey.

[Scott]

I don't think the Rays will be making the same mistakes as the Angels did. They seem loose as a porn stars "no no hole". Let's hope the bats come around and the pitching remains solid.

Will Papi show up in this series. He is not the presence he once was. Is the wrist going to improve or are we just going to have to live with lucky singles and an occasional double from here on out?

[BriSox]

Long time reader, first time poster. Had to give a shout out to my hometown Topsfield, MA and the fair which attracts MA's best!

Go Sox!

[h.b]

It's official: Matsuzaka is the starter for #1 and Beckett for #2. Lester #3 and Wake #4.

[Colin]

I think having Lester for the home game was the right call. Lester is the confirmed ace of the Sox this year IMO, and he needs to rest up. He also plays better at home so I'm thinking Tito made the right move. Dice-K must not become Walksuzaka because the Rays WILL capitalize where the Angels couldn't.

Gentlemen, this is going to be another hard ALCS. Then again, no ALCS is easy for Boston.

[kjc]

Infield on their heels
good God! not another walk
Somnambulant night

[Son of Hamulack]

I saw John Henry and his girlfriend at the Topsfield Fair... they toured the beekeeping building and cruised the midway. This was Sunday at noon. For a guy who has $millions in revenue on the line at 8:30, the dude looked relaxed.

[nopinkhat4me]

I can only hope that Chris Crocker reads this article and makes a "Leave Manny Alone" video.

http://www.philly.com/philly/sports/phillies/20081008_McCarver_outspoken_about_L_A__s_dread_man.html

[jrc]

kjc, my bro
Truly, you are a crazed loon
Let's say Sox in 6

[Kaz]

We're planning on completing the sweep with Wakefield in Fenway??

Alright, trust in Tito. Let's get it on.

[maggietozier]

h.b. you read dlisted and you love the Bosox. I've recently become engaged but if you're willing to give me a go I'm willing;) He's a Yankees fan anyway.

[h.b]

maggie,

Too funny. Yeah, I love the bitchy celeb gossip blogs. Nobody dishes insults better than those bloggers.

Since reading that bit on Dlisted yesterday, I've been trying to work "Listerine my no-no hole" into as many conversations as possible.

Now what's with this engagement to a Yankees fan?

[ParkerStPete]

Maggie, this can't end well. Your cousin, another Sox fan, will insult your fiance, who won't respond because he loves you. Your fiance's friend, however, will get pissed off, challenge your cousin to a fight, and get killed. And then a true shitstorm will erupt. Just a prediction. It's happened before.

[Bob]

Maggie, if you absolutely must marry a Skankee fan, at least torture him and get hitched where my wedding and reception is taking place: in Fenway.

He'll be scarred for life.

Heh-heh-heh.

[IkeG]

Once married to Yankee fan, now divorced from Yankee fan. Nuff said.

[kjc]

Hey Denver Sox Fan
If Dice-K were my pitcher
It would be E6

[bosoxed]

in angel stadium friday night- not to bad as far as insults and cussing. maybe i've matured... place cleared out when jd hit it out. angel fans still talking crap(why?) at work. let it go, its over. would love to get the dodgers next- the granddaddy of socal!