Bettah numbahs, hottah chicks. Advantage Red Sox.

Doug:
I tell you what. If that "V juice" from True Blood were real, I'd be rocking the hemo every weekend.

 

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Mike:
Let's hope Matsuzaka has something good flowing through his veins tonight. Taking game 1 would be sweet.

 

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Doug:
You know when you run the numbahs, it's like how and the frig can the Red Sox even lose this thing? They dominant the Rays in pretty much every cat.

 

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Mike:
And yet …

 

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Doug:
Yeah, and yet …

 

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Mike:
So have you heard about the supposed "Rayhawk bikini wax" craze sweeping the Tampa Bay area?

 

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Doug:
Man, the word "craze" has certainly been dumbed down when 1 "spatique" giving a couple landing strips to women who have no business evah being seen naked counts as a "craze"

 

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Mike:
Seriously. You do a news story on a bikini wax and you don't show or talk to even one young, hot chick in the story? I knew Tampa Bay was lame, but christ, that's the friggin' lame-o-nade.

 

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Doug:
Yeah, I'm now going to go spend 15 minutes on the sexysoxgirls site to purge the image of that bitch's middle-aged Lane Bryant waxed vajajay from my mind.

 

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Mike:
Help me, Christiami, help me get her outta my head.

 

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Comments

[Harwich Rich]

UNLEASH THE SWOLLEN GOURD :)

[Bob]

I lived Clearwater for all of 11 months, but this strip is a perfect distillation of the mind-set down in Tampa Bay.

Wew used to go to this great Pho joint for Vietnamese soup, and then have a "massage" next door.

In some ways, Tampa Bay is like the Spahn Ranch: serial killers mixed with sex and basil and a guy named Shorty who can get you crack of all kinds.

[louclinton]

Go Sawxk

I'm thinking that there's more MO than hawk in those mowhawkzzz, but what do I know.

Now, I have a humble suggestion. And I'm not providing a gooch or reverse gooch or whatever you guys talk about, but consider this: I am bringing this up now, because Manny's Return in Dodgah blue seems inevitable and this idea came to me in a moment of utter clarity as I was whizzing in the bathroom at 3:30 this morning.

When Manny comes to Fenway, do not boo, do not cheer. Clam Up. That's right what more powerful message could be sent than it Fenway Pahk got absolutely silent every time Manny steps to the plate or does something good or bad. Utter silence. You could hear a rat fart (if there were rats in Fenway, which I am assured by Larry there are none.) Think of it. Total utter silence out of 35k people. We need to build this and get the word out. When the movement for this builds, I think Bob should be our spokesmodel, since I am not real. And Bob, even though hammered and shit-drunk, is both loquacious and compelling.

Stick with me on this people.

Spread The Word

ManClam08.

lc (shhhhhhhh)

[h.b]

Beautiful, lc.

[Bob]

I just like the term ManClam.

Isn't that what Jamie Lee Curtis is?

Anyway, I agree with the Surly But Lovable one.

The sound of nothing

Manny checks his rear view mirror

Giant Glass just waves.

[Bob]

H.B., how fast can you get a "ManClam" or "Shut Up When Manny's Up" shirt out?

[louclinton]

That's the spirit, boys

(shhhhhh)

[Bob]

How about a shirt visual that has a closed clam shell with dreadlocks sticking out of it?

Once again, reminds me of that night with Jamie Lee...

[anonymous coward]

While I agree in principal with LC that the silent treatment would probably be the most ego damaging to Manny, I just don't see it happening. I've heard this proposed for many ex-sox returns but it never happens. Alcohol + baseball + playoffs != silence.

Boo, cheer, silence...doesn't matter as long as we beat the piss out of their new team.

But let's get by the (Devil)Rays first.
Go Sox!

[Steve in MD]

Nice to see Manny (standing at home plate celebrating a homer that didn't quite get out, costing his team a base and probably a run) and D-Low (falling apart after an error behind him in the field) returning to form. Hopefully, the Rays will do the same...

[Rob in CT]

"Lane Bryant waxed vajajay" has to be one of the most descriptive, if unsettling, turns of phrase evah.

[Best Mr. Magoo voice:] "Ah Brachen, you've done it again!"

[ParkerStPete]

How can we top the RayHawk? How about the NoHawk. Sawksgirls go bare down there in a bid to emulate the pate... of Youk.

[Colin]

You know guys...the Phillies still could beat the Dodgers in the ALCS. We might not even be graced with a Manny reunion.

[h.b]

I'm guessing most of those sexysoxgirls have already gone kojack.

It's the all the rage now. When exactly did it become the norm? I've read some suggest it coincided with easy access to porn via the web and everyone adopting the porn "look."

Either way I'm not complaining. Of course, I'm old school enough that I don't mind a little "rumble in the jungle" either.

[Harwich Rich]

Push..push..push in the bush.(How's that for old school)

[cb]

They can't fill a stadium, but they can get a few chicks to get a bikini wax. That's crappy bandwagoning.

[Bob]

Speaking of eating out, just got an email from Masa saying that they're offering free tapas during the 7th inning stretch of every Sox playoff (and hopefully) WS game.

I guess that means you have about a minute to order before "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" ends.

[ParkerStPete]

Fish tapas, Bob?

[paddy24]

Timlin has been added to the roster? I thought the objective here is to WIN. Bowden would have been a better bet.

[h.b]

The Papi Pound?

Interesting idea.

[Jeff in NC]

Ha! Fenway would sound like an Underarmor commercial! Pretty good idea though.

going to have to think on some name ideas - somehow Papi Pound sounds a little cute, and a little easy to ridicule as in "there they go, pounding their papi's again"

[Jeff in NC]

Smackdown? (what? WWE can't actually own that name can they)

Bitchslap has so many possibilities.. but maybe a little rude for the kiddies.

[h.b]

I felt the same way re "pound." Has to be a better name.

[Jeff in NC]

Papi Pwned gives me a chuckle, but I think is lost in the verbal. And between the TBS Joker in the LCS and Joe Fuck and Quim McCarver in the WS, it'll get ruined.

the Big Papi Slap (see Big Papi def #5 at urbandictionary.com - best not to have drink in your mouth when reading as it gets all over the monitor)

[IkeG]

Papi clap? Nah ... "Sorry, Rays, Ortiz f$%&ed you up and now you got the Papi clap"

[Bob]

Be funny if we could turn Papi on just like The Clapper.

[h.b]

You know since most (all?) of these step out of the batters box routines players do are methodical in re the intent to focus the batter's mind, I wonder if a simultaneous collective clap would be distracting?

Or are these guys so zoned in that they wouldn't notice either way?

[Bob]

I think it would only be distracting if the lights actually went on and off.

[Kaz]

These Rayhawks are just bush league antics.

(I can't take credit for that, someone on universalhub.com came up with it first)

[Bob]

Well, it's that time of Friday again.

Cold beer calls my name
"Bob," it says, "drink of my blood"
Sacriligious? Yes.

Anyway, have a great weekend, all. Hopefully we'll have something fun to yak about on Monday.

[Colin]

Sweet Jesus.

Whaddaya think guys? Brass balls? Hubris? Overeager commercialism?

http://mlb.imageg.net/graphics/product_images/pMLB2-5309283dt.jpg

How do I imbed a link again?

[soxdownunder]

Colin, as per Kaz, July 2007:

opening tag and closing tag

Example:
http://www.bostonredsox.com "> Boston Red Sox Homepage

[soxdownunder]

Well, that didn't work. Speak to Dr Kaz. Go Sawx.

[Colin]

To: Tampa Bay Rays
From: Boston Red Sox
Re: ALCS

Welcome to October, Tampa Bay. Oh by the way, we're a different animal this month. Enjoy the show.

[Kaz]

A linking tutorial

Hope that helps.

Daisuke completely mastered this game. Welcome to October, Rays. Eat a bag of dicks, TBS. Go Sox!

[yazbread]

A great win but I hate it when Daisuke plays with fire.