Got 'em right where we want 'em

Doug:
Hey, haven't you heard – The Sox can't win at the Trop.

 

---

Al:
Boom. Boom. Boom, er, Boom. Boom. … And, oh, yeah, BOOM.

 

---

Mike:
I love this: "The Rays' ace, Scott Kazmir, had seemingly collapsed under the pressure, beginning the game with nine straight balls …"

 

---

Al:
Welcome to the pennant race, bitch.

 

---

Doug:
Yeah, how's that fucking dead ahm working out for ya, Scotty?

 

---

Al:
Gee, I wondah when Pythagoras is going to catch up to the Rays? Ah, how about right fucking now?

 

---

Mike:
Oh, and meanwhile, the often erratic and one not so fah labeled automatic, Daisuke Matsuzaka is now 17-2 and has the most regulah season wins of any Japanese pitchah evah.

 

---

Al:
And Beckett goes for numbah 13 tonight.

 

---

Doug:
Time to piss on this little Tampa Bay charade.

 

---

Mike:
Let's remembah, though, that we've caught the Rays twice before this season only to lose ground again.

 

---

Doug:
Screw that. It's time to go all Boss Paul on their asses: "You run one time, you got yourself a set of chains. You run twice you got yourself two sets. You ain't gonna need no third set, 'cause you gonna get your mind right."

 

---

Comments

[yazbread]

What is best in life? To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their fans.

[Bob]

Great game last night. But I have to say, when one team utterly kills another, the next game is usually a loss.

You can look it up. Somewhere.

Anyway, here's a pic of a friend of mine at the first game of the Saturday double header. Can you guess which one he is?

http://www.printroom.com/ViewGalleryPhoto.asp?evgroupid=0&userid=fanfoto&gallery_id=1266808&image_id=66

Hint: He's the guy in the chicken outfit. Naturally.

He was ejected in the 7th for wearing the costume when he'd been asked to take it off earlier (he wasn't wearing any clothes underneath, so that wasn't really an option.)

[Harwich Rich]

Boss Paul or RuPaul?

[h.b]

Bob,

I knew I could count on you to do the reverse gooch.

That chicken suit is cool. I wish I had one.

[Natalie]

Damn I wish I'd have seen last night's game. Sounds like a humdingah. 'Bout time we laid some smack down at the Trop. What's the over-under for a bench clearing brawl tonight? Or will it be now that TB are contendahs that whole weird Sox-Rays rumble subplot comes to an end?

Meeting Jen from HI for drinks tonight here in London. We are starting our own Soxaholix enclave here. Will raise a glass to this lovable and surly crew.

PS- lc, what's the deal with Watney and the hat? I am ashamed to have no idea what you were talking about. But my knowledge of the Premiere League is growing by leaps and bounds!

[Bob]

Yeah, that beak is kinda frighteningly cool.

BTW, I should clarify that the reason he was originally asked to take the costume off wasn't because of any anti-chicken costume bias.

The bozo was annoying people by flapping his fake arm-wings and clucking constantly.

He's the Monday and Thursday night bartender at Pete's Pub/Durty Nelly's, if anyone wants to get the avian flu.

[Colin]

The cowbells and horns attempted to rattle the Red Sox. Terry Francona would have none of it and called bullshit on it. He then instructed Papi and Lowell to break Kazmir's spirit on the first inning. No more Mr. Nice Francona.

[vasoxfan]

Things never to do @ Fenway.
1) Scream "Red Sox Suck" constantly while dressed in a Yankees uni- though this year I would probably only get me spat on.
2) Yell "Popi Sucks" every time Ortiz comes to bat.
3) Where a chicken outfit with no clothes on underneath.

Thanks Bob for #3 I never would have known!!!

[RonF]

So someone else sat up last night and watched Cool Hand Luke on TBS or whatever it was on? I'd never seen it before. Pretty goofy. I'm not sure what the point was. At least now I know what the context of the quotes are.

Good to see Papi get one when it counts. Having Manny gone has probably thrown him off some mentally.

[Bob]

Goofy?? Goofy??? "Cool Hand Luke" is one of the greatest pics ever made.

My entire life philosophy is based on the hard boiled egg scene.

[yazbread]

Watch CHL 20 or 30 times and you will realize it is a great religious movie. Redemption, crucifixion, resurrection - it's all there. Sort of like the 2004 ACLS.

[louclinton]

@Nat

[Daubie]

i had boiled eggs for breakfast this morning. not 50 tho...

[ParkerStPete]

So, Bob, that philosophy would be "Eat hardboiled eggs until distended"? Or is there an all-encompassing,eggs-as-start-of-life-cycle metaphor that I've missed?

[Colin]

So who would win in another 50 hardboiled egg eating match...

CHL, or Ditka? My money is on Pedroia as a suprise entry into the contest.

[RationalSoxFan]

Rays need to step up more tonight - that was just embarassing! Not that many Rays fans were there to see it. Which is also embarrassing . Sox need to put them out of their own misery.

Meanwhile, how the heck did Dice-K go 5 innings, only allow 1 run, 3 hits, and 2 walks, and still get his pitch count over 100? He's baffling! Glad he got the 17th win though!

[Natalie]

Oh man, lc, when you said Cap I thought you meant something to do with pink hats, not that she's dating Tek. This is what I get for leaving town. I move across an ocean and Tek divorces AND decides he likes busty blondes. :) Poor timing all around... Guess I'll just have to forever pine unrequitedly over those thighs :(

[Bob]

The Cool Hand Luke hard boiled egg life philosophy can't be explained easily, Parker.

Can I interest you in a 6-hour seminar I;m hosting at the Church of Scientology this Saturday?

Yes, eggs will be served. And you will eat them until you reach theta clear.

[cgpunker]

I feel good today, but I'm with Bob. I don't like the Sox chances after a big blowout like that.

I have a theory that one can only score so many runs in a period of time. When you score them all in one game, you're kinda busted for the next one.

[louclinton]

I smell blood.

Redass tonight, RedSox delight

Timmy anon, Rayzez will be gone.

lc

[Harwich Rich]

I wonder how boiled eggs would go with sriracha?

[Bob]

I've had scrambled and omelettes with Sriracha. It's delicioso.

BTW, just got my playoff game tix. Home game 1 of the ALDS.

But the mo-fos took me out of my great bleacher seats and stuck me in the wasteland that is Right Field Grandstand 5.

Oh well, I guess I could be on the outside looking in.

[vermonter]

Ditka always wins. He's Ditka.

[h.b]

I concur on Sriracha and eggs.

One of my fave uses of Sriracha:

Sliced avocado and roasted turkey sandwich with Sriracha.

Sublime.

[Sator Arepo]

Double triple million bonus points for the Cool Hand Luke reference, sir.

Well done.

Regards,
SA

[dara]

Sweep the leg, Joshy.

[Steve2]

Bob,
The guy with the backward sox cap looks psychotic. I'm just saying.

[Bob]

I don't know that guy, just the chicken.

[soxdownunder]

Note to characters (not real):

The hen is the wisest of all creatures. It only cackles after the egg is laid.
- Abe Lincoln (on Fighting Joe Hooker prediction of a massacre of the rebs at Chancellorsville).

[Nice chicken suit, Bob's mate.]

[Bob]

BTW, H.B., I make avocado, cheese, and sriracha quesadillas. Muy bueno.

[Natalie]

hb- gotta give you great credit for this site. I can't even describe my gratitude for what everyone did back in Jan after the fire, but today I got to meet Jen in HI here in London and we promise to be the greatest of friends. So not only did Soxaholix bring me tremendous joy for many years, it also saved my bacon in early 2008 and then gave me a friend upon my arrival in London. This site is priceless...as I know all the regulars know...

That sappiness aside, I am so missing watching the game tonight. The downside of 5 hrs ahead...

[Designated Sitter]

Re: Premier League. Don't forget Natalie - Portsmouth (not only are they my home town team, they wear red, er, socks).

[soxdownunder]

Natalie, a great game which we lost so you're luck to have missed it. As to Portsmouth - known as Pompey - fair enough. But I'd stick with Liverpool - also red stockings!

sdu

[Genghis Ortiz]

Does anyone else have this nagging angst about the lack of Manny?

Just wondering.