Calming Effect

Bill:
Fannie and Freddie collapsed, Lehman Brothahs collapsed, Goldman Sachs, AIG …

Everybody is friggin collapsing except the god forsaken formah Devil Rays.

 

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Mike:
Well, that's the thing – Instead of waiting for a Tamba Bay collapse, we should be looking for a Red Sox vanquishment.

 

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Bill:
Well, that's the othah thing – The Red Sox don't give a rat's ass about winnnig the Division. Only we fans do.

 

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Mike:
And is that such a bad thing? Don't forget the 2004 Red Sox didn't win the division and that kinda sorta worked out.

 

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Mike:
And, of course, just last year the Patriots did, you know, pretty good in the regulah season only to get taken to the woodshed by the wildcard Giants.

 

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Bill:
I know. I know. That all makes perfect sense.

 

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Bill:
But being cool and rational just doesn't sit right with me. My default state is more one of hotheaded and wildly irrational.

 

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Mike:
Yeah, but you know what happens when one of us goes irrational?

 

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Bill:
I dunno, does an angel lose its wings or something.

 

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Mike:
No, but each time Sox fans veer into the irrational, Shaughnessy gets bonah.

 

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Comments

[h.b.]

Had to rush this one out this morning because I have to attend a big company-wide pep rally or whatever they're calling it.

Consequently there are probably typos etc, but I won't be able to fix them until much later today.

Meanwhile, pity me as I sit and listen to company execs drone on and on...

[louclinton]

Thanks for thinking of us, hb. Last night was a good game. If the RS don't win a game, at least we got a decent game. Timmy will be twirling tonight and odds are that Dionar Navarro can't burn us two nights in a row.

Meanwhile, looks like the air is being sucked out of the Team Palin balloon, and it can't happen soon enough.

Glad you an Jen got on last night Nat

lc

[David Pinto]

Don't forget the Obama collapse. He's the Brewers of the presidential race.

[Bob]

H.B, whatever you do at that corporate pep rally, DON'T fall for the old "trust game," where you fall backwards into somebody's hands.

Unless people actually like you.

Me, I don't have that advantage.

Timmy is usually quite excellent at The Trop, so tonight should be interesteting.

BTW, you no longer have to look up the "loss after a wipeout" scenario.

[vasoxfan]

I don't think it bodes well that we are 18-21 in one run games.Or 8-23 when scoring less than 3 runs. So the stats were against us last night and it doesn't look good for the playoffs. However in series finales we are 30-19 so maybe that's good for tonight. Since the reverse gooch didn't work yesterday maybe just straight out cheering will work:)

[h.b.]

Standing around waiting for them to open the hall. Being shy and introverted, of course, I mingle with no one and instead type into my iPhone to people I've never actually met.

Meanwhile, lc, I confess to a milf crush on Sarah barracuda.

[Dirty Water]

bonah
bonah
bonah

Take that, Shank. Holy crap that was funny!

[Colin]

//Meanwhile, lc, I confess to a milf crush on Sarah barracuda.//

h.b., I too have a MILF crush on Palin so don't feel ashamed. However, that doesn't separate the fact that she's a born-again firebrand who quite frankly scares me almost as much as Darth Cheney. If there is a God her rise to fame will fizzle real soon.

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

Tina Fey = hot.

Sarah Palin = ARGH! My eyes!

I am completely irrational.

[h.b.]

funny, I've never found Christians especially frightening.

And don't tell anyone but I'm actually friends with a few.

Oh shit the rally is starting with video montage set to Bon jovi. Kill me now.

[Colin]

//Oh shit the rally is starting with video montage set to Bon jovi. Kill me now.//

*Locks and loads MA Gaahd issue M4*
You sure about that?

[vasoxfan]

OMG I hope its not "Living on a Prayer".

[Bob]

//Oh shit the rally is starting with video montage set to Bon jovi. Kill me now. //

I wonder how many thousands of times those exact words have been uttered at corporate "rallys."

If they really wanted to rally the troops, they'd give you the day off.

[h.b.]

hey the CEO just said economy is in tricky cycle. Who the fuck knew? Good thing I came today.

[louclinton]

There is nothing remotely attractive about a self-absorbing lying, self-aggrandizing person who has no self awareness.

See, I am not attractive.

[yazbread]

Well here's the problem with a McCain-Palin win. McCain dies in office (dad dead at 70 or so, 6 years in POW camp does not bode well for longevity) and Sarah/Tina assumes the mantle. The choice then becomes to let the man behind the curtain run the show or resort to some sort of Executive Action.

[h.b.]

I know, lc. That's why I haven't fallen under Obama's spell. :)

[RationalSoxFan]

I just wanted to add a plug for being "rational".

But, on the other hand, I do want to take the division rather than the wild card. That way we get home field advantage against the White Sox rather than the Angels without home field. Sounds like a better deal to me.

[h.b.]

our near term strategy: improve the product.

Omfg profound!

[Rock]

I could have gone my entire life without thinking about the CHB with a raging hard-on.

[Bob]

Porno scene scenario time:

CHB arrives at hot (but completely ravaged and burnt-out) chick's house to deliver the newspaper.

(CHB): Hi, Ms. Tate, I've come to collect for the paper.

(MS. TATE): Oooo, CHB, my how you've grown.

(CHB): Yeah, I got nads now and everything!

(CUE PORN MUSIC)

(MS. TATE): Oh, do you? let's see...

(VISUAL): CHB runs from house in fear of Ms. Tate ever viewing his quarter- inch penis, dropping his paper bag behind him.

(MS. TATE): Wonder what's in here...

(VISUAL): Ms. Tate opens paper bag to reveal Rabbit vibrator and a butt plug.

(MS. TATE): Oh, CHB, you scamp!

(VISUAL): Ms. Tate has anal with her dog.

THE END.

[Colin]

Bob: You have not only killed what innocence I had left, but I'm assured you just did the same to everyone else that reads the Soxaholix. You're a terrible human being and may God have mercy on your soul.

[h.b.]

worse, bob typed that while wearing a chicken suit and squirting sriracha straight from the bottle

[Bob]

And it was a dead-on money shot, H.B.

[astrosox]

love the commentary as much as the strip. i've got a visual of hb suffering at le pep rally where suddenly the chb porn scenario is displayed on a large projection screen...

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

Is Ms. Tate being played by Sarah Palin as played by Tina Fey?

[NolaSox]

Am picturing Bob's scenario with CHB as a South Park character

[Harwich Rich]

Chocolate salty balls ;D

[h.b.]

One of my coworkers has fallen completely asleep. I'm so jealous.

It's fun and games time now. They've randomly called 3 people on stage to play "company trivia".

Where is batshit tavarez when you need him?

[NolaSox]

with Butters in his dog disguise from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Times_with_Weapons "> Good Times with Weapons

[RonF]

I left a message on Palin's web site that she should go on SNL and do Tina Fey in a parody of a scene from "30 Rock". WTF not, eh?

louclinton, as a Chicago-area resident for these last 38 years, I can tell you that due to the rather odd properties of Illinois politics, this will be the first election that Sen. Obama has been in that he's actually facing an opponent with a chance to win. Except for his very first one. Which he lost.

Me, I think the guy's an empty suit who had a chance to make "change" in a legislative body that is in desperate need of it. The only choice he made there was to embrace the Machine and help it fight off reform. So I think his "Change" mantra is BS. I'm not going to fill this blog up with details of Illinois politics; suffice it to say that he hasn't lifted a finger to make a real difference around here.

[louclinton]

Did I take up for Obama?

No. Just saying that another 4 years of selfishness and criminality from one party is quite enough, thank you.

I'm supporting selfishness and criminality from another party.

In summary, I have rather low standards.

lc

[Scott]

And MCain is so much better? Please spare me. I would vote for Hanky before casting another vote for the party that brought us the worst foreign policy disaster. And if you don't believe that go back and read some history books that you may have skipped in HS because you were too busy smoking pot and getting drunk. How can the country get anymore fucked up by 4-years with Obama. People acting like the world will come to and end are absurd. What about giving the other party a chance again?

Oh yeah if the RS can't start hitting these Rays pitchers then there will be no joy in mudville this season.

[Kaz]

If I could have just one wish, it would be for all of the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

If I could have two wishes, the first would be the thing about the children and the second would be Amalie Benjamin pretending to be Sarah Palin pretending to be Tina Fey.

*shiver*...that would be SO hot.

[Larry Here]

This is great today. I love being at the brain-death shindig with hb. More updates from the floor please! And I'm pretty much with lc on the man from Ill. Go Sox!

[Kaz]

You guys would not believe what I'm having to go through today at work.

We're having some sort of "rally" to invigorate us. The CEO is a moron, they're playing some trivia game with random people from the crowd...and there's some dork next to me liveblogging the whole thing on his iPhone!

Man, what a tool.

;)

I kid because I love, h.b.

[yazbread]

NPR had coverage of McCain + Tina in Ohio yestereday telling the voters that they were their saviors. If those nimrods in Ohio vote Republican this year, they have no one to to blame for their continuing misery.

[ParkerStPete]

Being CEO sucks. My options are underwater, the jet was late landing at Hanscom this morning, my employees are a bunch of idiots. Thank God some of them were working on their Blackberrys while I gave my presentation. And who the hell wrote this shit? "Improve the product"! I can't believe I said that. Worst of all, they're a bunch of Red Sox fans. Can't wait to get back to New York.

[birthofasoxfan97]

//And it was a dead-on money shot, H.B.//

It's over. You win the division, Bob.

Holy crap that was funny.

[COD]

Not a joke...

Some multi-millionaire female CEO that raised over $100K for Hillary while splitting time between residences in London and NY that she commutes between in her private jet just announced that she is endorsing McCain because Obama is an elitist.

Real life is more and more starting to resemble The Onion.

[Bob]

A video that perfectly explains the process I used to go through while writing "screenplays" in college (some of you know what I'm talking about):

http://www.mefeedia.com/entry/porn-writers-meeting/11110092/

[Bob]

BTW, the audio on that is NSFW, but the visuals are perfectly harmless.

[h.b]

Ah, what a great day for comments. The CEO pov stuff totally cracked me up.

And this is killah:

"Amalie Benjamin pretending to be Sarah Palin pretending to be Tina Fey.

*shiver*...that would be SO hot."

Awesome.

[h.b]

And is this the first time where politics came up but did not totally sidetrack the comments?

[PAPesky]

HB...In your big meeting -- if a boss starts talking "baseball" and "teamwork" and circles behind you with a baseball bat...Please take a quick lav. break. I see this inna movie once!

[Bob]

I don't like Amelie's new hair style though.

She was hotter when she looked like a librarian. You know, the kind in movies who are all nerdy and stuffy, but as soon as they take off their glasses and shake their hair, they turn into total hotties who'll do any guy who moves?

Uh, I gotta go to the bathroom to, uh, read on the toilet.

[louclinton]

This just in...

GLENN GEFFNER RETURNS!!!!

That got your attention, didn't it?

The tentative schedule for the Boston Red Sox was released today, and it seems as if the Little Feller will be back at Fenway for a mid-week series in June with the Florida Marlins. And Glennski will be in tow, unless the Marlins wake up and shitcan him in the off-season.

Of other interest in the schedule is the the Red Sox make only two West Coast swings in '09, one in April and one in May.

The season opens at home against the Rays on April 6.

sincerely, nostralc