A pennant race brings out the best in all of us

Marty:
OK, Callaghan, here's one for you …

A Yankees Asst. GM, a Yankees superstar slugger, and a Yankees equipment manager are flying at 30,000 toward Cooperstown …

 

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Bill:
Is this going to involve math?

 

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Marty:
So here they are, 3 different sorts of Yankees, superstar to lowly equipment man, flying along when suddenly there is engine trouble …

 

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Bill:
[Gasps mockingly]

 

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Marty:
One of the wings catches fire, and the plane starts to go down.

 

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Bill:
OH NOZE!!

 

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Marty:
Luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. Evacuation is textbook and orderly. Why? Because that is the Yankees' way, of course. It's funny because it's true.

 

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Bill:
Ah, Mahts, I hate to break it to you but that's neithah true nor funny.

 

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Marty:
You know what's not funny Callaghan? Sidney Ponson that's what.

 

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Marty:
Remember not so long ago when you Suxaholix were all "The Yankees are so desperate that they signed washed up loser Sidney Ponson … Hardee har har har!"

 

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Bill:
Actually, Mahts, it was more of a "Haahdee hah hah hah" sort of thing.

 

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Marty:
Yeah, well, Ponson continues to be convincing on the mound and is now 6-1 on the season and the Yankees are now just a game behind the Twins for second place in the Wild Card chase, and stand a decent chance of sweeping their way into Boston this weekend. Who's laughing now, dickhead?

 

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Bill:
Hey, Mahty, do you have a little red white and blue top hat resting on a baseball bat tatooed on your pubis? I hear they're all the rage this year.

 

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Marty:
That's it Bill. Fiddle away like  Nero up and down Newbury St while all around your 2 World Series "empire" burns and crumbles into dust. Assuming there's anything left, I'll see you in October with a bunch of brooms to sweep that sorry Boston mess up.

 

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Bill:
Did you say Octobah? OK. I'll put in a call to both Jordan Mahsh and Filene's to make sure they have plenty of white gloves and black, patent leathah purses on hand … It's the least I can do for a pal like you.

 

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Author's Notes
Marty's so-called joke is a derivation from one presented in John Hodgman's book The Areas of My Expertisein the section "Jokes that have never produced laughter."

Comments

[louclinton]

Sounds like a couple of cougahs reliving their high school days, holding on for dear life hoping for a pink sock or two. Problem is, RS have the yung bux and MFY have Filenes bahgan basement.

Ok, so in Ponson, Cashie found a Vera Wang Wedding Dress in the heap of rags, but for the most paht its a bunch of Hufu

I be at the pahk on Satiidy, hoping for the best. Probably Timmy will get whacked, but the beer's expensive and warm and that fat guy across from me will be that much closer to death, so all in all it will be fun.

lc

[da kine]

Slappy McBluelips and his purse nevah gets old.

[Steve in MD]

mfy fans celebrating the fact that they are third in the wild card - oh how the mighty have fallen

[Harwich Rich]

...but what if the fat guy's name is Ditka?

[Harwich Rich]

or TeeHee?

[louclinton]

Dear Ted's Head;

Go shit in your hat.

Respectfully,

lc

hr: I never get the ditka references, so don't know what to say.

[Bob]

LC, if you want me to buy you a beer and a Jameson Saturday, meet downstairs (Down Under) at Copperfield's around 2:00.

If you don't want me to buy you a beer and a Jameson, meet Ted's Head at Slappy McBlueLips vaginal lounge.

[h.b]

Seeing how Ted's Head (aka BigBri) already told us he was right and we are wrong, and we conceded such, I don't see any point in his needing to sully himself by commenting further.

So he's been blocked and deleted.

[louclinton]

fuck me, you got me TH. some clever repartee there. I am outgunned by a graduate from Seaview Hospital in Staten Island.

Stay Classy, Italian Americans

[Natalie]

Aw, hb, but its so much fun to feed the trolls. JK.

(My brother, when on family road trips when we were young, always asked to be the one to "pay the trolls." I don't think he was far wrong).

Great game from Lester. Always fun to have ourselves a pennant race. And this time it's a three-way one. Awesome.

[Billy Mahty]

I always love the Marty strips, but I've got to say that a Yanks fan would never say this: "The Yankees are now just a game behind the Twins for second place in the wild card chase."

Looking forward to this weekend.

[h.b]

//a Yanks fan would never say this: "The Yankees are now just a game behind the Twins for second place in the wild card chase."//

Ah, then how do you explain that it is taken word for word from (and linked to in the strip I might add) a Yankees blog written by a Yankees fan?

[Wally East]

hb, you could link to that pick every day for a week and it'd still be funny.

[Scott]

Hey lc,

Gypsy's are not people so what's the big deal?

[Jason O.]

You kids shouldn't play so rough. Somebody's gonna start crying.

-Mr. Blonde

[Jason O.]

As scary as this is to thirty somethings like me, there may be readers of this too young to get that ref:

http://www.dailyraider.com/vg/pc/reservoirdogs/01.jpg

[joefreak]

You heard it here first: Natalie is up for a three-way!!

[Kaz]

If anyone here doesn't get a Reservoir Dogs reference, then they need to concentrate harder on their little league game and stop worrying about what the MLB is doing.

That Hodgman book: aptly titled. Egads, that wasn't a joke it was an epitaph.

[Natalie]

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, Michael Madsen. Now there is a serious yum- even when playing a psychotic sadist.

Joefreak- (in full southern drawl)- Now sir, you are givin' me the vapahs, I do declayah... (fans self with hand, blushes).

[Jason O.]

Sometimes I have been tempted to ask Brachen if he's a big Lee Marvin fan.

[Jason O.]

What the fuck happened to Hollywood?

http://www.observer.com/files/imagecache/article-teaser/files/article_DVD.jpg

[louclinton]

Bad Ass

[yazbread]

Lee Marvin departed this world far too early.

[Jason O.]

From out of the East a stranger came, a law book in his hand,
A man: The kind of a man the West would need to tame a troubled land,
'cause the point of a gun was the only law that Liberty understood,
When it came to shootin' straight and fast---he was mighty good.

Many a man would face his gun, and many a man would fall...The man who shot Liberty Valance, he shot Liberty Valance
He was the bravest of them all.

[yazbread]

Have to go with Point Blank over TMWSLV.

[Jason O.]

Well that's your choice...pilgrim.

[Rob in CT]

Lee Marvin!

The Dirty Dozen, Cat Ballou (guilty pleasure, but I always liked that movie), The Big Red One, Bad Day at Black Rock, Gorky Park. Man, Lee was in some really good movies. I always liked him.

On a diferent note, isn't it funny how Mahty always brings out the comments from the faithful?

[h.b]

Bad Day at Black Rock is one of my fave all time movies.

[Steve in MD]

What, no Paint Your Wagon fans? ;-)

The Great Scout and Cathouse Thursday and The Dirty Dozen are my faves.

Regarding Mahty, he is our surrogate whipping boy, it being somewhat illegal to actually detonate a dirty bomb in the toilet, after all...

[da kine]

I missed it. What did Momma's Basement say in his comment?

[Bob]

It's illegal to detonate a dirty bomb in the toilet?

I should be in prison a thousand times over.

(Now back to my chicken vindaloo...)

[Kaz]

(Now back to my chicken vindaloo...)

Fire in the hole!

[Jason O.]

A better Western theme? Pick one:

1) TMWSLV
2) Gunfight at the OK Corral

Or Ditka?

[yazbread]

Shane?

[jen in HI]

hey Nat,

I leave for the east coast on Aug 6th and head to London Sept 13. Currently going crazy trying to pack up my life here and close up shop at work. I still don't know where I'm going to live...how about you? feel free to e-mail me at the above address.

[Natalie]

Jen, we'll be in town for good around the same time, exciting! Not sure yet about the flat (hopefully Marylebone or Mayfair), but the prospective rents are making my eyes bleed. I will send you an email shortly!

[pawsoxpop]

I had Sidney Ponson on my (NL) fantasy team two years ago. He is a streaky pitcher, and he will hit a bad streak -- when he does, watch out. I wouldn't want to rely on him in October. As the writer for my fantasy site always put it in the little blurb accompanying his stats -- "Try any other option you can first. But if you must, then go ahead and take a flyer on the ticking time bomb from Aruba."

[Kaz]

Ponson's WHIP since joining the Yankees is 1.72. He's letting on nearly 2 baserunners per inning! That's going to eventually catch up to a pitcher. It's the 157th WHIP of 205 pitchers (23rd percentile) who have thrown anything over the past 30 days (about the same amount of time he's been on the NYY instead of TEX). That's abysmal and suggests that he's been absolutely lucky in his 4 games as a Yankee so far. This is also backed up by his VORP (only better than Rasner in the rotation) and Win contribution stats.

The guy is a bum, a very lucky bum.

[Designated Sitter]

Nat/Jen Mrs Sitter and I lived in Marylebone from 95-99 and can highly recommend it...