Down goes Papi
Al:
Don't nobody panic. We went a month without Manny last year and that turned out just fine.
Mike:
And if it's more than a month?
Al:
Still fine. There should be plenty of clubs out of contention between the All Star Break and the July 31st trading deadline who'll be willing to unload a sluggah for a prospect or two.
Doug:
Hey, there's a pretty good free agent out there right now. Perhaps you've heard of him? He's the all time home run leadah.
Mike:
Barry Bonds? Are you friggin' nuts?
Al:
Really, guy, I want no paht of that.
Doug:
Why? All Bonds will cost the club is cash. It's totally low risk, high reward.
Al:
Hmmm … he did have no protection with the Giants and yet he still had an OPS over 1.000.
Doug:
Exactly! Imagine him in our lineup? They wouldn't be pitching around him.
Mike:
Dudes, the man is undah Federal indictment fercrissakes. The fans would never accept him.
Doug:
Oh, right, I forgot how New Englandahs are unwilling to turn a blind eye toward cheating for the sake winning. [Cough] Bill Belichick. [Cough]
Mike:
Man, I hate when you do that. Turning into the watah coolah troll, trying to push our buttons with ridiculous statements.
Doug:
What? Moi?
You know my insomniac monkey-mind ponders the Dove, Symbol of Peace.
Mike:
Ah, right, how silly of me to forget how Peace loving you Rethuglicans are.
Doug:
Well, by "peace" I, of course, meant "piece of ass." Heh.
Mike:
Case in point. May as well staht calling you BigBri.
Al:
To be fair, the Dove is the symbol of sexual love as well as peace so …
Mike:
Al! Don't encourage him.
Doug:
I am the Roy King, bitches. Free Barry!
Oh no. BB makes a panel.
Unleash da houndz
lc
Posted by: louclinton | 2008.06.03 at 09:32 AM
I am without Al's sangfroid. I am totally 100% panicked about Papi. This strikes me as similar to Nomar's injury and he was never the same afterwards, lost all kinds of bat speed.
As to Barry, I'd take him, criminal clubhouse cancer and all. His OPS is still sick, and imagine what he could do in Fenway.
Posted by: Natalie | 2008.06.03 at 09:38 AM
The rest of the country would have a field day
Posted by: Harwich Rich | 2008.06.03 at 09:45 AM
No. Just no.
And when I read the phrase, "All time home run leadah" (Mr. The Roy King should learn to hyphenate his modifiers, by the way :) I thought, "Hank Aaron? Hmm. Interesting. He's only 74. The Sox have signed worse aging sluggers. I could see it."
Posted by: Ryan with a capital "R" | 2008.06.03 at 09:57 AM
The thing about David Ortiz for me, and this may be some holdover expression of the doom and gloom Sox fan mentality I had for years until our luck changed in 2004, is that as much as I've loved his presence I always felt we were on borrowed time with him.
I never imagined Ortiz having a long career with the Sox. It just didn't seem possible to me. Good things just tend not to last.
And with Manny and Ortiz on the same club, expecting both of them to remain healthy and productive year after year is just really tempting fate.
So if I were to learn Ortiz is out for the year and/or may never be the same again, it'll hurt, but it won't be a surprise. I've been prepping myself for it since sometime in 2004.
Posted by: h.b | 2008.06.03 at 10:05 AM
No.
Posted by: Josh | 2008.06.03 at 10:21 AM
Fuck barry. I like watching Papi crush home runs partly because I want the sox to win but also because I like him. Hes like manny playing for the game and for fun.
Barry Bonds is a piece of shit. I couldnt root for him. I would rather see AROD's whiny ass on the roster then Bonds.
Posted by: jfm | 2008.06.03 at 10:52 AM
I hate to say it, but I'm on board with bring on Bonds. In fact I'd be surprised if Theo hadn't already contacted Bond's agent as soon as Papi was taken to the hospital. My only concern about bring Bonds in is whether or not they can find a hat big enough for his steroid bloated head.
Posted by: InTheoWeTrust | 2008.06.03 at 10:53 AM
NO NO NO
Posted by: Betsy in Rhode Island | 2008.06.03 at 11:06 AM
An emphatic yes for Bonds. It is ridiculous that he is not playing right now. I am hoping that Ortiz is going to be fine but Bonds would be a terror in the AL.
Posted by: jar in chicago | 2008.06.03 at 11:24 AM
If we got Bonds, we wouldn't be able to call Giambi Juice-ambi.
That's to big of a trade-off for me.
BTW, funny how The Globe (part owners of the Sox) is saying Ortiz will be out for "up to a month," while The Herald is saying "season-ending surgery."
Well, not funny, but interesting.
Posted by: Bob | 2008.06.03 at 11:29 AM
If Barry has anything left in the tank they need to sign him for at least as long as Papi is out. With the emergence of the Ray and the tough competition from the rest of the AL the Sox can't rely on Coco's non-existent bat and Manny playing DH. The object of the game is to win. Not to be the nice guy. Not to take the high moral ground.
And BB didn't cheat. It was a simple rule violation. Every team in the league steals signs. Just not with a camera on the sideline. Fuck Eric Mangini.
Posted by: Scott | 2008.06.03 at 11:38 AM
ok, i agree we need to fill a void, but why bonds? if we're going to go after a pure slugger, why not sosa? he's an unsigned free agent as well...
Posted by: chris | 2008.06.03 at 11:45 AM
Hell no. Bonds is a deal breaker. This team has done really well to avoid the majority of the steroid nonsense. I refuse to have that lying hypo junkie in the hallowed halls of Fenway on my dime.
No to Sosa too. He not only juiced (unproven) but he corked his bat (proven) too. Seriously, dude, how much help does one need?
I think we will win fine without Papi for a while. We survived his past injuries and slumps just fine.
Posted by: Kaz | 2008.06.03 at 11:54 AM
I was expecting head in hands Bill (?) today. That's how I feel about Papi.
In re: Bonds - hell no. There would be asterisks at every park we visit.
Posted by: NolaSox | 2008.06.03 at 11:58 AM
kaz - i totally forgot about the corked bat. i officially retract my statement.
Posted by: chris | 2008.06.03 at 12:08 PM
I'm kind of approaching this as if jumping out of a plane - full faith in the people who trained me. Eyes closed, complete reliance on the higher ups: Theo.
If Theo thinks BB works, so be it. If he calls my mother down from York, so be it.
Blind faith in the people that brought me to the higher ground.
I could see five different players from the farm filling in though.
Posted by: sonomasox | 2008.06.03 at 12:19 PM
What do people think it would take to get Griffey Jr from the Reds? There has been talk about the Reds unloading him for the past couple of years. He's a big left handed bat with no moral issues. I still would rather just get Bonds who will only cost money rather than get rid of prospects.
Posted by: InTheoWeTrust | 2008.06.03 at 12:23 PM
Baggage or not, Barry Bonds is still one of the five best hitters in baseball, and Manny would provide more production than he ever had in SF. He'd also be able to play most of the season if he didn't have to play left. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Doug on this one.
Posted by: Isaac | 2008.06.03 at 12:31 PM
If Theo thinks BB works, so be it.
Theo would want Big Bri batting in the 3 hole? I didn't even know he was a lefty... :-)
Actually,I think I agree with Sonoma. In Theo we trust (except with SS decisions). I guess I'd hold my nose and cheer while Barry puts a couple dozen meatballs over the left field porch while awaiting Papi's return.
Tell me, does this wearing my wish for another successful season make my ass look fat?
Posted by: Rob in CT | 2008.06.03 at 01:03 PM
good eye, Bob, that Globe/Herald schism on Papi's downtime cost me some shuteye last night. Papi is the man. When it comes to winning the right way, He gives the Sox the moral high ground. Sign Bonds and all that is lost -- including my ability to root for such a team... I actually think this roster is deep enough to compete in the bedraggled AL East without Papi for a month or -gulp- beyond. Less power but more speed... and good pitching is key. I would rather we revisit the 6-man rotation than ever ponder signing Bonds.
Posted by: NYSoxfan | 2008.06.03 at 02:23 PM
No to Bonds for me. I (we) have been ranting against Bonds for too long to turen around and say, "oh, but if he plays for our team, then I guess that would be okay".
No way - let's stick to our principles here.
Also, the Sox are way too deep to make any panic moves. No need to shell out money - they brought up Carter, who can't field, but should be a good DH, and they should use Manny more in the DH spot and put Crisp in Center and Jacoby in Left - sweet outfield, and lots of speed on the bases.
Posted by: RationalSoxFan | 2008.06.03 at 03:07 PM
Thought about Bonds, but thought the ghost (or head) of Ted Williams might start haunting Fenway. No to Sosa, he can't hit anymore, Texas cut him. Wonder what Juan Gonzalez is doing these days (does this sound like one of the scenes from "Major League"?) Would consider Piazza. Might have to wait for the A's to see if Frank Thomas would like to try his hand at the Monster. Anyone one else? Troy Hillenbrand (sp?) Who else is home sitting by the phone?
Posted by: Follower of Tito | 2008.06.03 at 03:15 PM
No Bonds. Not ever.
Posted by: HunterStars | 2008.06.03 at 04:12 PM
3 words: JIM ED RICE.
He still looks like he could hit the crap out of the ball or at least the guy throwing. Plus a comeback would give him more time to enter the HoF.
Posted by: sonomasox | 2008.06.03 at 05:04 PM
I would take Bonds any time. Still the best hitter in baseball. Third best player of all-time behind Babe Ruth and Ted Williams. Every MLB roster is littered with cheaters. It's obvious that the biggest cheaters were the little guys, like Craig Biggio and Lenny Dykstra. At the zenith of the steroid era, probably 75% of the players were cheating. Julio Lugo will not hit a single home run this year. His arms are like toothpicks. Why? Guys that weighed 195 now weigh 180. It's incredibly noticeable. Manny doesn't look big at all. The only guys where you say, "wow, that's a big guy" are guys like Ryan Howard and Frank Thomas - the way it used to be with Harmon Killebrew and Willie McCovey. There's not a single player out there that you can say with any certainty never cheated. I don't like Bonds personally, I just like batters that don't make outs. He's the smartest hitter of the last 40 years. Bonds abuses rookies by predicting which pitch is coming next. Why hasn't any other batter learned from Bonds that choking up on the bat is smart?
Posted by: paddy24 | 2008.06.03 at 05:09 PM
Bring in Bonds
Posted by: Victor Conte | 2008.06.03 at 06:38 PM
NO to Bonds for all the reasons RationalSoxFan listed.
BTW Paddy24, I always hated him but Bonds would have been an all-timer just based on the stats he was putting up in the 90's, but he cheated for power #s...Something Babe, Ted, Lou, Hank, etc. never did...and now he is just another bitter asshole.
Posted by: vancouversoxfan | 2008.06.03 at 07:03 PM
Oh, how soon we forget. In '03 we'd all given our first born to get past the Skanks with Bonds. How should that differ now? The moral high ground? WTF? Are we nothing more than Cubs fans with two recent rings? I think not. When the final out was put to bed in Colorado last year the first thought of mine was, "Is this how the Skanks fans feel? Winning more often than not? I LIKE IT!"
Bring him in. Remember this: Indicted is NOT convicted. Until then...
Posted by: El Jefe | 2008.06.03 at 08:32 PM