Ranking Spanking

Mike:
Holy shit, was Matzusaka a ninja last night or what?

 

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Doug:
Memo to the American League: Our stahtahs are back, gird your friggin' loins.

 

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Mike:
Last four stahtahs: 30 innings pitched, 3 earned runs, 0.90 ERA. Quod erat demonstratum, bitches .

 

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Doug:
No we just need the offense to gel, and it's all warm touchin' warm.

 

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Mike:
Did you see the SI MLB Ballpark Rankings?

 

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Doug:
Yeah, yeah, and as expected the jealous ne'erdowells in the hintahlands West of the Berkshires have relegated Fenway, our Fenway, our lyric little bandbox of a ballpark to the bottom 3rd at numbah 21.

 

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Mike:
Numbah 1 in "Tradition" but numbah 30 in "Affordability."

Ah, hello, frigtahds — Tradition doesn't come cheap.

 

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Mike:
You know I'm willing to live with the 27th position in "hospitality" …

 

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Doug:
Seriously, Fenway will nevah be mistaken for an "Up With People!" concert, more like "Up Your Friggin' Mothah's Ass, People!" Heh.

 

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Mike:
Absolutely. If you want hospitality go to a hotel not a ballpahk, but losing out to St. Louis for the Numero Uno ranking of "Fan IQ" pisses me off.

 

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Doug:
Well, with the Red Sox booming popularity since 2004 and all the bandwagonahs that have come with it, you've gotta figure the IQ pool would be diluted a bit.

 

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Doug:
I mean with all due respect to the lovely ladies of The Sexy Sox Girls, I doubt very much that Theo is going to find the next Eric Van or Voros McCracken in that bunch.

 

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Mike:
Well, even if that's true, speaking for myself and my palpitating cleavage loving haht, I'm willing to forfeit a few points in Fan IQ for that.

 

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Doug:
No doubt. I mean you know what they say — All VORP and no cleave, makes Jack a dull dweeb.

 

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Comments

[Harwich Rich]

Voros McCracken? Wasn't his brother in Slapshot?

[da kine]

I can't say as I disagree with the stadium rankings. I just wonder if we would have done better if we still had the trough-style urinals. Those were kewl.

[Bob]

Here's a better article about Fenway (just got the email this morning oddly enough):

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080428&content_id=2603841&vkey=news_mlb&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb?partnerId=MLB_INS_050108_leadstory

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

These sorts of surveys are always eyeroll inducing. Team quality is rated the same as "neighborhood"? Bleh.

And Dodger Stadium at 22 is almost as bad as Fenway at 21. Setting aside the fans' reputation, it's a great place to watch baseball.

[louclinton]

Some deep links today, hb.

Where'd you get those pictures of milkcows in RS Gear. Nice.

My views of the dirty shithole that is Fenway are too well-known to repeat here.

I do think that Chavez Ravine and the Oakland Coliseum got bad raps. I have had very pleasant baseball experiences at both.

Note: I am not including $1 beer night several years ago at The House That Al Built. That was problematic.

lc

[Steve in MD]

What? No love for Pedroia? He has saved us two games in a row. I'd say Pap owes him a good chunck of his next paycheck. Mothra was awesome, but it would have been all for naught if Dustin doesn't make that play.

In other news, the Rogah Bimbo Count is up to three now...

Thanks for the SRSG link h.b. That's bookmarked!

[Scott]

I hate to say it but Coors Field is a much better park than Fenway. Tradition aside of course.

I don't have to take out a loan to see a ball game either.

Nice win last night.

[denversoxfan]

Speaking from experience, #24 in Fan IQ is about where your reigning NL champion Colorado Rockies belong. Nobody knows a damn thing about baseball in this city except me.

[h.b]

//What? No love for Pedroia? //

Yeah, I always feel some remorse when I can't include everything in a single strip.

You can always assume that the characters are talking about other subjects before and after the moment in time you're dropping in on for any given strip.

[COD]

3rd bimbo?

[Scott]

LOL Denver.

What about the thousands of Sox fans that live here too...

You ever head over to the Pourhouse, Blake St. or Spanky's for a game?

[Bob]

COD, the latest rumour is that Roger was sleeping with Cletus's wife from The Simpsons.

[meredith]

Chavez Ravine is indeed a great place to see a game ... but the clueless Dodger fans are annoying as hell.

I was pleasantly surprised by my visit to Petco Field in San Diego a couple years ago -- great park, great seats available two minutes before game time, and at least in the section I was in, pretty knowledgeable fans.

But nothing beats the Fenway Experience. Too bad I can't afford it any more. :/

[louclinton]

In re: Petco. Totally agree. Great setting, easy access, Kahlil Greene, and microbrews.

Petco has the closest vibe to a hockey arena that I have seen in a ballpark. Lots of animations circling the field in sequence, bright shiny lights and sound effects.

[sonomasox]

In fine, vintage form HB...
//Quasi erastus demonstratum, bitches.// &
//All VORP and no cleave, makes Jack a dull dweeb//
That's some good sheeit.

LC - as for the house that Al built, I've bitched about that place far too often - those $1 beers must have seriously clouded your senses.

AT&T/PacBell is a great stadium if you don't mind that half the crowd is oblivious to the actual game

[Steve in MD]

COD, the NY Post is now linking Rogah to two athletes' ex-wives in addition to the country singer.

Fenway South (er, Camden Yards) is a great place to see a game, unless you are in the left field grandstand. And the fans are always very knowledgeable at games I go to - of course, they're all wearing Red Sox colors... (The O's were in first place going into last night's action and there were less than 12,000 fans in the stands)

[yazbread]

Appears to the the Daily News that is going strong with the Clemens stories. Roger better hope that Debby stays on his side.

[RationalSoxFan]

Loved the hospitality bit - brilliant!

Yes, the pitching looks great, but like I wrote today, how about some offense? The 3 earned runs in 30 innings balances all too well with the 5 scored runs in the past 45 innings.

Personally I think the cold has a bit to do with the pitching and lack of hitting the past two games. Warmer weather will level the field again.

[EvenCambridgeNerdsLoveTheSox]

//Quasi erastus demonstratum, bitches.//

I dig the sentiment, but I think it might be:
// quod erat demonstratum, bitches //

(I don't know from Latin, but Erastus was a writer, and QED gets written out a lot in math proofs).

[Kaz]

If it's 2 ex-wives plus the country singer, then he's now linked to 4 bimbos.

Debbie H.G.H. Clemens ain't the brightest bulging bulb in the whole deck either...

[Rob in CT]

I saw one was John Daly's(!) ex. Who else is being implicated?

[Tom Someone]

//I dig the sentiment, but I think it might be:
// quod erat demonstratum, bitches ////

I don't know from cod-Latin in-jokes but I think this might be one.

[Bob]

In other sexual affair news (with a Massachusetts angle):

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24410315/&GT1=43001

[Bob]

Let's try that again:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24410315/&GT1=43001.

[Bob]

Huh. Still doesn't work.

Long story short, Babba Walters had an affair with former Mass. Senator Edward Brooke in the '70s.

[Steve in MD]

/I saw one was John Daly's(!) ex. Who else is being implicated??

Some pro wrestler's ex-wife according to the NY rag.

[h.b.]

Yes, it should be "quod erat demonstratum, bitches."

I'm getting sloppy. I used the other as a placeholder knowing it was something along those lines with a plan to Google it ("did you mean...?") and replace with correct and forgot.

Fixing it now.

[Erin]

Way to bring the misogyny, dude. :(

I agree with Ryan with a capital 'R' that Dodger Stadium seems low-rated. Except the traffic is seriously crappy.