Farm-Aid

Doug:
How deep and awesome is the Red Sox fahm system?

 

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Doug:
So deep and awesome that they can reach out to double-A Portland and bring up a kid for just one game and in that game the kid is "masterful" in working 6 1/3 innings and allowing just 1 run on 3 hits, with 3 walks and 5 strikeouts.

 

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Bill:
How do you think lil' Hanky Steinbrennah feels when he boots up his computah and reads that?

 

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Doug:
This friggin' pic of A-Rod says it all. "Mikey I'm getting one of my sick headaches again. Do you want to have a sleepover?"

 

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Bill:
How about this line from the Post: "The Yankees converted baseball's highest cathedral into the world's largest commode last night."

 

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Doug:
Christ, we've been calling that place The Toilet for years. The Post is just seeing that now?

 

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Bill:
The Spankees have now lost 4 straight and 6 of their last 7. And if I smile any widah, I'll risk permanent paralysis of my facial nerves.

 

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Doug:
Are you kidding me? I'm a mothefucking pimp, and Schadenfreude is my bitch. 

 

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Comments

[Bob]

Bill needs to see a doctor:

http://www.webmd.com/brain/tc/bells-palsy-topic-overview

[h.b]

Bob,

That's exactly what I was looking for, bells palsy, but I couldn't remember the name and, oddly, my Googling failed as well.

So I had to go with the more generic "parlysis of my facial nerves."

[sonomasox]

In that pose, Bill always looks like he has the palsy...or he's posing for the new JC Penny catalog.

El Guapo redux anyone?

[okdok]

Masterson's stuff was just nasty. It looked like KC hitters just gave up on the last three K's.

[louclinton]

Given the fact that life in RSN is so rich and bountiful, I have nothing to say.

lc

[Colin]

Man I feel so glad with Masterson's win/promotion and the Yankees being routed.

Some NY asshole calls me childish and immature because I roll in the schadenfreude. I promptly tell him to go fuck himself and the horse he rode in on since the MFY deserve last place right now. All those assholes think they have divine right to the World Series when clearly they don't. Hank the fat fuck thinks this is a Yankee country when the nation from Baltimore to Tampa to Detroit to even their own city begs to differ. Childish and immature eh? I'm just overjoyed to see retribution for a change.

Ask me how I really fell right?

[Colin]

Man I feel so glad with Masterson's win/promotion and the Yankees being routed.

Some NY asshole calls me childish and immature because I roll in the schadenfreude. I promptly tell him to go fuck himself and the horse he rode in on since the MFY deserve last place right now. All those assholes think they have divine right to the World Series when clearly they don't. Hank the fat fuck thinks this is a Yankee country when the nation from Baltimore to Tampa to Detroit to even their own city begs to differ. Childish and immature eh? I'm just overjoyed to see retribution for a change.

Ask me how I really feel right?

[yazbread]

The one run charged to Masterson - I thought Lugo made a pretty weak-ass attempt at getting to the ball hit up the middle.

[Narc]

I think that last line deserves to go on a Soxaholix T-shirt...

[Kaz]

First, we let two youngsters crap all over the Royals.

Today we unleash the Colon.

[RationalSoxFan]

Sleepover! LOL!

Kaz - Unleash the Colon! HA!

You know, I can't stand Girardi. Does anyone think the Orioles really threw at Jeter intentionally? And yet, Girardi thinks it is a good idea to have his guy throw at the Orioles in retaliation, almost beaning the guy and nearly starting a brawl. Friggin' Idiot!

And doesn't it seem liek 90% of A-Rod's home runs come at meaningless times?

Things are good in Boston today - Go Celitcs!

[Natalie]

Sitting on the train from zaandam right now. Across from me is a 16 year old dutch kid wearing a white yanks track suit w gold lame lettering. The gold chain is an extra nice touch. Nice to know that even int'l yanks fans are douchebags. As for bells palsy, add some white face paint and a green suit and I am the joker here. Schadenfreude is awesome.

[Colin]

Question guys:
Is it childish to laugh out loud at the misfortunes of the MFY instead of "keep it inside" and not use vile language to describe one's joy watching them lose?

[Seamus]

You know, the NY Post is an awful paper. Think of virtually any complaint about the state of contemporary journalism and the NY Post is primed and ready to appear as Exhibit A. I avoid it like the plague - except when the MFYs get hosed or are on a monumental losing streak. Then I can't resist. As much fun as it is to get together with friends and make snide remarks about the MFYs, it is even more satisfying to read the same sort of thing in the NY Post.

[Kaz]

Nat, joker? Smoker? Midnight toker (when in Amsterdam..)?

Get your lovin' on the run?

[SonofHamulack]

Anybody know where I can get a
"My favorite team is the Red Sox and whoever's playing the Rays" t-shirt?

[Natalie]

Kaz, yeah, but I sure don't want to hurt no one.

SonofH- that's hilarious. Get Kintees on that shit ASAP.

[Kaz]

Natalie: Kaz, yeah, but I sure don't want to hurt no one.

Liar. Hehehe.

[Natalie]

I have no idea what you mean, Kaz. I am all sweetness and light and puppies and parades and David Archuletta-like innocence. ;)

[Bob]

I hope I'm not giving away any secrets here, but when I met Natalie at Fenway, she killed two puppies in front of several children from The Jimmy Fund.

[Natalie]

And your point, Bob? If I recall correctly, Tavarez was in and killing puppies is just part of the ritual sacrifice to the pitching gods (Jobu?)true fans are called upon to do if they desire an A+ performance from Batshit. Now that he is gone, those Jimmy Fund kids no longer have to avert their eyes.

[Harwich Rich]

...and served them with Sriracha?

[SoxNJ]

Seamus, I've been living behind enemy lines for 25 years. NY media and fans are going absolutely crazy right now. Ripping everyone from Hank, Cashman, Girardi and on down the roster.

Larry Brooks in today's NY Post writes:

" They are intent on proving that $208 million doesn't go as far as it used to"

""Damon with one more year on his $13M per contract appears to be as bad a position-player signing as Brian Cashman has ever made".

Other classic lines include:

Giambi can't move to handle Jeters bad throw after nonchalant Cano fails to cover the bag for a sure inning ending DP. Hawkins bush-league pitch at Scotts head when down 10-0 with two outs in the sixth.

Finally he writes "Bush-League baseball from a team that likes to pretend it's still royalty".

I buy 2-3 local papers a day just to read this stuff.

[Tijuana Hookslide]

It's hard to take Girardi seriously when Jeter hangs out over the plate like that. I'm surprised he doesn't get hit on the hands more.

[pinstripe thunder]

Guys like Jeter and Utley live to get hit. That's their job. Nat, I see your toy took away some of the rough edges for the moment, as it's supposed to do. That's THEIR job. At least now we know exactly what effect white wine has on you, and we heartily approve.

[Seamus]

SoxNJ - I'd be out there buying every newspaper and tabloid I could if I were in your situation. I live out on the west coast (Oregon) and keep up via mlb.tv and various Sox-oriented web sites like this one. I did have this glorious experience, though: the night the Sox clinched the ALCS in '04 I was flying the red eye to Vermont. I watched the final innings at the airport and then boarded my plane. I was flying JetBlue, which has televisions for every seat, so I watched ESPN as I fell in and out of sleep. Damon's granny and Pokey's throw to first looped on the screen and in my dreams all night long. Then we landed in NY were we waited for our connecting flight. I watched with increasingly sadistic glee as the morning papers hit the newstands, all of them expressing shock and horror at what the Red Sox had done. It was worth being behind enemy lines for a few hours just to watch Yankee fans walking around like zombies, shaking their heads in disbelief. And then I was off to Burlington, VT to be with my people as the Sox sealed the deal against the Cards. Originally, I had been a bit annoyed that I had to travel during the playoffs but, in the end, it all worked out perfectly.

[soxdownunder]

Schadenfreude is my bitch: best line evah?

Natalie killed only two puppies? No cats? Jobu requires more sacrifice.

[bucker was framed]

and here all along I thought puppies and Natalie meant something else.... stupid ass that I am

[buckner was framed]

Oh, and he's still an ass, but (from today's Globe) "You hear archrival Hank Steinbrenner, whose young Yankees pitchers aren't quite performing up to par, say, 'Anybody would be touched by what that kid has gone through. Great performance. You tip your cap to that. I got to watch some of the highlights, and he was outstanding. That's what you hope for from a kid you've developed.'" Maybe it's a double-secret reverse gooch, with a side of sour grapes, but a little classy nonetheless

[buckner was framed]

(the above refers to Lester, obviously)