A different breed

Doug:
Christ, nothing like getting swept the second series of the season, guess 2008 isn't going to be all milk 'n' honey after all.

 

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Al:
Can you believe the Sox haven't won a series in Canada in 6 tries?

 

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Mike:
Fuck. There hasn't been a group of guys with so little success in the North since the Franklin Expedition.

 

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Doug:
At least there's no cannibalism yet.

 

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Mike:
Only a mattah of time according to Ted Turnah.

 

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Doug:
I love the irony of Turnah lecturing us about global warning while sending broadcast team to Toronto to covah the Sox game nationally on TBS. I mean I'm sure they didn't use any cahbon or anything getting up there.

 

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Mike:
The hypocrisy aside, the biggest problem with all these celebrity doomsday scenes is that they're not especially scary are they?

 

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Al:
Seriously. "Water levels will rise"? Yawnchestah.

 

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Doug:
Yeah, Turnah at least ups the ante but it still ends up kind of lame.

 

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Mike:
Absolutely. Cannibalism in an of itself is kind of "meh."

 

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Mike:
I mean, c'mon, where's the imagination? Where's the apocalyptic "outside the box" thinking?

 

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Doug:
Right, what Turnah should doom and gloom us with is something like a future where people are primitive, dress in rags, can't speak and … ARE RULED BY APES!

 

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Author's Notes

The final panel is a shout out to the recently passed Charlton Heston, whose body of work includes some of the best post-apocalyptic genre films of all time, and whose voice will linger forever in my memory uttering some of the best lines in film history.

Comments

[MattOfCT]

At least we can now pull the rifle from his cold dead hand.

(too soon?)

[Harwich Rich]

"Behold His mighty gland"

[Harwich Rich]

...and the ever popular "Soylent Green is people!"

[Jason O.]

My Carville/Matalin-esque relationship with this site is often reinforced by healthy doses of character skepticism, particularly re: the awesome, imminent, inescapable threat of climate change.

There is no phone ringing, dammit.

[Bob]

Get your paws off me, you damn dirty ape.

[cal]

as turner said...

"Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals. Civilization will have broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state — like Somalia or Sudan — and living conditions will be intolerable. The droughts will be so bad there’ll be no more corn grown. Not doing it is suicide.”

i don't know, that's pretty damn doom and gloomy. although it's crazy as all hell to believe that will happen in 30 years...

[yazbread]

Well if the theme is Charlton Heston movies, I'll have to cast a vote for 'The Big Country' if only for its realistic knock-down, dragged-out fight between Peck and Heston. On the other hand, I failed to make it to the end of 'A Touch of Evil'.

[h.b.]

Yeah, tried to work Soylent Green into today's strip of an example of a scarier form of "cannibalism" than what Turner predicts.

[Bob]

It's genuine 160-proof old Anglo-Saxon baby.

[Kaz]

Heston was a wily one for me. I don't agree with a lot of things the NRA *does*. However, what it *says* is nothing I can argue with. Also, many of the people who find themselves attracted to the NRA end up being people who hold other, unrelated views that I find to be provably wrong and detrimental. On top of all that, the NRA doesn't fully define Charlton, as some people have come to know him. The way he handled Alzheimer's was very impressive. He kept his dignity and integrity through it and never let it get the better of him. In a TV interview, he quoted the adage: "If you can't cure it, you must endure it." So true.

And bringing it back to the Sox, it's what RSN has always done. We, as fans, can't really change the team ourselves. We can't cure any problems the team has, only discuss them and endure them.

And here's a Heston quote you might enjoy, h.b. After coming to grips with his disease, he gave a speech by video to retire from public life. He said:

"As an actor, I'm thankful I have lived not one life, but many."

Yeah, yeah, you're not the characters, blah blah blahblah.

[h.b.]

Good point, Kaz, about reminding us to separate the man, Heston, from the characters he has played as actor.

It's funny, though, that you typically only hear these kinds of bio's (e.g, "he was a cool as an actor but his politics were awful") when the actor in question has views that are conservative in root.

Of course, as a member of the NRA since I was a kid and owner of several firearms of various caliber and type, I'm biased in favor of Heston's political views on the 2nd Amendment as well.

[joefreak]

One also tends to forget that in the 50's and 60's Heston was outspoken in favor of civil rights. He,like Ronald Reagan and cartoonist Al Capp, was at one time, in the liberal wing!

[Jason O.]

It's sadly typical that Heston's MSM obits attempt to differentiate his early 60's involvement in the civil rights movement as "good" and his NRA leadership "bad."

From a past issue of the Georgetown law journal: "The Second Amendment: Toward an Afro-Americanist Reconsideration."

"...Ida Wells-Barnett reported an incident in Memphis in 1891 in which a black militia unit for two or three nights guarded approximately 100 jailed blacks who were deemed at risk of mob violence. When it seemed the crisis had passed, the militia unit ceased its work. It was only after the militia unit left that a white mob stormed the jail and lynched three black inmates.[243]

A. Philip Randolph, the longtime head of the Brotherhood of Sleeping Car Porters, and Walter White, onetime executive secretary of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, vividly recalled incidents in which their fathers had participated in collective efforts to use firearms to successfully forestall lynchings and other mob violence. As a thirteen-year-old, White participated in his father's experiences,[244] which, he reported, left him "gripped by the knowledge of my own identity, and in the depths of my soul, I was vaguely aware that I was glad of it."[245] After his father stood armed at a jail all night to ward off lynchers,[246] Randolph was left with a vision, not "of powerlessness, but of the 'possibilities of salvation,' which resided in unity and organization."[247]

The willingness of blacks to use firearms to protect their rights, their lives, and their property, alongside their ability to do so successfully when acting collectively, renders many gun control statutes, particularly of Southern origin, all the more worthy of condemnation. This is especially so in view of the (p.355)purpose of these statutes, which, like that of the gun control statutes of the black codes, was to disarm blacks."

[Steve in MD]

During thier 1980's campaign against fertilizers and pesticides, Greenpeace argued that the dramatic increases in food production per acre under cultivation were solely due to incresing carbon dioxide content in the atmosphere. Now increasing CO2 is supposed to lead to decreasing food production? Bad science piled on top of bad science...

[Scott]

RIP Charlton Heston.

Planet Of The Apes was so far ahead of it's time. That movie still holds up today. The remake wasn't even close.

I'm embarrassed to say I just watched Soylent Green a few months ago.

The Omega Man is the next on the list.

Get yer dirty paws off my guns! I keep mine underneath the seat of my truck next to the bottle of whiskey...

[Natalie]

Global warming, race, the 2nd Amendment? Anyone want to talk about religion, abortion or stem cell research? :)

Yesterday was a brutal game to watch. The Sox just looked lifeless. And what is up with the Jays' new unis? They looked to me just like the atrocious (Devil) Rays ones. U.G.L.Y.

[buckner was framed]

Nat-
It was far uglier to actually BE there.... I'm now O-fer Toronto, having endured the last 3 game series there as well. Lifeless doesn't even begin to describe them. And the fans, while very polite, were taking pity on us by the end of the weekend. Not good all around. At least the Customs agent wasn't an MFY fan this time- he was a Giants fans. An improvement. I think.

[h.b.]

So true, Nat.

Blue jays already had awful uniforms but they found a way to make it worse.

Yet another reason why I find it hard to ever take the Blue Jays seriously no matter how often they seem to have our number.

[Go Sox. Go Heels. Yankees Suck. Dook Sucks.]

Okay, I'll bite. How about Julio Lugo. I never liked that guy, and now I still never liked him. So what he had a couple of hits in the playoffs. He's a waste of money and I can't stand looking at him.

Maybe I'm just bitter because the Heels got spanked AND the Sox got swept. Or maybe I'm really really bitter.

[sonomasox]

To mix both topics today...

Look for more on the team to grab one of those Bible vaporizer incubator things and diet regimen program that JDD has used. Two HR over the weekend - he's on to something!

[Kaz]

Surviving Grady had this quote from Pedroia:

“I’m tired of hearing that shit,” Dustin Pedroia said. “Yeah, we had to go to Japan and yeah, we had a 19-day road trip, but that’s the schedule, we have to accept it, no excuses. We played like shit for three games and got our asses kicked, how’s that?”

Goddamn, I really like that guy's moxy.

[vermonter]

...hmmm...hairy ass and owns guns...

[buckner was framed]

In honor of our noted world traveler/photographer sdu, here are a few photos from this weekend
Robby Alomar night, Pedro rehabbing, Capt America in the house, etc

[soxdownunder]

I was thinking of you, Buck - tragic. And sorry but I put the second amendment up there with the Hot Dog eating contest in my 'crazy things I don't understand about America' list. As to sport, the http://www.realfooty.com.au/news/rfmatchreport/magpies-give-tigers-a-kick/2008/04/06/1207420205150.html "> Maggies won at least.

[soxdownunder]

Nice pictures!

[Randy@GreaterBostonTickets]

RIP Heston. As for the Sox I dont care what Dustin says....that schedule def messed with 90% of the players. Even Schill posted on his blog about it, and he is just rehabbing for god sakes.

[pinstripe thunder]

I'm trying to distill today's discussion topics into a single overall theme. Maybe Josh Beckett needed a gun with him on the mound yesterday?

If you want to see a really good, scary, post-apocalyptic film about global warming (from the `50's, I think), check out Day of the Triffids.

[NYSoxfan]

Dustin's right. The Sox won't get anywhere this season if they allow themselves to whinge and make excuses. No excuses and no mercy for the hapless Tigers. Bury 'em early, I say.

[Mike E!]

"We, as fans, can't really change the team ourselves. We can't cure any problems the team has, only discuss them and endure them."

Kaz, that's not entirely true. I hold to the fact that I made Matt Stairs go 0-4 with 3 swinging K's on Saturday in his desires to shut me up. Then, when he came out of the game after his 4th AB ending in a weak pop-out, I'm convinced it was because he was crying. I think I heckled him to tears. Section 130D is fantastic for 40 bones.

[Kaz]

Randy, looking a lot better. Saw the ad, even clicked through to see which resale network you were using.

A "website" posting 1-liners that I couldn't understand the context at all just rubbed my suspicions the wrong way. You'll find using a personal name (even if it's not necessarily your actual name) and putting up some sponsor dollars will go a long way to acceptance. Welcome to the insanity.

[Greater Boston Tickets]

Thanks Kaz, I truly was trying to post a add when you first wrote to me. There was a certain $ amount you had to spend if you were not to use paypal. So be rest assured the blog is getting its due. Also my name really is Randy and I hope everyone enjoys the ceremony today.

[h.b.]

*** Note: No strip today, Tuesday ***

Many doctor appts this morning for my wife. No time to bust out a strip.

[Bob]

Did you hear about the Mets' "8th Inning Song Contest"?

First of all, the fact that "Sweet Caroline" was one of the choices is just bizarre.

But the funniest thing is that the contest got Rickrolled, and it appears Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" won in a landslide.

[Steve in MD]

Best of luck with the doc's today, h.b.

Here's hoping Mrs. h.b. gets a clean bill of health.

And I hope for good news from Fenway as well. Go Sox!

[Bob]

Oh, jeez, didn't even see H.B.'s note.

Not that doc appointments can be enjoyable, but here's hoping they go really well.

[louclinton]

In re: 8th Inning Song Contest.

Jeez, lame

How about:

"Personality Crisis" by The New York Dolls

or

"Burning Down the House" by THeads

or

"Send In The Clouds" by the Silver Jews

[my new favorite band, btw]

Rings aplenty today. let's go boys.

lc

[yazbread]

Let's keep the Tigers out of the win column.

[RationalSoxFan]

hb,

Good luck with the Doc appt. Hope all is continuing to improve (for both of you)!

Wish I could be there today - but I'll try to watch for the flyover from the office.

Tigers are due for a win - but not today! I can't stand Rogers, and we often seem to fare well against him.

Did a whole Yankee analysis yesterday if anyone is interested. Bottom line - they screwed up by sitting on their hands all winter. Yankees in town Friday!

[Betsy in Rhode Island]

Billy Buck in town today to throw out the first pitch!

[Betsy in Rhode Island]

Billy Buck in town today to throw out the first pitch!

[yazbread]

Anyone notice that Los Birdos drew less than 10,000 yesterday?

[buckner was framed]

THAT was a nice touch... welcome back Mr Buckner

[Bob]

Anybody going to the game tomorrow (Wednesday)?

If so, I'll be at Copperfield's (the Down Under basement part) around 5:30. If that section isn't open for some reason, I'll be at Copperfield's upstairs.

[jen in HI]

lou, that's an excellent choice of a new favorite band. American water, Natural Bridge...great great albums. Bring on the Major Leagues.

hb, hope the doc appointments turned up some good news. best wishes...

[jen in HI]

Also, not sure if you guys are familiar with "Improv Everywhere" but they recently turned a kid's little league game (Mudcats v. Lugnuts in Hermosa Beach) into a MLB style event! It's totally sweet.
http://improveverywhere.com/2008/04/07/best-game-ever/