Change We Can Believe In

Marty:
Hey, Callaghan, I thought I'd call to give you the news from the Yankees Training Camp as I doubt you delusional New Englanders can take your heads out of your Red Sox asses long enough to see how you're going to lose the AL East this year …

 

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Marty:
Young phenom Hughes is having impressive bullpen workouts and Moose is due to bounce back and even the Boss is looking good.

 

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Bill:
Now, Mahty, if I were you, I wouldn't be making any late Octobah plans just yet.

 

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Bill:
Which reminds me, Mahts, I don't think you need to make any plans to be in Washington D.C. as a guest of your gal Hillary at her Inaugural Ball neithah.

 

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Bill:
As I predicted ovah a year ago, Obama owns the inside the plate on Clinton and she is getting brushed back more with every pitch.

 

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Marty:
It's way too early, Callaghan, to count Senator Clinton out.

 

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Bill:
What are you saying, Mahts, she's going to come back from the impossible 0-3 hole like the 2004 Red Sox?

 

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Bill:
Hmmm, no disrespect intended but I don't think yoozeguyz from New York have it in you for something like that, but I can have Lisa the Temp Handbrake my 2004 ALCS DVDs and send them on ovah to you.

 

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Bill:
Then you and your fellow Clintonistas can sit around getting all inspiahed from the greatest comeback of all time.

 

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Marty:
Funny, Bill. But what's even funnier is how appropriate it is that you're supporting Obama. I mean he's a lot like the Red Sox isn't he, what with not much of a record and hyped by a Cult of Personality similar to Red Sox Nation?

 

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Marty:
Don't forget, Hillary has real experience, just like the Yankees have 26 Pennants.

 

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Bill:
Whatev, Mahts. But have you looked at the calendar lately? It's not the 199Os anymore. The Clinton years are ovah, just like the Yankees Dynasty is ovah.

 

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Bill:
Embrace the change, Mahty, embrace it.

 

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Comments

[da kine]

I can't believe I am actually going to fucking vote for McCain.

[michaelmc]

So he can Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran?

[h.b]

I don't think there is any current politician that would have the balls/stomach to bomb Iran.

The Israelis do, though, at least.

[iwanttobealion]

Iran will just be the beginning if we have four more years of republican rule. Syria, here we come!

[Rock]

A socialist who represents change vs. a socialist who represents the 1990s vs. a semi-socialist with a hard-on for the Middle East.

We're doomed.

But at least I can hold my head high knowing that a billion and a half in payroll later, the Yankees still haven't won the World Series this century while the Red Sox have won it twice! The Yanks might have won it 26 times in the 20th Century, but what have they done for you lately Marty?

[NYer]

Wha? I'm a New Yorker, a Yankee fan and an Obama fan. I voted for him in the primary.

Hillary's a Cubs fan. She's a good senator, but there's no NY loyalty to her when she runs for President.

[yazbread]

Marty was hiding under his bed last night because the last time we had a lunar eclipse it was ... 'Back to Foulke'.

[Billy Mahty]

Let's see, Rock.. change sucks, for sure. And the 90s, whoo, they sucked. The Middle East, dreamy. Easy choice.

[NYer]

PS: Hillary won the NY primary, but she won in Taxachusetts too.

[vermonter]

Just wait until Bernie runs. It'll be free hummus and sandals for everyone.

[h.b]

Just a caveat not to over analyze today's strip.

It's really as simple as this: Marty and Bill can never agree. But they are both Democrats, so one is for Hillary and one is for Obama.

And like any strip from any given day, it isn't going to stand up to much rational scrutiny.

[vermonter]

Oh yeah...and you'll be able to pick up an oz with your latte.

[Bob]

"Stabbed by Foulke," yazbread.

Remember, it's going to be on my tombstone.

BTW, if Mass. governors can't win the White House, can a senator who steals a Mass. gov's speech win?

(Is today Friday?)

[Billy Mahty]

Yeah. h.b., I liked Marty's Obama=Sox/Hillary=Yanks analogy. Clever.

[Devine]

It's fun to be somewhat less irrationally angry when I see Marty...last year did wonders for my psyche.

[FarmBoy]

Lar-ry Sin-Clair!
Clap Clap ClapClapClap

[Bob]

SDU, did you get your tix for Japan?

http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/articles/2008/02/21/tickets_for_red_sox_as_mlb_series_in_japan_sell_out_quickly/

[Jason O.]

hb admits that the strip does not stand up to rational scrutiny?

For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of this website.

[Natalie]

I confess I have drunk the Obama koolaid.

Was that eclipse last night cool or what?

Manny in sick shape AND talking to the media? This is not your father's Red Sox.

Seeing live baseball on TV (even if its only camp stuff) puts a serious hop in my step... Harbinger of springtime, despite the miserable weather forecast for tomorrow.

[denversoxfan]

Something I wonder...

Are Bill and Marty friends? Like, it's obvious that they've met in person before and were possibly getting along well BEFORE the topic of baseball came up. And they have each other's phone number...

I'm just wondering if they ever meet up at a bar when one of them is on a business trip, and how long it takes for one of them to cheap-shot the other with a chair to the face.

[yazbread]

Bob - 'Back to Foulke! Red Sox fans have longed to hear it.. ' Living in the mid-West I had to endure Joe Buck and company.

Denversoxfan - Bill and Marty went to college together. Read those character bios.

[h.b]

Bill and Marty when to college together. They were roomates their freshman year when the college just randomly assigned people to rooms.

[h.b]

J.O.,

I think I've made that "this strip doesn't stand up to rational scrutiny" statement at least 20 times (and feels like 100 times or more).

[Natalie]

//They were roomates their freshman year when the college just randomly assigned people to rooms.//

Kinda like Al Gore and Tommy Lee Jones. :)

[yazbread]

There are people who read the Old Testament and believe every word of it. There are others who view it as great literature. Same with Soxaholix. I take the view that the strip is sacred text and all who think otherwise will suffer eternal damnation.

[Natalie]

Hey, speaking of the character bios, hb... when are we going to see Mike's blog? :)

[h.b]

Nat,

That would be great and that was a plan early on, along with character myspace and facebook pages, but there never seems to be enough time.

[Natalie]

hb- you need to get yourself an intern, like Simmons did at ESPN!

[chris]

h.b. - i agree with Natalie, you need an intern.

pick me pick me!

[louclinton]

I think somebody, some time ago, mentioned a soxaholix wiki, along the lines of the Lost wiki or the House wiki. I'll look into how to start one and then we can all play along. I'll email hb, if I get any smatah about it. hb, do you have any problem with something like that?

lc

[COD]

@lc: look at http://wetpaint.com - very easy wiki to set up.

[louclinton]

@COD agreed. But, it is peppered with ads. I don't think it is fair to leverage off hb's content to generate $$ for someone else. Still looking...

lc

[vancouversoxfan]

Lovin' the strip today, h.b., just for the reason that I love seein' Bill shove it up Mahty's ass...Too often we see Mahty chortlin' over a Skankee winning streak.

"Clintonista"?...I hear Hillary is actually a "Clitonista"!

[NewtonNephew]

h.b. -- Doesn't everything about Marty's personality, income and worldview (insofar as revealed in the strip), point to his being a Rethuglican? He strikes me as a Romney guy through and through (and even looks like he could be Mitt's sixth son... "Mart Romney"?)

[Bob]

A Republican? In Manhattan?

Uh, ain't gonna happen.

Unless it's s mayoral race.

[h.b]

Netwon,

No, Marty is the classic NY, upper East side establishment liberal. Reads the New Yorker, adores the NY Times, sends his kids to private schools, feels great sympathy for the poor and minorities, provided of course he doesn't have to interact with them etc etc.

Went through this in much greater deal in the previous strip where Marty and Bill discuss Hillary and Obama.

[NewtonNephew]

Bob, the zip code 10021 generated the largest dollar total donated by any zip code (in the country) to George W. Bush's presidential campaign in both 2000 and 2004. I think it goes without saying that Marty lives in that zip code (the Upper East Side).

(Of course, 10021 was also the largest source of donations to the Democratic presidential candidates in those years. Lots of wealthy Republicans and Democrats in that richest of neighborhoods...)

[NewtonNephew]

Ah, well, I was right that Marty lives on the UES anyway.

But if Marty's a liberal, h.b., does his dad really give him that speech about not rooting for losers?

[Bob]

I think Marty lives in the Dakota. Upper West Side, on Central Park.

He used to bring John and Yoko noddlekoogle.

[soxdownunder]

//SDU, did you get your tix for Japan?//

We have extraordinarily expensive tickets (theoretically) for the first game 20 rows from the Red Sox dug out which are (theoretically) in the mail. We are still working on game 2. Thanks for the link.

I am reading a book called http://www.amazon.com/Treacherous-Alliance-Secret-Dealings-Israel/dp/0300120575/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1203627017&sr=8-1 "> 'Treacherous Alliance by Trita Parsi about the history of Israeli and Iranian relations. It's fascinating stuff. I don't really get hb's loathing of the Persian people, but then I don't really get US foreign policy either.

[h.b]

Marty's dad was a real bastard, kind of like Joe Kennedy was, except Jewish rather than Catholic. But with similar Democratic Party bona fides.

Of course, considering Joe's anti-semitism, the two wouldn't get along very well.

[Bob]

Heh. I'm Irish-Catholic, but with a last name most people think is Jewish.

I think I could probably get 200 holidays off each year.

[louclinton]

@sdu: oddly, or ironically, or just plain perversely, Southern California, sometimes referred to as Tehrangeles
or Irangeles because of the enormous concentrations of Iranians there.

It is often said that the Iranian people love the US, it's just their government that hates us. To me that is a vacant aphorism on a par with "I don't support the War, but I support the troops".

We live in Strange">http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/41127">Strange Times

[Bob]

Oh, and I always amuse my Jewish friends with a joke about "blowing the Shiffrar."

(I guess you had to be there.)

[Bob]

SDU, I think our philosophy on certain people boils down to this: if they're trying to kill us, I don't like them.

That said, I hang out at Pete's Pub, hard by several Halal markets, and get along famously with the sleeper cells, uh, vendors there.

[pinstripe thunder]

I think some of today's characters hit a rare false note. I grew up with the Martys of the world (obviously), and they aren't likely to be Clinton supporters. They tend to view themselves with the oxymoronic labels of progressive Republicans and compassionate conservatives, and they hew to ridiculous slogans like, "If you're a conservative at the age of 20, you have no heart. If you're a liberal at 40, you have no mind."

They all backed Nelson Rockefeller back in the day. But it's h.b.'s strip, and he can obviously give his characters whatever political sentiments he wants.

I can't work up much enthusiasm for Obama, but it IS fun to watch both Clinton and McCain implode. Hillary is a demagogue -- a self-important true believer incapable of changing her ideological course and political style no matter how many primary losses she is piling up (10 and counting).

And McCain has clearly learned exactly nothing from every political scandal from Watergate to Monica. It's not what he did or didn't do with that lobbyist that will sink his campaign. It's the lies he's telling about it right now that will come back to haunt him. He did not have sex with that woman? Yeah, right.

And, if I understand h.b. correctly, I don't think it's hatred of the Persian people to yearn for a redux of the Osirak reactor bombing, SDU. If not for the ballsiest military strike since the Six Day War and the raid at Entebbe, we might all be celebrating the 25th anniversary of a nuclear Iraq. I think Iran has proven itself more than worthy of exactly the same treatment.

And, as for the end of the Yankee dynasty -- you all know the famous Mark Twain quote.

[h.b]

Marty not only supports Sen. Clinton, as the previous strip alluded, he does work for her campaign from in the form of organizing fund raising parties, schmoozing potential donors etc.

Marty, though, has been somewhat of a social pariah in his circle, ever since the time he got a bit drunk and hit on Katie Couric during a John Kerry fundraiser back in '04.

[chucks]

What - Be good, and you will be lonely?

[soxdownunder]

lc - Good links - 'cept the last one doesn't work for me.

[Bob]

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

[louclinton]

//And, as for the end of the Yankee dynasty -- you all know the famous Mark Twain quote. //

"Go shit in your hat!"

yup, it applies

@sdu, I messed up, and lost the link now.

lc

[pinstripe thunder]

Touche, Bob. Two points for you.

[Bob]

Ah, you're okay PT. Most of the time, anyway.

But I still, and always will, despise the Skankees.

At least the Toilet Bowl will be gone soon.

[pinstripe thunder]

LC -- would it be fair to say that your non-surly, judicious phase vanished as quickly as it appeared? Welcome back.

[SoSock]

Just catching up on a couple of days worth.
Just to throw in my 2CW -
I am So DAMN glad Gag-me is gone!
I cringed every time he took the field last year. I'm a Tito fan, and even more so because he actually defended this guy. THAT is loyalty to your players, although I cussed him every time he actually backed up those words by putting him in.
Now watch the bastard rock for the Brewers.
I was very high on Obama early on, as in all the way back in 04, when I heard THE speech. (Or was that 00?)
I said then, this guy should be president.
I have cooled considerably, but still think maybe he's the real deal. Hard to say now. A few years in DC can apparently change anyone. Just not getting the same inspiration there was before.
I can only hope the fire is still there, he's just toning it down for the race. Like TV, music, food, and everything else in this country, politics has become about finding the lowest common denominator and being as neutral as possible. The only "changes" being made involve simply taking greater numbers of existing shows/songs/tastes/ideas and combining them to create something more milquetoast than what previously existed. Then you call it "new" and promote it as the greatest innovation yet.
Screw change, it's time for something different