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Career Opportunities (the ones that never knock)

I think Schilling is on to something with this whole "medical egos" thing.


Seriously. Your typical M.D. walks around with a chip on his or her shouldah the size of Mt. Katahdin.


I don't know, I think you guys are being way too hard on the Docs. Ego-wise they are not even in the same league with, say, a U.S. Sentator or a sports columnist.


Yeah, but in a normal person's life, you're going to have fah more face-to-face interaction with your doctah than you are with your Sentator or with Dan Shaughnessy.


And thank God for that. Can you imagine if the C.H.B. had decided to go into medicine?


"Dr. Shaughnessy I'm having trouble with my knee."

"There is nothing wrong with your knee. You're faking. You're lazy. You're a quittah."


"But, Doc, you haven't even looked at my knee."

"Look, who is wearing the white coat? Oh, right, it's me. And why is that? Oh, because I'm the doctah and you are not."


"I think I want a second opinion, Dr. Shaughnessy."

"Oh, let me guess, you're going to go down to your mom's basement and get on your little computer and search your little internet. I don't have time for you homers. Look, it says right here on your chaht that you are in fact, "A piece of filth."


"But, Doc …"

"I'm calling your boss and reporting you for wasting my time and his time."


Christ, when you put it that way, I almost feel happy that Shank thinks he has a calling for being a writah.


On the othah hand, if the CHB had taken his bloated ego into politics, the negative ads during his campaign would sure be entertaining.



Interestingly, I know a doctor up here who looks alot like Shaughnessy, curly hair, speech cadence, REAL similar, and he is the most arrogant person I've ever met. So I have an eerily accurate reference point for your (characters') point today.

I deal with surgeons all the time. And I can tell you each and every one has an ego three times the size of any ballplayer.

It's funny going into focus groups and showing surgeons ads. To a man or woman, they always say, "well, the idea is okay, but I would have closed the incision much better than that."

BTW, Abby's dad is a doctor. Don't tell her I told you, but he catches rats and racoons around his Brookline home, then gases them.

Evidently, he lives within a couple blocks of Dice-K. Hope he doesn't wander onto the doc's property.

I know some very nice and very competent medical professionals, but I've also known many doctors who had basically this attitude. It's degrading to their patients (and the condescension is unbearable), and they'll often miss a problem because they're so sure they're right.

h.b. with a title like that I thought there was going to be some clevah inserts from the Clash. I still applaud you for thinking of them. Have you checked out Mick Jones' new venture: Carbon/Silicon?
It's nice to know that our lives are in the hands of egotistical pricks (not that they are all that way, just most of them).

Interesting how the characters (and in this case myself as well) are not alone in having the same ego experience with doctors.


To Bob: Is Abby's last name "Mengele." Just checking...

To therev: Yeah, I typically do the titles last, so the Clash's "Career Opportunities" popped into my head w/o any other Clash refs. Have heard bits of Carbon/Silicon but it hasn't hooked me in much.

I still love the first B.A.D. dynamite album, but, for the most part, Mick Jones on his own has felt, to me, much less than Joe Stummer (May He Rest in Peace) did on his own.

And, of course, neither alone comes close to how good they were when together.

//To Bob: Is Abby's last name "Mengele." Just checking...//

No, but it IS German.

I'm scared now...

I once had a doctor report me to the state Board for having the balls to question one of his decisions (which is part of my job description). Didn't talk to me directly, just went right to the state. He was a dermatologist treating someone's cholesterol, and he couldn't understand why I questioned that. But, hey- what do I know? Paul Byrd's dentist treats hypopituitary disease too

Sure docs are full of themselfs, but we put them on a pedestal and they get high from the second hand smoke. "My friends",to be as intensely focussed on something as a surgeon must be, we need to cut them some slack. I have a surgeon to thank for the reversal/correction of one of the biggest challenges I had ever faced. My friends, I am even going to go a step further and defend PHB, for being a throwback to the days when the columnist was the story, as much as what he was writing about. Of course, my friends, PHB is a monkey's patoot and all that, but he is practicing the lost art of advocacy columny (as opposed to calumny). see e.g. Dave ("The Colonel') Egan, ringleader of The Knights of The Keyboard, during the Splendid Popsicle's run.
So anyway,


To be fair, the orthopedic surgeon who re-jiggered my humerus and shoulder was a wonderful, pleasant, self-effacing man. Dr. William Donaldson at New England Medical, if anyone falls down two flights of stairs after a Game 1 loss to the Skankees in the ALSC.

OK, who stole the real LouClinton and replaced him with this judicious and non-surly impostor?

hb, you left out "not nearly as entertaining".

Hey h.b., something strange: the text is missing from the frame before the "DR. SHAUGHNESSY I'M HAVING TROUBLE WITH MY KNEE" frame.

I'm on Safari, so it's probably just my issue.

This is what happens when a judge orders you to attend Surly Management classes.

I had a rash on my arms of unknown source (no new interactions, never allergic to anything before). I went to a new doc for the first time since my new job's insurance kicked in. He asked if I'd traveled during the holidays and if it had been warm. I said, yes, home to Maryland and it was unseasonably warm the first day down there. He said he'd seen a guy from Delaware who got some sort of mite from the beaches there and thought I had the same. He tested me for Lyme Disease, to be safe (there was a pretty good "ring" forming on my shin), and gave me a prescription for a steroid cream to help with the rash.

I went home and took a cellphone picture to send to my mom (nurse manager for intensive care). She had her unit's Intensivist look at the photo and immediately the woman said it was tinea corpus, basically athelete's foot of the leg. She said that the steroid cream would have inflammed the fungus and made the itching worse, instead I started using the anti-fungal cream. The rash began leaving.

I called the doc to get the results of the Lyme Disease test, just to be sure. He said it was clear and how was my rash doing. I told him that it was diagnosed by someone from a cellphone photo miles away and that they had it right since the cream was working. He said they were full of crap for not having seen the rash like he did and it couldn't be fungus. For him, it had to be this unnamed mite. Of course, there were no signs of any mite anywhere on me and my mom pointed out that the steroid cream was to treat the rash symptom (if it were a mite) but that he never gave me anything for the mite itself. Since he was giving me attitude for ignoring his diagnosis, I threw that back in his face, asking him what he planned to do for me about the mite since he didn't give me anything to kill mites. He said if I didn't like it, I should get a second opinion (third, actually, since I got the one from Maryland already) and gave me the name of a dermatologist he trusted. I thanked him and never went (the rash had gone by that point anyways).

Not sure if I'll use his services again (yay for PPOs), but I couldn't believe that he couldn't wrap his ego around the fact that he didn't give me anything to treat this mystery mite and ignored the results from using an anti-fungal cream.

Man, I miss my family doc down in Maryland.

Also, I see the same as Billy Mahty. There seems to be an extraneous frame in today's comic.

I took that empty bubble as Doug's way of silently laughing at the notion of CHB in medicine.

Yep, empty frame not intentional. Fixed now.

Shift+reload...still there.

I think Doug put it back in silent protest.

Also, in all of the bubbles linking to the Phoenix article, there seems to be a ton of extraneous paragraph space too. I don't know if it has something to do with the extensive linking or what.

Actually two errors, compounded by typepad trying to "fix" one of the errors. Should be OK now.

just to put a positive spin on things, I am running Firefox 3.0 beta, and everything displays wicked nice.


Great ball-busting going on in this strip! and the funniest part of it is the empty balloon! characters with strong opinions on the topic and yet speechless!

Always fun to hear Schilling talk about anyone else's ego...

Jed: I have an M.D. from Harvard, I am board certified in cardio-thoracic medicine and trauma surgery, I have been awarded citations from seven different medical boards in New England, and I am never, ever sick at sea. So I ask you; when someone goes into that chapel and they fall on their knees and they pray to God that their wife doesn't miscarry or that their daughter doesn't bleed to death or that their mother doesn't suffer acute neural trama from postoperative shock, who do you think they're praying to? Now, go ahead and read your Bible, _Dennis_, and you go to your church, and, with any luck, you might win the annual raffle, but if you're looking for God, he was in operating room number two on November 17, and he doesn't like to be second guessed. You ask me if I have a God complex. Let me tell you something: I am God.


'nuff ced.

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