Jags will learn the truth at seventeen

Al:
Well, now that I can die in peace having seen the Red Sox win not one but two World Series in my lifetime, it only makes sense that when my own last out in the 9th comes, that I go out in style.

 

---

Mike:
Seriously. Death shouldn't stop you from being a fan.

 

---

Doug:
Any word on whether they'll be coming out with a pink version for the pink hattahs?

 

---

Mike:
So are we all amped up for 17-0?

 

---

Al:
Wait haven't you heard — the oh-so-physical Jaguars are "built" to beat the Pats.

 

---

Mike:
Oh, right. And the Jags are exuding confidence.

Oooh, scary.

 

---

Al:
Yeah, I guess the Jaguars have forgotten how tough Brady is and how he burns their asses.

 

---

Doug:
Tom Brady is so focused he can sneeze with his eyes opened.

 

---

Al:
When Tom Brady does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

 

---

Mike:
Absolutely. And you know Tom Brady doesn't wear a watch; He decides what time it is.

 

---

Doug:
Enjoy that fleeting confidence while you can, Jacksonville.

 

---

Author's Notes:
Those Brady bits are all reworkings of established "Chuck Norris is so tough …" lines.

Comments

[Go Sox. Go Heels. Yankees Suck. Dook Sucks.]

"Look, just because we're bereaved, that doesn't make us saps!"

Hmmm.. I can't think of any other teams that were confident before playing the Pats.

[Bob]

100,000 years from now, I'd love to here archaeologists explain those urns and caskets.

"Obviously, members of various rival cult factions..."

(Remember, in 100,000 years, the Red Sox will be called the Redbots, and all of their history will have been stolen by relatives of Dr. Charles.)

[Bob]

"Here."

Heh.

Bob's stewpid.

[Rooster]

Wouldn't it be the greatest practical joke to pull a fast one and have your Yankee friend buried in a Red Sox casket? Talk about eternal agony!

Ha ha!

[Bob]

If anybody buried me in a Skankee casket, I'd return as a zombie and eat their brain.

[Da'beads]

But Bob, no one with a brain would bury a Red Sox fan in a Skankee casket...!

[Bob]

Well, I thnk JO and PT actually have brains, and they'd probably consider it quite hilarious to do that to a Red Sox fan.

But you're right in the sense that eating their brains would just be an amuse bouche rather than an entree.

[vasoxfan]

"All we want to do is eat your brains, were not unreasonable, no ones going to eat your eyes"
http://www.jonathancoulton.com/mp3/Re%20Your%20Brains.mp3
Are the Patriots the undead? Or are they the beauty queens whom the Super Bowl is meant for. Are the Jags Janis Ian?

[iwikkidhahtthasawx]

Do these things come with options? I mean, I'd love to be put in a RS urn, but those things are tacky! I'd be afraid somebody would come in after me looking for a cookie or something.

[jamesfrmmaine]

Follow up from two days ago.

http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/Story?id=4115702&page=2

Voice from iranian speedboat video might now be from the speedboats, admits the navy.

The worse part is how horribly faked it is. No engine noise, stupid broken english. What is going on here?

[h.b.]

Okay, my real name is Mabalz Ahari

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

I just came from seeing the trophies. Good times :)

[Harwich Rich]

...and the coffee is jettisoned :)

[Harwich Rich]

and I just got a new monitor dammit

[Dick Hertz From Holden]

I don't know, the name seems fake to me.

[bridge]

How about burial in a giant sneaker? http://blog.wired.com/underwire/2008/01/west-african-tr.html

[Bob]

Beer cart in 7 minutes. Speaking of which:

http://www.vintagecoffins.com/coffin_02.html

[Kaz]

Just a little mega-giant ripping off the little guy:

http://www.johnnycupcakes.com/blog.php

[IkeG]

Dick Hertz! I thought you were a myth, along the lines of pop rocks and coke and the toothbrush story.

[soxdonunder]

packers in the snow
fall behind by fourteen points
favre comes back strong

[soxdownunder]

pats: winners also
although weather more clement
eighteen and zero!

[Dick Hertz From Holden]

I am real

[Kaz]

Natalie has her jersey and a nice baseball cap. More tomorrow, including a pic or two.

[Bob]

Kaz, have you received the letter I sent yet?