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Cross town envy

36 plus hours latah and I'm still as pissed off about Game 2 as I was when it just ended.


Seriously.  Even the Pats taking it to Dallas all old-school stylee didn't cheeah me up.


I'm actually stahting to resent the Patriots … I mean every win, every additional example of their relentless execution just reminds me how effed up the Red Sox side of things can be.


Think about it. Lets say Belichick signs the football equivalent of Eric Gagne, because, you know, they're willing to take a chance on a guy or see something they like despite his record et cetera.


Now if the football version of Gagne were to be total suckitude in every game he appeahed, what are the chances Belichick continues to stick with that dude?


And with a playoff game on the the line in extra innings, can you in your wildest dreams imagine a baseball version of Belichick putting a guy like Gagne in?


No effin way.


See, that's what I'm talking about.



I knew the second Mastny dispatched Papi, Manny and Lowell we were done for. I contemplated turning off the TV before Gag-Me threw his first pitch but suffered through the first run scored. Today's strip sums it up totally. I am pissed we seem to have the Montessori attitude of "everyone on the team is worthy to plan." It's the playoffs, for God sake.

I have a very good feeling about Matsuzaka tonight. Wishful thinking? Hope not...

Um, sorry, but who do you put in besides Gagne? Lopez and Lester were just as bad.

The Tribe could've scored 20 runs and it wouldn't have made a difference. If they'd scored only one, the defeat would probably sting even more.

In other words, it's not as if the Sox scored four or five in the bottom half and came up short: they didn't come up with anything at all. No guarantees here, just "what if's."

You can't lay this all on Gagne: Schilling gave up some turds, too.

Just be calm.

//Um, sorry, but who do you put in besides Gagne?//

Kelly the Ball Girl, obviously.


And of course Schilling deserves blame, but then again HE'S OLD AND SUCKS! Did you really expect he'd go out there and do anything but what he did?

If so, then you're as bad as fucking Suzy Waldman thinking that Roger Clemens would save the Yankees.

Old pitchers are just that: OLD.

And Matsuzaka... ohferrcrissakes. Maybe next year he'll be good.

Down 2-1 after tonight.

Have a nice fucking day.

When did paddy change his name to Doug?

Remember Dice-K liked the comfortable mound (and who doesn't?) at the Jake. Have hope!!

Eric Mouthfuck must be replaced by batshit if we ever get that far.

Dice-K goes 7 2/3rds tonight, 2 earned, 7 Ks., 2 BB.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

BTW, I keep hearing on ESPN how Friday's game was a "classic."

Ever notice how games never seem "classic" when you're on the losing end (see Pats playoff game -v- Indy last year)?

Going to the game tonight!! I hope to have a sign with a shout-out to my favorite Sox site on the internet! (that would be this one) Look for me. I hope to be wearing a Seibu Lions cap!

Go Red Sox!

Back to Friday... Notice when Buck or McCarver (don't remember which), over a shot of the RS bullpen, observed Dice-K sitting there all relaxed. Turns out it was Okajima. Dumb shits can't get their Japanese dudes straight. "I dreamed headlong collisions in jetlag panavisions/I shouted 'sayonara,' it didn't mean goodbye.."

Friday was the GOOD game, guys.

Doug...Doug...here, sit down. Deep breath.

I'm feeling effing great about tonight's game...effing...great.

Snyder should be on the roster instead of Gagne. But I don't blame Tito for Saturday night...we were doomed after they couldn't win it after Papelbon's last out.

Blame Schilling for that loss, nobody else.

Doug, chill dude. Is being down 2-1 the worst you can imagine? Then you don't have a very long fucking memory.

Ah, Doug. I love it when the characters insert themselves into the comments....

Speaking of the characters, when are we getting Al's bio, hb?

Hungover, tired and sore on a Sunday morning without a win to show for it BLOWS...but not as bad as Gagne' BLEW. But do you know who hates Gagme more than the rabid Sox fan (me and my family)? The French-Canadian fans here in New England...they REALLY hate him. My girlfriend and her adult son (Québécois)were cursing IN FRENCH at the dude when he was leaving the bullpen. Maudit!

early CC Sabathia publicity photo

I'm with Bob. The real Dice-K shows up tonight. Although McCarver will commend Tito for the bold move of starting Okajima

I had a dream last night that Gagne took a luxury cruise to the Seychelles. This is no joke. In the dream I was thinking are you kidding - the season's not over and then realized that's the beauty of it.

//Friday was the GOOD game, guys.//

Urg. Guess I'm still recovering from Sunday's game (and it did finish on Sunday).

Great game and why can't we get guys Like oh lets say Trot Nixon?

Doug, ye of little faith. Or maybe ye of too much negative faith. Sure a great start by Beckett was sorta wasted. Sure Schill's start wasn't "bloody sock" worthy.

Dice-K, while he didn't light up the ALDS wasn't bad. He gave the Sox a chance to win. This is his first post season run. I have a feeling he will be more like April Dice-K tonight. He loves the mound there....The Sox have something to prove tonight. It's all good. Most important thing is that if Westbrook tries really hard he can be as good as mediocre!

So Doug, take a deep breath! You are going to stroke out! Go to your "happy place." Go watch the 23232 DVD set from 2004 and make sure you pay attention to the ALCS dvds. It'll make you feel better about this year. :-)


Schilling needed to go deeper in the game.
He didn't and the Sox weakness was over exposed.
I hope the Sox make the World Series if only to have the joy of seeing Gagne left off the WS roster.

Three cheers for the 7PM start time!

Why can't Gag-me fake an injury due to his suckatude like Clemens did in the Skankees series. We would get to replace him, we just would loose the right to his services in the next series (i.e., the WORLD SERIES).

Tito needs the heart to heart with Gag-me. Fer crisakes, he's a free agent at the end of the year. He is killing what he gets for next year's contract.

Saturday's loss hurt but not as bad as the hangover from the bottle of Sailor we downed during the late innings of that game.

I absolve Gagne from his transgressions. This loss is at the feet of Mr. Schilling. If he doesn't give up that gopher ball for 3-runs the Sox win 6-3. He was ahead of every batter it seemed and then served it up to them. Bad call by V-Tek or Schill not hitting his spot or just good patient hitting by the Indians.

That was a VERY important game because we have no idea who pitches the next two games. Good Dice-K or Bad Dice-K? Good Wakefield or Bad Wakefield? Sox can easily be down 3-1 or up 3-1 by Wednesday.

Also don't look now but your Colorado Rockies are 1 win away from the WS.

I am not worried. We're back to where we started. We split with their two best pitchers, and we hold an advantage with the next two. Even if we split, that means we just need Beckett to win (which is likely) and one of either Schilling or Dice-K.

And note that Schilling rarely ever has two bad back-to-back games.

As to Gagne, yeah. He should not be on the roster. Since he was, might as well pitch him, since ... who else in that situation? I don't question the decision to put him in for the 11th, just having him on the roster at all. I question putting Papelbon in for the 9th though. Would've liked to stretch it out a little more, if possible.

BTW, my choice in the 10th for who to put in for the 11th?


Wow, did someone open a paddy wagon to let you people out?

I admit, I hate Gagne's inability to play like he used to. It was worth a shot to get him but now he looks like Foulke did on his way out the door. If Clemens can "have a knee injury" or whatever and be taken off the roster, then Gagne should have hoof-n-mouth or something and be pulled as well. "Wherefore art thou, Gagne?" should be replaced with "Where are you, Buchholz?". It'd only mean that Gagne's not available to us in the WS...and I think we're all fine with that.

Matsuzaka is going to put us right and he only has to beat Jake Westwood One at the Jake to do it. Tonight's a great matchup for us and tomorrow we get to see two geezers see who crumples first..and my money is on giving Byrd a proper Wake. That makes it a 3-1 series with Beckett set to teach CupCake Sabathia how to win a Cy Young. Then it's Rock'em Sox'em Robots for all the chips.

PS - Just be glad we're not San Diego, Philly, Mets, Yankees, Arizona, Cubs, or LAA fans. Would you ever have wanted to go out the way ALL of those teams did? Without even a chance or a fight? (ok, all fairness to SD, they made a hell of an attempt at that playoff game)

I can't speak for Doug, but I suspect you shouldn't take his pessimism at face value.

He's a real ball buster that guy.

I'm really considering finding Gagne on my lunch hour and tying him up in someone's basement til next week or even November.

//Schilling rarely ever has two bad back-to-back games.//

Unfortunately, neither has Carmona (or Sabathia). squandered opportunity

h.b. (and Doug), didn't you hear? Ball busting is not allowed around here. It hurts the poor mofo Yank fans' feelings

buckner: Sabathia has had two bad ones in a row already. OK, not THAT bad, but against Beckett, he doesn't need to be THAT bad.

Sabathia has given up at least two runs in every start since Sep. 14, and three or more in all but one. I'll take Beckett.

And I'll also take Schilling in a good-Carmona vs. good-Schilling rematch.

Just to expand on Doug's point regarding the Patriots, did anyone else notice the last touchdown they scored? I mean, they didn't need the points: they had the game with 2:00 remaining and could have run out the clock, but still went ahead and shoved it up Dallas's ass. Bolsters my theory that they are doing their darndest to give the entire league the finger this year. Ab-so-lutely perfect.

Yeah, I'm not worried right now. Maybe when we get into a spot like the DBacks are in now, maybe then I'll worry. Once Papelbon was out it became a game of "who can F up the other's bullpen first", and we lost. Gagne didn't look good, but keep in mind he didn't give up a 3-run HR (Lester) or a WP to score a run (Lopez). Be sure and spread the blame around for that one.

I like our chances against Westbrook and Byrd. It will be Dice-K's game to win or lose.

The other way to read that final touchdown is that Belichick really is the consummate ass wipe that many people accuse him of being.

re: the touchdown-
I was thinking the same thing, hb. The ex-Navy RB (Eckel?) seems to be his personal victory cigar. And did you notice how Wilson didn't even make eye contact with him at the postgame handshake? He was (rightly) pissed


How about another song to get us in the mood?

Hey h.b. stick to baseball because your anti-BB tone is not appreciated. We et enough of that from the national "media". Phillips called a time-out at the end of the game. What the heck were the Pats supposed to do hand the ball over on downs? By calling the TO it meant the Cowgirls still were trying to win the game.

They could have stopped Eckel from reaching the EZ like to Bills did the other week.

As a Dallas coach once said "It's not our fault your team sucks".

Hey, Scott, little thin-skinned, eh?

I make pretty much the entire theme of the strip in praise of Belichick and then make one devil's advocate comment re "another way to look at it" and you're all crying about it?

Do you ball wash Theo, too, or does just Bill get your magic touch?

Rightly pissed? What kind of namby-pamby shit is that? I fondly remember watching local sports segments and reading next day newspaper reports after Celtics games in the 80's: Bird et al kicked your ass and then told you all about it.

Belichick may be an ass-wipe, but as a fan it's a beautiful thing to see your well-coached team methodically dismantle its opponents. It was not always, and will not always, be thus. Enjoy it, don't bemoan it, fer chrissakes.

Ah, come on, the game wasn't exactly an ass-whipping. I was at a festival in College Station, Texas watching the game surrounded by fair-weather rednecks and they were all watching the game til' half way through through the 4th. Was a great game to watch, if you hate defense.

After all the spygate crap I am a bit on edge when it comes to BB & the Pats. Jimmy Johnson ran up the score whenever he had the chance during his coaching days. The Colts have made it a way of life in order to pad PM's stats.

Wade Phillips acted like an idiot when the Chargers beat the Pats at home a few years ago. Payback is a bitch Wade.

And no I will not ball wash Theo. I have called for his head several times this season in fact.

Thanks for the great strip today and bonus material over the weekend.

Go Sox!

(A la The McGlaughlin Group)

"WRONG...the answer is that Belichick did the right thing! The Pats DO have something to prove and part of that was pounding the hell out of another 5-0 team! Well done, Bill Belichick! Next question..."

After a few days of contemplation, I have to lay this one right at Schilling's feet. We knocked Carmona out after 4+ IP... that's a game you should win no matter what, yeah?

Secondary blame to Francona for not staying with the strong bullpen arms a bit longer with an offday coming up - could have kept Timlin in another inning at least, and why not try out Paps for 2+? That would have given us time to get rid of Betancourt and try our luck against their "closer".

But hey, I said I'd be happy with a split of the homestand. I just thought it would be under different circumstances...

Funny, I almost did a McGlaughlin Group style strip the other day with all the characters giving their predictions for the ALCS.

Goes down in my mind, h.b., as one of the funniest SNL skits ever.

Exactly, vermonter. What the the hell is Belichick supposed to do, give Phillips a backrub and a fucking cup of tea?

That one and Jeopardy.

"Well that's the sound your mother made, last night, Trabek."

WRONG! The best SNL skit of the past 20 years is "Motivational Speaker" with Chris Farley, by a margin of three-point-two-seven to one.

Issue three: Gag-nee, or Gag-me? Eleanor Clift:

Eleanor: Well, John, I believe either pronounciation is throwing mud on a fine...


Morton Kondrake...

still doesn't top the original 'point-counterpoint' of Aykroyd v Curtin.... "Jane, you ignorant slut..."
but, hey, I'm old. Kaz wasn't even born then, and now he's all growed up as a doctor


"Well, John..."


Ok...back to my van down by the river.

"Gagne, after the trade, you were probably saying to yourself, "Now, I'm gonna go out, and I'm gonna get the world by the tail and wrap it around, pull it down and put it in my pocket!" Well, I'm here to tell you that you're probably gonna find out, as you go out there, that you're not gonna amount to JACK SQUAT!" You're gonna end up eating a steady diet of government cheese and living in a van down by the river!"

Too funny.

But that is what I thought about Gagne.

Thinking Oki for the 7th, Gagne for the 8th, Paps closing it out -- we will be unstoppable!!!

Jack Squat indeed.

Buckner, you pompous ass, Akroyd joined Curtin from '77-'78. I was born in 1977, thanks.

Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger...

too funny. Was just in the Lauderdale airport, where they have a place called "Cheeburger, cheeburger". Must be relatives of yours?

Never heard of it, but after looking at the menu, I would be proud to have an owner in the family.

But if I need that big of a burger, there's always 5lbs of beef, 20 slices of cheese, 20 slices of bacon and 5lbs of fries at Eagle's Deli in Cleveland Circle (bringing the whole discussion full circle back to Cleveland (damn I'm good).

hmmm, sounds like a good spot for the next meeting of the unofficial Soxaholix eating and drinking society

James Brown's Celebrity Hot Tub Party.

Too hot in the hot-tub...make it cooler...Good God...

Gagne, "Your setup has become tiresome"

Kaz/Buck - In re Eagles Deli - what is the first best place to pig out?

All else - chill; Matzuzaka-san to come of age tonight (full circle back to Nat's opening gambit).

Bob - just for you:

Youk: only one song per series. ;-)


yes SDU fuck
DiceK san no good. Hari Kari you must.
Use a Boston bat there not being used.

The weird thing was, Dice-K had Beckett-like stuff. Wicked-nasty-shit. But then he'd throw something I threw in Babe Ruth League up there.

Is it just me, or does Wake seem to be the person you'd most want to have on the mound tonight? Other than a fully rested Beckett, of course.

I just love the guy. Yes, it's a man-crush, so kill me.

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