They're here

Bill:
How'd I know this call was going to be from you, Mahty?

 

---

Marty:
Ah, I dunno, Callaghan, perhaps you have one of Belichick's goons parked outside my penthouse with a telephoto lens? That's the way you guys roll up  there in New England isn't it?

 

---

Bill:
Funny, Mahty. Maybe if your Jets would get ovah their obsession with Belichick they might, you know, win a playoff game one of these years.

 

---

Marty:
Look, Callaghan, this is actually an amicable call — Just wanted to say good luck in the series and may the best team win.

 

---

Bill:
Nice try, Mahts. I can smell the reverse mojo you're trying all the way up heah.

 

---

Marty:
Oh, puh-leeze, Bill. You know we Yankees fans don't get into that silly, infantile mumbo jumbo about jinxes and curses and such. We just believe in winning.

 

---

Bill:
Oh, right, of course. So what exactly do you call Rogah Clemens dry humping of the plaques in Monument Pahk befoah each staht?

 

---

Bill:
And then there's Jetah's nationally televised pronouncement of his belief in the paranormal.

 

---

Marty:
Whatever, Callaghan …

 

---

Bill:
Poor Jetes hasn't hasn't seen his ghosts much since they split the scence in 2004 has he? Maybe he should take out a "missed connections" ad on craigslist?

"I saw you outside Yankee Stadium in Oct 2003. You were diaphanous and spectral. I was wearing the pink shirt and dark jeans. I think we were both interested. If so maybe we can go out for coffee? Get to know each other?"

 

---

Comments

[Natalie]

hb, I know you meant plaques in monument park, but please don't change it. plagues is too damn funny!

[Bob]

Good strip, H.B. Even though I've developed an unnatural hatred for a certain cartoon character.

BTW, remember in the 7th game of the '04 ALCS in the early innings, when they showed that guy parading around the Toilet Bowl in a ghost custume?

Heh-heh-heh.

Ooooooo, I'm scared.

[h.b.]

Freudian slip?

[JeffinDC]

Frank Thomas was Papi-esque last night.

[vermonter]

This is what we live for, baseball-wise, anyway. Can't wait for the games. The Fens will be rockin'.

BTW h.b., our speaking of music and bands yesterday reminded me that one of the names we were batting around for our duo was "Reverse Double Secret Mojo". Your influence runs deep.

[Bob]

Vermonter, what about Double Gooch?

[soxdownunder]

It's late. I'm a little drunk on quite good red wine. The Maggies just won in extra time. No one cares. The yanks are in town (fuck 'em). I'm going to cut and paste:

Good old Collingwood forever
We know how to play the game
Side by side we stand together
To uphold the Magpie name

See the barrackers are shouting
As all barrackers should!
Oh the Premiership's a cakewalk
for the good Old Collingwood.

I just wish you people understood. I've been as tense as tense for the last 3 hours. I'll take my sausage WITH ONION and sriracha.

Thanks.

[PS Mrs SDU asleep, there's noone else with whom to share. Sad, sad, sad.]

[soxdownunder]

plague works for me

[Rooster]

I traveled to Baltimore and saw Dice-K get clobbered on Saturday and it was not pretty. I'm going to the game tonight and I am terrified of seeing a repeat of that 'performance'. I pray he worked out his issues and can keep us in the game! Any word on Manny playing yet? I have a feeling we'll need all the offense we can get!

[vermonter]

/what about Double Gooch/

Nice.

We also tried "A Pair of Thunderpants" on for size, but decided against that one too.

Got a gig tonight, in fact, so I'll be watching the game from about 30 feet away.

(singing)"...if you see my little red rooster, pleeeaaase...GO FOR TWO YOUK!, GO FOR TWO, SAFE!!...uh, sorry folks..."

[jamesfrmmaine]

Good strip today...

I lol'ed and my cube mates kind of did the walk by and peak in to find out what could possibly be soooo funny about cms module creation.

Thanks.

[Bob]

SDU, shocking news:

News out of Sydney today that Skins, the Australian sports brand which boasts it does not need to pay athletes to wear its clothes, has been exposed by a consumer watchdog group, which claims that dozens of stars are in fact paid. Cricketers, basketball players and race car drivers are just a few of the sports stars who claim they are paid to wear Skins' products. This is in contrast to the company's award-winning slogan that states: "We don't pay sports stars to wear our products. They pay us."

[Billy Mahty]

"I believe in ghosts."

Heh.. Jeter was just messin with your heads.

[Billy Mahty]

The Sox's magic number is now 11.

[Bob]

He might be a talented, classy player, but Jeter "messing with my head"?

Uh, I don't think so.

He's dumb as a sock-full of nickels.

[Kaz]

I don't get the last panel, h.b.

How could Jeter have seen A-Rod in his pink shirt and dark jeans outside of Yankee Stadium in October 2003 when he didn't join the team until 2004?

[Kaz]

BTW, in re: Pats and cameras...

I want to see 2 things at this Sunday's Pats game that would warm my cockles:

1) Pat Patriot running around all night taunting The Dainian with a giant foam videocamera (bonus points for Belichick hiding a spy cam inside of the fake one)

2) Every single fan in the crowd with a digicam, cellphone, HD vidcam, BetaMax Tapecam, or camera of any kind all pointing them at the SD sideline all night long and somewhere for everyone to upload the footage so that Belichick can watch it after the game. Just to give the ol' 1-finger salute to the NFL commish.

[Kaz]

Ah, crap, and for the Kaz morning post trifecta, I forgot to make it more explicit that I used "warm my cockles" because I know we all have that humorous penchant for finding harmless words/phrases that sound deliciously naughty. Consider it my Friday contribution to the fauna around here.

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

So what exactly do you call Rogah Clemens dry humping of the plaques in Monument Pahk befoah each staht?

A+

[Bob]

Kaz, the idea of hiding a real camera inside a fake foam one that the mascot would use is pure genius.

Personally, I'm going real old school on Sunday night and bringing my Super 8.

[RonF]

So I don't get to see much detailed coverage of the Red Sox out here in Chicago (Shi-ca-ga as the locals say it). What's up with Manny? How's he doing and when is it anticipated he might be back?

[Devine]

RonF...the Globe says he was swinging well a couple of days ago, but Francona has not committed yet on when he will return...

[Kaz]

How do you know the weekend's going to be a good one? You just saw this pic.

[Jason O.]

See Kennedy whiffing people last night? So much for the criticism of that NYY farm system...serious NYY critics should no longer use that tired, disproved canard.

I'm just amazed that Fenway was rebuilt so fast after last season's 5 game demolition...nice job.

Matsuzaka is going to be lit up like a road flare.

Beckett will be silenced.

Schilling, who is now trying to become Greg Maddux, will be sacrificed.

YES...the weekend is here! Enjoy the elegant grandeur that is BOS/NYY.

[Natalie]

I fear Jason is correct about Matsuzaka. Why aren't we throwing Buchholz out there? Show the Yanks something they haven't seen and torched before. Color me nervous for tonight....

[Natalie]

Oh and thanks for Rob and Devine for the NYC Sox bar tips yesterday. Will definitely check them out, as I should be in the Big Apple by the World Series.

[Devine]

Hey Jason...get ready to lose the AL East. (God, it will hurt if I'm wrong.)

And yeah, have Buchholz warming...in the 1st inning...though I actually have kind of a good feeling about Matsuzaka tonight. Not 7 IP, 0 ER good, but 6 IP, 2 ER good.

[Jason O.]

Bring on that shifty, thieving Buchholz...he won't be facing BAL's lineup.

[Griffin]

//Why aren't we throwing Buchholz out there//

Because there are only so many bullets in that arm, and they're more important in the post-season.

If Matsuzaka remembers that he can throw his breaking stuff for strikes, and quit going all Beckett 2006, he'll win.

[vermonter]

Fastball toward A-Rod's earflap-baseball justice or childish lack of discipline?

Discuss.

Dawgs, daughtis, no big whoop.

[Griffin]

//Bring on that shifty, thieving Buchholz...he won't be facing BAL's lineup.//

Do you mean that same Baltimore that has an 8-4 record against the Yankees?

And everyone knows the Yankees pitchers are a bunch of choirboys. They aren't getting suspended for throwing 98-mph fastballs at anyone's head. Oh, wait...

[Devine]

Forgive me if you hate metal or anything, but I've been listening to Judas Priest a lot today, and this has entered my head as the perfect music/lyrics for the final Yankees series, especially as it (inadvertently) has a baseball term.

"Rapid Fire" (1st verse)

Pounding the world like a battering ram
Forging the furnace for the final grand slam
Chopping away at the source soon the course will be done
Leaving a trail of destruction that's second to none

[Devine]

PS I think it might actually be "cause will be gone" at the end of the third line and "Cleaving" to start the fourth line...the internets may not be completely accurate on lyrics, it turns out. But either way, the sentiment seems about right for my frame of mind right now.

[Jason O.]

breaking the law is THE best video from the first 5 years of mtv

[yazbread]

I recommend having INS (oops, I mean the USCIS division of DHS) at Fenway tonight. Let Matsuzaka know that if he continues to stink, he will be run out of the country, not just the town. FYI - I am not zenophobic, just your typical rabid Sox fan.

[Evan]

Cant wait to put the Yanks out of their misery. They're absolutely done unless they sweep us. Funny thing is... Yankee fans think this is a forgone conclusion. What arrogant jackasses (Offense, Jason).

[Colin]

I'm approaching this one with cautious optimism. I believe the BoSox are going to take that last debacle at Yankee Stadium to heart and put some big effort into this, knowing the MFY can certainly put effort into things.

In my opinion, the key to this is disciplined pitching (Matsuzaka please focus on this one), patience at the plate (Youk, Drew, et al.), and solid hit/run support.

I think Tek is right for discouraging booing at Drew, and that's why he's the Captain. Yes Drew's been more disappointing than I'd like to admit but maybe some encouragement could help him squeak a hit or even a run in.

Watching the games will most likely result in aneurysm, so I'm going to find ways to support without stress. Go Sox, go Dusty (still my choice for RotY), and go Papi/Manny for the win.

P.S. It's xenophobic, not zenophobic.

[h.b.]

Some the the Yankees fan cockiness is to be expected. The Yankees are 8-0 against the Red Sox in September the past 2 years.

[yazbread]

>It's xenophobic, not zenophobic.

Plaques v. plagues gets a bye, and I get busted for a brain cramp. Go figure. Weren't Roger Kahn's parents reciting 'In Zanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree' while Roger was trying to figure out a way to go to the Dodgers game?

[Colin]

You're right Yaz, I'm sorry. Still trying to overcome my neurosis with spelling and grammar.

I don't even know what to say about Clemens anymore. He was my idol when I was 8 and now this...

[da kine]

My company's Mahty's are all threatening to tell me the score of the game every hour on the hour, which here in Hawaii means the game will most likely be over and ruined for me before I get home to watch the tivo. Fucking Skankees fans!

[da kine]

I have no idear why I put an apostrophe in Mahtys. Please ignore my foolishness.

[vermonter]

A la The McGlauglin Group:

"WRONG...the answer is put one in his ear"!

[rotesocken04]

Kaz,
I couldn't tell if you did not the last panel. (Or were being tounge-in-cheek)? The October 2003 picture is one of Jeter standing in the pink shirt and dark jeans missing his ghosts. 2004 has shown Mystique and Aura were not really ghosts, but just cheap strippers in the VIP room with A-Rod (so there was an ephemeral and diaphanous connection to A-Rod, after all).

[Bob]

Where do you work, da kine?

When I lived in Hololulu, I was in one of those towers at the end of Bishop Street (right across from Aloha Tower).

[Devine]

Is that a joke of some sort, h.b.? Am I being dense?

The Sox were 2-2 against the Yanks in September '05 (3-3 if you count the two final games of the regular season in October), and 3-1 last September (in some completely meaningless games...except that they didn't allow the Yankees to celebrate in front of Boston at Yankee Stadium).

Maybe you meant August of this year and last year (sadly true: 0-8 vs. Yankees in August' 06, August '07)?

[Kaz]

Thanks, rotesocken04, I was just riffing on the classic "Jeter <3 A-Rod". I did get the Mystique/Aura/ghosts intent too. :)

[h.b.]

That was actually a quote from Theo via SoSH.

I took it at face value because it was from Theo and I have no actual recollection of the past 2 Septembers myself.

[h.b.]

OK. More info on that. Theo was talking about "meaninful" games. When we took 3/4 last September we were already out of it.

[Devine]

Ah, cool, h.b. Thanks.

No recollection of the last two Septembers, eh? I remembered anecdotally that had to be wrong because of the fight to the finish in '05, and the celebrations-staving victories at Yankee Stadium in '06. Then I checked for the exact numbers.

[Scott]

Devine,

Priest Rules! Two of my ring tones are JP songs. The other being Sabbath. DIO Sabbath that is.

Headed to the mountains to hunt Bambi's dad. Not concerned the least with the Skanks. I'll be back for the games Sunday night on dueling TV's.

Bob, scream extra loud on Sunday for us please.

Go Sox, Go Pats, Go Video cameras!

[Griffin]

//Yes Drew's been more disappointing than I'd like to admit but maybe some encouragement could help him squeak a hit or even a run in.//

FYI, Drew's hitting .345 this month.

[h.b.]

Ever since I started doing The Soxhaholix site, I've lost the ability to remember too much of individual games. (Well, the hydro chronic doesn't help either.)

[Bob]

Vermonter, remember when the McLaughlin Group was good (before John had dementia)?

Issue ONE: I loved how he'd funk up everyone's names.

This SNL skit nailed the bizzaro-world that was TMG:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSgKPmDLYto

Did you like the video?

WRONG!

The correct answer is 6.5.

[Vivo]

Dream away, Yankee Fan: 5.5 in arrears with 15 to play means even the (highly unlikely) sweep does you little good. The best part is, your team's had to bust its ass the whole second half for the chance to play the Angels in the Division Series, who will summarily torch them. Woo-hoo!

[jen in HI]

hey Bob, I think dakine works near schofield. I don't know when you were last at aloha tower but, man oh man, they sure gussied that place up for La touristas. I remember seeing Sonic Youth and Mudhoney there when it was an old, crumbling bit of waterfront (aka the good old days).

i'm hoping my boy Matsuzaka can pull it off tonight. I'll be listening via WRKO...likely with that damn geffner at the mic.

[Aaron]

I just can't summon my normal level of excitement for a September Sox/MFY series. Thanks to the collapses of the Mariners and Tigers, there's not a whole lot on the line this weekend, because both teams are lead-pipe certainties to make the playoffs.

I definitely want the division, but if we end up flaming out in the first round, it won't mean much. Likewise, nobody will remember blowing the division if we win another Series as the wildcard.

I've been reading a lot of hating online from Steelers, Colts, Chargers fans since "videogate" made the news. With respect to all the Haterade:

Oderint Dum Metuant

(apologies to Jason O. if he's already used this phrase before and I'm not remembering it)

[Kaz]

Aaron, here's a webgame right up your alley:

Viva Caligula! - Run around slaughtering all the citizens of Rome using any of 26 weapons. Collect all weapons across the 7 hills of Rome to enter the palace for the celebratory orgy!

[Bob]

I always imagined a Caligula orgy was kind of like George Costanza's sex fantasy: eating cured meats while screwing.

Hmm, maybe not JUST Costanza's sex fantasy.

BTW, not that anyone cares, but I'm on vacation next week so my usual piss- vinegar-and-yeast-infection comments won't be as frequent.

Have a great week, all.

I'll be lucky if I survive this weekend, what with the Skanks tomorrow, then the Chargers Sunday.

And then the Bills next Sunday.

I predict The Gout by the second week of October.

[Griffin]

Jen, I believe it's O'Brien tonight, not Geffner.

[Billy Mahty]

Speaking of messing with minds... Clemens is a crafty bastard.

"I enjoy playing [at Fenway]," Clemens said. "I don't know how long it's been, but I look forward to it.

It's been about four years Roger.... from the wayback machine:

10/11/2003 10:15 PM ET
High-octane Rocket fuels win
Clemens pitches six inspired innings in Fenway finale
By Kevin Czerwinski / MLB.com

BOSTON -- There is a controlled fury that Roger Clemens brings to the mound.
It's more intensity than it is anger, and for six innings Saturday evening the Rocket harnessed that energy, delivering it in a powerful fashion that, for many years, was a common occurrence at Fenway Park.

This outing, however, would prove to be the last time Clemens would blow through the old ballpark with the ferocity of a freight train. He's 41 years old, but his performance in Game 3 of the American League Championship Series looked an awful lot like that of a younger man, a younger Clemens, who clearly seemed to be reaching back in time with every pitch he threw.

Like those games from years ago, Clemens once again came out on top. This time, however, it was the Yankees who walked out of Fenway as winners, topping Boston, 4-3, in a pivotal contest overflowing with emotion.

While Clemens' feelings have gotten the best of him at times at Fenway during the post-Boston years of his career, his ability to keep himself in check Saturday evening proved to be a crucial part of New York's victory. The Rocket stayed focused after the Red Sox scored two first-inning runs, settling down to retire 13 of the next 14 batters.

Clemens also never lost his cool after Pedro Martinez hit Karim Garcia with a fourth-inning pitch. When Manny Ramirez approached Clemens in the bottom half of the inning following a pitch that was high but not all that tight, holding a bat in a threatening manner, the Rocket never flinched. The 13-minute, bench-clearing episode that ensued as a result of Ramirez's actions never caused Clemens to come unglued either.

[jen in HI]

Griffin...alas. It is the master of the 3x5 notecards on the mic. maybe I'll get lucky tomorrow.

[jen in HI]

BTW...anyone know what happened to lc's 38cliches page??

[Blue Statah]

Devine,

You da man. You predicted Dice-K would go 6 IP, 2 ER tonight; he went 5-2/3 and 2 ER (I forget now whether both MFY runs were earned). Can't do much better than that. I thought Dice-K was uneven; when he was mixing up his pitches well he was terrific, but when he started getting tired he seemed to be relying too much on heat. The Sawx have gotten a couple of questionable calls, highly unusual and a good sign, I think.

[Kaz]

Well, ain't that a kick in the cockles.

Whoever had "Boston Bullpen" in the "8th inning" with the "shitty pitching"...you win the game of Clue!

[Billy Mahty]

Actually Kaz, you're close, but I think it was "Slappy McBluelips," in the "8th," with the "rod." Good game everybody. See you in a few.

[Devine]

Thanks, Blue Statah! I do what I can!

Shame about the 8th. I came pretty close to crying, though I didn't in the end. I really gotta get some distance from this crap.

Scott, Priest does rule! I'm a fan of Screaming for Vengeance in particular.

[Kaz]

Yes, Mahty, it was *ALL* about A-rod and the Yankees bats yesterday...never mind the garbage pitches and nonsense that ended up with Papelbon in the 8th with no outs...had *NOTHING* to do with the bullpen looking like crap and cold pitching.

Sure thing.

[Billy Mahty]

Hey Kaz.. sorry, I was just joking with/rephrasing what you said.. no offense.

Besides, your boys apparently delivered a spanking today. I didn't see it and don't yet know how it went down... should make tomorrow all the more interesting.

[Evan]

"Matsuzaka is going to be lit up like a road flare.

Beckett will be silenced." - Jason

Well, i'm going to guess you aren't exactly a fortune teller.

[Kaz]

Mahty, I don't mind a good ribbing when it's rooted in reality. But yeah, I did find it odd to hear how it was A-Rod and not Boston that paved the way to that first loss. I watched the game today. Wang couldn't keep his pitches low. Beckett was on fire after that first HR to Jetah.

[Bob]

I was at yesterday's (Saturday's) game. Yankee fans were beyond their usual obnoxious selves.

That didn't last long. Heh.

Wang was getting ripped even when the Sox weren't getting hits. How many times did we slaughter balls down the right field line that were 2 inches foul? Five or six at least.

The crowd was good, but not great, until Wang hit Yuuuuuuk. Not a good idea. The decibel level rose by a level of 10 from then on.

Anyway, a fun time was had by all.

BTW Buck and Kaz and SDU, had the sausage with peppers AND ONIONS outside Gate C, not the usual B. Saw they had a full bottle of our fav hot sauce. My butt is burning this morning (I know, way too much information).

Anyhoo, it's off to the Pats game at 3:00. I'm currently coating my quail in cranberries and chili paste, applying rosemary and garlic to the rack of lamb, and doing work in-between. Because as I was told Friday, "your vacation starts MONDAY."

[Kaz]

Thank god football has started.

I forsee a very 2005-like exit from the postseason. There's no leadership on this team.