Do the cuffs match the collar?

Mike:
You know growing up whenevah I'd heah people talking about '78, I always imagined the collapse to be some sort of dramatic, cataclysmic, big bang kind of event.

 

---

Mike:
Howevah, now going through a collapse of equal proportions myself first hand, I realize it's not like that at all. It's all slow and gradual, know what I mean?

 

---

Susan/Circle:
Exactly. Where you once figured it was like a shotgun barrel in the mouth with brains splattered against the wall kind of death, you now know it's more of a car running in a closed garage cahbon monoxide asphyxiation kind of ending … you know, peaceful, really.

 

---

Mike:
That's it, precisely.

 

---

Mike:
I tell you, though, aftah the Bucholz no-hittah, I thought that was a sign that the winds had shifted and we'd have smooth sailing into winning the division with a nice cushion. I just didn't see it coming to this.

 

---

Susan/Circle:
Yeah, well, life is funny that way, isn't it? I mean in a post-feminist age, who would have guessed that we'd see women asking themselves, "Is my anus pink enough?", and yet …

 

---

Mike:
Hmmm … First came the pink caps, now the pink sphincs. There's a twisted yet titillating symmetry to it all somehow.

 

---

Comments

[Youk Rules]

Champions win these kinds of games.

[sox boy]

Thank god they didn't give Francona a contract extension. Is LaRussa available next year? It's bad enough that he brought Schilling out in the 8th the other night, and kept him in even with 2 runners on and one out. But leaving he-with-glasses-whose-name-shall-not-be-spoken-hear in after he OBVIOUSLY doesn't have it, and loads the bases, with Paps ready, was beyond stupid. I'm eagerly jumping on the Fire FranComa bandwagon. The talent is there to win, you just have to know how to move the chess pieces at the right time.

I hate to say I'm not a believer right now. This team would get crushed by the Angels, the Yanks, and even the supposedly lesser Indians. Thank god for the Pats, at least they have a coach who has the balls to do whatever it takes to win.

P.S. Can you imagine Sparky Anderson, Whitey Herzog, even LaRussa letting their star hitter sit out for 2 weeks and potentially the remainder of the season with a "strained oblique"? Ridiculous. Methinks "strained oblique" is MannySpeak for "I just scored a ginormous bag of killer weed so don't expect to see me around for a while?" So-called "players managers" SUCK, give me a disciplinarian!

[junior]

Everything is gonna' be ok. If you look at this team and look at every out, they're trying fuckin' hard.
Do you honestly think that Papi swung at air tonight because he didn't care, or because he just, well, swung at fuckin' air?
They're trying, what that means in the end, I don't know.

[Matt]

Not sure if the comparison has been made before, but Gagne looks an awful lot like our Kyle Farnsworth - great in a blowout, a big bag of suck with the game on the line.

But on the bright side (and this maybe a stretch), the Tigers also choked away a division title at the end of last season and ended up at least IN the World Series.

[NolaSox]

In observance of talk like a pirate day:

No one be gettin' near me dungbie with bleach!

And it's Davy Jones' locker for Gagne

[junior]

Matt, the only time that this team's won anything that's fuckin' counted for anything was at 12.01 am at Yankee Stadium, fighting, .....something, after being 3 zip down. It ain't gonna be easy, but who wants that?
And kindly go and get fucked to any Yankee Fan that posts on this site because the cartoons are funny. Life's short. Go fuck yourself.

[Hugs and Kisses]

First call: Laptop crashes tonight.

[Aaron]

Christ, how could I have forgotten Talk Like a Pirate Day?

I say we observe this most holiest of days by keelhauling Manny, Gagne, and Francona.

Whatever the hell that means. ARRRRRRR!!!!

[Jason O.]

I'm not really happy that Red Sox partisans were wrong about NYY. In fact, I would recommend that you have your heads examined if you guys were not talking shit a few months ago.

What's really sweet is that people like Ken Rosenthal, Steve Phillips and many other baseball "experts" are sucking their own assholes.

[Kaz]

Pink head or pink tail. It's really just two sides of the same coin.

[Scott]

Did we quit when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no. Don't give up the ship quite yet.

I usually drink like a pirate so I will be sipping some Pussers Navy Rum tonight.

As I have said here before Gagne blows dead goats.

I love Manny but his photo is coming off the laptop wallpaper today.

[Devine]

I feel crushed today. Just devastated.

I feel like I need to just read the box scores for awhile, and not watch the horror play out live. I've often wondered in the past few years if I just don't possess the temperament to be a healthy baseball fan.

[Natalie]

Saying Gagne blows dead goats is an insult to dead goat fellators the world over. When he blew the deceased horned billy last night, I screamed out loud and scared the dog. And possibly my neighbors.

Today's strip is brilliant because it's so true- I expected a collapse to be violent and sudden, not this endless erosion.

[MattOfCT]

NolaSox, I think a keelhauling is more in order for Gagne

[Kaz]

Who knew we just needed an Eric Gagne to take our minds off of JD Drew?

Here's to you, JD Drew! The happiest Red Sox player in the world right now!

[iwanttobealion]

The strip today is almost exactly how I'm feeling this morning. Although a simple line of text in white on a black box stating "I don't want to talk about it..." would've been right on.

or maybe "Fucking Gagne..."

[jammer]

Francona/Gagne 2007 = Grady/Pedro 2003

Why is that guy even on the mound in a one run game?!?!

[chucks]

DIY backdoor bleaching kits
I can hear Zippy chanting backdoor bleaching kits! backdoor bleaching kits! backdoor bleaching kits! as Gagne coughs up yet another lead. He looked to be near tears on the mound last night.

Get him Smoltz's head doc (Llewellyn?)from the early 90's, pronto.

[h.b.]

//Although a simple line of text in white on a black box stating "I don't want to talk about it..." would've been right on.//

Don't forget, I need to have fall back positions for 1) when we actually lose the lead 2) when we are are unceremoniously trounced in the playoffs.

But, of course, that isn't going to happen.

[Colin]

Shit...I don't blame Drew for being happy now that we've found someone to ruin our shit more than him. Hell even Drew sneaks a hit/run in or two from time to time to contribute.

Terry needs some serious evaluation. I don't know what game he's playing. Whether it's playing with the mindset of just getting in the playoffs even with the WC, seriously trying to clinch the AL East but running into snags, or just on PCP and crack cocaine watching your bonehead plays, I think I represent a good portion of Red Sox Nation when I humbly request to please stop fucking with our heads.

I dunno whether we've exhausted ourselves fighting the MFY tooth and nail or we're just offensively impotent. I don't buy the "we don't give a shit" attitude though it looks like it peeks its ugly little head out. I've seen little progress from Dusty who normally is our 1st inning single/double guy, Ortiz seems to lack coordination when swinging, and our bottom third of the order is usually a mish-mash of mediocrity. I think only Lowell has been the most consistent recently.

Words of Wisdom: Keep Gagne away from anyone not wearing pinstripes and away from any game that involves a lead of less than three runs. The Yankees don't feel like slowing down, so we're gonna have to speed it up again.

I don't wanna have the feeling that our 14.5 game lead was only because it was like a wolf (Sox) preying on a sickly deer (MFY) and now we're paying for it in spades. So Sox, please shut the NY/NJ college kids in Boston up and try and remember how you played the game back in April/May.

[Billy Mahty]

Look everyone, the Sox's Magic number is 9 to clinch the division. You can stop your hand-wringing. It's over, done with.

I was wrong with my playoff scenarios on Monday, because as it stands now the Yanks will face the Indians in the ALDS. The Yanks are 8-0 against the Tribe this year, so that looks pretty good. I just hope the Sox down the Halos so we can have some fun in the ALCS.

[Ogie Oglethorpe]

I'm not pushing the panic button, I'm jumping up and down on it.

But you might say: "It's ok, winning the division isn't that important, etc. etc."

Where I come from, that's loser talk.

[yazbread]

The crash in 78 was indeed a big bang. A huge lead, Martin and Reggie fighting in the dugout, it looked like the team could do no wrong. Then bats cooled off, pitching reverted to form, and the team had a couple of huge losing streaks. And then the MFY came in and clean their clock in Fenway towards the end of the season. This year can't even begin to compare. 78 was a brutal death, this year the team has just slowly bled to death over the last half of the season. The 2007 Sox aren't going to challenge the '64 Phillies or the '69 Clubs but it will be embarassing nonetheless. The games are pure misery to watch right now. Soon I'll begin to go back over my old posts to see how much crow I have to eat at the end of the season - not much I hope.

[Harwich Rich]

Speaking of pink sphincs-how's Phil Sphincter's murder trial going? (rimshot) :D I'm here all week for Bob try the rack of lamb with sriracha glaze

[Harwich Rich]

Just trying to lighten things up

[Follower of Tito]

Agreed Yazbread, for those of us old enough to remember, the worm turned quickly in '78.

As for the no good Canuck, Gagne, even my girlfriend (who is from Quebec) wonders if his on the take from the MFY.

She cannot bear to watch him anymore, and last night, as she was hurling french insults (more actually, I might add, than Gag-me's pitches) at the TV, I had to take the remote from her hand so she didn't ruin a perfectly good television.

At this point, I'd take Foulke, as is instead of Gagne.

[Follower of Tito]

should be "he's" not "his"...sorry, listening to too much french cursing

[Sonoma Sox]

on the bright side (obviously reaching for something good)
Hometown hero Lou Merloni is earning MVP awards at the AAA level helping the Sac team to a championship.
papers out here have been loving Lou for the last month since the A's/Giants took the big suck.
This dread can't continue - maybe da kine will make a Gagne voodoo doll t-shirt - that should help

[Aaron]

Since it appears as if Timlin has finally recovered from the "dead arm" that plagued him all of last year and a good chunk of this season's first half, why not put him back in his old slot as right-handed setup man? Unless he starts giving up three runs every single time he steps on the mound, he'd be an improvement over Gagne.

Or is even this too complicated for Francona to follow?

[vasoxfan]

>>As for the no good Canuck, Gagne, even my girlfriend (who is from Quebec) wonders if his on the take from the MFY.>>

I was wondering that too. And I took it a step farther. What if Tito's been told to lose since a Boston/NY ALCS will bring better TV ratings and sell more newspapers?

I'm instance and have no perspective and am not mentally able to be a normal baseball fan.

[vasoxfan]

>>I'm instance and have no perspective and am not mentally able to be a normal baseball fan.>>
Thats :
I'm insane and have no perspective and am not mentally able to be a normal baseball fan.

Oh Brother..

[kjc]

Pain, Pain! No Kill I

[NYSoxfan]

Francoma sucks, I agree, but LaRussa is an assjack extraordinaire. He's presided over some of the most juiced up teams and players of all-time -- and he can't hold his liquor. No way the Sox brass should even think about him as manager for the SeaDogs. How about somebody who played in Boston who isn't over 65... I'm thinking more of a Tony Peña type.

[da'beads]

I agree re: LaRussa. I would rather see Big Bird sitting at the top of the steps into the dugout than that ass hat....

[da kine]

Sonoma Sox, we only make positive shirts, i.e. no "Screw the Yankees" or anything like that. My negative impulses have been rising of late, hence no new shirts. Fucking Gagne.

[COD]

Just read something (lost the link already though) where Francona said he and Theo were trying to get Gagne back. Basically, they let him fail, hoping he wouldn't.

[Bob]

Yazbread, there was certainly alcohol involved after last night's game. Lots and lots of it.

3:18. Yikes. My personal line was set at 3:00 again.

Anyway, I'm on the road (a lovely trip North with the girlfriend), so it should be intresting here next Monday.

I'm still cautiously optimistic. The thing is, the word "cautiously" wasn't there before last night.

[Bob]

BTW, anybody win the post-season tix lottery? Just got emailed that I didn't. Still have tix for Home Game 2 of the ALDS though.

[Devine]

Well, Cleveland just finished pounding the Tigers into the ground (as the Sox should have done to the Yankees this past weekend), so the playoff magic number is 3.

We're going to be in the postseason, but I must say I really wanted (want?--seems hard to believe the Sox will ever win again) the division. Really, really badly.

[Sonoma Sox]

da kine - that's what I like about your tees...I'm not a big fan of shirts that give attention to that other team.

BUT - considering the recent past, a voodoo doll of Gagne tee might fall into that positive category - shudder to think of the alternatives

[Jason O.]

Re: Devine's comment and the Indians, I think the standard "much rather play the Indians than the Angels in the ALDS" CW is being revised...

[louclinton]

I think the travel aspect of it can't be underestimated. I would rather take on the Indians than the Halos, although I think the pitching staff has Vlad's #

lc

[G-dog]

Eric Gagne is the opposite of "closer" -- he's an "OPENER".

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